Well, however those things may have happened, if Marigold's 'at least I've done this and this now' attitude helps her get over the pain of her unrequited crush, then good for her. I love Momo's expression of alarm in the last panel, ha ha. Oh, and this
probably isn't intentional, but in panel 4 Marigold may be sending a secret message to the forums.
(Does she have to turn it up?)
Oh, and Marten didn't just touch Hanners' boobs (inadvertently, of course), he also viewed at least one of them. But Hanners can't count them as any kind of milestone since she doesn't know about them, as far as we know. If she did know about them, after freaking out initially, she might put them somewhere on her chart of human experiences, but downgraded because she didn't experience them directly, having been unconscious.
I just realized that Hanners must have walked down the street in the middle of the night with a tin of leftover pie. Can't have been the weirdest thing to happen in that town, though.