THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 28 Mar 2024, 16:39
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 21 22 [23] 24 25 ... 45   Go Down

Author Topic: Please, Just Let Me Die Already  (Read 267970 times)

Barmymoo

  • Mentat
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,926
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1100 on: 01 Jun 2009, 09:34 »

Katie, I am sure that your linguistics major means you know a lot about language (more than I do certainly) but you need to remember that we don't actually speak the same language. My idiolect has been Americanised thanks to these forums but I'm still out-and-out English in my phraseology and sometimes I forget that words that are used over here don't even exist on the other side of the Atlantic.

That said, I didn't realise orientate really was a real word, I just used it because I like the sound of it. Also because I was poking fun at myself.
Logged
There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1101 on: 01 Jun 2009, 09:46 »

I don't mind bling because it's just a good ol' fashioned ideophone copped from other pre-existing forms of media and as such it makes a certain amount of sense as slang terms go. Conversate, however, just hits me as kinda dumb.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

calenlass

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,076
  • queefcicle!
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1102 on: 01 Jun 2009, 10:06 »

Synonyms are not the same thing as what I am talking about. I also already addressed how silly this quirk of mine is here.


This is a thread for relationships and relating to people! I was actually not trying to derail this one!
Logged
Hey everyone, I need to buy some new bookshelves. When I get back from Ikea and put them together you're all invited to the bookshelf launch party.

pwhodges

  • Admin emeritus
  • Awakened
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,241
  • I'll only say this once...
    • My home page
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1103 on: 01 Jun 2009, 13:50 »

Also I don't know if anyone else has realised this, but I am a linguistics major.

And my mother ran an English department.  :-P   As you say, language changes.  There is no point trying to resist this very much, though one may regret the loss of certain nuances - but if one looks, there are others being gained.  And we all have particular likes and dislikes - myself, I particularly dislike the use of 'aggravate' for 'annoy'.  As for 'orientate' vs 'orient', this is strongly a UK vs US thing; my background (UK Public School, Oxford University, and such-like) taught me to use 'orientate' and to feel that 'orient' was actually wrong - it is only through extended exposure to the US usage via the Internet that I am beginning to accept it.
Logged
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

Barmymoo

  • Mentat
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,926
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1104 on: 01 Jun 2009, 13:57 »

I'm seeing a possible new thread on linguistics and the differences in English between countries... any chance someone could move our posts to date to a new thread? At any rate Katie's right, let's stop linguisticing the relationship thread.
Logged
There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

ViolentDove

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,396
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1105 on: 01 Jun 2009, 16:42 »

I'm looking for some more generalised advice than specific here, I suppose. As you'll know if you've been reading all my posts diligently and taking detailed notes, I've just watched two series of Sugar Rush and it set me thinking about how people know that someone is of an orientation that would make it possible for them to orientate to you (to coin a phrase). The only way I've ever recognised that a girl is interested in dating girls is because they are... dating a girl. Obviously that makes them about as unavailable as they would be if they were straight. I'm not actually looking for a girlfriend or anything but I would like to know how people tell, generally. It's usually a fair assumption that people are straight, because it's statistically more common. How do you know when that assumption isn't correct? (Please don't say "gaydar" as if that's some kind of answer.)

Well, you can ask their friends. Or make friends with someone you know is definitely not straight (even if they have a girlfriend) and get them to take you out/introduce you to people.

Or if you're just talking about meeting people generally of the right orientation, then you can go to specific places. I can't remember if you're still at school or just off for Uni... but there's lesbian clubs/bars, drag and burlesque shows, and a few Unis over here have queer groups, which are a good way to meet people if you're at Uni.

Also the internet is really, really good for this. There are specific sites dedicated to gay/lesbian matchmaking.


 
Logged
With cake ownership set to C and cake consumption set to K, then C + K = 0.  So indeed as one consumes a cake, one simultaneously deprives oneself of cake ownership. 

Kylos

  • Obscure cultural reference
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 142
    • Myspace?
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1106 on: 03 Jun 2009, 10:09 »

I've just been called about a job interview on Monday. This is all very exciting, but it's at home, which is about 120 miles away from where I live now. If I get offered the job, there are so many things to consider. Mostly the boyfriend.
For a bit of back story, we've been together a year now, and were seeing each other for a long time before that. Recently things have been pretty strained and/or shitty between us, and i'm not entirely sure how moving 120 miles away will affect things.
I guess i'm weighing up having a lot more money against my relationship. My current job pays about £20-£40 a week and makes me feel like shit, even though I kinda enjoy it. This new one - if I even get it - will give me a lot more disposable income, but will put me so far away from the guy I care about. I do have a car now, so I could go and see him pretty much whenever I want, but I don't know whether to just cut my losses and leave him, or try and make it work from far away.
Then there's my friends and family, who, for the most part, want me to move back. However, Gemmwah's moving into the house i'm in at the moment in july. I've been looking forward to this so much, and now in my hypothetical job-at-home world, i'm screwing this all up.

Help me, internets.
Logged
I hope we mess things up in a huge and beautiful fashion.

Pernix takes the rat and uses it as a peen sock.

Barmymoo

  • Mentat
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,926
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1107 on: 03 Jun 2009, 10:32 »

£20-40 a week is crap (also I didn't realise you were British!). I get £72 a week and I'm a part time supermarket cashier.

In terms of your boyfriend, I think even if you don't decide to go for the job you should get rid of him. Obviously I haven't met him or seen any of his good points but from what you've said lately, he seems like he is not treating you very well, not a particularly good person and not the sort of person you will choose to spend the rest of your life with.

There are four reasons people are in a relationship with someone, I would say.
  • They are in love, and they think they will stay with that person for the rest of their life
  • They are in love, and although it won't last forever they are happy at the moment
  • They are frightened of being alone, or dependent on the relationship
  • They were in love, and it used to work, but it doesn't now and they're hoping it'll go back to how it was

I'm sure there are nuances but that seems to cover most of them.
If you're with him for one of the first two, stick with it. If it's the latter two, perhaps you should leave him.

Although
Quote
Gemmwah's moving into the house i'm in at the moment in july

Don't go anywhere. Stay right there. Do whatever you can to stay. Gemm is awesome.




Oh man did I just hit on Gemm in the relationship thread oh no what will I do now everyone will think I have a crush on her what if they think I'm.... GAY oh god quick quick edit the post

Seriously though, they are two separate issues: whether to move from a (frankly terribly paid) job to a better one, and whether to stay with the boyfriend. If it's really worth working at, you'll make it work. Could he move with you?
Logged
There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

Kylos

  • Obscure cultural reference
  • **
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 142
    • Myspace?
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1108 on: 03 Jun 2009, 10:54 »

I'm pretty sure it's a combination of options 2 and 3.
As far as I can see, nothing's really changed apart from that he's pretty much given up on leaving the house. He doesn't mind if I can't pay the rent, pay the bills and he buys food and cigarettes for me when I can't afford them myself, but you can't buy love.
He does make me laugh, and we have a good time when we do things together (which is less often that i'd hope), but even that's not a reason to stay with someone.
He doesn't hit me, or in is any way abusive towards me, but we get in huge arguements about little things. He would do anything in his power to stop me getting the tattoo I want because "tattoos are dumb", and lord help me if I like a band he doesn't.
He refuses to make an effort with my friends, to the point where he'll pretend to be asleep to avoid talking to them, but he's admitted to not being able to handle meeting new people.

I've always known we wouldn't last forever and I think I know what I have to do, but it's gonna be really hard because i'm sure I still care about the fucker.
Logged
I hope we mess things up in a huge and beautiful fashion.

Pernix takes the rat and uses it as a peen sock.

benji

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,063
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1109 on: 03 Jun 2009, 11:11 »

It's possible to care about someone and not be in a sexual/romantic relationship with them. This honestly sounds pretty unhealthy to me. He sounds like he doesn't have much respect for you. He might not actually be abusive, but if he can't make at least some effort with your friends or belittles you for having different taste in music, that's a pretty clear warning sign. I would say, if you get the job, take it as an opportunity at a clean break. Keep in touch with him if you want, but it sounds like this is not a healthy relationship for you.
Logged
This signature is intentionally left blank.

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1110 on: 03 Jun 2009, 12:37 »

This dude sounds like me circa 2003. That is not a compliment. DTMF.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1111 on: 03 Jun 2009, 12:40 »

Oh, wait, I forgot: I didn't steal things. This guy's worse.


Again, DTMF. (No, I don't mean the telecommunication signal)
« Last Edit: 03 Jun 2009, 12:42 by Alex C »
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Barmymoo

  • Mentat
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,926
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1112 on: 03 Jun 2009, 12:48 »

What do you mean?
Logged
There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

snalin

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,540
  • You may Baste me
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1113 on: 03 Jun 2009, 12:50 »

Reading a bit too much Savage Love lately?

Dump The MotherFucker

(... I think)
Logged
I am a cowboy / on a steel horse I ride
I am wanted / Dead or alive

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1114 on: 03 Jun 2009, 12:58 »

It's not possible to read too much Savage Love.

Seriously, the dude described in this thread sounds pretty self-centered. He ignores her friends and slags on things she likes and commits petty thievery. She even said he seems to do this sort of thing because in his own mind he's some kind of provocateur. She should dump him; if she finds out she misses him she could probably pick up a similar model without too much effort, since guys like that tend to be chronically single.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Inlander

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,152
  • Hug your local saintly donkey.
    • Instant Life Substitute
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1115 on: 03 Jun 2009, 18:06 »

Yeah seriously, it seems like the situation you're in at the moment is: "Shitty job, shitty boyfriend." This shouldn't require too much thinking about. Change is hard even when it has to be made, and the natural instinct is often to take the path of least resistance and not make a change at all, but that won't make you happy. At this point your boyfriend's feelings don't come into it: if he's being a dick, then he's going to get his feelings hurt. That's something he has to learn in life if he's ever going to stop being a dick. Act for yourself and for yourself alone, and grab the chance that life has given you to get out of a bad situation. Ditch the boyfriend, take the job.
Logged

Skibas_clavicle

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,278
  • Mo' money, mo' problem.
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1116 on: 05 Jun 2009, 13:10 »

I can't believe I had sex to Christian Death. I mean, I'm sorry, I couldn't find the sex thread, so I just had to express that feeling here. CHRISTIAN fucking DEATH. I actually don't think I've laughed so hard in my life when I found out what it was.
« Last Edit: 05 Jun 2009, 13:23 by Skibas_clavicle »
Logged
I like the way you work it.

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,683
  • juicer
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1117 on: 07 Jun 2009, 18:03 »

So the Girl loves me but is considering getting married to her ex-boyfriend/my best friend who is currently on uneven ground.  I mean she is really on the fence about it and seems to be leaning against it, but the fact that she accepted the offer in the first place has me really worried about a future without her in it.  The only reason she was able to give me for it was that she is nervous about starting a new relationship with me, but she even acknowledges that she might be doing this because she feels she has to and not because she wants to.  She has even toyed with the notion of not marrying him and starting a secret relationship with me (normally I would be against this but we are seriously emotionally involved with each other and do not want to hurt him, it's going to be really hard for her not to cheat if she goes through with this).  Would I be in the wrong to try and dissuade her from making such an impulsive decision?

He knows I have feelings for her and basically proposed to her as soon as he realized this.  His previous long-term relationship ended when that girl cheated on him with is then-best-friend, which is what he thinks is happening despite them being broken up for a month and the fact that we haven't made our relationship physical yet purely for his sake.  We tried to be open about what was going on and he immediately reacted negatively.  There might not be any way for us to salvage all of the relationships that the three of us have with each other.

For those of you not aware of the situation from previous posts of mine in this thread, this segment is to get you up to speed.  He is in Arizona for school right now until at least next April.  He gets a one week break every six weeks.  He can barely afford to fly her out there, she would get married and come back the same day or possibly the following day, which is also her birthday.  Then they would not see each other for at least 13 weeks, as he can't afford to visit on all of his breaks. The reason they are/were exes is because he cheated and the girl he did it with was jealous enough to cause 3000$ in body damage to the Girl's car, which she had to get sell and is now working 60 hour weeks to pay off debts.  In essence, after causing her considerable strife, he wants her to stay committed to him through a long-distance relationship. 


TL;DR: They might get married; if they do it is for the wrong reasons and reeks of insincerity, neither me nor the Girl are going to pretend like there's nothing between us after the fact, how do I ensure that this marriage doesn't happen?  I am tempted to not consider his feelings because he is being rather irrational and is using his silver tongue to get her to join him in being irrational.  She is not excited at all and is in fact dreading it.

Sorry for adding a bunch of drama to the thread, but this is kind of big.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

nobo

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,059
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1118 on: 07 Jun 2009, 18:55 »

With this much drama I think the only thing you can do is kick down the church door during their vows, pick her up over your shoulder, and ride into the sunset on horseback.
Logged
Well yes but (sorry andy) she doesn't look half as fucking bad ass as this motherfucker in Poland.

Dude is hardcore.

Lines

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,234
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1119 on: 07 Jun 2009, 20:33 »

What Nobo said.

Actually, if this was a friend of mine, I would have smacked her upside the head and asked her if she was insane. From what you're saying, she will not be happy and that will lead to divorce and even more debt. So...yeah, dissuade her and talk common sense into her.
Logged
:grumpypuss: :grumpypuss: :grumpypuss:

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1120 on: 07 Jun 2009, 21:19 »

No, actually, you should kick it old-school and re-enact The Graduate, particularly the part where the relationship (in the short term, at least) remains ambiguous despite the aborted wedding.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1121 on: 07 Jun 2009, 21:21 »

You should counter-propose to her. It's what they'll least expect.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

Lines

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,234
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1122 on: 07 Jun 2009, 21:24 »

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Logged
:grumpypuss: :grumpypuss: :grumpypuss:

Sox

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,390
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1123 on: 08 Jun 2009, 03:20 »

You tell them both exactly what you just told us. That guy is an adult right? Take off the kid-gloves and let him deal with it like one.
I'm always the last person to suggest stepping on somebody elses relationship, I think staying out of the way is the only thing guys owe each other. But in this case, I don't think he deserves your restraint. Say your piece, and leave the ball in their court. You'll get a negative reaction, but there's really no other option at this point.
Seriously, call them both as soon as you've read these replies.
Logged

benji

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,063
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1124 on: 08 Jun 2009, 07:00 »

Honestly, your friends have a really fucked up view of marriage. He seems to think that marrying her will prevent her from sleeping with you, like it's some sort of magic amulet. She seems to think that making a (supposedly) life long commitment to someone she already intends to cheat on is a smaller emotional risk then starting a new relationship. Both of these are really stupid, and will only lead to an unhappy relationship. Do as Sox says: say your peace, say it honestly and completely. When you're done, leave it up to them. If they do this, consider that matter settled and walk away. Honestly, it shouldn't be you to do it. It would be better coming from a friend with more distance. But you have no control over that, and if you're the only one available to point out how stupid this is, then you've got to do it.

Yes, you will leave the old friendships in shambles one way or another. At this point, there's no way around that.
Logged
This signature is intentionally left blank.

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,683
  • juicer
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1125 on: 08 Jun 2009, 07:34 »

I have to wait a little bit to call him, he might not even answer until Thursday.  Normally I could leave a message or text, but he has Boost Mobile and does not get my texts and can't actually access his voicemail because of how bad the reception is. His phone doesn't even register all of his missed calls. I'm worried he won't even listen.  When I tried to explain my side of things last time, he just wrote me off and said, "Well that's okay, because we're getting married." Either way, it is something that I have to do, I just don't know when. 

Don't get me wrong, he's not a sleaze, and she wouldn't cheat.  She knows she wants to try things with me, but she would never cheat while in a relationship with anybody until it was broken off, which he is trying to use against me by having her commit for life.  It would just be very difficult for her to ignore what we already have. If anyone has any other ideas, please put them out there.  I have to wait a little bit before acting, so any additional help would be much appreciated.

In case this information matters, this is supposed to be happening on the 18th.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

pwhodges

  • Admin emeritus
  • Awakened
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,241
  • I'll only say this once...
    • My home page
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1126 on: 08 Jun 2009, 07:54 »

Hmm.  I would say walk away now.  What's between them is out of your hands; and how much effort do you want to put into building a relationship with a girl who has already chosen not to stay with you? and how stable could you expect such a relationship to become?  If she comes back to you of her own volition, fine - but don't try to change her mind, because that will always leave the uncertainty of whether it's what she really wanted.
Logged
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,683
  • juicer
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1127 on: 08 Jun 2009, 08:09 »

She hasn't chosen not to stay with me, she's thinking about choosing (but still has not actually decided, she thinks she might change her mind because of her feelings for me) to be married so she will have reached a milestone in her life.  She doesn't know what she wants or expects from this, so I'm trying to point out all the things she doesn't want.  And I would be willing to put a lot of effort into a relationship with her, which is more than I can say about him.  She has been carrying the relationship for the entire 2 and a half years, I've put more effort into just being her friend than he has into being with her.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

pwhodges

  • Admin emeritus
  • Awakened
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 17,241
  • I'll only say this once...
    • My home page
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1128 on: 08 Jun 2009, 08:17 »

Sorry, I placed more weight on the second phrase below than the first:

but is considering getting married
Quote
the fact that she accepted the offer

So it's still appropriate to explain what a silly decision it would be, and to say how it would be better to drop him and come to you - but then leave her to decide, and continue accordingly.
Logged
"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

Dimmukane

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,683
  • juicer
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1129 on: 08 Jun 2009, 08:40 »

I know that the only reason she said yes in the first place is because of his natural charisma.  I am one of a very small number of people for whom it doesn't work on, and even then, he's used it on me a couple times in the past which I now recognize.  He has the ability to get all of his friends behind him on something and has done so before.  He's essentially the head of a large clique, which admittedly sometimes feels like a cult.  Like Charles Manson, except he's not actually crazy and doesn't want to kill people.  He knows how much control he has over people and has tried not to have anything like that happen, but should she come back to me, I can probably forget about most of the people I met through him.  Which I am willing to accept; most of those people were never more than casual acquaintances.  I know that probably paints a bad picture of him, but I've always been outside that sphere of influence.

But it makes me a little wary of what I should say to him, because he is more than capable of using it against me.
Logged
Quote from: Johnny C
all clothes reflect identity constructs, destroy these constructs by shedding your clothes and sending pictures of the process to the e-mail address linked under my avatar

calenlass

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,076
  • queefcicle!
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1130 on: 08 Jun 2009, 12:55 »

Guys I would really like some friends who don't suck. I miss my peeps from the internet, but you guys are not that convenient for D&D or drinking buddies or whatever! The people I hang out with right now drive me nuts. Some of them are passive aggressive. Most of them are melodramatic. Most of them can't stand some of the others, except in large groups, and even if they could be civil just don't make the effort. Most of them have known me for years and yet still look for ulterior motives in what I say and do, or expect me to pick sides in their stupid hissy fits.

I am in classes again, so this helps me meet people, except that I seem to have gotten all the shy people this time, or in the case of my comp class they are all freshman graduated from high school in may. I mean I guess that is better than me being a caricature no one really wants to talk to (that happened last time). And I still have that job, and I have made two friends through that, but one doesn't work there anymore and lives far far away and the other is currently in a bind with his ex-girlfriend and some... complications. I guess I could try OKCupid again, but that was a little bit awkward and creepy.

So basically I guess what I am asking is: when you are broke and have no free time except sunday nights from 5pm to 10pm, how do you meet people? Or should I just suck it up until things change?




*Part two will be: How do I meet people and have them not want to date-and-marry me? That happens a lot. It is getting old.
Logged
Hey everyone, I need to buy some new bookshelves. When I get back from Ikea and put them together you're all invited to the bookshelf launch party.

Tyler

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 804
  • SKULLTOPUS
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1131 on: 08 Jun 2009, 13:13 »

I dont want to date or marry you.
Logged
Quote from: Lunchbox
It is not wussy. There are orifices being assaulted all over the shop.

snalin

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,540
  • You may Baste me
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1132 on: 08 Jun 2009, 15:05 »

So hi thread.

I'm not quite sure about this. I've asked cute girl out twice: first the "wanna go get a coffee?" method, then the "want to go study together?" method. She has declined both times, but the first time she was all like "oh, we should see about that some other time, I'm really fucking exhausted with school right now" and the other time she said she was getting sick and didn't really have the energy. And, man, I'm not even sure that I've gotten my intentions through. I could go with the OWW-way, but I'm too god damned shy.

What I'm asking, when you were young and shy and wanted to do stuff with a girl/boy, what method did you use, and what method worked?
Logged
I am a cowboy / on a steel horse I ride
I am wanted / Dead or alive

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1133 on: 08 Jun 2009, 15:28 »

I asked people out and got turned down about as often as not.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Lines

  • Awakened
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 10,234
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1134 on: 08 Jun 2009, 17:37 »

Last time I asked a guy out I just said, "Hey, what are you doing? Come do fun stuff with me!" Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Logged
:grumpypuss: :grumpypuss: :grumpypuss:

Dazed

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,338
  • Straight outta Boston
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1135 on: 08 Jun 2009, 17:45 »

I'm usually just pretty straightforward about it. Just like, "Hey, so I think you're pretty attractive/smart/fun/cool etc etc. (applicable adjectives may vary). Want to get some dinner or catch a show some time?"

Sometimes it works, other times it does not.
Logged
I would probably be getting laid right now if it weren't for the Jews

nobo

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,059
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1136 on: 08 Jun 2009, 18:20 »



I think I may have missed something along the way, but what makes this girl worth all this trouble?
Logged
Well yes but (sorry andy) she doesn't look half as fucking bad ass as this motherfucker in Poland.

Dude is hardcore.

Inlander

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,152
  • Hug your local saintly donkey.
    • Instant Life Substitute
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1137 on: 08 Jun 2009, 19:34 »

She has declined both times, but the first time she was all like "oh, we should see about that some other time, I'm really fucking exhausted with school right now" and the other time she said she was getting sick and didn't really have the energy.

Sorry to tell you, but in my experience when a girl starts talking in vagaries such as "some other time", it means she's you down gently instead of just coming out and saying "Sorry, not interested."
Logged

NeverQuiteGoth

  • Curry sauce
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 263
    • The Raiden Saga
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1138 on: 08 Jun 2009, 23:11 »

How can I find places to go to meet--oh hell what's the point.

*facedesk* *facedesk* *facedesk*

There is no answer to this. It just sucks feeling so helpless to change a hermitian existence.

Ignore me please.
Logged
Quote
Yes, thank goodness we live in an enlightened society where we're horribly sexist to both men and woman in equal measure. >.<

Vendetagainst

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,250
  • Too orangey for crows
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1139 on: 08 Jun 2009, 23:36 »

Relationship thread! I have a few big issues with relationships.
First of all, most of the women I am in frequent contact with are in their twenties to thirties, which would be, obviously, completely fine with me except that it makes reciprocation of any feelings I might have or develop fairly unlikely. I go to an all-male high school (which sucks for this and a myriad of other reasons) and therefore rarely encounter girls my own age. More importantly, I find I'm rarely attracted to girls my age on anything more than a physical level. I also get prohibitively self-conscious when I'm talking to women, sometimes to the extent that I won't even approach them with the assumption that I'm wasting my time.

Solve all my problems plzkthx.
Logged
Quote from: Sox
I think it's because your 'age' is really only determined by how exasperated you seem when you have to stand up.

Quote from: KharBevNor
PEW PEW PEW FUCK OFF SPACE

Tyler

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 804
  • SKULLTOPUS
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1140 on: 08 Jun 2009, 23:51 »

Fuck everything you can
Logged
Quote from: Lunchbox
It is not wussy. There are orifices being assaulted all over the shop.

Vendetagainst

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,250
  • Too orangey for crows
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1141 on: 08 Jun 2009, 23:57 »

The only fundamental flaw in this statement is that, as I have hinted, I am having problems reaching that end.
Logged
Quote from: Sox
I think it's because your 'age' is really only determined by how exasperated you seem when you have to stand up.

Quote from: KharBevNor
PEW PEW PEW FUCK OFF SPACE

snalin

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,540
  • You may Baste me
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1142 on: 09 Jun 2009, 04:38 »

How can I find places to go to meet--oh hell what's the point.

*facedesk* *facedesk* *facedesk*

There is no answer to this. It just sucks feeling so helpless to change a hermitian existence.

Prostitutes?
Logged
I am a cowboy / on a steel horse I ride
I am wanted / Dead or alive

Beren

  • Curry sauce
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 287
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1143 on: 09 Jun 2009, 04:56 »

There needs to be some type of device that will tell me how serious someone wants to get. Like a Geiger counter for love.
Logged
All About Strange Beasts of the Present

Barmymoo

  • Mentat
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,926
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1144 on: 09 Jun 2009, 07:24 »

I was talking to The Boy about this issue and we decided we need emotional plasma screens which tell the world what we are thinking.

It would solve a lot of problems.

Ironically, The Boy either didn't realise I was asking him out or did realise and was attempting to tell me without telling me. Either way, our communication failed.
Logged
There's this really handy "other thing" I'm going to write as a footnote to my abstract that I can probably explore these issues in. I think I'll call it my "dissertation."

snalin

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,540
  • You may Baste me
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1145 on: 09 Jun 2009, 07:59 »

I'm trying to learn the short version of theatre history from the antique till 1900, and how to analyze plays and performances. I don't really know enough, pretty much because I hate the teacher and because this class was made like last year and we are the first ever to have it and no books exits whatsoever. Goddammit.
Logged
I am a cowboy / on a steel horse I ride
I am wanted / Dead or alive

calenlass

  • Born in a Nalgene bottle
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,076
  • queefcicle!
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1146 on: 09 Jun 2009, 12:59 »

Tyler you should come hang out in Atlanta for a couple of days. You don't have to stay for long (I wouldn't ask anyone to), but there is stuff to do and I need friends.
Logged
Hey everyone, I need to buy some new bookshelves. When I get back from Ikea and put them together you're all invited to the bookshelf launch party.

Tyler

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 804
  • SKULLTOPUS
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1147 on: 09 Jun 2009, 13:22 »

I would so do this.
Logged
Quote from: Lunchbox
It is not wussy. There are orifices being assaulted all over the shop.

Reed

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,101
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1148 on: 09 Jun 2009, 14:26 »

You could also come up to Ct, where there are two of us!

(I know I don't know you well, but you seem to be in a funk and maybe some new webcest could help? Plus, you seem like an awesome person, and I promise I wouldn't mistake friendship for something else)
Logged
Quote from: meebo
[22:49] Quietus: I'm personally imagining a white supremacist locked in his basement, furtively listening to Parliament on headphones
[22:49] Quietus: "Oh, lawd, why must them coons rock me so"

Tyler

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 804
  • SKULLTOPUS
Re: The Relationship, Or Lack Thereof, Advice Thread
« Reply #1149 on: 09 Jun 2009, 14:48 »

Reed is totally creepin on you.
Logged
Quote from: Lunchbox
It is not wussy. There are orifices being assaulted all over the shop.
Pages: 1 ... 21 22 [23] 24 25 ... 45   Go Up