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[The Joker]

Steal Duane Allman's motorcycle.  Because then, not only would Duane Allman (probably) still be alive, I'd have a kickass vintage motorcycle that used to be Duane Allman's (or I would make millions on eBay).

[J-cob9000]

i'd go back to october 21, 2003 and hide all the knives in elliott smith's house

was going to something along these lines.

[Der Turm, der Leute frass]

I'd travel back to 1987 to prevent the early death of Jaco Pastorius

[iamiam]

Geez, what do you people have against people's mothers? :\

How about... I would tell Fred Durst's father that maybe he should use a condom.  Or explain to his mother how fun and awesome oral sex can be!