Topic: The Kenny (2009 Reboot) (Read 6222 times)

Christophe · « **on:** 26 Jul 2009, 18:07 »

So because the last The Kenny thread hasn't had a post on it since January (which was mine, jerks), I'm not gonna necropost and just start a new thread for it.

For those unacquainted with The Kenny, it is a fun game where you are presented with a subject (band, person, sexual act, situation, et cetera), heretofore called "The Kenny", and name something that is just better and just worse than The Kenny.

Examples:

The Kenny: Clipping your toenails in public.

Just Better: Clipping your toenails in front of a public building as a form of protest.

Just Worse: Clipping your toenails in the privacy of your own home, right in front of a window that faces a large thouroughfare.

Now please, Kenny one of the following:

*The realization that not buying curtains for your window has enabled your neighbor to peep in on you and your significant other doing it.
*Joining a Rush cover band.
*China cymbals.
*Home kitchen deep-fryer machines.
*Having a time machine that only travels to the time where they built the time machine.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #1 on:** 26 Jul 2009, 19:49 »

Just better: Joining Complete
Just worse: Joining Rush

The Kenny: becoming a model for American Apparel

Spluff · « **Reply #2 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 00:24 »

just better: wearing clothes
just worse: dating a model from american apparel

the kenny: megan fox

Jace · « **Reply #3 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 00:59 »

Just better: jessica alba
Just worse: angelina jolie

The kenny: Root Beer

scarred · « **Reply #4 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 01:04 »

Just better: Barq's
Just worse: Dad's

The Kenny: Ironic White Guy Hip-Hop

Zingoleb · « **Reply #5 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 01:23 »

Just better: White and Nerdy
Just worse: Non-ironic White Guy Hip-Hop

The Kenny: Led Zeppelin

FIXDIX · « **Reply #6 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 01:41 »

Just better: The Duff blimp
Just worse: LZ 129 Hindenburg

The Kenny: Losing your car keys

IronOxide · « **Reply #7 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 01:57 »

Just Better: Losing Your Virginity
Just Worse: Losing Your Mind

The Kenny: Inflation

scarred · « **Reply #8 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 02:07 »

Just better: Inebriation
Just worse: Education

The Kenny: Testicular Cancer

michaelicious · « **Reply #9 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 06:04 »

Quote from: scarred on 27 Jul 2009, 01:04

Just better: Barq's
Just worse: Dad's

The Kenny: Ironic White Guy Hip-Hop

Man, you don't know goddamn shit about root beer.

Christophe · « **Reply #10 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 08:57 »

Quote from: scarred on 27 Jul 2009, 02:07

The Kenny: Testicular Cancer

Just Better: Testicular fortitude
Just Worse: Tom Green

K-K-K-Kenny!: You reunite with an old friend whom you have been looking forward to seeing again. You guys hit it off like old days, and he casually mentions that his band is playing that night. They are a crabcore band.

the_pied_piper · « **Reply #11 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 10:50 »

Just better: You reunite with an old friend and hit it off like old times but have to leave early due to an emergency phone call.
Just worse: You reunite with an old friend and hit it off like old times but then recognise him as a member of Attack! Attack!

The Kenny: You break up a bar fight but are then arrested for assault.

axerton · « **Reply #12 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 18:23 »

Just better: you start a bar fight and watch the guy who tried to break it up get arrested while you get off scot free
Just worse: you attempt to break up a bar fight, only to be impaled on a broken pool cue by one of the drunken combatants

The Kenny: The Grim Reaper

J-cob9000 · « **Reply #13 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 20:37 »

Just better: Ring Wraiths
Just worse: Those things from Eragon.

The Kenny: Andrew Bird

David_Dovey · « **Reply #14 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 22:30 »

Just Better: Brad Bird
Just Worse: Larry Bird

The Kenny: Casual Racism!

Spluff · « **Reply #15 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 23:37 »

just better: casual sex
just worse: formal racism

the kenny: the sense of impending doom you feel every morning

bob, just bob · « **Reply #16 on:** 27 Jul 2009, 23:56 »

Better: the impending sense of the shrooms kicking in
Worse: the Impending sense of doom you get in the middle of the day

the kenny: being john Malkovich (either actually being him or the movie, you're pick!)

Joseph · « **Reply #17 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 00:29 »

Just better: Being John Malkovich except not bald.
Just worse: Being yourself.

The Kenny: Having fifties pop songs stuck in your head.

Jace · « **Reply #18 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 02:01 »

Just Better: Having eighties pop songs stuck in your head
Just Worse: Having fifty pop songs stuck in your head all at once.

The Kenny: Superman

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #19 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 06:16 »

Just Better: Pretty much any superhero.
Just Worse: Superboy

The Kenny: Fake Forumites (Hello Jen!)

David_Dovey · « **Reply #20 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 06:48 »

Just Better: Real Forumites
Just Worse: Really Dumb Forumites.

EDIT4KENNY: "Death of Autotune"

scarred · « **Reply #21 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 11:37 »

Just Better: Pretending it doesn't exist
Just Worse: Ben Gibbard whining about it

The Kenny: Pokemon

allison · « **Reply #22 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 11:46 »

Just better: The girl who voices Pikachu
Just worse: Digimon

Kenny: Prison tattoos

Jace · « **Reply #23 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 12:10 »

Just better: non-prison tattoos
Just worse: tattoos of the name of the girl you've been dating for a month

The kenny: penis

Christophe · « **Reply #24 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 12:25 »

Just Better: Wenis
Just Worse: Pinochle

Me My Mo Menny, Kenny: Starring in a movie featuring Steven Seagal and directed by Jerry Bruckheimer.

scarred · « **Reply #25 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 13:41 »

Just Better: Killing yourself
Just Worse: Moving to Oakland

The Kenny: The darkness that consumes yr soul

pwhodges · « **Reply #26 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 13:50 »

Just better: The light at the end of the tunnel...
Just worse: ...is an oncoming train.

The Kenny: Being tied to the rails.

scarred · « **Reply #27 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 14:09 »

Just better: Being tied to the bed
Just worse: Being tied to the anchor

The Kenny: Gay unicorn fucking

bob, just bob · « **Reply #28 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 16:42 »

better: Lesbian Unicorn Fucking
Worse: Inter-species Unicorn Fucking

the Kenny: Writing QC

Scarychips · « **Reply #29 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 20:21 »

Better: Writing xkcd (or Thingpart)
Worse: Writing Ctrl+Alt+Del

The Kenny: Being stuck with weird people for 3 hours.

Christophe · « **Reply #30 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 20:39 »

Just Better: Being paid to be stuck with weird people for 3 hours.
Just Worse: Having sex with weird people for 3 hours.

pkennydski: You are added to Holden Caulfield's list of Facebook friends.

David_Dovey · « **Reply #31 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 21:31 »

Just better: Being added to Eliot Rosewater's list of Facebook friends
Just Worse: Being a damn crummy phony.

The Gambler: Michael McDonald agrees to sing backup vocals on your song.

BrittanyMarie · « **Reply #32 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 21:46 »

Just better: Kenny Loggins AND Michael McDonald agree to sing backup vocals on your song
Just worse: someone puts a donk on it

Z Kenny: the feeling of having a clean home

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #33 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 22:00 »

Just better: not having to have cleaned it yourself.
Just worse: The feeling of having your home cleaned out by burglers.

Der Kenny: CANINE EROTIC DANCING

scarred · « **Reply #34 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 22:04 »

Better: Feline erotic dancing
Worse: Canine and human erotic dancing

ken-ken: the red ring of death!

Scarychips · « **Reply #35 on:** 28 Jul 2009, 22:06 »

Better: The Lord of the Rings
Worse: Sonic and the Secret Rings

ynneK: Practical jokes on friends

Joseph · « **Reply #36 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 00:57 »

Just Better: Practical jokes on politicians.
Just Worse: Lying to a forum full of people for five years, faking every aspect of your life, and stealing photos from some random person's photobucket account to be extra convincing.

The Kenny: Wearing sandals.

pwhodges · « **Reply #37 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 01:04 »

A brief intermission:

Quote from: Joseph on 29 Jul 2009, 00:57

stealing photos from some random person's photobucket account to be extra convincing.

See what this can lead to...

Just better: Bare Feet
Just Worse: Sandals with Socks
The Kenny: Rolled up jeans

Christophe · « **Reply #38 on:** 29 Jul 2009, 23:45 »

Just Better: Getting jeans that fit your size
Just Worse: All those holes that tear from your shoes at the end of your jeans
(this is sadly a pertinent issue for me)

Kenny Only: The ability to focus a sneeze into one long stream of mucus

Zingoleb · « **Reply #39 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 00:19 »

Just better: The ability to focus a sneeze into one long stream of consciousness
Just worse: The ability to focus a sneeze into one long stream of mucus, but only at job interviews

The Kenny: St. Anger

Jace · « **Reply #40 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 00:37 »

Just better: Any other drummer playing any song from any album before St. Anger
Just worse: Death Magnetic

The Kenny: Risk: The Game of Global Domination!

scarred · « **Reply #41 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 02:17 »

Just better: Stratego
Just worse: Communist Monopoly

The Kenny: Surprise buttsecks

Zingoleb · « **Reply #42 on:** 30 Jul 2009, 02:53 »

Just better: Planned buttsecks
Just worse: Ruined-the-surprise buttsecks

The Kenny: Fried sweet potatoes

Avec · « **Reply #43 on:** 01 Aug 2009, 16:47 »

Just better: French fries
Just worse: Fried pineapple

The Kenny: Terrible phone connection

LTK · « **Reply #44 on:** 01 Aug 2009, 17:00 »

Just better: Huge satellite phones
Just worse: Dial-up internet connection

The Kenny: A toilet clogged with toilet paper.

Jace · « **Reply #45 on:** 01 Aug 2009, 18:15 »

Just better: an unclogged toilet
Just worse: a toilet clogged with shit. Shit that stinks.

The kenny: game stores.

est · « **Reply #46 on:** 01 Aug 2009, 18:34 »

Just better: Entertainment chains where you can buy the same games for $10 cheaper on release day without having to pre-order
Just worse: Games Workshop stores.

The Kenny: Unemployment

Jace · « **Reply #47 on:** 01 Aug 2009, 18:38 »

Fun note to add onto est's post: I am currently in an independent retailer for Games Workshop products and I can't leave because I am supposedly working the store. There are at least 5 people that I want to stab repeatedly. 6 if you count me.

the_pied_piper · « **Reply #48 on:** 01 Aug 2009, 18:39 »

Just better: Employment
Just worse: Deployment

The kenny: Lost in the Amazon

Scarychips · « **Reply #49 on:** 01 Aug 2009, 21:28 »

Just Better: My Girls
Just Worse: Girls Boys

The Kenny: Learning how to ride a bike.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: The Kenny (2009 Reboot) (Read 6222 times)

Zingoleb

Zingoleb

Zingoleb