Topic: Who would win in a fight. (Read 16478 times)

billiumbean · « **on:** 27 Jun 2009, 00:28 »

I played this game with a friend and fellow nerd before he moved away. I'm sort of going through withdrawals, so tada!

The rules are very simple; debate which nominee, if put into the same universe, would win in a fight. It can be anyone ~~in fiction~~; science fiction heroes, comic book villains, Captain Planet, etc. I decided to post this in this particular subforum, but I think comic book or manga characters should be allowed just the same, even if they have their own separate subforum. Creatures count, too, just say how many of them are fighting.

To nominate, name the two contenders, then state their terms. If you nominate Batman, which one? The comic book version? Tim Burton version? Chris Nolan version? Terms also include the scenario; I've found that a Roman Coliseum usually works for plain foot-based combat.

Who would win in a fight:
Neo from the end of the first Matrix movie OR Goku from the Cell saga, alive for once.
In: New York City, populated.

Sox · « **Reply #1 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 05:25 »

Inside or outside of the Matrix?

Cartilage Head · « **Reply #2 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 08:01 »

Goku.

I have thought a lot about if Pinhead fought Spawn, actually. That would be fucking awesome.

billiumbean · « **Reply #3 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 16:49 »

Quote from: Sox on 27 Jun 2009, 05:25

Inside or outside of the Matrix?

Inside, of course.

Yayniall · « **Reply #4 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 18:38 »

Quote from: Cartilage Head on 27 Jun 2009, 08:01

Goku.

I have thought a lot about if Pinhead fought Spawn, actually. That would be fucking awesome.

This is a way better fight.
My money's on Pinhead because he's like pretty much invulnerable.

Sox · « **Reply #5 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 19:00 »

Who would win in a fight between Roger Moore's Bond and Pierce Brosnan's Bond?

Surgoshan · « **Reply #6 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 19:18 »

Wow, that's tough. I'd have to give it to Roger Moore because even though he sucked at Bond, he at least was old enough to be Bond. Pierce Brosnan always looked like a twelve year old and too pretty to be Bond. Flemming made it clear; Bond got chicks because he was a badass, not because he was pretty. Roger Moore wasn't all that badass, but at least he wasn't twelve.

Abraham Lincoln or Thomas Jefferson?

Lines · « **Reply #7 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 22:34 »

Lincoln could have killed Jefferson with his beard, though it would have been an otherwise relatively matched battle.

sean · « **Reply #8 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 22:51 »

If you're gonna match up presidents at least make it interesting.

Andrew Jackson Vs. Teddy Roosevelt

ptfreak · « **Reply #9 on:** 27 Jun 2009, 23:10 »

Jackson. Roosevelt was an explorer, Jackson was just pure bad ass. I assume you know the bullet in his shoulder for 20 years thing. (If not, it's self explanatory.)

satsugaikaze · « **Reply #10 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 01:44 »

Quote from: Linds on 27 Jun 2009, 22:34

Lincoln could have killed Jefferson with his beard, though it would have been an otherwise relatively matched battle.

the correct term is "muthafuckin' chin curtain", yo

billiumbean · « **Reply #11 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 02:18 »

I'm siding with Jackson as well. Roosevelt would have stood a chance, but I'm afraid I'm biased ever since John McCain fanboyed all over him during the election.

As for the other two... If it were a physical brawl, Lincoln. Something tells me that a man in a top hat can never fail when it comes to hand-to-hand combat.

Inlander · « **Reply #12 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 05:16 »

I believe among the top-hatted classes it's known as "fisticuffs".

Alex C · « **Reply #13 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 11:32 »

You guys know that Andrew Jackson was nearly assassinated, right? He ended up having to be restrained by his staffers. Lincoln? The dude was assassinated. I would say that Old Hickory wins the title of President I would be least likely to fuck with.

Sox · « **Reply #14 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 12:29 »

Quote from: billiumbean on 27 Jun 2009, 00:28

The rules are very simple; debate which nominee, if put into the same universe, would win in a fight. It can be anyone in fiction; science fiction heroes, comic book villains, Captain Planet, etc.

Alex C · « **Reply #15 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 13:23 »

Fuck rules.

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #16 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 13:30 »

Quote from: Alex C on 28 Jun 2009, 11:32

You guys know that Andrew Jackson was nearly assassinated, right? He ended up having to be restrained by his staffers. Lincoln? The dude was assassinated. I would say that Old Hickory wins the title of President I would be least likely to fuck with.

If anything he's just lucky. The first time he was hit and the second time the pistols misfired because of the humidity.

Muppet King · « **Reply #17 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 13:46 »

Jesus or Rasputin?

Alex C · « **Reply #18 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 14:35 »

Quote from: Blue Kitty on 28 Jun 2009, 13:30

If anything he's just lucky. The first time he was hit and the second time the pistols misfired because of the humidity.

Yeah, I know, but I am comfortable making specious arguments provided the topic is really inane.

Lines · « **Reply #19 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 16:48 »

Quote from: Muppet King on 28 Jun 2009, 13:46

Zombie Jesus or Zombie Rasputin?

Fixed that for you.

Zingoleb · « **Reply #20 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 16:51 »

Isn't "Zombie Jesus" sort of redundant?

Scarychips · « **Reply #21 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 16:58 »

Say that when he'll come and eat your brains. He'll appreciate that.

Zingoleb · « **Reply #22 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 17:00 »

Dammit Jesus first you want my heart now my brains

What do I get out of this relationship?

(Also, I'm gonna go with Zombie Rasputin. Jesus is weak on his own, he needs his father's help with everything. Every time he'd try to take out Rasputin, BAM, Rasputin comes back)

Muppet King · « **Reply #23 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 17:43 »

It would definitely be a battle for the ages, but what it comes down to is who is more invincible? Perhaps the superior posse would factor in as well.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #24 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 17:51 »

I posit John A. MacDonald and George Washington (first PM of Canada and first President of the US) in a drinking match.

My money's on Johnny boy - the man could pound away the whiskey and still make a decent political speech.

Scarychips · « **Reply #25 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 18:08 »

Yeah, I'm betting my money on John. He was known for being drunk and came up with the National Policy in 1876 while being drunk (or for his alcohol)!

billiumbean · « **Reply #26 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 19:15 »

Washington because I'm a pigheaded American.

Also because he probably could.

Surgoshan · « **Reply #27 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 19:39 »

Oh, fiction? Hmm..

Tom Sawyer Vs. God

Muppet King · « **Reply #28 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 20:05 »

Strangely enough, I just wrote a paper on how Tom Sawyer IS God in The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn.

Lines · « **Reply #29 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 20:48 »

Uh, guys, you obviously do not remember what Washington was really like. I'm sure he could out drink just about everybody.

JD · « **Reply #30 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 21:02 »

Washington and Johnny would be a pretty even match. I bet John would win because he had more of his teeth.

Astro Boy or Megaman?

Scarychips · « **Reply #31 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 21:14 »

Megaman with boss powerups or not?

JD · « **Reply #32 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 21:24 »

Alex C · « **Reply #33 on:** 28 Jun 2009, 22:04 »

In that case it's coming down to the number of Energy Tanks. My bet would be Megaman in a squeaker.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #34 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 05:37 »

Quote from: Linds on 28 Jun 2009, 20:48

Uh, guys, you obviously do not remember what Washington was really like. I'm sure he could out drink just about everybody.

John used to keep clear spirits in his water jug to sip from during speeches. George was too busy trying to father his country to be a serious dirinker.

Alex C · « **Reply #35 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 06:11 »

Actually, Washington was one of the most productive distillers of in North America and was fond enough of rum from the Barbados to insist that at least a barrel be present at his inaugural party. Washington was a steady drinker whereas MacDonald was reputedly more of a binger and once vomited in front of an audience. If going by sheer alcohol tolerance I'm not really sure we'd have enough booze on hand to settle this one properly. In the end though I think MacDonald would probably win since Washington was likely stodgy enough to balk at getting trashed in public whereas MacDonald apparently didn't need much encouragement to go on an epic bender. After all, they're going for a drinking title, not Miss Congeniality.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #36 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 11:40 »

Carrying on with the US presidents though - greatest womanizer: George Washington or Bill Clinton?

JD · « **Reply #37 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 11:42 »

George Washington

Alex C · « **Reply #38 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 11:52 »

Clinton by a landslide.

Ozymandias · « **Reply #39 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 12:00 »

Way more difficult:

JFK vs. Clinton

JD · « **Reply #40 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 12:32 »

Dazed · « **Reply #41 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 12:36 »

JFK for sure.

KvP · « **Reply #42 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 13:00 »

Nah man, JFK was fucked up physically, all sorts of back problems and addictions and shit. Clinton all the way.

Yngvie Malmsteen vs. Chuck D.

Gridgm · « **Reply #43 on:** 29 Jun 2009, 17:54 »

i really wish this was yngwie versus flavour flav with the battle ground of a "bling off"

Kugai · « **Reply #44 on:** 30 Jun 2009, 22:40 »

Never heard of 'em

Caesar Augustus V Julius Caesar

Surgoshan · « **Reply #45 on:** 01 Jul 2009, 00:07 »

Clearly Augustus. I mean, Julius won all sorts of wars and then was knifed to death by a bunch of goddamn senators. I mean, that's like being mugged by queens. Augustus at least had the dignity to become emperor and then win a bunch of wars and die of illness.

Thomas Edison · « **Reply #46 on:** 01 Jul 2009, 01:31 »

Al Capone versus Charles Manson

David_Dovey · « **Reply #47 on:** 01 Jul 2009, 04:37 »

In a fair fight, Capone by a mile.

On the Roosevelt vs. Jackson thing, are y'all crazy? And more importantly, did you know this?

Quote from: Wikipedia

While Roosevelt was campaigning in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on October 14, 1912, a saloonkeeper named John Schrank shot him, but the bullet lodged in his chest only after penetrating both his steel eyeglass case and passing through a thick (50 pages) single-folded copy of the speech he was carrying in his jacket.[79] Roosevelt, as an experienced hunter and anatomist, correctly concluded that since he wasn't coughing blood the bullet had not completely penetrated the chest wall to his lung, and so declined suggestions he go to the hospital immediately. Instead, he delivered his scheduled speech with blood seeping into his shirt.[80] He spoke for ninety minutes. His opening comments to the gathered crowd were, "Ladies and gentlemen, I don't know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose."[81] Afterwards, probes and X-ray showed that the bullet had traversed three inches (76 mm) of tissue and lodged in Roosevelt's chest muscle but did not penetrate the pleura, and it would be more dangerous to attempt to remove the bullet than to leave it in place. Roosevelt carried it with him for the rest of his life.[82]

Thomas Edison · « **Reply #48 on:** 01 Jul 2009, 05:11 »

Quote from: Jeans on 01 Jul 2009, 04:31

With or without families?

Without, but both get to pick their opponent's weapon.

Alex C · « **Reply #49 on:** 01 Jul 2009, 11:09 »

Quote from: David_Dovey on 01 Jul 2009, 04:37

On the Roosevelt vs. Jackson thing, are y'all crazy? And more importantly, did you know this?

Yes, I did. The problem is that the story is matched by things like this:

Quote from: Wikipedia

Charles Dickinson, the only man Jackson ever killed in a duel, had been goaded into angering Jackson by Jackson's political opponents. In the duel, fought over a horse-racing debt and an insult to his wife on May 30, 1806, Dickinson shot Jackson in the ribs before Jackson returned the fatal shot; Jackson actually allowed Dickinson to shoot first, knowing him to be an excellent shot, and as his opponent reloaded, Jackson shot, even as the bullet lodged itself in his chest. The bullet that struck Jackson was so close to his heart that it could never be safely removed. Jackson had been wounded so frequently in duels that it was said he "rattled like a bag of marbles."[46]

Apparently Jackson's gun even misfired so he had to prepare another shot before calmly and methodically shooting the guy, an act which caused many people to consider the duel to be tantamount to an outright murder.

Trust me, I have no disrespect for Roosevelt and I consider him to be the only other acceptable answer to the "Who's the toughest US President?" question. Jackson and Roosevelt are in a class of their own; they both were stupidly brave, with Jackson leading his troops to victory in the Battle of New Orleans and Roosevelt was nominated for and posthumously awarded the Medal of Honor. It really depends on whether you give people the edge for being generally reasonable but tough as nails (Roosevelt) or for being tough as nails and a bona fide cold-blooded crazy person (Jackson).

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Author Topic: Who would win in a fight. (Read 16478 times)

Zingoleb

Zingoleb