Topic: I finally pinpointed what's wrong with Guy Fieri (Read 20628 times)

David_Dovey · « **Reply #1 on:** 05 Apr 2009, 23:09 »

Oh yeah, cos you definitely need the ICP comparison to realise that the guy looks like a toolbag.

Because bleach blonde spiky hair, goatee and two gold earrings weren't enough.

Jace · « **Reply #2 on:** 05 Apr 2009, 23:29 »

Also that he always wears bowling shirts.
always.

Johnny C · « **Reply #3 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 00:41 »

yeah but diners drive-ins and dives is great and makes me hella hungry so who cares

Ozymandias · « **Reply #4 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 00:53 »

Yeah, I mean, I don't particularly like the dude, but there are way worse people on that channel and Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives just makes me want to get an old American car and drive up and down old route 66 eating amazing food.

Christophe · « **Reply #5 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 06:07 »

WOULD YOU RATHER: Eat something made by Guy Fieri or Bobby Flay

Avec · « **Reply #6 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 06:12 »

I know we're going to get off subject, but seriously, the only reason the Food Network is still alive is because of Alton Brown.
Oh and yes, nothing good has come from those reality TV shows. Guy Fieri was the first to win the contest, I believe.

valley_parade · « **Reply #7 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 07:07 »

Quote from: Christophe on 06 Apr 2009, 06:07

WOULD YOU RATHER: Eat something made by Guy Fieri or Bobby Flay

Depends. Flay's a bit of a beast on the grill. If I don't want anything barbecued or grilled, Fieri.

Ballard · « **Reply #8 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:02 »

Shane you're so wrong. Bobby Flay really knows his shit. His take on flavors and textures (always bold, always familiar like your family's cooking but with a twist) is one I can subscribe to, on and off the grill. Watch some Throwdown and you'll see what I mean. Guy Fieri is a two bit burger flipper who looks like a juggallo.

Johnny C · « **Reply #9 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:08 »

some days you want faraquet some days you want the MC5

Hat · « **Reply #10 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:11 »

What the fuck are you people talking about

MrBlu · « **Reply #11 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:12 »

Oh, geez that's mean.

Violent J?

I actually kind of like Guy Fieri. Sure, he does look like a "toolbag" but he seems to be a decent person. Of course, he did name his son "Hunter", but we can look past that. And his shows (D,D,Ds and Guy's Big Bite) are pretty good.

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #12 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:13 »

We're debating food network stars. I don't know if this is a new low or a new high.

Hat · « **Reply #13 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:16 »

I have not seen a single cooking show on cable tv worth a damn but to be fair 90 percent of the food channel here is british cooking shows and all their chefs are fucking twats about as qualified to tell me about cooking as any chef I've ever met in my entire life.

I am fucking down with the chef and the cook though, but that is about it unless hughie lawson is rocking something crumbed because oh my god can that man make breadcrumbs

Ballard · « **Reply #14 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:26 »

I dunno much about UK cooking shows but everyone here should try watching Nigella Lawson cook on mute.

-Karamazov- · « **Reply #15 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:28 »

Whose cooking is more likely to give you a heart attack, Paula Dean or Guy Fieri?

Also, the food network needs to stop with the reality shows and contests.

Hat · « **Reply #16 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:41 »

Quote from: Ballard on 06 Apr 2009, 08:26

I dunno much about UK cooking shows but everyone here should try watching Nigella Lawson cook on mute.

I'd edit your post to say that everyone should try watching Nigella Lawson cook dessert on mute, because she is a fucking minx when she cooks sweet things and a fucking obnoxious minger as soon as you let her near any other type of food, I don't know how this works that is just how it is.

I would have done that but it's well played out by now and actually she has some really great recipes for lazy stupid people which is basically what I look for in a celebrity chef and the cookbooks they put out.

Jace · « **Reply #17 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 08:49 »

I really like talking to the overnight chef at work because holy shit he makes some good fucking food. Quesadilla burgers. Its a whole burger wrapped in a tortilla instead of on a bun. Its got avacado, jalapenos, and red onions and it is made of deliciousness.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #18 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 10:54 »

Quote from: Ballard on 06 Apr 2009, 08:02

Shane you're so wrong. Bobby Flay really knows his shit. His take on flavors and textures (always bold, always familiar like your family's cooking but with a twist) is one I can subscribe to, on and off the grill. Watch some Throwdown and you'll see what I mean. Guy Fieri is a two bit burger flipper who looks like a juggallo.

Oh my god.

Okay we can sit there and talk about Paula Deen's early death, Alton Brown's fucking awesomeness, Nigella Lawson's tits, and Guy Fieri's hair all fuckin' day, but here is something that is not and will not be up for debate:

Bobby Flay is a twat.

Let's not even make it about his childish behavior on the original Iron Chef; that's some fuckin' water under the bridge. This is about Throwdown. This is about a show where a rich, professional chef goes to amateurs who have made their name on a beloved, often family recipe and says to them "fuck you, I bet I could make some shit in a day that's better". This is a show where these people are initially told that Food Network cares about their recipe and that they get to show it off on a cooking program for them and then get the bait and switch that is "fuck you, hahahahahahaha, this shit is all about Bobby Flay you assholes." These people did not sign up for this shit, they didn't go looking for Bobby Flay, no, it's Bobby Flay who, in the greatest arrogance known to man, has decided that he should try to be better than every one else in America and challenges people who are nobody except to their local community to see if he can tell America that he's better than them on national TV.

It's fucking awful. The only saving grace is that he loses 95% of the time. Maybe that's intentional? Maybe it's rigged so that he loses and doesn't look like he's a goddamn fuckwad? I don't know, but that doesn't really make the concept any fucking better. It just looks like he's a fucking dick who can't even accomplish that much.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #19 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 11:04 »

Having eaten at a couple of Bobby Flay's restaurants, I can safely say he's fairly mediocre. The dude has no pizzaz. It's why I hate watching him on Iron Chef, it's why I hate him in general. He's a self obsessed fuck who makes completely delicious, but very middle of the road food. There is nothing about his cuisine that elevates it, aside from the taste, but lets be real, it is not that hard to make a really good steak.

Johnny C · « **Reply #20 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 11:14 »

"it's not actually that hard to make almost anything it maybe takes a bit of practice," says the poster who only recently began to actually attempt cooking for himself

Cartilage Head · « **Reply #21 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 11:53 »

I honestly don't care about anyone on Food Network except for Alton Brown.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #22 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 11:55 »

there's a food NETWORK?!

holy crap

Ozymandias · « **Reply #23 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 12:07 »

It's pretty much the best basic cable channel, actually, with Discovery. Between those two channels, I can sit in front of the TV all day and also not feel like I'm wasting my life because I know how to make a simple syrup for making cold liquids sweeter faster or holy shit did you know that a mako shark can go 20mph?

Also, Sam, I mean, I think it's a tossup between Alton and Bourdain, but whoever wins, we also win, because they both fucking kick ass.

Bourdain is more of a Travel Channel dude, though.

Ballard · « **Reply #24 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 12:10 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 06 Apr 2009, 10:54

It's fucking awful. The only saving grace is that he loses 95% of the time. Maybe that's intentional? Maybe it's rigged so that he loses and doesn't look like he's a goddamn fuckwad?

This. It basically is a Food Network profile only with the added benefit for the cook being profiled that they get to squeal over Bobby Flay in their house.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #25 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 12:16 »

Oh well how humble and gracious Bobby Flay is to let them win so they can be on TV and say "Oh gosh, you guys, I beat Bobby Flay he's my heeeero and I beat him". He's a true gentleman.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #26 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 12:26 »

I like how No Reservations was such a hit on Travel Channel and then Food Network was all like "Oh shiiiiiiiiiit, we already made this show, didn't air it, and dumped Bourdain. Let's rerun A Cook's Tour over and over now because we suck."

KharBevNor · « **Reply #27 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 15:12 »

who the shit is guy fieri

hje looks like a shitcoick but can we at least talkj about shitcocks everyoines heard ofg

WriterofAllWrongs · « **Reply #28 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 15:52 »

I like Giada De Laurentiis pretty well, but Alton is the King of that particular network. Also Bourdain would be more fun to watch if he checked his ego a bit more, but he still runs a good show, albeit on a different network.

Alex C · « **Reply #29 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 18:15 »

Yeah, it's too bad about Guy's look, because I actually think he seems like a pretty good dude.

SilentJ · « **Reply #30 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 23:24 »

I honestly don't care how biased I've become in the subject, I cannot stand the sight of Guy Fieri. I work for TGI Friday's, so every goddamn time I seat a table I have to see his face. Every time I hear "oh hey, it's that guy from the food network!" I really want to shout "no fucking way! really?!?!?"

Also fuck you guys who are talking about Alton Brown carrying the food network, Ace of Cakes and Unwrapped are legit.

Ballard · « **Reply #31 on:** 06 Apr 2009, 23:39 »

Unwrapped makes me wonder where the fuck they find those people who are like, the world's foremost expert on creamers shaped like cows, or the world's most qualified chocolate covered pie-on-a-stick scholars.

Also it's just twenty minutes of watching factories operate and make mass-produced food that's hardly ever touched by human hands. Kind of depressing.

Ace of Cakes, now that is a TV show.

McTaggart · « **Reply #32 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 01:24 »

Is Ace of Cakes a play on playing cards or Ace of Bass?

Ballard · « **Reply #33 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 01:30 »

Duff listens to, pretty exclusively, Fu Manchu and Clutch so I doubt it's an Ace of Base pun.

Johnny C · « **Reply #34 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 01:54 »

ace of cakes is one of the worst excesses of american culture because the announcers say shit like "it would take a hundred and forty people to eat this cake. much of it will be discarded at the end of tonight's episode" and that is a major 'fuck you' to so many people

Spluff · « **Reply #35 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 02:45 »

Quote from: Ballard on 07 Apr 2009, 01:30

Duff listens to, pretty exclusively, Fu Manchu and Clutch so I doubt it's an Ace of Base pun.

It's probably Ace of Spades related.

Patrick · « **Reply #36 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 04:59 »

Quote from: WriterofAllWrongs on 06 Apr 2009, 15:52

I like Giada De Laurentiis

file photo

valley_parade · « **Reply #37 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 05:09 »

Quote from: WriterofAllWrongs on 06 Apr 2009, 15:52

I like Giada De Laurentiis pretty well, but Alton is the King of that particular network. Also Bourdain would be more fun to watch if he checked his ego a bit more, but he still runs a good show, albeit on a different network.

Dude, Bourdain's ego is what makes him so great.

Luke C · « **Reply #38 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 07:41 »

Quote from: PantsFTW on 05 Apr 2009, 23:29

Also that he always wears bowling shirts.
always.

Maybe he goes bowling all the time?

The only thing I know about this guy is that he was on some pizza hut commercial that used to be on the Daily Show website. Just seeing him annoyed me.

Ballard · « **Reply #39 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 08:08 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 07 Apr 2009, 01:54

ace of cakes is one of the worst excesses of american culture because the announcers say shit like "it would take a hundred and forty people to eat this cake. much of it will be discarded at the end of tonight's episode" and that is a major 'fuck you' to so many people

Huh? When does this happen?

michaelicious · « **Reply #40 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 08:36 »

Quote from: WriterofAllWrongs on 06 Apr 2009, 15:52

Giada De Laurentiis

Anyone else thinks she kind of looks like a bobble-head?

Avec · « **Reply #41 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 09:00 »

An Italian bobble-head with a pretty face, she can't even fucking cook. I remember last year my mom made me watch a program with her cooking in front of a live crowd in Georgia. She didn't know how to boil pasta, it just shows that everything is set up for her.

On a brighter note, I remember being stoked every week for AB's Feasting On Asphault show, good times.

valley_parade · « **Reply #42 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 09:08 »

Feasting on Waves was pretty great as well. I want to take a culinary tour of the Caribbean, now.

Professor Snuggles · « **Reply #43 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 09:19 »

Quote from: Johnny C on 06 Apr 2009, 11:14

"it's not actually that hard to make almost anything it maybe takes a bit of practice," says the poster who only recently began to actually attempt cooking for himself

You fuck, I have been cooking since I was 7, I'm just branching out into things I haven't tried before.

You fuck.

Avec · « **Reply #44 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 09:54 »

I think you got the point across of him being a fuck.

Avec · « **Reply #45 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 10:22 »

BACON.

HOLY JESUS FUCK PENIS BALLS.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V70uzuPoV5w

valley_parade · « **Reply #46 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 10:36 »

Quote from: Ozymandias on 07 Apr 2009, 10:11

Quote from: Johnny C on 07 Apr 2009, 01:54
ace of cakes is one of the worst excesses of american culture because the announcers say shit like "it would take a hundred and forty people to eat this cake. much of it will be discarded at the end of tonight's episode" and that is a major 'fuck you' to so many people

Man.

I don't ever remember anyone ever saying anything like that ever on that show.

I don't even remember announcers. Maybe it was a Food Network Challenge that Duff was in?

MrBlu · « **Reply #47 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 10:46 »

Quote from: Sam on 06 Apr 2009, 12:06

the only person that matters is Anthony Bourdain and you fuckers know it.

Man has a point.

US Food Network needs "The F Word", but we all know that's not happening.

michaelicious · « **Reply #48 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 11:06 »

Quote from: MrBlu on 07 Apr 2009, 10:46

US Food Network needs "The F Word", but we all know that's not happening.

We get "The F Word" in Canada. It's kind of a dumb show. It's too scattered.

BrittanyMarie · « **Reply #49 on:** 07 Apr 2009, 11:07 »

I want to be friends with all of the Ace of Cakes people. The main guy who is not Duff is kind of dreamy

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Author Topic: I finally pinpointed what's wrong with Guy Fieri (Read 20628 times)