Marten's such a lightweight, a summer breeze gave him a blackeye.
Marten's so wimpy, he was KO'd by an ant.
Marten has no true heartbeat; as his weak-ass heart was removed and replaced with Daft Punk beats.
There are 15 little schoolgirls right now who have Marten listed on their cellphone contacts as 'The Bitch'.
Marten's the first object known to science which exerts negative motional force on other objects.
Marten once tried to play a sport. That sport was chess. He collapsed on the fifth move.
Marten has twice been misidentified as the
Slender Man.
Marten once tried to play a game of tiddlywinks and was laid up for three weeks.
Marten bought a pull-up bar, and installed it on the floor.
Finally, care should be taken, as looking directly at Marten causes bruising.