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[Johnny C]

weird thing i've discovered: youtube is full of people who still think gary oldman is like super sexy in 2010. i'm serious. this is a completely insane thing to me. and this rabbit hole runs perplexingly, befuddlingly deep. look at this:

fan video about how sexy he is

I loved your video and love Gary then and now, I bet he is as charming now as he was in his 30s, more so even. there is something about him ,he seems somehow sensitive and dirty all at the same time. A true committed actor, there are so few of them today. thank you for this video.
630jkl 7 months ago 2

I fancy Gary Oldman like mad and my fiance doesn't understand it as Iam only 21 and he's alot older . I don't know what it is about him but I find him incredibly sexy
Haimfan 1 year ago 7

photo-based tribute to his hands

oh my goodness he could put his hands on me ANYDAY. That was one of the first things I noticed about him.
captivatedlady 6 months ago

what is this

I would do the same thing to Oldman he is so sex on legs man I fucking love this man he's like a fountain of endless flowing talent!
urmomszkweel 2 months ago

I can't get enough of this video. The combination of Gary's incredibly sexy acting (especially with his eyes) and the music is truly haunting. Lena Olin is overwhelming too and the best female partner he ever had. Their chemistry is almost wicked
moonaa666 1 year ago 6

dude even has a photoshoot with milla fucking jovovich and all the comments are about, well,

      How can Milla do this photo shoot without looking like a tard!? If I were I were in her position, EVERY picture would have Gary looking all sexy and cool and I'd be making the "holy shit" face.

      :O yea that face lol
      mindlesschilipepper 1 year ago 29

      Gary Oldman takes my breath away. I love him.
      ladybadgirl 2 years ago 27

what's especially weird is that it looks like several commenters are on multiple videos. like there's a gary oldman sex worship community on youtube. the implications are staggering. how far does this extend into their daily lives? is there like a gary oldman is sexy webforum or something? a mailing list? do these people try and attend gary oldman-centric public events? why gary oldman?

this is consuming me.

[Johnny C]

post your horrifying it-can't-be-unlearned gary oldman knowledge & favourite youtube vids here. let's make this thread the #1 repository for weirdo 2011 gary oldman fetishists

[Josefbugman]

Your wondering about someone's odd sex things on the internet...

Quite frankly I am more fascinated by your reaction to harmless "window shopping" than to the people who like Gary Oldman. I mean one of my IRL friends has a thing for Alan Rickman and Simon Cowell, does that bother you in anyway?

[Lummer]

To be fair, Alan Rickman is absolutely dashing.

[Johnny C]

who said it "bothers" me? i just find it really funny.

[David_Dovey]

who's the broad

[Blue Kitty]

Until a year or two ago I never knew the guy that played Sirius Black also played Commissioner Gordon.

[Lupercal]

he has nice hair

(I'll be honest, I've only known him since the Batman series reboot)

[Lines]

I love Gary Oldman. I mean, I don't worship him as a sex god or anything, but I think he's rather good looking and I like watching him in films. (He's on my list of British actors I love listening to.) And he's a good actor. At least it's an older, actually GOOD actor instead of like...Twilight people. Specifically Taylor Lautner. (He looks funny! And he's terrible!)

[Johnny C]

maybe i haven't explained this right. have you guys looked at the videos? some of the gary oldman is sexy videos out there, they are the person's only video. their account comments almost exclusively on gary oldman videos. there are like numerous accounts like this. their entire online identity is like linked to how sexy they think gary oldman is. like, think about that for a second. really think about it. try to imagine life where, instead of posting about music and culture and news and politics and everything you post about on here, the whole of your online life is like an intensely focused laser beam of gary oldman worship. everything you talk and think about is a gary oldman reference. all other actors and individuals, you are comparing them constantly to gary oldman. whenever you go on youtube, you are looking up gary oldman videos and commenting on them. you have spent time in your life looking explicitly for clips of gary oldman to set to sexy music on youtube. that is your public engagement with culture.

are you thinking about that? think about this: imagine all of your posts, on this forum. go back and look at a page of your post history. now mentally insert a gary oldman reference into every single post. this is someone's actual life. this is the actual life of several people!

how come i have to explain what is funny about this

[Johnny C]

like, read the first paragraph of the previous post, but imagine that it is a prospective romantic partner. imagine that you are otherwise quite attracted to this person but you discover this after months of dating. would that be a dealbreaker?

[Lines]

Johnny, I get it. I got it when I read the first post. Yes, it's funny in a sad way. But you know, someone could waste their time over worse actors. Like...pick the worst actor you can think of replace Gary Oldman with him. It makes it funnier.

[Johnny C]

clarification: upon reflection, you realize it hasn't come out of nowhere. after watching some gary oldman movies you begin to recognize gary oldman quotes that have made their way into conversation, and you further realize that whenever you watch a movie or a tv show it either has featured gary oldman in some capacity or has been separated by no less than three degrees to gary oldman. gary oldman film philosophy has heavily informed this person's life. you also realize that when your partner said something that sounded like "gary" when you were having sex a couple of weeks ago it wasn't just something getting caught in their throat.

[David_Dovey]

Don't force it Johnny

[KharBevNor]

This thread is too high-concept, but not in a particularly good way.

Like it's trying to be Jaws but actually it's Lesbian Vampire Killers

[Josefbugman]

Oh thats just cruel, this thread is good in a "so bad its good" sort of way, like the opening speech from Plan 9.

[öde]

The Gary?

It says "Buy now $5 USD" and I read it as $5 USED, as in pre-owned, which confused me greatly as it's a digital download.

[calenlass]

Until a year or two ago I never knew the guy that played Sirius Black also played Commissioner Gordon.

I never knew either of these things. I have never seen any of his other movies. I think he is pretty much zero attractive?

I am going to go make a fan vid about how much I love him, though. Just for Johnny.

[Cartilage Head]

 I think it is important to take into count the media's recent obsession with all things vampire. Oldman played Dracula, and obviously lots of young women, their appetites whetted by Twilight, immediately sought out new vampire movies for fuel. Seeing Oldman as youngish Dracula likely influenced these girls' opinions of him moreso than first seeing him in The Dark Knight or something.

 Also, you do understand that any and all Harry Potter characters and the actors that play them are heavily sexualized by the fan base? Especially a dark character like Sirius Black?

[KvP]

For the ladies with very particular fetishes, theres' Gary Oldman as little person! Probably one of the most baffling films I've ever come across. Like you just imagine everyone in cast & crew stopping themselves on at least one occasion and thinking "wait a second, this is literally the most ridiculous and tasteless thing I have ever encountered".

[Yunior]

All I've taken away from this thread is that Gary Oldman's way dreamier than I'd originally given him credit for.

Why were you looking at sexy Gary Oldman fan videos, Johnny?

[Elizzybeth]

For the ladies with very particular fetishes, theres' Gary Oldman as little person! Probably one of the most baffling films I've ever come across. Like you just imagine everyone in cast & crew stopping themselves on at least one occasion and thinking "wait a second, this is literally the most ridiculous and tasteless thing I have ever encountered".

What the fuck.  I got halfway through that article--and had seen half of the attached video clips--before I realized that it was not a joke and they actually made a movie about little people with Gary Oldman in the key role.  I don't even...

edit: Also, according to IMDB, the entire plot is a plot hole:

Plot holes: Steve is worried that his son might inherit the gene for dwarfism and become a dwarf himself. For the overwhelmingly most common form of dwarfism (known as "achondroplasia"), it is only possible to inherit the gene if either parent is a dwarf, which is obviously not the case. For the less common forms of heritable dwarfism, it is only possible to have a dwarf child if BOTH parents' families have a history of dwarfism, and the film does not show Carol's family to have such a history. In fact, Steve being the only average-sized individual from a family of dwarfs makes it overwhelmingly likely that he did NOT inherit any genes for dwarfism and therefore has a next-to-nothing chance of having a dwarf child.

[BeoPuppy]

Come on, people ... Zorg! oldman played Zorg! How awesome does he need to be?

[bainidhe_dub]

Seriously!

Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg,

[Johnny C]

All I've taken away from this thread is that Gary Oldman's way dreamier than I'd originally given him credit for.

Why were you looking at sexy Gary Oldman fan videos, Johnny?

the "gary oldman sex on fire" was a related link to kvp's vid, which i was reading somewhere as part of an article on inexplicable casting decisions

[onewheelwizzard]

So my girlfriend happened to be looking over my shoulder when I opened this thread, and she started laughing hysterically because for a second she thought all the YouTube comments in the first post were actually referring to Gary Coleman