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[Eris]

Every time I see a picture of a twinkie I am disappointed it doesn't look like this:



Stop showing me your non-lamington twinkies, dammit.

[tania]

to be honest dovey i think i am just jealous and resentful of all you skinny fucks who are actually able to eat whatever you want and not somehow end up hideously, morbidly obese unlike some people (tania people)

[David_Dovey]

Tania you've met me, I'm not skinny at all. I do have a lot of fun though.

Goddamnit Hannah I am depressed THANKS TO YOU. I'm getting Vegemite and Milo brought over when Sam's folks come to visit at Xmas, but I don't think they'll be able to bring lamingtons. Oh lamingtons, I never appreciated you fully enough when I had you 

[Eris]

you know you can make lamingtons yourself, right?

[David_Dovey]

Sure I can. Will I? That is a question that remains to be seen. (I probably will not) (I did make a mean banana bread last week though)

[squawk]

I don't like salads, I generally don't eat vegetables because I guess I am trying to die but i just never do

I like lots of pasta and oreos and filipino things like tinola, which does have vegetables, i do eat vegetables sometimes.
I really like strawberries

[Jimmy the Squid]

I've never eaten a twinkie, I don't eat hotdogs (though I'm interested in trying those monstrosities posted earlier) and honestly the most unhealthy thing I do is go slightly overboard with cheese when I have pizza. The food I eat is actually pretty good and reasonably healthy, I just eat a shit load of it.

Don't forget your Burger King addiction..

I can't find any burger kings here so I guess it's only an american thing.

[KharBevNor]

We have Burger Kings in the UK, but it's never achieved the same level of penetration as McDonalds, KFC or even Pizza Hut. The Isle of Wight, for example, a unitary county, has no Burger King franchise whatsoever. Perhaps Burger King simply lacks the will? McDonalds will probably have burger flippers on the fucking moon before NASA gets back there.

[Jimmy the Squid]

Also Burger King in Australia (there are some, but most of them are rebranded as Hungry Jacks) doesn't taste the same as american ones. Also it's not served to me by people with delightful american accents. It makes me sad.

[Lines]

You should just come back!

[Lunchbox]

I'm skinny, I eat whatever I want, but lately I have realised that processed food is disgusting (seriously, that coating it leaves inside your mouth? vomit). Salad is the way to go.
SALAD. SO DELICIOUS.

[Slick]

I find the most disturbing thing about processed foods to be the preservatives. I am just starting to worry about the net effect of dumping preservative-laden food through my digestive tract for the past twenty-four years and it bothers me. I am imagining my intestine, semi-embalmed. I know that is not the case but I worry about my micro-fauna hangin' out in my gut and I don't want to kill them with preservatives I want them to be strong and to be my pals!

[Lunchbox]

Also preservatives make me really ill.

[Alex C]

What the hell is a twinkie and why the hell are they so popular in America? Why have twinkies become such an important part of your culture and what the hell is wrong with you?

Twinkies are somewhat popular due to being one of our older national brands, but compared to Oreo cookies, Doritos, or Lay's potato chips they're small-time snack foods and actually aren't all that popular.  I haven't seen anyone buy or eat a twinkie in years. When I worked at a gas station in college we didn't bother even carrying Hostess food products (Even their cupcakes, which have always outsold twinkies) and at the time I think they were filing for bankruptcy. Twinkies basically have negative cultural cachet, but notoriety gets press even when you can't sell more than 500 million a year (Which, is actually kinda sad by US snack standards-- there is 300+ million of us, after all). When it comes right down to it, they're known in part because they're one of the default foods you cite when you decide to call someone a fat lazy fuck. They're also older than dirt so thanks to WWII they're one of those items foreigners associate with the US despite the fact that we're usually too busy eating Snickers and washing it down with a Coke or Pepsi to be bothered eating one.

[allison]

That picture of the chocolate covered Twinkie and the non-annoying new person's story of freezing Twinkies reminded me of these caramel filled cake things that I ate a bunch of when I was in Timmins, which were amazing when you froze them. Canadian people, any idea what I'm talking about? My google-fu gives me nothing.

Fucking yes

[Inlander]

Everything I know about Twinkies I learned from the Simpsons; namely, that you cannot kill them.

[rae]

I like those chocolate covered pretzels, Flipz I think they're called. And Oreos. I love Oreos.

[Jimor]

The only things remaining come the Apocalypse will be cockroaches, Twinkies, and the faint smell of cat pee.

[Inlander]

Sounds like my front room's one-third of the way towards being a post-Apocalyptic nightmare!

[jhocking]

Oh come on.  That whole thing is a myth.

Twinkies do not survive any longer than any other cake product that is mass produced and pumped full of preservatives.

You guys are not very good at reading the thread.

Also, further down the page I linked:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Twinkie#Shelf_life

[David_Dovey]

Fucking yes

Fucking YES

[Rizzo]

Does you hideous obese country make anything snacky that's not hideously overstuffed with dairy products? I want to visit and eat your horrific foods without having an allergic reaction to near everything.

[Lunchbox]

I'm pretty sure there is nothing organic left in these foods.

[Hairy Joe Bob]

I'm pretty sure there is nothing organic left in these foods.

There is something wrong with this sentence. I've worked it out, it's the word 'foods.'

I can't believe we live in a universe where these are 'foods.'

[Lunchbox]

I apologise for my sentence structure and/or word choice. I am sorry they offend you.

[Hairy Joe Bob]

Oh. That wasn't a dig. I was just slagging off twinkies, not you 

[Lunchbox]

Oh good! Phew.

[Alex C]

Does you hideous obese country make anything snacky that's not hideously overstuffed with dairy products? I want to visit and eat your horrific foods without having an allergic reaction to near everything.

Last I heard, Australia and New Zealand are number 2 and 3 on the WHO fat list and you guys deep fry candy bars at a far higher rate than we do, so you'll probably feel right at home.

[Lines]

Does you hideous obese country make anything snacky that's not hideously overstuffed with dairy products? I want to visit and eat your horrific foods without having an allergic reaction to near everything.

Sunchips. Graham crackers. Goldfish. Granola bars. Various fruit chews/candies that are low in sugar and still quite delicious.

Seriously, we aren't all fatties and don't eat that crap all the time. There are better things in life than those made by Hostess and Little Debbie.

[benji]

I have lived in the US my entire life and I've maybe tried a twinkie once. So no, they aren't that hard to avoid if you don't want them.

[KharBevNor]

They're also older than dirt so thanks to WWII they're one of those items foreigners associate with the US despite the fact that we're usually too busy eating Snickers and washing it down with a Coke or Pepsi to be bothered eating one.

I know about Twinkies from this.

[nockiemommy]

Linds ... Plants V Zombies FTW

That picture of the chocolate covered Twinkie and the non-annoying new person's story of freezing Twinkies reminded me of these caramel filled cake things that I ate a bunch of when I was in Timmins, which were amazing when you froze them. Canadian people, any idea what I'm talking about? My google-fu gives me nothing.

Yay, I'm non-annoying ... I take it that most of the new people make people want to scratch their retinas, or develop short-term memory loss?

The only things remaining come the Apocalypse will be cockroaches, Twinkies, and the faint smell of cat pee.

THAT ... is awesome.

[Drill King]

I hate packaged cakes :c My friend loves frozen Ah Caramels. But I hate Them.

Wait is that a canada thing to do? I thought it was just my friend.

[David_Dovey]

As far as I can tell they only exist in Canada. And maybe only Eastern Canada, seeing as I haven't been able to find them here (although that may be because of Canmore being relatively small, maybe they're around somewhere in Calgary?)

Anyway dear, almost-but-not-quite-foods thread; today at breakfast I had a smores flavoured Pop-tart.

[Lunchbox]

This is the latest data I could find for obesity rates in countries:

http://durangobese.blogspot.com/2010/10/top-30-obese-nations-of-world-with.html

Australia is #6 but they must not be counting Sydney because everyone here is relatively slim due to all the cigarettes and drugs and stress.

[mberan42]

Also Burger King in Australia (there are some, but most of them are rebranded as Hungry Jacks) doesn't taste the same as american ones. Also it's not served to me by people with delightful american accents. It makes me sad.

No no no no no no no, Jimmy, you have it all wrong. AUSTRALIANS are the ones with delightful accents, not Americans!

[Runs_With_Scissors]

Stress always makes me eat more. I've heard everything tastes better when you're emotional. Also, Twinkies have a 25 day shelf life, if that means anything to anyone. This makes me sad because I thought they were indestructible.

[Lunchbox]

Dude Hartley WTF

[Runs_With_Scissors]

I died then came back to life. The underworld is excellent but I missed you guys.

[David_Dovey]

Hi!

[Runs_With_Scissors]

Hello! I see everyone is still doing well.

[Scandanavian War Machine]

that's what you think!



...no, yeah, we're fine.

So I went to the store earlier with the intention buying some zingers because of this thread, but once I was standing there in front of the aisle-end altar to sugar and preservatives, I just...couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to relive being 12 and eating a bunch of sugary crap with wild abandon.

I will remember them as they were, delicious and harmless, and try not to ruin them with stuff like "facts" and "the truth." Rose-colored glasses, and all that.

[Lunchbox]

Man, I wonder what the cream buns we used to get in primary school would taste like these days. They were basically just a bread roll filled with fake whipped cream.

[KharBevNor]

In my head, the fake whipped cream is like expanding sealant foam.

[Jimmy the Squid]

In reality, that is not that far from the truth.

[Lines]

Yeah, that's a pretty accurate statement. It's scary.

[nockiemommy]

Well. Hell.

Thank you, Australians. I never once had a Chocodile (in fact, never had I heard of a chocolate-coated Twinkie before this post) in my life, but after hearing and seeing these lamingtons, I had to Google them.

Upon finding a recipe for them, being a home-baker, I had to make them. 3 DIFFERENT RECIPES ... I am weak. But my neighbors and ladies at my church now love me for it. Lamingtons have been officially released into the Kansas City Metropolitan area!

LOOK OUT, AMERICA!

[Inlander]

Watch out, soon you'll start becoming embroiled in interminable lamington debates such as "Jam: bastardisation or essential ingredient?" and . . . Actually that's the only one, really.

[Lunchbox]

I venture that the same question could be asked of cream.

[celticgeek]

Actually, I figure that is just what the Kansas City Metropolitan area needs, nockiemommy.  Keep up the good work!