I never knew Faye was a fan of The Last Temptation of Christ. (I know, that's a little oblique. But work with me)
Urp. Ah. BurrraWALL 'o TEXT!
When a person reacts to a particular situation in a way completely out of keeping with the way she reacts to other closely related situations, my guess would be there's some sort of damage, some hurt that's been caused by that particular circumstance. With Dora, it seems to me to be Marten making choices she's not aware he's going to make, with an emphasis on these being related to his (in Dora's POV) cheating on her or getting ready to dump her. That's why it's okay for Marten to look at other girls when Dora's around—no threat. On the other hand, getting a haircut without discussing it with her is a threat. Why? There's a chance he's doing it to impress another woman, one that Dora knows nothing of because she was never in on 'the decision-making process.' Marten can dress up rather provocatively and pose with strange women (Magic Love Dude) when Dora knows what he's doing, but he can't sit in his underwear with Faye because she doesn't (or worse, is afraid she does). She tests him about Cosette because it falls into the same parameter—Marten interacting with another woman when Dora knows nothing of it. Notice Dora wasn't at all upset Marten got to see Tai bottomless because she knows what is and isn't happening then—the same for feeling up Hanners. Marten's never shown any attraction to Tai, who's a confirmed lesbian, and Hanners is clearly sexually disabled. Faye, on the other hand, has a romantic history with Marten, and so it trips Dora's trigger.
That's pretty specific, and suggests specific damage to me. The only incident that doesn't really fit that pattern is her blowing up at Faye over the Sven hook-up (not the fight with Marten, which does fit—in Doravision he's defending Faye because he prefers her). That suggests to me it's another sort of betrayal. It's simply my guess those friends using her to get into Sven's room and pants led to Dora thinking of herself as undesirable or unwanted, which made her ripe prey for these 'Alpha-Goths' to dominate. (Becomes Freudian) That ist vy I still blame Sven, and ze parents for letting him get avay mit his 'passive poaching.' (God, that was awful) It sends a definite message about your self-worth when it's demonstrated repeatedly you're simply a stepping stone to get to be with someone else. Having everything come easily to that someone reinforces the message—he's better than you, more deserving. Even the freaking Universe thinks so.
Something just occurred to me: is it possible the attraction of the Alpha-Goths (AGs) were they seemed to be similar to Sven—assertive, always get what they want, etc—and yet seems to actually want Dora? Interesting thought, anyway.
The weird mix in this to me is that Dora is otherwise assertive—in fact, I'd guess she actually 'went after' these AGs, stealing them from other girls (Sven makes a comment about this way back when), or so she thought. She may also have dumped them when they cheated on her, but it was still a betrayal, a repeat of the friends/Sven situation. In other words, Dora may have been angry, but she still set her failure down to her own lack of worth. Or it could simply be one of those inconsistancies we've been batting about.
I still think Dora's perception of her self-worth as a desirable person (not as a businesswoman—she seems, again, to be pretty specific) is at the core of all this, and I'm not sure just being more open is a fix, although it may be a start.
But that doesn't mean Dora's not worth Marten fighting for. Dora is a special snowflake to Marten, which, of course, means I take issue with one of Odin's points, his theory of 'trading up' to someone "better." It reminds me of an ass I know personally who claims that all people outside of immediate family (read brothers, sisters, parents) are 'fungible' (he's an accountant). Working on that theory, he's been married about six times now. I have no idea if he keeps 'moving up' or not (if he is, I can't tell), but I do know he's one of the loneliest people I've ever met.
I don't believe in 'soul-mates,' 'love at first sight,' or any of those staples of Hollowood (even though it could be said my own experience contradicts that) but I do think most of us can find someone who, even if they're not the prettiest, the wealthiest, the most chaste, the most uninhibited, the most intelligent, the cleverest, and so on, person who's ever existed, still clicks with us, if not, perhaps, with others. The 'click' is just the start, though. If you want more than that, you have to work at it, through bad times and good, and you really don't get to stop. Special snowflakes aren't found—they're very carefully crafted. Does the crafting always work? Of course not! You plays the game and you takes your chances, and sometimes, indeed, you counts up your losses, make a decision, and move on. But sometimes it does work…
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Topic: WCDT - 6-10 September 2010 (1746-1750) (Read 111852 times)