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Author Topic: Bad Reviews of Classics  (Read 1429 times)

Will

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Bad Reviews of Classics
« on: 07 May 2009, 14:42 »

This could easily have gone in the music, movies, or books section...but I put it here instead.
http://www.cynical-c.com/

A highly amusing site I found today that scans Amazon reviews for books/movies/albums that are now considered to be classics, and posts ONLY the 1-star negative reviews.
If you take your favorite band too seriously, or can't handle iconoclasty then maybe don't click the link...however, if the idea of watching someone attempt to argue - with all the literacy skills of a Youtube commenter - that St. Anger is a MUCH better album than DSOTM, or you want to chuckle as someone completely misses the point of Slaughterhouse 5 by saying "what's up with saying 'so it goes' after someone dies all the time? That's disrespectful.' then click the link!

An amusing game to play is to read the reviews posted, and try to figure out which ones are trolls, and which are serious WHARRGARBL. Have fun!
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Alex C

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #1 on: 07 May 2009, 15:40 »

Man, there is no way I'm checking that out. I wouldn't be able to handle it, since I already spend waaay too much time arguing on the internet. The only thing keeping me from getting huffy about DSOTM vs. St. Anger right now is the simple fact that it'd be a complete waste of everyone's time.  Even so I am still tempted.
« Last Edit: 07 May 2009, 15:41 by Alex C »
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David_Dovey

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #2 on: 07 May 2009, 21:28 »

I remember a guy on the radio saying that Rolling Stone gave one of the seminal Pixies albums (I think it might've been Doolittle) 2 stars. In the same issue the highest-rated album was by Boom Crash Opera.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #3 on: 07 May 2009, 22:26 »

Oh man, I go through Amazon to read the one star reviews anyways

This makes it so much easier

(My favourite bad review was this guy saying that Rush are shit, and that Dream Theater is way better)
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benji

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #4 on: 08 May 2009, 13:20 »

This has to be the best one I've found so far. About the film Spinal Tap:

Quote
    If you’re going to make such an excellent documentary, why make it about about a band that nobody has ever heard of?

    Getting similar behind-the-scenes footage on the Who, The Stones, or Genesis would have been a monumental achievment in documentary cinema.

    But Spinal Pap?

Edit: I didn't get far enough in to the Spinal Tap Reviews before posting.

Quote
    Okay, seriously, who the heck are these Spinal Tap fellas? I’m an expert on music (I studied the art form for four years, know every artist of the last 40 years, and scored an A+ on my math test…which really doesn’t have anything to do with music, but it shows you that I am intellegent), and have never heard of these guys before. Let me ask you a perfectly reasonable question: why would you want to watch a documentary on a band that you’ve never heard of before? And to top it all off, the interviewer is some guy named Rob (who resembles a pig! That’s right, a little piggy!). If I wanted to look at a hog for an hour, I’d make some bacon!

    Also of note is that there’s some character named ‘Bobbi Fleckman’. How can you people be fooled so easily? Don’t you realize that it’s nothing but a cheap disguise? It’s really The Nanny, Fran Fine! Nice try, Fran, but I didn’t believe it for one second! I guess sometimes, you just have to get away from that butler and that old British guy!

    People, whatever you do, don’t buy this trash! Just wait until Limp Bizkit (the greatest band ever!) makes a documentary on their wild and crazy and cool antics! It’s sure to put this to shame!
« Last Edit: 08 May 2009, 13:23 by benji »
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Will

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #5 on: 08 May 2009, 13:25 »

Since I just played Baba O'Riley during my request hour today, I was especially amused by this one:

Quote from: Some troll
These guys are the worst of the worst when it comes to music. One, I’ve never seen them on MTV, and two, the songs are awful, radio unfriendly, and above all untalented. Like Baba O’Riley, which is just the same note over and over and something about a teenage wasteland. Whatever. And Won’t Get Fooled Again is very radio and MTV unfriednly.

And Behind Blue Eyes makes me infuriated. Why did they take a Limp Bizkit masterpiece and turn it into crap?

Avoid this like the plague.

Bold and italics mine...WTF?
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mberan42

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #6 on: 08 May 2009, 13:27 »

Yeah, what the heck is up with all the Limp Bizkit references in all those reviews? Is that an Amazon review meme or something?
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Will

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #7 on: 08 May 2009, 13:35 »

Unless I'm missing something, I'd assume it's in reference to Limp Bizkit's ear-rapingly fuckawful cover of Behind Blue Eyes?
Given that more than 3/4 of these have to be trolls, I have no idea, but I'd say it's similar to the mindset of people who listen to The Downward Spiral for the first time and bitch about the "cover of that Johnny Cash song Hurt."
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Quote from: JohhnyC
In grade six one of my classmates during sex ed asked if the penis could be broken. The teacher's response was "Not in the same way you'd break a bone. I still wouldn't take a hammer to it or anything."

Zingoleb

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #8 on: 08 May 2009, 13:51 »

When Johnny Cash does a song, you forget about who did it in the first place. :D
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benji

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #9 on: 08 May 2009, 14:21 »

It's really hard to spot the trolls in a lot of that. I imagine the person who thought Mark Twain was even worse in the original Belgian was a troll. The person who just hopes this Twain guy doesn't write any more books? Harder to say.
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Alex C

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Re: Bad Reviews of Classics
« Reply #10 on: 08 May 2009, 14:28 »

My favorite part of the Spinal Tap review is when he spells intelligent wrong. I mean, he's obviously a troll, but I appreciate the attention to detail.
« Last Edit: 08 May 2009, 14:30 by Alex C »
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