Topic: Please, Just Let Me Die Already (Read 273616 times)

benji · « **Reply #700 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 13:58 »

It really depends on the personalities involved. My instinct is to say you should be on more solid footing with your current friend before you do this. Once you get to where you can actually call her your girlfriend, I would ask her in such a way that it gives her the ability to say no without consequence. I wouldn't call it a double date. I would say something more like, "hey, my friend [ex] and her boyfriend have invited us out for [whatever]. Would you like to go?"

Slick · « **Reply #701 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 18:12 »

OH THE REDHEAD SAID YOU SHRED THE CELLO

Slick · « **Reply #702 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 18:12 »

AND I'M JELLO, BABY

StaedlerMars · « **Reply #703 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 19:19 »

that is brilliant.

Reed · « **Reply #704 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 19:41 »

Well it doesn't matter because it turns out she was heading out of town anyways. I'm a little worried because I got a little drunk and texted her saying that I miss her a little bit. I hope she doesn't get creeped out and think I'm moving too fast or anything (I'm 24 and she's 20, so I'm a little worried about this anyways). I think I down played it enough, but at the same time I have absolutely no self-confidence and I don't want to come off as some needy little bitch who can't live without her.

Slick · « **Reply #705 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 19:49 »

I ASKED HER TO GO TO THE GREENDAY CONCERT

Slick · « **Reply #706 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 19:50 »

SHE SAID SHE NEVER HEARD OF THEM

Slick · « **Reply #707 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 20:38 »

I know!

Slick · « **Reply #708 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 20:38 »

SO I WENT TO HER ROOM AND RED HER DIARRRRRRYYYYY

Emaline · « **Reply #709 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 21:16 »

So wait, its weird to tell people you miss them?

Slick · « **Reply #710 on:** 10 Apr 2009, 21:32 »

Dependence and affection are unattractive.

Josefbugman · « **Reply #711 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 01:49 »

Only if you guys have never been close or if you parted on bad terms.

nobo · « **Reply #712 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 06:39 »

Quote from: Emaline on 10 Apr 2009, 21:16

So wait, its weird to tell people you miss them?

No. I tell my gf that every day. We live about 1000 miles apart and won't get to live near each other for at least another year.

Emaline · « **Reply #713 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 07:24 »

I tell it to my best friend who lives in Chicago, and rarely to a friend who I feel super close to(because I trust him), but I don't think he cares much for me. And then it is usually after a stressful night, and him basically calming down and stopping me from crying, and I feel better and am all "man. We should hang out sometime." I realize that at this point in the night, he'd rather not hang out, but I still say it.

MrBlu · « **Reply #714 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 07:33 »

Quote from: Dire bacterium on 09 Apr 2009, 16:57

No, most of us really are that dumb. The few times a girl has pursued me I haven't realized she was doing it until her friend told me to to stop being such a jackass and kiss the woman.

Yeah, I've been in a situation like, 3 times (in a row) where a girl likes me and I don't realize it, until I mess things up with her.

Slick · « **Reply #715 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 09:03 »

I wish I could get my head out of the sand.

Slick · « **Reply #716 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 09:04 »

'cause I think we'd make a good team.

Slick · « **Reply #717 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 09:10 »

And you would keep my fingernails clean.

Reed · « **Reply #718 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 09:48 »

I'm worried about it because we really haven't spent that much time together and I don't want to come off as needy, overbearing or like I'm moving too fast.

Keep in mind that this is the first time I've actually pursued someone in 6 years, and I'm already prone to overthinking my actions. So essentially, I'm constantly seeing my actions as just another step towards sabotaging it.

Slick · « **Reply #719 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:19 »

Well, have you heard back from her? If you are worried you are being too needy/on-strong, wait for a reply and don't text back for a little while. Be cool.

I have definitely been hanging after sending a 'miss you' text to someone when I was half thinking 'this text will probably make her not like me' and half thinking 'omygod she's so awesome and she put the moves on me'. It is a pretty shitty feeling but I guess it is just a drawback of a passive medium like sms.

Slick · « **Reply #720 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:20 »

I mean

I THINK I'D BE GOOOOOOD FOR YOU
AND YOU
WOULD BE GOOOOOOD FOR MEEEEEE

Reed · « **Reply #721 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:24 »

No, I haven't heard back from her. I think you're right, I'll just try to not think about it and give it a little time.

Slick · « **Reply #722 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:27 »

Texting/e-mailing is great because it is passive and non-confrontational, but it has the problem that if the person does not reply you can't easily follow up without losing your shot at being cool. It is an awkward limbo, but there is not much you can do. Just act like it ain't no dick.

Slick · « **Reply #723 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:28 »

HELLO
I'M HERE
I'M WAAAAIIIITINNNNNGGGG

Reed · « **Reply #724 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:32 »

I guess I'll just have to put some Cure on and mope my day away

Slick · « **Reply #725 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:39 »

WRONG CHOICE. GO OUT AND ENJOY THE SUNSHINE.

Reed · « **Reply #726 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 10:51 »

(It's raining here)

Lines · « **Reply #727 on:** 11 Apr 2009, 11:16 »

Quote from: Slick on 11 Apr 2009, 10:39

GO OUT AND ENJOY THE SUNSHINE.

THIS. I really want to do this, but no, I'm stuck at work for another 3 hours being bored and wondering why boy hasn't said anything. He had to cancel yesterday and said we'd do something this weekend, but as tomorrow is Easter, I think he means today.

I know why I prefer being single sometimes. I hate this "well, why not/what if/why why why" crap.

Jace · « **Reply #728 on:** 12 Apr 2009, 10:04 »

Quote from: Slick on 11 Apr 2009, 10:39

GO OUT AND ENJOY THE SUNSHINE.

I work nights. Sometimes I miss the sunshine.

Also, I've become very lazy at pursuing any sort of relationship. Until I don't work nights, its just not worth it. Nearly every other girl my age is not working overnight. They like to go out at night, not at like 3 in the afternoon, but not later than 10pm.

ViolentDove · « **Reply #729 on:** 12 Apr 2009, 15:25 »

There is a whole realm of girls in the hospitality industry who work at nights!

I just realised that sounds like I'm talking about prostitutes, but I was actually trying to refer to people who work at bars/clubs/restaurants.

Jace · « **Reply #730 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 00:48 »

I haven't found any of them that are
a) close to my age, within 3 or 4 years
b) not already in a relationship
c) anywhere.

Remember guys, I live in a silly country that doesn't let adults into bars until they turn 21, so I can't go out and meet girls in bars, clubs (there is only one club that lets people under 21 in, and it is a terrible place that only plays rap songs that are 5 years old), and pretty much all restaurants other than Dennys and Waffle House close at 11pm where I live.

ViolentDove · « **Reply #731 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 00:55 »

Oh right! Sorry... I forget about your silly laws sometimes.

Slick · « **Reply #732 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 06:18 »

Man clearly they were not thinking of you when they called it the 'land of opportunity'.

Skibas_clavicle · « **Reply #733 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 10:14 »

I am really uncomfortably attracted to a friend of mine and my boyfriend's. We've always had a very fun friendship dynamic and he is super excited about the fact that the bf and I finally got together. However, I've been into him on and off since we met and to be honest, I really like his personality most. I think he's just a really nice, decent dude, under the somewhat pretentious, but not douchebaggy, exterior. What makes me like a bajillion times more uncomfortable about this is the fact that my boyfriend made a joke last night about "how cute" he and I would look together and I just was like "oh man, I have never thought of _____ in that way! That's so ridiculous!"

Dimmukane · « **Reply #734 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 10:47 »

Right now I feel like I am in a situation where I am that guy (albeit probably less pretentious). The bf, who is my best friend, is in Arizona for at least a year. The girl, who I'm also really close to, has told me to refuse her if she tries to jump my bones, but that is going to be really hard. I know I could keep that from happening, but I don't know if either of us wants to, and I really don't want to fuck up the unholy trinity that the three of us have.

Slick · « **Reply #735 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 11:18 »

I wasn't really going to post this here but I guess in light of the last two posts I might as well.
Basically I slept with my best friend's girlfriend the other day. It was odd.

So I knew my friend had had open relationships before, but I wasn't sure if this one was open or not. It seemed like there had always been an attraction between her ladyfriend and I, and to cut out the details we had been drinking and were then making out. Shortly into that I was like 'uh hey um, so is this going to be OK with <your girlfriend/my good friend>' and she was like 'yes it will be OK I will talk to her tomorrow' which I took to mean it was OK. Apparently, the relationship was not actually open but due to some bizarre precedent some months ago she thought it would be OK. Also this women gave me all hells of an awful hickey.
Things seem to be OK now? Friend was upset but we had a long chat and I think things are OK. They are reasonable rational people and are sorting/have sorted their stuff out. I apologized for not checking with my friend first, I do not think she bears animosity my way now. I would hate to have messed things up for them but I think things will/have recover(ed).

I guess the point there is just to be clear with communication and comprehension of what the relationship situation is. Also if you think there may be problems avoid getting drunk together. I think the danger is not in getting so drunk that you'll get trashed and sleep together and only half-remember it and feel really awkward/weird about it, but that you'll drink enough that your brain will not apply rigorous reasoning and you will just think it is OK what could be wrong with this mmmm makeouts.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #736 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 11:57 »

That's fine and all, but how would you deal with dogged persistence from the other party?

redglasscurls · « **Reply #737 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 12:02 »

Maybe not hang out with them alone:/

Dimmukane · « **Reply #738 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 12:09 »

But that would suck!

Regardless, she's going to be living farther away for a couple of months to finish school and won't visit often, maybe she'll be able to think things through a little bit.

Slick · « **Reply #739 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 12:15 »

If she is persistent and that is beyond the parameters of the relationship, I suppose you ought to tell her that that's some bullshit you can't deal with. That is probably some tough advice to follow up on though.
Saying 'don't let me jump your bones' and then making advances is a pretty shit move to make on a friend.

redglasscurls · « **Reply #740 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 12:22 »

Yeah it's kind of a sneaky way of making anything that happens your fault instead of hers, at least in her mind.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #741 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 12:31 »

She hasn't made any serious advances yet. But I can tell she's having a hard time of it. I'm hoping that she can work on that while she's away.

But you're both right, I will have to communicate this to her at some point, I'm just irrationally afraid of the possible reactions I might get.

Slick · « **Reply #742 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 12:45 »

It is a weird situation. My fear would be saying 'look we can't fool around OK' and she'd just act like it wasn't anything serious and she was just joking and man why'd you have to get like that whatever I was only foolin', making you look like the silly lonely single guy with a distorted perspective and her the attached friend who's been unjustly accosted.
So I can see why a person would want to avoid that conversation (I certainly ~~would~~ have). Just keep your wits about you and carry around a picture of lemonparty in your pocket so you can look at it in case of emergency.
I mean I guess having it in your pocket won't do you any good if your pants are off, but I guess if it's hit that stage you're kind of fucked anyways.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #743 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 13:50 »

All that would do is make me laugh in what should be an awkward/serious moment. I'll hit up rotten.com and see if I can find that picture of the dude whose organs barely fit in his skin.

Slick · « **Reply #744 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 14:05 »

Man OK now I really hope you're just mackin' it with that lady and start giggling and then she's like 'why are you laughing' and then you just whip out the lemonparty picture and then everything goes really quiet and she looks you in the eyes for a second and then looks away and you don't catch each others eyes directly again save a few awkward quick-glance-away moments and then she straightens her shirt and leaves without a word.

ackblom12 · « **Reply #745 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 14:06 »

Or gets an excited look in her eyes...

Dimmukane · « **Reply #746 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 14:11 »

Knowing her, she'd be all like "What is that? (pause) What the hell?! Where on earth do you find these things, Sean? Here, let me go put it on the fridge..."

That's an idea, actually. Whip these things out to distract her instead of myself.

Jace · « **Reply #747 on:** 13 Apr 2009, 23:38 »

Hey, fuckers getting play, send those girls my way. I have been the guy that the girl has cheated on her boyfriend with at least 3 times. I am never phased, but usually I don't know the person, so I'm okay with it. Also, I am sometimes a terrible person.

MrBlu · « **Reply #748 on:** 14 Apr 2009, 00:06 »

Congratulations. You're officially a member of G.O.D.S. (Guys On Di' Side).

Jace · « **Reply #749 on:** 14 Apr 2009, 00:39 »

I mean, maybe I am a bad person, but I'm totally not above sleeping with a chick even if I know she has a boyfriend, fiancee, or husband. Like, unless he is my friend, what do I care if the girl is into me? I'm not going to actively go after girls who are taken, but if it happens, who am I to deny them? Its not like I'm constantly swimming in a sea of vag.

Eventually I'll have a relationship with a girl that lasts more than three months and I might figure out what is wrong with my above statement.

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Author Topic: Please, Just Let Me Die Already (Read 273616 times)

ackblom12