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[raoullefere]

It just seems kind of sad that it's SUCH A BIG DEAL OMG SEX NAOO for her.
People are weird.

First, anything you've been having and enjoying in large quantities recently can be a big deal when you suddenly aren't getting them anymore. Of them sex, sugar, and caffeine have been mine, and I'm willing to put some cold hard cash down that anyone who's been having good sex recently and is somewhat lonely to boot will feel like Faye does. Except for the true, blue (balled?) stoics out there. But those I've met don't seem entirely human.

Hey, Marten's just next door, Faye...

I thought this, too. And I'm not trolling. I simply think it's a shame that people who're good friends can't help one another out at times like this. One of the worst problems I see in Western European cultures (Can't speak to other cultures, haven't lived in them) is its attitudes towards sex. It seems absolutely designed from the ground up to make people feel lonely, isolated, and guilty. Oh, I know very few, if any 'free love' movements have ever worked. But I also think I can pinpoint why they failed. A) too many of the individuals within them couldn't quash their ground-in 'old' culturally-based reactions and 2) there really is no such thing as free sex. There is a price: you have to on some level care about the person you're sharing it with and act accordingly. (yeah, I know there are hoards of people who don't do this; that's part of our society's sexual pathology).

Too me, all sex really boils down to is (or should be) a way of showing someone you care about them, of celebrating the connection. But to think it's the only way, or even the most important way, to me is batshit crazy. Like every other physical act, it's not the act itself, but the intent behind it that defines what the act means.

And yes, I know there's a freaking ton of biological issues that go into this that I haven't touched on. I'll say this: I think one of any society's goals should be to find a way for its individuals to live with and, my goodness, even be happy with their human biology. It's a bit shocking that with all the save the forests, save the oceans, save the whales, what-have-you attempts to get us to live with our planet's biology instead of fighting and destroying it, that we don't seem to do nearly as much for our own biology. Suppress it and move on, OR submit to it completely seem to be the prevailing attitudes, too often both at the same time. I think we need another option.

Anyway, it is a shame Faye can't go get some comfort from Marten, who, incidentally, seems to be the one character on the strip who doesn't place some sort of halo around sex. (Raven and Sven are both belt-notchers, IMHO).

Okay, have at it. (Note: didn't know whether this worked best for here (since it's comic related, kinda) or Discuss!  Mods, do as you think best.)

[Mallli_kite]

What's to have at?  You mostly make sense.

There are, as you pointed out, biological imperatives that also affect our sexual behavior, and our desire to find meaning in everything plays into it a lot.

I could also go into the various viewpoints, among which prevalent in our culture is the idea of scarcity -- that if someone else gets what I want, there won't be enough for me, or any for me -- which comes into play, but I haven't had enough caffeine yet.

Of course, there's Marten right next door.  There is also Dora, a phone call away (if we are really being all about the friends offering comfort).  And, I'm sure Faye has a few toys tucked in a drawer.

I'll walk in another direction.  Faye may be interpreting what she feels as being horny, purely desiring sex, but I'd say what she is really after is some connection with another living person, to feel all that emotional stuff, to feel desired and beautiful and wanted, to forget she's damaged goods in her own eyes and the eyes of others.

If all she wanted was an orgasm, she could get that without the phone.

[Rantmaster]

If all she wanted was an orgasm, she could get that without the phone.

If I recall correctly, she is a little tired of masturbation - restraining order against her hand, and all. 

But that only drives home that what she does want is to be desired, to be *with* someone. Even if it is a lie, part of her wants to believe in the lie. Craving what she wanted but wouldn't let herself have with Marten, she turns to Sven.

It's difficult to talk about this, of course. This is the culture we live in. This is what we grew up believing. Even the people trying to be in poly relationships fall down on it (like Tai and her lady friends). It works, sometimes, but it is understandably harder. And it doesn't help that at the same time as wanting to fix our fucked up modalities about sex, part of us just want an excuse to give in to our libidos whenever and with whoever we want. Just like Faye. It's like the Superego trying to get the Id laid.

[maddness]

I'll walk in another direction.  Faye may be interpreting what she feels as being horny, purely desiring sex, but I'd say what she is really after is some connection with another living person, to feel all that emotional stuff, to feel desired and beautiful and wanted, to forget she's damaged goods in her own eyes and the eyes of others.

If all she wanted was an orgasm, she could get that without the phone.

I think this is the direction I favor, though the whole just plain missing good sex probably plays in there as well. Toys are fine, but they don't compare to good sex.

As to free love ... I think that, psychologically, most people have a need to have at least one person in their lives who loves/cares for them above all others and fear of losing that leads to jealousy and possessive behaviors.

[Is it cold in here?]

As of #389, Faye didn't own any sex toys, at least not that she'd admit to.

Jealousy appears in so many cultures that it's logical to figure we're wired for it. On the other hand, as the woman said in _The African Queen_, "Nature, Mr. Allnut, is what we are put in this world to rise above!"

Agreed: the most natural reading of this strip is that it's another way of showing that Faye got emotionally involved.

[Cartilage Head]

 The only emotions I see are "Horny as fuck". A bloo blah bloo blah bloo.

[Mallli_kite]

The only emotions I see are "Horny as fuck". A bloo blah bloo blah bloo.

Nope, that's horny enough not to have scruples about consequences -- aka, like Sven.

[maveric1984]

Honestly, I've only ever been with what one would call "Friends with Benefits".  The trick is that all we ever do when we see each other is have sex.  We don't go on dates, we don't even really see each other outside of the bedroom.  We're always safe (I have one regular who I am allowed to go bareback with, but we use condoms with every one else) and we always have a good time.  She doesn't want anything else, and neither do I.

I will say however, that due to forces outside of my control, that my friend and I haven't been able to get together in about a month, and I've been horny as hell for the last 2 weeks. Masturbation is plain and simple NO COMPARISON.

[bhtooefr]

Technically, isn't a FWB someone who you are friends with, but with benefits, whereas fuckbuddies just have the benefits and nothing else?

[raoullefere]

Faye may be interpreting what she feels as being horny, purely desiring sex, but I'd say what she is really after is some connection with another living person, to feel all that emotional stuff, to feel desired and beautiful and wanted, to forget she's damaged goods in her own eyes and the eyes of others.

God, I hope not. I mean, this is Sven we're talking about. I agree that Faye's not just wanting the Big O*, but leave the stuff past desired out. I can't really see how she could get that from Sven. And I hope Faye doesn't think she's damaged goods. But if she does, either Marten, if the world turned another way, or Dora, if Faye also turned another way, would definitely be the better choice. Faye'd have to crazy(er) to believe either of them think that. Nor has Angus given her cause to think he sees her as damaged goods (he even likes her 'prickles'). As for Sven, all evidence points to him being less concerned about the condition of the goods than their immediacy. And that they're blonde, although I suspect that's just a plus.

I contend that if the status of the Faye-goods has anything at all to do with Faye's opinion of herself, she chooses Sven because he affirms, or has the potential to affirm that they're damaged.

I'll add this, too. The Faye-Sven couplings to me have always seemed to at least smack of adversarial sex. To achieve the goal you set, 'twould seem to me Faye needs friendly sex.

*Yeah, I always wondered about that anime. Bellowing "Big O! Showtime!" like that is rather kinky, when you think about it.

[Nightson]

Martin and Dora should just invite Faye to join them in the bedroom every now and then.

[RefD]

Martin and Dora should just invite Faye to join them in the bedroom every now and then.

 

[Mallli_kite]

God, I hope not. I mean, this is Sven we're talking about. I agree that Faye's not just wanting the Big O*, but leave the stuff past desired out. I can't really see how she could get that from Sven. And I hope Faye doesn't think she's damaged goods. But if she does, either Marten, if the world turned another way, or Dora, if Faye also turned another way, would definitely be the better choice. Faye'd have to crazy(er) to believe either of them think that. Nor has Angus given her cause to think he sees her as damaged goods (he even likes her 'prickles'). As for Sven, all evidence points to him being less concerned about the condition of the goods than their immediacy. And that they're blonde, although I suspect that's just a plus.

I contend that if the status of the Faye-goods has anything at all to do with Faye's opinion of herself, she chooses Sven because he affirms, or has the potential to affirm that they're damaged.

I'll add this, too. The Faye-Sven couplings to me have always seemed to at least smack of adversarial sex. To achieve the goal you set, 'twould seem to me Faye needs friendly sex.

*Yeah, I always wondered about that anime. Bellowing "Big O! Showtime!" like that is rather kinky, when you think about it.

See, I don't see Sven quite the way you do.  He's made some fairly kind gestures toward Faye.  I suspect she may be one of the few women he's fucked that he's also had conversation with.

As for the "damaged goods" idea, she's said herself that she's messed up.  She's said it lots of times, in assorted ways.  I'd guess she has some self esteem issues tucked in there. 

We could get into a long, rather intellectual discussion about the whole idea of FWB and why that doesn't tend to work for women (TEND, which is not an absolute or an all inclusive term).  Generational differences may come into play, but I've seen few examples of it -- hell, even among my lesbian friends, what looks like a casual sexual encounter seems to be always followed up with a U-haul.

Sex just for the sake of sex can be fun for a while.  For some people, it's all they ever want. For others, it gradually becomes an empty exercise that doesn't replace wanting a relationship with someone.  I can't say for sure about Faye (she is, after all, a construct from inside Jeph's head, and I won't make suppositions about the man because I don't know squat about him) but just using her as a symbol, I'd say she's looking a lot like the relationship wanting kind.  She's punished herself for a long while by rejecting relationships and making herself hard to like, but that is coming to an end as she's making friends and trying to get out of her little self-built prison.

[Cartilage Head]

Honestly, I've only ever been with what one would call "Friends with Benefits".  The trick is that all we ever do when we see each other is have sex.  We don't go on dates, we don't even really see each other outside of the bedroom.  We're always safe (I have one regular who I am allowed to go bareback with, but we use condoms with every one else) and we always have a good time.  She doesn't want anything else, and neither do I.

I will say however, that due to forces outside of my control, that my friend and I haven't been able to get together in about a month, and I've been horny as hell for the last 2 weeks. Masturbation is plain and simple NO COMPARISON.

 So you guys are friends with benefits except for the "friends" part? I'm sorry, but it seems terrible to be someone's booty call. That is probably the worst relationship I can think of.

[Mr. Skawronska]

This thread just makes me giggle.

Anything that examines just exactly HOW Faye is suffering by her own designs amuses the hell out of me.

Just had to be said.

S

[Zingoleb]

I'm sorry Skawronska, I'm trying to find a second dimension to you and failing.

[SleeperCylon]

Sex is a biological imperative.  Sharing it with somebody you have a real connection to gives it meaning, expands the rewards beyond just the endorphins.

I do agree that the whole idea of sex in our culture has been turned into something disgusting.  Men manipulating women through misrepresentation and outright lies, then bragging about it.  People being chastised because they can't/choose not to do it.  The attitude that expecting men to care about anything else in their interaction with women is naive and stupid.  Sex can be a wonderful thing, but in its current form as a cultural idea, it's revolting.  Then again I guess it's a step up from cultures where women are completely politically subjugated.

[plethora]

the Big O

Roy Orbison. Just sayin'.

[MrMonk]

the Big O

Roy Orbison. Just sayin'.

or Overstock.com

(from the christmas commercial) "Ho, ho, ho, the big, big O . . ."

[Shmee]

the Big O

Roy Orbison. Just sayin'.

I will fetch the clingfilm.