Topic: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated (Read 87019 times)

Lines · « **Reply #50 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 19:18 »

James, this doesn't help at all. You in a bra in Canada just isn't the same as you here in a bra. See?

Cire27 · « **Reply #51 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 19:22 »

ITT: Circle jerks.

MrBlu · « **Reply #52 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:09 »

Has anyone heard the song "Passing Me By" by The Pharcyde?

I could have written that entire damn song. How is it that every time I get close to someone that I'm compatible with, personality wise and interests wise, something just comes in the way.

Whether it's "Oh, just came out of a bad relationship" (And then goes and has sex with my friend), or they migrate, or the latest one, which pisses me off the most, they're too old for me.

Now, let me vent about the last one for a bit. I've been counting the amount of times I've had a girl say "I'm not going to jail for you!". We've hit 5. Apparently I attract older girls and neither of us realize the age gap until questions start being asked. But fluffing COME ON. This one is EVERYTHING I've ever wanted in a girl, she's hot, she dances, she likes the EXACT same music I like, and more, and she's intelligent. BUT WTFLUFF she's 4 years older than me.

ASHKHSGDKGSDHDTHIS IS NOT HAPPENING TO ME.

J-cob9000 · « **Reply #53 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:16 »

Does this thread apply to me if I haven't hit puberty yet?

Okay, so I do in fact, have pubes and all that but I'm only 15 guys, I don't even think about that stuff yet.
Girls still have cooties to me.
Okay, maybe not.

0bsessions · « **Reply #54 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:20 »

Are you crying about being a minor not getting laid? Seriously?

News flash: most of us didn't get laid. Cry me a river.

In other news:

Quote from: Ballard on 19 Apr 2009, 19:11

regular lubricated Trojans are not the way to go apparently if you enjoy a) sensation and b) not having to constantly change condoms 'cause they keep drying out.

Fucking Trojans, man. Stock up on something, anything, else. I have never in my sexually active life been a fan of their garbage rubbers. They dry out, they break constantly (Which, let me tell you, isn't funny the first time, much less the subsequent occasions), the pretty much numb you out. They are just terrible fucking condoms.

MrBlu · « **Reply #55 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:21 »

Are there any other kind?

Slick · « **Reply #56 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:21 »

Quote from: Midnight Umbreon on 19 Apr 2009, 20:16

Does this thread apply to me

Q: are you 1) sexy and 2) frustrated?
If yes on both, then yes.
If no on either, then no.

also fuck small text

Drill King · « **Reply #57 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:25 »

I just wanna say here that, ahaha oh man James I love you. Also, you can totally be a minor and be sexually frustrated.

And this post most certainly counts. hoooooooooooo boy does it count. But I, like most on this forum, are a bit gawky or live in weird social situations (read both of the above for myself), so being frustrated may not be my fault(or it is, I don't know, you're all lovely people why are we on the internet instead of meeting people and holding hands and making euphemisms, :c )

Cire27 · « **Reply #58 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:32 »

I also count my post.

MrBlu · « **Reply #59 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:39 »

*Raises hand*

squawk · « **Reply #60 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:44 »

I AM SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD

Slick · « **Reply #61 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:45 »

I'd hit it.

Slick · « **Reply #62 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:45 »

(sometimes I don't like myself or the things I say)

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #63 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:47 »

I've had sex with a 17 year old. Ain't no thing.

But then I live in a country with reasonable age of consent laws.

Slick · « **Reply #64 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:49 »

yesssssss, and I think we've killed it?

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #65 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:52 »

Good show everybody.

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #66 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 20:58 »

Man, it is totally possible to be a minor and be sexually frustrated. Especially because even if you are getting laid, odds are pretty good that it's lousy sex.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #67 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:01 »

But odds are that you don't know that it is lousy (though I am working on the assumption that both parties are relatively new to the whole experience) - it could be safe to assume that it is at least ok.

Lines · « **Reply #68 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:02 »

This thread should have ended with James' picture. I mean, how can we be sexually frustrated with that picture? Other than the fact we're not all in Canada?

Basically I'm confused as to how this even got to two pages.

Dimmukane · « **Reply #69 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:03 »

Man, fuck that noise. All I wanna do right now is listen to shitty mallcore bands and be fucking angsty. With extra eyeliner.

TheFuriousWombat · « **Reply #70 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:08 »

Quote from: Midnight Umbreon on 19 Apr 2009, 20:16

Does this thread apply to me if I haven't hit puberty yet?

Okay, so I do in fact, have pubes and all that but I'm only 15 guys, I don't even think about that stuff yet.
Girls still have cooties to me.
Okay, maybe not.

Man, that ain't no excuse. I remember getting boners to Victoria's Secret magazines in 4th grade! Of course, that still tends to be the extent of my sex life for the most part (not for lack of a willing partner, she just happens to be far away most of the time).

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #71 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:15 »

Yeah, child abuse is something that really really sucks that I thankfully have not experienced. By minor I meant 15-17, post puberty.

SilentJ · « **Reply #72 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:17 »

Man I totally thought this thread applied to me until I read it.

Going in I was all "oh man I haven't gotten laid in 5 months, I am totally sexually frustrated"

then somebody made a joke about this thread not applying to them because they god laid, and I was curious. How long's it been, people?

Also I don't care what it says about me, I have no problem with Trojans. They get the job done just fine for me. Or have in the past, anyhow.

Ballard · « **Reply #73 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:27 »

Quote from: Ptommydski on 19 Apr 2009, 21:05

I'd imagine it does really suck for one of the parties involved if you see my point.

Quote from: tommydski on 12 Jan 2009, 08:04

An alarming number of women on this forum have seen or interacted with my chap

Quote from: Ptommydski on 19 Apr 2009, 20:51

I wanted to remind everyone of our shared heritage.

Ballard · « **Reply #74 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:42 »

Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 19 Apr 2009, 21:01

But odds are that you don't know that it is lousy (though I am working on the assumption that both parties are relatively new to the whole experience) - it could be safe to assume that it is at least ok.

Ohh man that is so far off the mark.

It is completely fucking lousy.

0bsessions · « **Reply #75 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 21:50 »

Maybe you are just bad at sex, Gene?

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #76 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 22:11 »

Yeah I'm not that frustrated guys. I've had 5 assisted orgasms in the last 24 hours. I'm not exactly getting laid all that often, but I make it count.

I would've had some very different things to say two weeks ago though. I might again in another two.

Eris · « **Reply #77 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 22:39 »

I think some people might be missing the point of this thread.

onewheelwizzard · « **Reply #78 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 22:49 »

I like talking about sexual frustration, though, whether or not I suffer from it.

Personally I suggest buying a book by Mantak Chia and getting some extra practice on your own body. It's basically win-win because it takes your mind off the fact that you're not having sex with other people, and prepares you better for when you do.

Johnny C · « **Reply #79 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 23:16 »

lets all cum

Gilead · « **Reply #80 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 23:41 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11

Yeah I'm not that frustrated guys. I've had 5 assisted orgasms in the last 24 hours. I'm not exactly getting laid all that often, but I make it count.

I would've had some very different things to say two weeks ago though. I might again in another two.

"Post here if you're incredibly hungry!"
"Oh man I am eating the most delicious steak right now, it is the best thing ever, here I took a picture of it, I am showing you guys the picture of the steak, the steak that I am eating"

Also I am too frustrated about like, everything else to be frustrated about sex, anxiety makes me unsexy.

Ballard · « **Reply #81 on:** 19 Apr 2009, 23:49 »

Man if anxiety was sexy I'd be drowning in women right now.

Lunchbox · « **Reply #82 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 00:13 »

My boyfriend has been gone for a week, it is about 7 days and 16 hours. I have 11 weeks to go.
I actually bought a vibrator but for days I was too terrified to take it out of the packet, then I did take it out and it smells weird and I want it to go away.
One week.
We shall see how desperate I get.

Jace · « **Reply #83 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 00:19 »

Hey thread, whats up. I work with a ridiculously hot girl. And I want her to make aquaintances with my penis. But we can never meet up outside of work.

ruyi · « **Reply #84 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 00:30 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11

assisted orgasms

like this phrase

MadassAlex · « **Reply #85 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 00:31 »

Quote from: Ã¶de on 19 Apr 2009, 15:46

AAAAAH C'MON

Back in year 10 of high school, my friends and I were settling down to sleep in our tents. One of them pipes up: "Tom, who would you rather fuck? Teo, or Alex?"
There is a period of deliberation and debate. Finally, Tom responds: "Ergh, Teo". I respond thusly:

"AAAAAH, C'MON"

It is a moment remembered to this day.

Also, hi thread. I am very sexually frustrated, but I like to think that some women don't mind this.

Slick · « **Reply #86 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 00:49 »

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11

assisted orgasms

Quote from: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 00:30

like this phrase

See I definitely find it sounds just a little too weird. It seems a logical, rational wording but I find it kind of stiff and clinical.
Maybe I am just a prude about talking about sex explicitly.

MrBlu · « **Reply #87 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 01:00 »

To me, it sounds like a chronic masturbater talking about sex.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #88 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 01:01 »

To me it sounds like you almost get there and then someone jumps in and helps you get the last way there.

Like in basketball.

ruyi · « **Reply #89 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 01:04 »

Quote from: Slick on 20 Apr 2009, 00:49

Quote from: onewheelwizzard on 19 Apr 2009, 22:11
assisted orgasms
Quote from: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 00:30
like this phrase

See I definitely find it sounds just a little too weird. It seems a logical, rational wording but I find it kind of stiff and clinical.
Maybe I am just a prude about talking about sex explicitly.

I like stiff and clinical! I don't know anything about sex though, maybe that's why I like to talk about it.

Johnny C · « **Reply #90 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 01:12 »

Quote from: ruyi on 20 Apr 2009, 01:04

I like stiff

:I

ruyi · « **Reply #91 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 01:19 »

Oh snap what do you know! A lascivious phrase be creepin into my post. Good eye Johnny C

Johnny C · « **Reply #92 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 01:29 »

Tom · « **Reply #93 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 02:04 »

Naughty.

Gemmwah · « **Reply #94 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 02:49 »

Quote from: Misconception on 19 Apr 2009, 17:56

Gemm, dear, if I ever become a lesbian you will be my first choice.

Now go find me a boyfriend, that's a good girl.

I am not using my gay superpowers to find you a boyfriend, Liz.

That's not how it works.

Spluff · « **Reply #95 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 02:56 »

Hey thread.

snalin · « **Reply #96 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 02:57 »

Quote from: MrBlu on 19 Apr 2009, 20:09

Whether it's "Oh, just came out of a bad relationship" (And then goes and has sex with my friend)

This

Quote from: MrBlu on 20 Apr 2009, 01:00

To me, it sounds like a ~~chronic masturbater~~ guy talking about sex.

Dollface · « **Reply #97 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 03:26 »

When girls arent around dudes have real fun.

J-cob9000 · « **Reply #98 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 04:09 »

Quote from: 0bsessions on 19 Apr 2009, 20:20

Are you crying about being a minor not getting laid? Seriously?

No.

Siibillam-Law · « **Reply #99 on:** 20 Apr 2009, 04:43 »

Holy shit. I go to sleep for a few hours and this thing goes to three pages
The levels of sexual frustration in this forum are through the roof

or must we sink low and say reference a number above 8,999?

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: Post Here if You're Sexually Frustrated (Read 87019 times)

Gilead