-Slick invented 6 out of the top 10 best selling board games of all time. However, the company is actually a cover for the secret funding of research into new laminate technologies that will allow him to turn every person in the world into a chrome dome, permanently.
-Stephen Kind didn't actually split his tongue, he was born that way. This is because he is actually half dragon, the Geek Life tattoo on his chest is actually a birthmark and the cold, gray morning when he was born was marked by the passage of a twin-tailed comet crossing the sky. His birth was the fulfillment of an ancient prophecy 10,000 years old that says he will one day lead the geeks of the world to unite under their own banner and form a new nation.
-Joe Hocking didn't write the prophecy.