Topic: Twinkies (Read 12009 times)

Hairy Joe Bob · « **on:** 19 Nov 2010, 19:12 »

I watched Zombieland recently and Woody Harrelson's character is mad for twinkies. Now...I live in Britain where the idea of self-inflicted heart disease revolved around fired meats rather than cream (although I hear you people, you sick, sick people, sometimes fry twinkies as well).

What the hell is a twinkie and why the hell are they so popular in America? Why have twinkies become such an important part of your culture and what the hell is wrong with you?

Aurjay · « **Reply #1 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 19:25 »

They are yellow. They are cream filled. They are indestructible. If they were cognizant they would rule the world.

JD · « **Reply #2 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 19:44 »

Man I can't even remember my last twinkie.

tania · « **Reply #3 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 19:46 »

i ate a twinkie once, it was alright. i don't think about twinkies very often or feel like i've missed much the other hundred thousand days of my life i have made it thus far without eating twinkies.

one time while taking care of my aunt's dog while she was on vacation i had brought with me a box of twinkies inside my bag and when i wasn't looking he sniffed them out and managed to force his entire head inside the bag and eat the entire fucking box. literally - the box. plastic, paper, twinkies, everything. i was immensely terrified for the 24 hours after that he would die either from all the sugar or from developing some sort of blockage in his guts from all the plastic but as luck has it the stupid idiot dog was completely fine.

keep your dog away from twinkies.

Tom · « **Reply #4 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 19:54 »

I can't decide which is grosser, twinkies or hershey's.

Hairy Joe Bob · « **Reply #5 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:12 »

No, give all the twinkies to all the dogs so no human ever has to eat them ever again.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #6 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:13 »

When I saw this thread I immediately thought it was about petite, effeminate homosexual men. That is the only kind of twinkie we have in Australia.

Scandanavian War Machine · « **Reply #7 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:17 »

why isn't anyone talking about what this thread should obviously about: the superior older brother of the twinkie, the zinger

if you can't tell from the picture, or if it doesn't work or something, a zinger is just a twinkie but with frosting on top. yes they are delicious and terrifying. i think i might actually go buy some right now. thanks alot

BrittanyMarie · « **Reply #8 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:33 »

don't call them twinkies!

(i just wanted an excuse to post that; mn has the best sports songs)

tania · « **Reply #9 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:34 »

man you know what i love? fucking, fresh produce.

tania · « **Reply #10 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:35 »

seriously though all these twinkies and hot dogs and noodles and fried cheese actually make me feel slightly ill, am i really the only person here who actually eats salad every day and like... likes it

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #11 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:42 »

Probably, yeah.

Wait no. Harry too, probably.

tania · « **Reply #12 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:54 »

oh

i can leave, i mean it doesn't have to be a weird thing

Snuffletrout · « **Reply #13 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:57 »

Ate Twinkie on my visit to the US this september, it tastes artificial and is really not worth the calories.

Murderbunny seems to like them though!

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #14 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 20:59 »

Quote from: tania on 19 Nov 2010, 20:54

oh

i can leave, i mean it doesn't have to be a weird thing

No, your alternative views provide the much needed diversity this forum requires to prevent it from becoming a group of trans-continental fatties eating shitty food and complaining about our chest pains.

JD · « **Reply #15 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:01 »

Quote from: tania on 19 Nov 2010, 20:35

seriously though all these twinkies and hot dogs and noodles and fried cheese actually make me feel slightly ill, am i really the only person here who actually eats salad every day and like... likes it

I actually eat more salad than noodlebox.

Blue Kitty · « **Reply #16 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:03 »

My mom tells me a fried Twinkie is actually alright, though I would never try one

Also, what would your twinkie be if the world ended? Mine would probably be an ice cream sandwich?

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #17 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:04 »

I've never eaten a twinkie, I don't eat hotdogs (though I'm interested in trying those monstrosities posted earlier) and honestly the most unhealthy thing I do is go slightly overboard with cheese when I have pizza. The food I eat is actually pretty good and reasonably healthy, I just eat a shit load of it.

Snuffletrout · « **Reply #18 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:05 »

Quote from: Blue Kitty on 19 Nov 2010, 21:03

Also, what would your twinkie be if the world ended? Mine would probably be an ice cream sandwich?

Probably salt licorice or popcorn.

JD · « **Reply #19 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:07 »

I've had a fried oreo once. Tasted like donut really.

tania · « **Reply #20 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:07 »

but seriously, how can you tell me this doesn't look delicious

(hot dog thread, take note - the no. 1 rule in ever making a food-based argument is to make sure you never use anything but really good looking photos)

JD · « **Reply #21 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:08 »

Hey my noodles are the motherfucking mona lisa

tania · « **Reply #22 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 21:33 »

yeah those were some pretty good noodloh wait oh shit dogg i just realised we live in the same city! totally gonna go to noodlebox next week

JD · « **Reply #23 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 22:23 »

You get so much food in those things.

Eris · « **Reply #24 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 23:27 »

I always assumed twinkies were like lamingtons, but long and cream filled, rather than cube shaped and, uh, cream filled?

Twinkies would be much better if they were lamingtons.

Eris · « **Reply #25 on:** 19 Nov 2010, 23:28 »

Also, I used to work as a place that made noodles a la Noodlebox and they were so good. Then I realised that our shop wasn't the most hygienic of places and the smell of noodleshops like that bring back memories of that time and I lose my appetite. Fuck you Yummy Noodle.

nockiemommy · « **Reply #26 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 01:08 »

I avoid Twinkies most of the time. Though every summer, I buy a box and FREEZE THEM which makes them tastier, plus it's cool and more filling than an icepop. Even though there's the empty calories, and the sugar. But, too, they don't melt and get all messy.

I love salad. My friends accuse me of being a rabbit. And FRIED OREOS? Oh, God, tell me that's a lie ... I've heard they even fry Snickers bars ... Gross. Then there's fried ice cream ... No wonder so many of us Americans are dying of heart disease and cholesterol! We're frying every damn thing!:

And I prefer Zingers, too. My gran and I used to have the raspberry ones occasionally when my parents were gone.

Darkbluerabbit · « **Reply #27 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 01:43 »

Never, ever underestimate what Americans will deep fry, especially in the midwest and the south. We can and will coat anything in batter and infuse it with fat. Hell, some guy in Texas deep fried BEER.

Quote

The beer is placed inside a pocket of salty, pretzel-like dough and then dunked in oil at 375 degrees for about 20 seconds, a short enough time for the confection to remain alcoholic. When diners take a bite the hot beer mixes with the dough in what is claimed to be a delicious taste sensation.

http://www.fieldandstream.com/blogs/hunting/2010/09/texas-chef-successfully-deep-friesbeer

As ridiculous as it sounds, I'm somewhat impressed. A friend and I once tried to deep fry Jolly Ranchers and it did not end well.

rae · « **Reply #28 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 03:49 »

I bought one from Cybercandy in London once. It was gross, I was quite disappointed.

Cartilage Head · « **Reply #29 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 04:03 »

I had a deep fried Twinkie once back when the whole deep-frying everything craze started. I was not impressed.

Lines · « **Reply #30 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 04:21 »

I haven't had a twinkie in years. (The deep fried ones are terrifying.)

HOWEVER. Hostess cupcakes could kick a twinkie's butt.

CardinalFang · « **Reply #31 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 05:36 »

I have to agree with Linds that the Hostess Cupcake is superior to the Twinkie.
However the chocolate covered Twinkie known for some reason as the Chocodile is pretty tasty.

Actually I haven't had Twinkies or Chocodiles in ages and the last time I had a Hostess Cupcake it was disappointing. Perhaps I've gotten too old for snack foods.

P.S. I have never seen a salad I thought looked delicious. This possibly explains my weight and cholesterol problems.

ummmkay · « **Reply #32 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 05:48 »

man i am from the southern US and have never had a twinkie, or even heard of a chocodile. chocodile? really?

jhocking · « **Reply #33 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 06:21 »

Before WWII twinkies were filled with banana cream. They switched to vanilla cream when bananas were rationed, and then never switched back because vanilla cream was more popular. I so want to try a twinkie filled with banana.

allison · « **Reply #34 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 06:46 »

Fun fact: before Twinkies had banana filling, they were a strawberry shortcake! But when strawberry season was over, they couldn't produce them. So banana filling it was!

KharBevNor · « **Reply #35 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 06:47 »

Quote from: tania on 19 Nov 2010, 21:07

but seriously, how can you tell me this doesn't look delicious

Doesn't look that appealing to me, largely because I am not sure what's on them or such, I think. I don't like salad very much, largely because of the dressings, largely because of not liking certain common ingredients for taste or texture reasons. I eat real, healthy BREETEESH food. Potatoes! Vegetables! Occasional meats! Some rice and such. I am still overweight but that's because I comfort eat junk food like crisps or chocolate bars when I am depressed or stoned, and I am either depressed or stoned pretty much all the time.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #36 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 06:48 »

So basically Twinkies are the result of over-producing things to the point where those things are no longer available so they just substitute whatever is available at the time? How American.

Hairy Joe Bob · « **Reply #37 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 07:01 »

This thread is disgusting. Absolutely disgusting. You make me sick, all of you. Bless you tania for your picture of salads.

Yes this thread is my fault. I make myself sick.

JD · « **Reply #38 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 07:11 »

hellooo

jhocking · « **Reply #39 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 07:24 »

Quote from: allison on 20 Nov 2010, 06:46

Fun fact: before Twinkies had banana filling, they were a strawberry shortcake! But when strawberry season was over, they couldn't produce them. So banana filling it was!

That is close but not entirely accurate:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie#History

valley_parade · « **Reply #40 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 07:37 »

Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 19 Nov 2010, 21:04

I've never eaten a twinkie, I don't eat hotdogs (though I'm interested in trying those monstrosities posted earlier) and honestly the most unhealthy thing I do is go slightly overboard with cheese when I have pizza. The food I eat is actually pretty good and reasonably healthy, I just eat a shit load of it.

Don't forget your Burger King addiction..

Liz · « **Reply #41 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 08:20 »

I have never had a Twinkie but Zebra Cakes are basically a gift from God.

eyosgkxb · « **Reply #42 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 09:41 »

Every put your dick into a pile of twinkies? Feels just like some mexican tar herion, except in your penis.

bainidhe_dub · « **Reply #43 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 09:59 »

Deep fried Oreos are goddamn delicious. The place I got them from, they're battered in funnel cake mix and then fried, and then dusted with powdered sugar. The cookie gets soft and the filling kinda starts to dissolve and it's amazing. They also did Twinkies the same way but Twinkies freak me out. They're all squishy and spongey and I don't like the cream filling and there's so much of it and ew.

Caleb · « **Reply #44 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 10:11 »

The red ones on that tower are probably Raspberry Zingers.

Cream filled and covered in Raspberry coating and coconut.

Lines · « **Reply #45 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 10:30 »

Yeah, they look like snowballs, but in log form.

I would much prefer a twinkie with banana cream. The regular ones are kind of bland, but then again, they probably will be one of the few foods that survives the apocalypse. That's really creepy to think about.

eyosgkxb · « **Reply #46 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 11:06 »

GO USA

Caleb · « **Reply #47 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 13:10 »

Oh come on. That whole thing is a myth.

Twinkies do not survive any longer than any other cake product that is mass produced and pumped full of preservatives. They only stay fresh for like a month or two. Maybe half a year before they are no longer eatable.

http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/twinkies.asp

I would like to add that I got this book for the library a few years back.

http://www.amazon.com/Twinkie-Deconstructed-Ingredients-Processed-Manipulated/dp/1594630186

It's amazing that the same ingredients that go into a Twinkie go into Concrete, cardboard and weed killer.

eyosgkxb · « **Reply #48 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 13:26 »

Quote from: Caleb on 20 Nov 2010, 13:10

Oh come on. That whole thing is a myth.

Twinkies do not survive any longer than any other cake product that is mass produced and pumped full of preservatives. They only stay fresh for like a month or two. Maybe half a year before they are no longer eatable.

http://www.snopes.com/food/ingredient/twinkies.asp

I would like to add that I got this book for the library a few years back.

http://www.amazon.com/Twinkie-Deconstructed-Ingredients-Processed-Manipulated/dp/1594630186

It's amazing that the same ingredients that go into a Twinkie go into Concrete, cardboard and weed killer.

Remember that scene in Die Hard?

David_Dovey · « **Reply #49 on:** 20 Nov 2010, 13:48 »

I don't like walnuts on my salad. Fuck those salads Tania.

Seriously though, I'm sure a lot of people on this forum eat pretty decent most of the time, but that shot is boring as hell to talk about, so we don't. What isn't boring to talk about, are monstrosities of colon-blocking deliciousness. Mmmmm.

That picture of the chocolate covered Twinkie and the non-annoying new person's story of freezing Twinkies reminded me of these caramel filled cake things that I ate a bunch of when I was in Timmins, which were amazing when you froze them. Canadian people, any idea what I'm talking about? My google-fu gives me nothing.

I had a chocolate-covered Oreo from FAO Schwartz. That was fantastic, I don't care what you say.

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Author Topic: Twinkies (Read 12009 times)