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Author Topic: "Resident Evil: Afterlife is superior to Inception on every level"  (Read 7429 times)

scarred

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Blyss

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Armond White just moved to the top of the "Target of Opportunity" list  -  ahead of Paul WS Anderson.

For fuck's sake.
 
:roll:
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Alex C

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I wish I could get paid to troll.
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the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Johnny C

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they're probably both mediocre anyways
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Johnny C

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what armond white writes is actually interesting from a conceptual and/or theoretical standpoint, my main problem with him is that he thinks his audience is dumb
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Johnny C

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i mean, his audience isn't really everyone, you know? it's people who can understand that he isn't "trolling" in a traditional sense, but really is using high-art terms to discuss low culture, and denigrating high culture by the very language it's couched itself in. that's not trolling - that's writing. it was extant before trolling came around.

but the problem is that he condescends to that audience, treats them like he just discovered his shit is gold and surely you wouldn't turn down a handful? and people who don't even get that - people who think he's a troll or have an even less insightful reading of him - aren't even worth his consideration.

so i can't figure out what he hopes to accomplish. the problem is that such a condescending tone, even in the most well-read and -respected theoretical texts, is almost inevitably a point against x text. and the point those texts made was usually eloquent, or elegant, or visionary. the thought that maybe film as a medium is caught up in a high art=good/low art=bad or a correlation of what is popular with what is generally acclaimed, or at least given a free pass by the market-driven critical community, isn't exactly revolutionary. all we've got is condescending (though well-written) texts that are fundamentally incapable of engaging their audience, both through the intentionally hostile tone and the intellectually boring conceit.
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Alex C

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My last post was dismissive and flippant only because White is guilty of the same all too often himself. As you said, it's a condescenscion issue. I'm a grown ass man, so it's not like I really get upset about what films he does and doesn't like. What bugs me is the way he undercuts his own work with his tone and posturing. It just seems counterproductive and more bratty than idiosyncratic. It's not even like I really want him to cut down on the vitriol all that much here, either. For example, I thought his Scott Pilgrim review was pretty strong and rather refreshingly accessible for him even though he opens up with a bit of a snarky dig at QT fans. But at least he didn't close by calling the vast majority of theater goers morons for once.
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the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

KvP

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what armond white writes is actually interesting from a conceptual and/or theoretical standpoint, my main problem with him is that he thinks his audience is dumb
You're thinking of Stephanie Zacharek. I have no real reason to believe Armand White isn't a contrarian.
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Johnny C

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right but he's a contrarian with an intellectual axe to grind and i think that part has the potential to be interesting but as alex points how his being a total assface undermines that
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Blyss

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Okay, so I finally saw this movie.

First off, as usual, not horrible...  as a standalone piece.  I won't go into the usual rant of 'THIS IS NOT RESIDENT EVIL', because frankly, it just doesn't matter.  Once again, Paul (WS - why the fuck do we NEED to verify he's WS?) Anderson has gone into his own mad fantasy world wherein his wife gets all fucking crazy and violent - this time literally hundreds of her attack a facility - and kicks some Umbrella ass.  Nevermind that Umbrella doesn't even exist anymore in the RE game universe.  Because that sure as hell doesn't stop ol' WS from ripping action sequences straight from the games again.  It's simply amazing the audacity with which this guy just takes shit from wherever and whatever he wants.  AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! 

I didn't hate the movie itself, because it's good violent fun.  I HATE with a fucking passion that WS keeps referring to this shit as what he does, instead of just naming it 'Homage to my wife's violent tendecies' - which would be far more accurate.

Milla is hot, so is Ali Larter - but they don't really belong in my Resident Evil, thanks.

Oh well, at least Wesker wasn't fat this time.
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the_pied_piper

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Paul (WS - why the fuck do we NEED to verify he's WS?) Anderson

You need to verify because Paul W.S. Anderson is known for producing shit like this and Death Race while Paul Thomas Anderson directed There Will Be Blood and Magnolia among others.
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He even really sponsored terrorism! Libya's like Opposite-Iraq, where all the lies are true!

Blyss

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Paul (WS - why the fuck do we NEED to verify he's WS?) Anderson

You need to verify because Paul W.S. Anderson is known for producing shit like this and Death Race while Paul Thomas Anderson directed There Will Be Blood and Magnolia among others.

Noted - though to be honest, If we were going to differentiate, it should be to the one that actually has talent, instead of the fuckstain that thinks he knows how to make movies.
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"Psychos?!  Did they look like psychos?  They were vampires!  Psychos DO NOT explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"  Seth Gecko

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Alex C

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I won't go into the usual rant of 'THIS IS NOT RESIDENT EVIL', because frankly, it just doesn't matter.

I hate to break this to you, but you still ranted.
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the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

scarred

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Blyss

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 :lol:

Infuckingdeed.
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"Psychos?!  Did they look like psychos?  They were vampires!  Psychos DO NOT explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"  Seth Gecko

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Jimmy the Squid

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Paul (WS - why the fuck do we NEED to verify he's WS?) Anderson

You need to verify because Paul W.S. Anderson is known for producing shit like this and Death Race while Paul Thomas Anderson directed There Will Be Blood and Magnolia among others.


Given that the Writer's Guild doesn't allow two members to have the same name (David X. Cohen of Futurama and The Simpsons isn't allowed to use his actual middle initial "S" because there's already a guild member called David S. Cohen who writes or wrote for Courage the Cowardly Dog and Strangers With Candy) I wouldn't be surprised if the Directors' Guild had a similar thing going on. Hence Paul W. S. Anderson the director of fun but terrible films with a hot wife and Paul Thomas Anderson the director of films of actual merit.
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AnAverageWriter

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I nailed it. As soon as I read the title, before even reading the topic, I was saying to myself, "that has GOT to be something from Armond White".

I am firmly convinced he is still employed purely to tick people off.
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jackmort

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The best resident evil film is Degeneration the CG one
The said Milla Jovovich doing flips with Khukuri is pretty spectacular
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just when you think things are never going to get better, they suddenly get worse

Blyss

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The only real resident evil film is Degeneration the CG one
The said Milla Jovovich doing flips with Khukuri is pretty spectacular

Fixed that for you there.  And yes, I am a fan of Milla, I just wish they'd rename these live action movies to reflect something that they really are - and not ripping off a favorite game series of mine.
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jackmort

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Exactly, like Final Fantasy the spirits within, isn't a terrible film per se, it just never should have had the Final Fantasy name attached to it
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just when you think things are never going to get better, they suddenly get worse

Alex C

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I really don't see why not. Every Final Fantasy game is about fuck all anyway.
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the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Alex C

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Let's be real here: There's usually a guy named Cid. There's your thematic continuity.
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the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Ozymandias

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Hey hey hey hey

There's usually giant chickens too.
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Tom

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...and something to do with crystals.
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Damnable Fiend

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and the airship
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« Last Edit: 01 Nov 2010, 05:29 by KharBevNor »
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Lines

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And things that can be odd and/or trippy. Fantastical, even.
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Ozymandias

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Cool now that we've defined Final Fantasy we can stop.
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E. Spaceman

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I saw this movie, it was amusing enough but it felt like it would last 20 mins without the slow motion
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