Man, good news/better news/bad news.
Good news is I found an original copy of KMFDM's
Naive—not the remixed album with the green cover, not Metropolis’ reissue but the long-deleted one with the offending “O Fortuna” sample intact. Better news is that it was in a used bin priced at $5 by someone who didn't realize how sought-after that disc is (minus an extra 20% off for Record Store Day). Fucking A!
Bad news is that the second half of the album won't play at all in my MacBook and plays with very noticeable distortion on my desktop PC. There are no obvious scratches and it plays fine on my stereo, but I can't rip the damn thing to mp3 at all. And since this is probably a once-in-a-decade find it's not like I'm gonna trade it in for a refund or replacement.
I was all like, "WOOOOO! .... ... Aw, shit."