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[20 jazz funk greats]

i've been dating the same guy for nearly 4 years and the internet doesn't approve of him. we currently live in the same city, and things between us are reasonably decent.

Who cares about the fucking internet? It's probably just dudes who wanna get in your pants hating. The fact that your are stressing that you CURRENTLY live in the same city is funny to me, don't most people in relationships live in the same city? And reasonably decent? You're not getting fucked right, clearly. If things were good, you'd be saying good. If things were bad, I dunno maybe you'd end it or maybe you thrive on mediocre sex and unsatisfying relationships. I bet this is like, the third dude you ever dated and the fourth you ever fucked, so you don't really know what you're missing. There's a whole wide world of dick out there that is just waiting for you, and it's almost 100% that some of those dicks are gonna make you feel way better than reasonably decent. Then again maybe the sex is the only thing keeping you together, and he rails you just right. Straight balls to the wall, back scratching face slapping porn star sex. Or you peg the fuck out of him with a strapon, which you sort of enjoy for the feeling of power, but you're pretty convinced he's actually gay, but he has a good job.

amusing, but mostly inaccurate.  except for enjoying the feeling of power, that's pretty much right on.

i mentioned the whole internet not approving thing because really it's just james, who may or may not have had real crush-type feelings for me at some point but now we just kind of joke about it. 
i mentioned living in the same city because we did the long distance thing for two years and that was difficult and i complained about it in the old relationship thread, and i wanted to point out that this is no longer the case, because if you read those posts your predictions would be way different!
"reasonably decent" is kind of an understatement because i'm just not the type to openly swoon over a dude i'm practically married to. but i can't actually picture myself being seriously involved with anyone else and i could be fucking other people but i'm usually not, so maybe that is a sign that he is the one i'm meant to settle down with or some silly thing like that.

(also we had AWESOME new year's sex. seriously)

now predict what will happen in 2010, go.

 

[Lummer]

bavarian indie sex priest.

I really, honestly think Negative Creep should change his user title to this. Really, like now.

[phooey]

I'd rather not dwell on the past; are we talking about the new year yet? 
If so, my genitals are always ship-shape, I will have sex with people from all sorts of walks of life, and I tend towards bedroom eyes and pining.

[jhocking]

my genitals are always ship-shape

[phooey]

Do you think I could somehow procure a very small hat that looks like that?

[Melodic]

yup totally possible i know a guy who knows a guy

[onewheelwizzard]

Right now I'm in a really enjoyable relationship with a girl I met at the end of July.  I'm 22, I've been out of college for a year and a half, and I spent last fall traveling in Hawaii.  My primary interests revolve around Burning Man and the associated community.

[David_Dovey]

my partner

usage of this term should be punishable by death, or at least really hard noogies.

[tania]

what's wrong with partner?

[David_Dovey]

It just makes me squirm, I just plain don't like it at a base level.

It's also pretty unnecessary? I don't like adding words to the lexicon when there are plenty of others that do the job in a far more precise fashion.

Also it's ambiguous and this usage kind of ruins the non-romantic connotations that it used to get used in, like denoting a business partnership etc.

[BrittanyMarie]

why? a lot of straight people use it in the same way as gay people do, like when straight people don't get married because they feel it's not fair. my experience with the use of partner in the gay community is as someone who is more than a boyfriend or girlfriend, someone who you would love to call your husband or wife if you could. someone you are looking forward to and someone who you are expecting to spend the rest of your life with. Not sure if she is using it like that though; I'm just curious about why you don't like it.

(you've pretty much answered it i guess) (stupid two new replies)

[Ozymandias]

Also it's ambiguous and this usage kind of ruins the non-romantic connotations that it used to get used in, like denoting a business partnership etc.

Why oh why oh why

[Zingoleb]

fuck off arse bandit

[David_Dovey]

Also it's ambiguous and this usage kind of ruins the non-romantic connotations that it used to get used in, like denoting a business partnership etc.

Why oh why oh why

Valid point, but all comedy aside I think it's pretty easy to tell which usage of "gay" yr using by context. "Partner" is far more ambiguous and just awkward as hell, imo.

[pwhodges]

I fail to see any problem with using the word partner  to refer to someone who is your partner.  It doesn't involve highjacking the word for a different meaning as gay suffered, and any ambiguity over whether they are a life partner or a business partner is trivially resolved by context.

[jhocking]

I am not a fan of that use of the term either, it just sounds awkward. Although, as with most things in life it's only awkward if you think it is (does that make sense?)

[Zingoleb]

I fail to see any problem with using the word partner  to refer to someone who is your partner.  It doesn't involve highjacking the word for a different meaning as gay suffered, and any ambiguity over whether they are a life partner or a business partner is trivially resolved by context.

I did business with my partner. And then we had sex.

Contexualize that.

(Pfft)

[David_Dovey]

Was it sex business

[ruyi]

Hm. I guess it's good because: other terms are gender-specific. Even if you personally don't care for being gender-neutral, you could agree that at the very least, there are certain contexts where it is A Good Thing for people to avoid indicating the gender of their partner, e.g. conversatin' with conservative family friends and being able to omit rather than lie. The thing is, this only works if the convention of using 'partner' is adopted by people in straight relationships as well, because otherwise, it'd be obvious that anyone not specifying 'girl-' or 'boyfriend' was queer.

Also idk man, if you think about it 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend' are pretty strange terms too?? I have a relationship with this person that is specifically romantic in nature, so I'm just going to prefix the term 'friend' with 'girl' or 'boy,' words that connotes youthfulness and immaturity. In other words 'girl'/'boy' are terms that designates the sexual aspect and I mean, yeah this is probably related to calling yer beau 'baby'. Anyways from this BS nonsense I just typed it seems that perhaps the terms 'girlfriend' and 'boyfriend' reinforce the notion that without marriage, intimate relations are somehow juvenile or immature as they are still in the domain of young people, or conversely that only young people do not marry.

But ultimately I am probably inclined to justify the use of 'partner' because I do happen to hear it used pretty often and thus find it familiar

In conclusion language is strange!!

[ruyi]

Oh btw Just To Clarify My Thoughts (cos I know yall were wonderin ): I don't think people should stop calling the one they are sweet on 'girlfriend' or 'boyfriend' -- I just think it's worth recognizing that the terminology is not necessarily default or natural!

[David_Dovey]

This is probably a good time to mention that I just now recall actually taking the opposite position to the one I am taking in this thread in a discussion with my parents on the same subject. In other words, I am a ridiculous, irrational Contrarian whose only real conviction lay in my knee-jerk impulse to disagree with every one, all the time, in as arrogant a manner as possible! #hahawoo

[Ballard]

I'm 17, openly dating a 22 year old college senior who lives in Boston. I smoke a lot of weed and don't like large parties.

Go.

[Elizzybeth]

Speaking of weird terms for pre-marital romantic/sexual relationships... my dad, for whatever reason, refuses to call my boyfriend my "boyfriend."  In the Christmas letter last year, he called him my "POSSLQ" (person of opposite sex sharing living quarters; specifically indicates a sexual relationship, which I should think would make my Catholic grandmother even more uncomfortable than "boyfriend"); this year he called him my "significant other."

I guess he might be thinking along Ruyi's lines--i.e. we've been living together for a while, so perhaps he's searching for a term that's less "juvenile"?  Honestly, though, it just ends up feeling like he's trying to make our relationship something it isn't: he tried to get us to get "pre-engaged" (seriously, wtf?) before we moved in together.

My point being, I guess, that probably your best bet is to just respect whatever term people choose to use for themselves rather than trying to define their relationship for them?

it's only awkward if you think it is (does that make sense?)

(yes)

[Puki]

Why the fuck aren't you married, anyway. Five fucking years and you're engaged and you don't even live together? Let me guess, at least 1, as many as 3 of those years were spent in a long distance thing where you saw each other occasionally and now you're scared to move too fast in case being around each other all the time actually fucks things up more than it makes things better. I guess not living together probably makes sex more exciting, cuz right now you can pretend you're not fucking every night because of different schedules/requirements, not because you probably wouldn't be at this point in your relationship anyway. You occasionally fantasize about girls from this message board while jerking it when she isn't around. She has cheated on you once in the last 5 years.

Argh! I hates you.

Not really.
Actually, my college experience kind of got prolonged (or whatever the English term might be) so I'm waiting to finish it and make an honest woman out of her. About the cheating, hem.. I'm not so paranoid. But , all in all, good guess - not accurate, but quite good.

[jhocking]

my dad, for whatever reason, refuses to call my boyfriend my "boyfriend."

At first my mom would introduce my girlfriend to people as my "friend." I had to straighten that one out real quick.

[ZJGent]

Ah but the opposite reaction is equally distressing. My mother makes such an exaggerated stress on the word "girlfriend" when introducing or referring to my girlfriend in the company of her friends, that I can't help thinking that previously she had been referring to me behind my back as "my son who couldn't get a girlfriend to save his life". In fact, I am fairly certain that this was the case. My mother is not fond of me, but then, it's traditional for english mothers to despise their sons.

[Johnny C]

whenever i read "partner" i read it in a john wayne voice. i guess this sometimes makes john wayne gay in my mind.

[sean]

i really wish never quite goth would post in this thread.

[Johnny C]

i really wish for the accelerated heat death of the universe

[Inlander]

i guess this sometimes makes john wayne gay in my mind.

Also the way he walks like he's a bit distressed between the buttocks.

[ruyi]

How about that! My new pick-up line.

[David_Dovey]

Plus his real name is Marion

[negative creep]

bavarian indie sex priest.

I really, honestly think Negative Creep should change his user title to this. Really, like now.

I probably would do that if I was, indeed, bavarian. Or had more sex, for that matter. But sadly the professor was not quite correct in his speculations.

[ImRonBurgundy?]

I was in a relationship with a girl from November of 2008 up until August of '09.  Fooled around with one girl since, but didn't pursue it because she didn't turn out to be particularly interesting as a person.
I was in New York from January to March of '09, interning on a television show.
I had a mustache from November to December of '09.

I believe this is all the pertinent information you'll need.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

i really wish never quite goth would post in this thread.

word

[Puki]

Plus his real name is Marion

[Ballard]

I was always pretty disappointed that Kieffer didn't finish this thread.

[Johnny C]

I also got punched by a dude because his wife made out with me.

Let's both move to New York and become roommates.

i still mean this