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Author Topic: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)  (Read 107595 times)

Kugai

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Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« on: 30 Nov 2009, 22:42 »

Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls

My one and only comment on the whole sorry mess.


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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #1 on: 30 Nov 2009, 22:57 »

I lol'd.

Seriously, the whole Twilight thing has gotten so out of hand. I'm not a fan or a hater, so sitting back and watching the chaos would be majorly entertaining if it wasn't so much eroding my already flimsy faith in humanity.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #2 on: 30 Nov 2009, 22:58 »

My thoughts on the matter.

Did that picture merit a whole thread? I know any Twilight thread is going to end with it being ripped apart and shat on and I would probably be one of the people pointing out how terrible it is, but seriously, couldn't that have gone in the pointless thread (where it has actually already been posted before anyway)? What did you want to come out of this thread?

Also, the New Moon movie was ridiculously, hilariously, stupid.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #3 on: 30 Nov 2009, 23:01 »

As long as Rifftrax keeps doing overdubs on these movies, I'll keep renting them. That shit is hilar.
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Kugai

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #4 on: 30 Nov 2009, 23:06 »

My thoughts on the matter.

Did that picture merit a whole thread? I know any Twilight thread is going to end with it being ripped apart and shat on and I would probably be one of the people pointing out how terrible it is, but seriously, couldn't that have gone in the pointless thread (where it has actually already been posted before anyway)? What did you want to come out of this thread?

Also, the New Moon movie was ridiculously, hilariously, stupid.

OK

Eris, I didn't see your Thread - Honest.

And I did look.

Maybe I need glasses.
« Last Edit: 30 Nov 2009, 23:09 by Kugai »
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #5 on: 30 Nov 2009, 23:10 »

I know that came off kinda bitchy and all, the thread was on maybe the 5th page or something. It was the top (under this thread) result when i searched for Twilight, though. I am genuinely interested in what you wanted to come out of this thread, though. Were you just expecting everyone to say how much they hate the series?
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Kugai

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #6 on: 30 Nov 2009, 23:14 »

No, I just didn't realise or see there was already a Twilight Thread, so I thought I'd start one.


Your opinion's your own - All I did was state mine and if I'd known or actually seen there was one, (a Thread that is), I would have stuck that pic there.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #7 on: 30 Nov 2009, 23:45 »



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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #8 on: 30 Nov 2009, 23:54 »

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Kugai

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #9 on: 01 Dec 2009, 00:00 »

*Spork Spork Spork*


What has been seen . . . . . .
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #10 on: 01 Dec 2009, 00:07 »

CANNOT BE UNSEEN



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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #11 on: 01 Dec 2009, 02:50 »

Crossposting 'cos it's actually relevant in this thread

I do however virulently hate Twilight  because it's not just a really poorly written book with a lot of creepily dedicated fans (bad enough, but certainly nothing new) but because it's a book aimed at young girls which glorifies a lot of really unhealthy attitudes towards relationships, sex and self-worth. All of the fuss over Harry Potter gave me the shits but I think Twilight is actually harmful to society, so it nspires more than the usual vitriol.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #12 on: 01 Dec 2009, 14:57 »

Aw Dovey I just wanted to see the funny things not the serious shit


fap fap fap unf unf unf
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #13 on: 01 Dec 2009, 15:21 »

That condom must be the most effective contraceptive in existence.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #14 on: 01 Dec 2009, 15:25 »

I would totally love to have a discussion about how Twilight is a horrible thing for young girls to read and emulate. I just saw New Moon and dear god the number of times both Edward and Jacob threaten or abuse Bella is mind-boggling.  She falls completely and utterly in love in 3 months to guys who treat her like crap, threaten her life constantly, and abuse her all the same.  But she "loves" them and wants to be with them no matter what because Edward "loves" her too.  Or something like that.  And if one more parent tells me that teenage girls don't pick up on that and emulate it I will strangle them.  It seems no one understands teenagers less than mothers of teenagers.

And now that my tirade is over, New Moon is not nearly as good as Twilight for the lulz.  Mainly because it's longer.  And filled with scenes that are useless.  The acting is still horrible.  
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #15 on: 01 Dec 2009, 16:23 »

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #16 on: 01 Dec 2009, 16:28 »

Twilight fans are the bottom-feeders of the world. I forget who mentioned it before, but the cliche totally fits as the fans of the series have never really read any other book.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #17 on: 01 Dec 2009, 16:31 »

People on this board have read twilight
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #18 on: 01 Dec 2009, 16:47 »

I apologize for the sweeping generalization; the kids at my school have never read a book besides Twilight.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #19 on: 01 Dec 2009, 17:15 »

I've got a friend that loves the twilight books. The only other books I know him to have read voluntarily are 1984 and Sir Apropos of Nothing. I can't figure out how those three are connected.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #20 on: 01 Dec 2009, 17:21 »

Beat you to the punch.



But seriously, Twilight is one of the most ridiculous series ever and I get many a laugh from it.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #21 on: 01 Dec 2009, 17:27 »


"Stay away from me Bella!"
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #22 on: 01 Dec 2009, 19:11 »

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #23 on: 01 Dec 2009, 19:32 »

I don't understand what is happening here:

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #24 on: 01 Dec 2009, 20:04 »

They were probably dicking around and trying to forget that they are in for another whole movie of the same shit. Neither of them like the series.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #25 on: 01 Dec 2009, 22:24 »

Quote
Quote
All of the fuss over Harry Potter gave me the shits but I think Twilight is actually harmful to society, so it inspires more than the usual vitriol.

Please. Twilight's as harmful to society as Harry Potter, Jane Eyre, Transformers, or Star Wars.

This article does a pretty stellar job of explaining just why the Twilight series is detrimental to society.

Choice excerpts:

Quote
Bella spends the rest of the book going crazy, imagining Edward's voice and partaking in ever more self-destructive activities. During this time she befriends Jacob Black, who turns out to be a werewolf but is still way better for her than Edward. She finally regains Edward's attention after she deliberately jumps off a cliff and almost dies. Edward, being a thirteen-year-old girl, thinks Bella has died and goes to Italy to commit suicide. He attempts to do this by exposing himself to the sun at noon in an Italian town. Since sunlight doesn't actually harm Twilight vampires, one must assume that Edward is hoping some macho Italians will see him in at full sparkle and beat him to death for being gay.

Bella teams up with Edward's sister Alice, who turns out to be straight and taken but is still way better for her than Edward, to rescue her ex from his emoness. After a crazy mix up that finds Bella and Edward temporarily in an Anne Rice novel, Edward reaccepts her.

This novel thus teaches two important lessons to young girls everywhere:

1) If a guy dumps you and says he doesn't love you anymore, he doesn't mean it. All you have to do is beg and destroy your life to prove that you really love him, and he'll come right back and love you even more!

2) It is perfectly cool to string along innocent but decent guys who are crushing on you and then dump them immediately as soon as your ex-boyfriend reappears, and totally normal if said ex-boyfriend forbids you from seeing your old friend. After all, your love for your ex must be far stronger, because he makes you feel 'alive' and 'dangerous' since he's always on the verge of killing you. And stalking you. We can't really mention that enough.

Quote
The plot revolves around a villain from the first book, who is stalking Bella. But this is just a background to the real plot, which is about Edward stalking Bella. The book focuses on the choice Bella must make between Jacob Black and Edward Cullen, two tall, good-looking, devoted men with cool supernatural abilities. This is exactly the kind of problem that normal women face every day.

Halfway through, Stephenie Meyer realizes that Jacob Black is far cooler than Edward and performs a quick character assassination by having him mouth-rape her. Bella punches him and runs away, but later discovers she loves him, which teaches us more lessons:

1) If a girl says she doesn't love you, just keep sexually assaulting her. Eventually she'll realize she likes it.

2) Leading two guys on for years because you 'love them both' is perfectly acceptable, as long as you feel really bad about it at some point.

Quote
Right before they have sex, Meyer remembers that she's writing out her fantasies for an audience now, and so she abruptly pulls a PG-13 "fade-to-black", disappointing any male Twilight fans who were hoping for a closer look at Edward.

When Bella wakes up, she is covered in feathers because the sex was so rough and passionate that Edward bit a pillow. Then Edward points out that Bella is covered in bruises. She brushes off his concern and then the two of them whine about how unhappy they are now because they've made each other unhappy by being unhappy, and then we kind of stopped reading for a couple of minutes. But we learned a few more things:

1) It doesn't matter if he hurts you

2) He only did it because he loves you.

Excluding all the questionable sex, you might start to think that maybe this book isn't an entirely bad influence on teenage girls, with its 'don't go to bed with anyone unless he has proven that he loves you' message. And then Stephenie Meyer takes that trust, uses it to get your address and credit card numbers, and then breaks into your house and poisons your dog.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #26 on: 02 Dec 2009, 00:25 »

Agatha Christie books aren't targeted at tweens.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #27 on: 02 Dec 2009, 02:56 »

Man, that is some bull shit. After reading a book, most people do not go on to lead their life as if they were the lead character of the book. Those are good arguments when discussing Twilight as a literary work (and possibly when discussing the mind of Stephanie Meyer), but I think calling the books "detrimental to society" is way harsh. In this way you could argue that Agatha Christie novels are detrimental to society because it presents murder as an upper-class puzzle game.

That's rather different though, since that aspect of the books isn't practical to emulate. Even if you did decide to be like Poirot people are unlikely to start mysteriously dying every time you go on holiday and attempts to involve yourself in any cases that do arise will be quashed due to your unfortunate lack of an international reputation as a Belgian super-sleuth with a superb moustache. If a murder investigation was something people were very likely to find themselves in without warning then Agathe Christie might have been remiss to suggest there will always be enough evidence to identify the murderer and they'll be certain to fall for the trap you lay to force them into giving themselves away and never, ever bump you off at the first available opportunity.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #28 on: 02 Dec 2009, 04:12 »

Man, that is some bull shit. After reading a book, most people do not go on to lead their life as if they were the lead character of the book.
[...]
You are forgetting that children are stupid.
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David_Dovey

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #29 on: 02 Dec 2009, 07:42 »

Large amounts of people aren't creepily obsessed with Agatha Christie books (as far as I know), either.
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Liz

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #30 on: 02 Dec 2009, 08:08 »

More pictures of Rpattz and Kristen Stewart behaving oddly in a field, please.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #31 on: 02 Dec 2009, 09:21 »

Large amounts of people aren't creepily obsessed with Agatha Christie books (as far as I know), either.

How come every time I see your avatar I think it's Rick Astley
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David_Dovey

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #32 on: 02 Dec 2009, 09:23 »

Because you've got awful taste in music
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Zingoleb

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #33 on: 02 Dec 2009, 09:23 »

It's true. I totally bought a Rick Astley tape yesterday for 10 cents.

I'm more sort of  used to seeing Clapton with the beard/long hair/Cream look
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David_Dovey

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #34 on: 02 Dec 2009, 09:26 »

I honestly can't tell whether yr being facetious or not
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Zingoleb

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #35 on: 02 Dec 2009, 09:29 »

Not in the slightest. I also got two swing tapes, some Mendelssohn and some Rachmaninov, but I couldn't pass up buying "Never Gonna Give You Up" for a dime.
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David_Dovey

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #36 on: 02 Dec 2009, 09:34 »

No the Clapton thing (it's Elvis Costello, dogg)
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Zingoleb

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #37 on: 02 Dec 2009, 09:37 »

Oh shit








Oh shit you're right

I am terrible at identifying people with no facial features to speak of, I swear

I feel stupid
« Last Edit: 02 Dec 2009, 09:47 by Zingoleb »
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JD

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #38 on: 02 Dec 2009, 11:45 »

I thought it was Buddy Holly.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #39 on: 02 Dec 2009, 12:35 »

I'd turn down all three for the role of Edward Cullen myself.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #40 on: 02 Dec 2009, 13:07 »

Well obviously nobody will do anything like that just because a fictional character did and no one book or film could ever be held responsible for someone getting hurt, but surely you don't think culture has no effect on people's behaviour or thinking?
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #41 on: 02 Dec 2009, 14:49 »

Quote
Yesterday night I couldnt go to sleep because my crush had denied me so I grabbed my Eclipse book and read where Edward said “You are the only one who has touched my heart, It will always be yours, sleep my only love.” and I pretended I was Bella and cried myself to sleep. Edward is perfect. MLIT

Quote
Yesterday morning, I told my boyfriend that he should come into my house through my window like Edward to watch me sleep. He did. MLIT!!

Quote
Sigh...I'm seriously considering breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 years because I want to be loved the way Edward loves Bella. Does that even exist anymore?

Quote
Today, I had to have blood drawn. When I very nearly fainted afterwards (much like Bella and blood-typing), I secretly wished Edward would appear to carry me and cool my head with his icy hands. MLIT.

MLIT
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #42 on: 02 Dec 2009, 14:50 »

So are you guys Team Edward or Team Jacob?

Team Jacob for life, T. Laut is such a total babe.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #43 on: 02 Dec 2009, 15:34 »

Team Edward because my name is Edward and fuck you
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #44 on: 02 Dec 2009, 15:40 »

Jacob is arguably ten times hotter than Edward. No joke.

That being said both of them can suck a dick. Probably each other's to avoid contaminating anyone else.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #45 on: 02 Dec 2009, 15:44 »

Would pay to see this
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #46 on: 02 Dec 2009, 15:47 »

Probably each other's to avoid contaminating anyone else.

This is going to make such a great plot twist for my fanfic, thanks Liz.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #47 on: 02 Dec 2009, 17:27 »

I'm Team Tyler's Van. The whole damn series could have been over within the first 100 pages of the first book if Edward hadn't gotten there in time.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #48 on: 02 Dec 2009, 17:39 »

Quote
Yesterday night I couldnt go to sleep because my crush had denied me so I grabbed my Eclipse book and read where Edward said “You are the only one who has touched my heart, It will always be yours, sleep my only love.” and I pretended I was Bella and cried myself to sleep. Edward is perfect. MLIT

Quote
Yesterday morning, I told my boyfriend that he should come into my house through my window like Edward to watch me sleep. He did. MLIT!!

Quote
Sigh...I'm seriously considering breaking up with my boyfriend of 4 years because I want to be loved the way Edward loves Bella. Does that even exist anymore?

Quote
Today, I had to have blood drawn. When I very nearly fainted afterwards (much like Bella and blood-typing), I secretly wished Edward would appear to carry me and cool my head with his icy hands. MLIT.

MLIT


oh, god I hate being right.
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Re: Twilight (Sorry for cursing)
« Reply #49 on: 02 Dec 2009, 21:39 »

Agatha Christie books aren't targeted at tweens.

er, neither are the Twilight books, dude.

Yes they are.  Last year I worked as both a middle and high school teacher.  The youngest student (among hundreds) I saw reading a Shitfuck* was 12.  The eldest was 15.  When I expand the circle of people I know who have read Shitfuck*, I am forced to include my friend Sara, who is 30, and who dropped out of college to work at Disneyworld before getting pregnant and moving back in with her parents.

Twilight is the world of First Crush, wherein the person who you adore who is beautiful who can do no wrong is THE ONE. 

And THE ONE happens to be a creepy, abusive proto-rapist.

*Twilight
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