Don't use an image in your signature. (+1)
You can't combine "realistic damage simulation" and "realistic flight simulation". Flight sims, by their very nature, don't include post-extreme damage because simulation after that point is unnecessary: if you get in that situation, no amount of experience or skill will help you, and you will die.
As far as I'm aware, the most realistic and by most counts best flight simulator available is the latest version of Microsoft Flight Simulator. The same basic engine is used to train pilots, I believe.