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Author Topic: Please, Just Let Me Die Already  (Read 267916 times)

Jace

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #800 on: 22 Apr 2009, 08:13 »

Man, fuck you guys and your long term relationships.
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WriterofAllWrongs

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #801 on: 22 Apr 2009, 08:33 »

I don't see it that way. I see nice guys as guys who are just outwardly polite, think of others, and are generally awesome. I know nice guys who are still verbal about their sexuality, but they aren't condescending, creepy, etc. about it. Basically the ones who make you uncomfortable about sex are not nice, but you can still be a nice guy and talk about sex.

This is probably because sarcasm and candidness is charming.  If a person feels comfortable enough to talk to you in a way they want to, but at the same time a way that is friendly and clever, then you naturally warm up to them because it seems like knowing them is easy.  No one likes an asshole, but a nice dick always seems to be welcome from what I can see.
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Jace

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #802 on: 22 Apr 2009, 08:41 »

but a nice dick always seems to be welcome from what I can see.

I think you want the sexual frustration thread.
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Dazed

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #803 on: 22 Apr 2009, 12:52 »

So, I broke up with the girl. It was awkward and shitty, and she didn't take it very well, but that was pretty much inevitable. Thanks for the counsel, relationship thread.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #804 on: 22 Apr 2009, 17:17 »

Just wondering, how can you tell if a relationship has the potential for a sexual element? As in are there common signs or is it just something you know, because apparently people have been attracted to me in the before now but I have completly missed it, and its getting more and more common, any advice guys?
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Slick

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #805 on: 22 Apr 2009, 18:15 »

stick it in her pooper  8-)
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #806 on: 22 Apr 2009, 18:27 »

Just wondering, how can you tell if a relationship has the potential for a sexual element?

When she lets you stick your dick in her.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #807 on: 22 Apr 2009, 18:43 »

Yeah it is kind of difficult to figure out when someone is interested in you. This used to be a massive source of stress in my life until I assumed some measure of worth in myself (like, not trying to dig at anybody with low self esteem, I used to have absolute shit self-image and assumed no one liked me is all) and then it became all kinds of fun and interesting trying to figure out and flirting/chatting with people and if someone is not into you then whatever, that is life, and you are not a bad person for assuming that someone might be in to you.
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KvP

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #808 on: 22 Apr 2009, 18:55 »

I like nice boys who are sarcastic. It's like being a bad boy minus the bit where they're an asshole.
Oh that's nice.

how bout a boy that generally a bad boy but is nice pretty much only to you?
Dan Savage wrote about this yesterday!
Quote from: Dan "the man" Savage
people who are romantically involved with assholes come in for a higher degree of scrutiny. A person with an asshole friend is regarded as tolerant and/or indulgent and/or foolish. But a person with an asshole boyfriend is viewed as having a character flaw. Or several: lousy taste in men, the wrong kind of masochistic streak, low self-esteem, abuse issues, etc.
« Last Edit: 22 Apr 2009, 19:03 by KvP »
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #809 on: 22 Apr 2009, 19:12 »

Basically the ones who make you uncomfortable about sex are not nice, but you can still be a nice guy and talk about sex.

There's a huge difference between making an awkward situation between someone you consider attractive or you actually like, and a person who almost deserves it, whether it's in the form of a friendly joke or obscurely telling someone to fuck off; while this is self explanotory, but I do ocassionaly fuck, in a verbal sense, with people who are so oblivious to sex. As cliché as it is, you know at least one person who's just clueless and shy. In my case, there's a girl who's still prude, I make a habit of asking her things I normally don't ask girls, but she laughs and punches me. I suppose it's different when you're older though.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #810 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:17 »

Hey guys, I need your help again!  :| So despite all the advice I received a couple pages back about dropping the emotionally unavailable dude I've been "seeing" for over a year, I continued to do so anyway against better judgment. Even though he's made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship, we still enjoy each other's company... so I have the feeling that we're both using each other out of convenience.

I still beat myself up because I think I handled confronting him about our relationship improperly. I tried my hardest to avoid using the words "We have to talk..." or bringing up "the talk" while drunk and emotional, but I did both. It is also difficult to move on even though I have options (being single or pursuing this new guy I met recently) because I'm selfish/cowardly. I hate to see him go, but I'm also aware that I'm missing out by sticking around.

So I've been hanging out with this new guy (who I met, ironically enough, off the internets!), and I feel guilty about being attracted to him, since I'm still technically with the old guy. Also, it's a longshot to say that things would work out any differently with a new guy... should I even be considering it? Cheating is not an option for me EVER, even if the guy I'm seeing is a bum. A female friend of mine suggested that I go ahead and makeout with the new guy and ask questions later, but that doesn't sound like a fantastic idea to me...  :-P. What's the advice for me, guys?
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Emaline

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #811 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:43 »

Wait. What?

Aren't you the girl who was dicking around with a dude, but he wasn't emotionally there, and you guys weren't actually dating, thus the need to have "the talk"?

You aren't technically with anyone, darling. You are technically single.

So go make out with this dude! And ditch the emotionally unavailable dude.

(But don't really just start making out with the new guy. Start off slow, and let him know you are interested, but not by saying "I want to sleep with you and hope you will like me and be emotionally available to me." Infact, build up a decent emotional relationship, then fuck him.*)


*this is my take on relationships lately. I've been wanting to try it(as opposed to fucking everything and seeing what stays around), and see if it works. Is this doing it right?



Also, recently I went to a show with a dude. Dude was rude and annoying and ditched me after the first band. Now dude won't stop texting me. All weekend he texted me. I responded to maybe two with really short one word answers. He keeps texting me today. I've resonded to one. He just sent me another saying that he was eating. WTF I do not care if you are eating! How do I get rid of this dude with out pissing him off?
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Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #812 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:44 »

kill him?
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Ballard

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #813 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:50 »

Tell him straight up that he was rude, annoying, and you're not interested in seeing him again?

why do people think this is complicated
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Tyler

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #814 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:50 »

Stop worrying. Just do what you want to, and be clear about what you are doing with who you are doing it with.
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Emaline

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #815 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:52 »

How do I get rid of this dude with out pissing him off?
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Tyler

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #816 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:54 »

See someone else.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #817 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:57 »

Lise, this guy is obviously bringing you down, so just cut him off. You may enjoy his company when you're with him, but it's not really fair to you. And if you're feeling things for new guy, go for it. I agree with Emaline, technically, I don't see how you're in a relationship with dude-that-is-a-drag.

Emaline - Ask him why he ditched you and now sees the reason to tell you every little thing about his life.
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redglasscurls

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #818 on: 27 Apr 2009, 10:58 »

Emaline- What are the risks involved in pissing him off? Is he a particularly easily angered person?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #819 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:11 »

Lise, just tell emotionally unavailable guy that you've enjoyed your time together but you're looking for a committed, emotional relationship, which isn't something he wants. Then go ask the new guy out. If the new guy also turns out to be emotionally unavailable, you've got to ask yourself why you're drawn to men that can't give you what you want out of a relationship.
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Emaline

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #820 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:20 »

I am drawn to emotionally unavailable men because they don't add more drama to my life, and are there to scold me for being childish. These are things I like.

But I also don't mind just fucking a dude.



Anyway, I don't want to piss him off because, other than ditching me, he seemed like he really liked me and I don't want to hurt him,and I know what its like to really like someone who doesn't care for you, and for them to be blunt with you. It really stings. So, because I am pretty fucked up, I would rather not hurt the dude and just make him go away.

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redglasscurls

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #821 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:22 »

Ok, so you are more trying not to hurt him than not piss him off. Just be friends speech time?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #822 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:27 »

i'd rather get a kick in the balls and a slap in the face than the fucking friends speech.

maybe that's just me though, i don't know.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #823 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:29 »

Seriously? I feel like it would be better to know that she is just not interested in you that way but thinks you're an alright dude instead of getting violently rejected and leaving you wondering what on earth you managed to do to deserve that.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #824 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:32 »

I would much rather get the friend speech than to be kicked in the crotch. Being kicked in the crotch has to be one of the more atrocious pains I have experienced in my life. I appreciate hyperbole and all, but no. Just no. I would not associate having someone I went on a date thing with once explaining that it didn't really suit their fancy with stabbing and radiating agony in my testicles. On that note, I would skip the friends thing, and just say you're not interested. That is it. Done.

Seriously, there is a whole lot of pussyfooting around shit in this threat, and it is almost always more effective to be direct about shit.
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Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #825 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:37 »

Seriously? I feel like it would be better to know that she is just not interested in you that way but thinks you're an alright dude instead of getting violently rejected and leaving you wondering what on earth you managed to do to deserve that.

well, when literally every single girl you have ever expressed interest in in your entire life (believe it or not, this is not hyperbole) has given you the friend speech, it gets to the point where you would prefer almost anything over hearing that shit again.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #826 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:37 »

THIS THREAD IS HEREBY ON NOTICE


I have been informed that the quality of posts in this thread are lacking. Put some thought into your posts or this thread is goin' bye bye.
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Slick

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #827 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:49 »

Seriously? I feel like it would be better to know that she is just not interested in you that way but thinks you're an alright dude instead of getting violently rejected and leaving you wondering what on earth you managed to do to deserve that.

well, when literally every single girl you have ever expressed interest in in your entire life (believe it or not, this is not hyperbole) has given you the friend speech, it gets to the point where you would prefer almost anything over hearing that shit again.

Yeah, the friend speech can feel pretty fuckin' awful if you've had it a few times. Not saying it's a bad thing on principle, I mean, it's a bad situation flat-out, but that friend speech is pretty damn infuriatin' you need more than half the fingers of one hand to count how many times it's happened.
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redglasscurls

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #828 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:51 »

I have to say that never occurred to me... I've only had to give the just friends speech once, now I'm hoping he wouldn't have preferred a kick in the nuts.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #829 on: 27 Apr 2009, 11:54 »

Don't worry about it; really it's a messy situation when one party is interested and the other isn't and there's no clean way to get away from it. Just because someone would rather a kick in the nuts doesn't mean they'd enjoy it.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #830 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:04 »

Honestly he really deserved the nut kick- he had started sending me phone pictures of his erect dick and I barely knew him.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #831 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:10 »

See that is not 'just friends' talk that is 'just WAIT WHAT DUUUUUDE LIKE WHOA DON'T FUCKIN' DO THAT SHIT MAN' talk.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #832 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:26 »

That's around the point where I'd try to cut off all contact and talking entirely.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #833 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:31 »

That is a terrible use of the 'just friends' talk.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #834 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:37 »

I was not trying to make an enemy of someone creepy enough to send dickpix!
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #835 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:44 »

Relationship thread, it's just not working out. I mean, you're going to be locked soon, and I've got a lot going on in my life right now. Plus, I've met someone else. She's really cool. I think you'd like her. But I still really value our friendship, and I totally want to keep in touch. Well I guess that's all I have to say for now relationship thread. I'm really sorry about this, and I really do want to try to be friends. I've got to go now because I'm meeting that other girl for coffee.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #836 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:52 »

hey, I kinda like this really sweet and cute girl in my class. I'm a shyguy and she's kinda crazy (hanners is barely an exageration.) We're going to the same college next year and she'll have an appartment near mine. We're already good friends and all. what should I do? she already gave me a few just friends hints when we started as friends but that was almost two years ago. (Hey, at least I'm not asking /b/ what to do)
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #837 on: 27 Apr 2009, 12:55 »

Ask her out.

On a date.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #838 on: 27 Apr 2009, 13:27 »

I'm a shyguy


Wait.... like the character from Mario?
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #839 on: 27 Apr 2009, 15:46 »

I was not trying to make an enemy of someone creepy enough to send dickpix!


Yeah, agreed. Honesty is great and all, but sometimes you just need to worry about escaping the crazy person.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #840 on: 27 Apr 2009, 17:55 »

Honestly he really deserved the nut kick- he had started sending me phone pictures of his erect dick and I barely knew him.

hold on hold on, i'm writing this down, no dick pics to girls you don't know? as a rule of thumb, how long should a guy wait to send dick pics? after the first date too soon?

Back on topic though, the "lets just be friends" speech is a great way to lose a friend. It leaves a guy wondering what the real reason is that you don't like him. Its better to be honest and say "i don't want to date you because i don't have any feelings for you and don't find you attractive." At least then he won't resent you for a perceived lie.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #841 on: 27 Apr 2009, 18:18 »

Sometimes, that isn't true though.

Sometimes, I am super attracted to someone, but the chemistry isn't there, so I don't feel anything thing other than friendly feelings towards them. Sometimes, I am very attracted to someone's personallity, but am otherwise shallow and don't want to date them. Sometimes, I am attracted to someone both physically and mentally, but don't want to date them. Sometimes, people are just better off as friends.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #842 on: 27 Apr 2009, 19:24 »

I think that's true and so you should use the real reason, the one that's more specific than "lets just be friends" (which, to be honest, isn't even a reason really). I think it's also true that just saying you want to be friends and nothing more can in fact lead to resentment and misunderstandings and such. Probably best to be a bit more specific if you actually intend to stay friends with the person.
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Emaline

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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #843 on: 27 Apr 2009, 19:56 »

Once upon a time I was fooling around with two guys. I wanted to date them both. Guy A told me he was only interested in me as a friend, and never gave me a real reason as to why. Guy B told me that he wanted to stay friends because I was too fat for him. Guess which one I am still friends with and talk to everyday. I consider him one of my best friends ever.












Guy A. I spent an hour crying about it, then realized he was a really good friend and there for me and I should be happy with that. And I am.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #844 on: 27 Apr 2009, 20:07 »

Moral of the story: while the truth is usually the right option, some people don't have the emotional fortitude to handle it.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #845 on: 27 Apr 2009, 20:17 »

The only time I ever gave the friend speech was to a friend who decided I was a good rebound and I was all hell no. He's still my friend and happily involved with someone else and I am still chronically single.


SEE, I COULD HAVE HAD KISSES BUT NOOOOOOOOOO.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #846 on: 27 Apr 2009, 21:14 »

hold on hold on, i'm writing this down, no dick pics to girls you don't know? as a rule of thumb, how long should a guy wait to send dick pics? after the first date too soon?

So no dick pics to girls you don't know, also no 2AM drunk texts that say "i want to pound your pussy until 5 am" because that makes girls who were your friend before not want to be your friend ever again. So um, at least I get to avoid the friend talk and just go straight to "You need to stop texting me really gross things" or maybe "you turn me completely off" or "wow dude that is pretty creepy and weird!" and probably "I will not ever change my mind, I will not ever sleep with you and honestly you are seriously weirding me out"
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #847 on: 28 Apr 2009, 00:59 »

"i want to pound your pussy until 5 am"

"no, I meant your cat, it peed all over my sweater. This was my favorite sweater."
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #848 on: 28 Apr 2009, 05:06 »

My cat peed on my boyfriend's sweater a couple of months ago.
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Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #849 on: 28 Apr 2009, 05:53 »

Lunchy your cat pees on anything that stays still for long enough.
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