An orchestra is engaged on a long tour of Europe. It's all going as smoothly as can be expected until, with three weeks to go, the conductor suddenly and unexpectedly falls ill on the day of a performance. Desperately, the tour manager calls a meeting of all the players and asks if any of them can fill in for that night's performance. Just for tonight, he promises them: after tonight we'll find a proper replacement conductor for the rest of the tour. As it turns out, the only member of the orchestra who volunteers for the job is the first viola player. The rest of the players are sceptical, but with no other volunteers the viola player gets the job. Well - he's a sensation! A prodigy! The other members of the orchestra are amazed; the audience members are astonished; the critics are falling over themselves reaching for superlatives. The next day everyone agrees that the first viola player should keep the conducting job for the remainder of the tour, and so he does - until the last night of the tour, by which time the original conductor has recovered sufficiently to resume his job. Reluctantly, but proud of his achievement, the viola player returns to his first viola chair, whereupon the second viola player turns to him and says:
"Where have you been for the last three weeks?"
