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[ouch!]

Myself: I am a living weapon, at least until I become a dead supper.

1 (1.7%)

A chain-saw: good enough for Ash, good enough for me. What do you mean, that was ‘just a movie’?

3 (5.2%)

Butterfly knives: slice ‘n dice, baybee! shing shing ouch!

3 (5.2%)

A three lb. Australian Cricket War-bat—good for smashin’, bashin’, and pretty much discombobulating a zombie. (Also, it doesn’t have an edge, so I can’t cut myself like I did with the butterfly knives).

11 (19%)

Tire-iron or crowbar—I’m a back-to-basics kind of zombie fighter.

9 (15.5%)

A twelve gauge shotgun, because when I’m out of ammo, I don’t want to live any more, anyway.

15 (25.9%)

A halberd. Keeps the icky bits away from me. Of course, I sleep with it.

16 (27.6%)

Total Members Voted: 47

[Shadic]

And Shadic...what did you expect?

I have no idea. I guess people love their lesbians and hate angus. 

[akronnick]

I just had a thought.

I'm not sure if it's a good thought or a bad thought.

It's just a thought.

If Faye were to hook up with Tai, then that would mean that Marten was dating Faye's boss, while Faye was dating Marten's boss.

Now, I'm not endorsing, condoning, or advocating such a situation, but, if such an event were to come to pass, it would make Faye's chart in Dr. Corrine's office a LOT more interesting!

[Kugai]

But if that were to happen then would Dora want to join in?

And if that were true, would that mean Marten gets to lay Faye?

And would that cause Hanners to snap and seek terrible and protracted revenge?

And would that mean they would have to turn to Steve and DOKYA?




Do you think I've had too much Coffee?

[akronnick]

Either too much, or not NEARLY enough!

[Akima]

Sir Alex was saying the lines too.

Sir Alec.

[Akima]

Should we be hanging pictures while drunk? What could go wrong?

There must be something about combining booze and home improvements that appeals to cartoonists.

[Carl-E]

Akima, What's that from?  I've seen that character somewhere...

[Akima]

From Planet Karen, one of my favourite webcomics. I have "quoted" Karen Ellis here before. Sadly updates have become very irregular.

[westrim]

You deserve a year on Rura Penthe for that

Ooh, that's cold! How about someplace hot, say, Vulcan? *whistles*

[vettechinohio]

You deserve a year on Rura Penthe for that

Ooh, that's cold! How about someplace hot, say, Vulcan? *whistles*

Didn't you watch the movie? Vulcan was destroyed!

Please don't hit me!

[Kugai]

Only if you accept that that was an AU

[MIB4u]

oh great, there we go...

(there go the Faye/Tai shippers...)

[Carl-E]

Where?  Where?  WHERE??

Oh, there. 

[St.Clair]

"Curse my high body temperature!"

[raoullefere]

I can't figure out how to make a poll out of this, but I liked it too much not to make you guys read it (plus it's on topic). So:

“What could possibly go wrong?” was most likely said:

• While finalizing plans to fill the Hindenburg with hydrogen and paint it with thermite.
• Just before trying to restock Titanic’s ice supply mid-cruise for the weenies who wanted their scotch on the rocks.
• Upon realizing after casting Kevin Coster* as the title character of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves that no one had asked him to demonstrate his English accent.
• Right after shelling out $100 million to Coster and the director of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves to make Waterworld
• Seconds before the Super Bowl XXXVIII half-time show upon realizing it hadn’t been explained to Justin Timberlake that “I’m gonna get you naked” was supposed to be a joke.

*Yes, I do know there's an 'N' in 'Costner.' I also know he and whosname spent 175 mill, but 100 million was their original budget.

[westrim]

Only if you accept that that was an AU

I accept that in a third universe a person who is definitely not me sailed in with few Death Stars and a Sun Crusher and blasted Nero's whiny ass before Vulcan died.

Too bad about those Klingon ships, though.

I can't figure out how to make a poll out of this, but I liked it too much not to make you guys read it (plus it's on topic). So:

“What could possibly go wrong?” was most likely said:

• While finalizing plans to fill the Hindenburg with hydrogen and paint it with thermite.
• Just before trying to restock Titanic’s ice supply mid-cruise for the weenies who wanted their scotch on the rocks.
• Upon realizing after casting Kevin Coster* as the title character of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves that no one had asked him to demonstrate his English accent.
• Right after shelling out $100 million to Coster and the director of Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves to make Waterworld
• Seconds before the Super Bowl XXXVIII half-time show upon realizing it hadn’t been explained to Justin Timberlake that “I’m gonna get you naked” was supposed to be a joke.

*Yes, I do know there's an 'N' in 'Costner.' I also know he and whosname spent 175 mill, but that was their original budget.
[/list]

Gonna go with the Hindenburg, because that actually happened and there were people involved that actually realized it was a Bad Idea.

[raoullefere]

Tonight's poll has the advantage of offering choices rather than commentary.
 Yesterday's poll results:
Biggest problem for humans involved in robosexual relationships:
1. You are almost certain your partner’s faking it most of the time.    - 4 (8.2%)
2. Unlike the Lovedoll people, you have to put up with annoying back-talk.    - 9 (18.4%)
3. Discovering existence of online video of you your partner uploaded after it’s been removed, but not before it’s been downloaded millions of times.    - 4 (8.2%)
4. When your partner uses the ‘not tonight, I have a headache’ excuse, it’s either a lie or an expensive repair job.    - 11 (22.4%)
5. There’s always the risk your partner is blogging your efforts as you make them.    - 8 (16.3%)
6. Discovering the online video of you your partner uploaded is considered so tame YouTube didn’t bother removing it.    - 13 (26.5%)

I would never have guessed #6 would win.

[jwhouk]

I just had a thought.

I'm not sure if it's a good thought or a bad thought.

It's just a thought.

If Faye were to hook up with Tai, then that would mean that Marten was dating Faye's boss, while Faye was dating Marten's boss.

Now, I'm not endorsing, condoning, or advocating such a situation, but, if such an event were to come to pass, it would make Faye's chart in Dr. Corrine's office a LOT more interesting!

She'd need more yarn.

And more thumbtacks.

And a bigger board.

[dilbert719]

I just had a thought.

I'm not sure if it's a good thought or a bad thought.

It's just a thought.

If Faye were to hook up with Tai, then that would mean that Marten was dating Faye's boss, while Faye was dating Marten's boss.

Now, I'm not endorsing, condoning, or advocating such a situation, but, if such an event were to come to pass, it would make Faye's chart in Dr. Corrine's office a LOT more interesting!

She'd need more yarn.

And more thumbtacks.

And a bigger board.

At the rate things are going, she'd need n-dimensional hyperspace and string theory to plot this out.

[jwhouk]

Hey now... the strip-by-strip summary is ONLY 20 pages, so it shouldn't be THAT hard.

[jwhouk]

queer card played and trumped.

Come on, Faye, put the little bint through the wall already.

Seriously. I used to like Tai all right, but her "waaah waaah I'm so lonely and horny won't somebody FUCK ME preferably Dora but I'll take Faye JUST FUCK MEEEE" shtick is getting really old. Time for her to be put on a bus, at least for a bit.

I knew that, if I looked over there long enough, I'd find The Appropriate TV Trope for Tai.

[westrim]

queer card played and trumped.

Come on, Faye, put the little bint through the wall already.

Seriously. I used to like Tai all right, but her "waaah waaah I'm so lonely and horny won't somebody FUCK ME preferably Dora but I'll take Faye JUST FUCK MEEEE" shtick is getting really old. Time for her to be put on a bus, at least for a bit.

I knew that, if I looked over there long enough, I'd find The Appropriate TV Trope for Tai.

Man, I'd like to see that page. Gayngst sounds hilarious, but sad ban is sad.  
Maybe you can put in a good word for me?

[BeoPuppy]

Shippers and Trekkies get out of my way,
Don't wanna buy one of your slash fics today.

[no one special]

hahaha!  Love the way Tai is gettin' served in panel 3!  Hilarious, cute, and awesome   

[Border Reiver]

Why does Hanners even own a cricket bat?  She doesn't strike me as the sort to play (not being English or Indian) and there are better home defence pseudo clubs.

[Carl-E]

Lighter weight and easier to swing edge-on than a baseball bat, and it has an edge. 

So does a katana, but you won't cut yourself on a cricket bat. 

[wargrafix]

Now read today's comic and damn it was hilarious.

I approve of hanners weapon choice since I live in a country dominated by cricket, lol

I see the Faytai shiippers are emerging.........

[Rimwolf]

Aaaw, Marten's pain star in panel 2 has a sad face...

[philharmonic]

Hmmm I was thinking.. perhaps Fay was like  "shure your cute and all but get off damnit ... besides i prefer the sausage. Jeez!". And then I was thinking at my house we have lots of fleece blankets around the living room furniture so it might have been more like a "hmm you cold? here have a blankey!"

[Mark7]

I'd like to know why Hanners has a cricket bat for such occasions and not the more traditional All AMERICAN baseball bat.

[Akima]

I'd like to know why Hanners has a cricket bat for such occasions and not the more traditional All AMERICAN baseball bat.

Statistics, published uninterrupted even by war, since 1864, would make cricket the perfect game for Hanners. But who says the bat belongs to her anyway? She's in Faye/Marten/Dora's flat, not her own, and I doubt she carries it around tucked in her trackies.

[Mr_Rose]

Hmmm I was thinking.. perhaps Fay was like  "shure your cute and all but get off damnit ... besides i prefer the sausage. Jeez!". And then I was thinking at my house we have lots of fleece blankets around the living room furniture so it might have been more like a "hmm you cold? here have a blankey!"

Now dear, could you be ever so brave and, on the doll, point to the places where the bad punctuation touched you?

I'd like to know why Hanners has a cricket bat for such occasions and not the more traditional All AMERICAN baseball bat.

It's part of her Zombie Invasion Preparedness Package; it has been statistically proven that the cricket bat is the superior anti-zombie hand-to-hand weapon after extensive testing in central Australia.

[jwhouk]

I suspect that the only television feed she could get on the space station was the BBC, so cricket is probably her sport.

And I suspect the idea of wearing all white, well-bleached clothing with plenty of protection appealed to her as well.

[Caleb]

I really like Hanners's facial expression in panel 4.  The facial expressions in this comic keep on getting better and better.

[Caliban]

Man, I'd like to see that page. Gayngst sounds hilarious, but sad ban is sad.  
Maybe you can put in a good word for me?

Here's the main gist of it:

"You show me a happy homosexual and I'll show you a gay corpse."
—Michael, The Boys In The Band

"I'm a Jew, I'm small, I'm homosexual, and I live in Sheffield. I'm fucked."
—Posner, The History Boys

Despite the traditional meaning of the word "gay", homosexual characters tend to be a miserable lot, and not by simple coincidence - their misery can be attributed largely to their sexuality or, more accurately, other people's attitudes towards it. In short, they don't just have angst, they have gayngst.

Characters suffering from Gayngst are prone to alcoholism and other forms of substance abuse, self-loathing, rampant homophobia towards themselves and others, falling in tragic unrequited love with heterosexuals, contemplating (and often committing) suicide, and wishing that they were straight.

Gayngst is a Pet Peeve Trope of many due to the fact that while it usually portrays gay people sympathetically, it can be interpreted as saying that it's impossible to be gay without being miserable, or that gay people don't deserve Happy Endings. However, portraying something in fiction isn't the same as promoting it (indeed, it can be an excellent way of condemning it), and Gayngst is still unfortunately common in real life, so it's hardly an irrelevant topic for fiction. After all, True Art Is Angsty transcends sexual orientation.

Gayngst is often found in Boys Love and Girls Love works for obvious reasons.

Not to be confused with the Gayngster, although some Gayngsters probably have their share of Gayngst. Clumsy examples of Gayngst often dive headfirst into Wangst territory. Sister Trope of Bury Your Gays, which it frequently overlaps with. Super Trope of Incompatible Orientation. Note that this doesn't come up quite as often in works with a Cast Full Of Gay.

I'm not listing all the examples though. :p

[Carl-E]

I'd like to know why Hanners has a cricket bat for such occasions and not the more traditional All AMERICAN baseball bat.

Meanwhile, earlier in the thread;

Why does Hanners even own a cricket bat?  She doesn't strike me as the sort to play (not being English or Indian) and there are better home defence pseudo clubs.

Lighter weight and easier to swing edge-on than a baseball bat, and it has an edge. 

So does a katana, but you won't cut yourself on a cricket bat. 

A waste is a terrible thing to mind. 

[raoullefere]

Hurrah for Faye fending off Tai. I do wonder if 'lil miss handy knows how dangerously she's living.

Hanners showing up with a cricket bat makes more sense than her showing up with a shinai. Well, to me, anyway.

[jwhouk]

Hurrah for Faye fending off Tai. I do wonder if 'lil miss handy knows how dangerously she's living.

Hanners showing up with a cricket bat makes more sense than her showing up with a shinai. Well, to me, anyway.

Probably not, but she's drunk.

Which brings to mind those comments Faye and Penelope made back in 1037... maybe Tai's confusing bisexuality for substance abuse?

[Near Lurker]

I'd like to know why Hanners has a cricket bat for such occasions and not the more traditional All AMERICAN baseball bat.

Because this is Western Mass. and they hate America (especially the part east of Palmer).  Everything's got to be either local or foreign, nothing in-between.

[BeoPuppy]

Hurrah for Faye fending off Tai. I do wonder if 'lil miss handy knows how dangerously she's living.

Hanners showing up with a cricket bat makes more sense than her showing up with a shinai. Well, to me, anyway.

Anything you need to swing around is basically useless in self defence in-doors. So, shinai, katana, boken, jo, baseball bat, cricket bat ... all useless.

[Akima]

Lighter weight and easier to swing edge-on than a baseball bat, and it has an edge.

According to Wiki, baseball bats weigh "no more than" 33oz (though Wiki gets the metric conversion wrong, 33oz is only 935g). Cricket bats, by contrast, have no regulation maximum weight and Kookaburra (an Australian manufacturer) offers bats of up to 3lb 4oz (1.47kg) as standard. So, if you really want to crush a skull, a cricket bat is actually heavier. The slower swing is little disadvantage when handling slow-moving zombies.

The legal maximum length of a cricket bat is 38" (0.965m). Baseball bats are apparently allowed to be up to 42". So the reach advantage goes to the Louisville Slugger. And baseball bats are allowed to be made of metal, so zombie teeth are less likely to be able to get a grip, and brains are easier to wipe off. On the other hand, the cricket bat's 4.25" wide blade makes it easier to block thrown knives, shuriken etc.

Anything you need to swing around is basically useless in self defence in-doors. So, shinai, katana, boken, jo, baseball bat, cricket bat ... all useless.

Depends on the length. I'd favour a pair of Butterfly Swords... 

[BeoPuppy]

It just dawned on me that we invest way too much time in this scenario.

But I support the butterfly knife suggestion.

[Kugai]

For Indoor Combat I would recommend a Roman Gladius and a Roman Oval Shield.   

Well, I suppose w could congratulate Faye on her self control, after all, Tai is still conscious and wall free   

[Carl-E]

If you're really worried about your swing indoors, try a handgun!   

[akronnick]

Or a sawed-off 12 Guage.

This is my BOOM-Stick!!!

[jwhouk]

Or maybe a Taser? Or a collapsing baton? Oh wait...

[vettechinohio]

The collapsing baton bit was mentioned back in #966. I wonder why Jeph waited so long to make a story arc out of it? Probably forgot he ever mentioned it in the first place, as I think Hanners said her mom "just" sent it to her.

[raoullefere]

Just remember, Hanners doesn't want anything that will make a mess or is likely to deposit bodily fluids on her. That removes the knives, the gladius, and definitely the 12-gauge. Probably the 3 lb. (great googly moogly) kricket* bat, too.

Too bad Hanners didn't just buy a paddle at the local shop (there has to be one to supply those crazy college kids with their S&M initiation gear), as it would be about the size of that bat, and we wouldn't have to wonder why she's into any sport whatsoever.



*spelling changed in honor of the sport-happy, whimsical, lyrical, xenocidal maniacs the late, great Douglas Adams invented.

[Akima]

This is my BOOM-Stick!!!

Sexy Red Chinese soldier says: "Never forget the hatred born of blood and tears; hold tight to your gun!" A sentiment of which Charlton Heston would no doubt approve. Oh wait...  

[akronnick]

For the record, I do not own a gun, but when the Zombie apocalypse comes, my first stop will be the Sporting Goods Department of my local discount store.

I will not stop at the check out counter either.

The question is: Which is the best type of shotgun ammo for zombies? Buckshot or Deer Slug?