ABSTRACTwhat's up
cockgobblers here's the new shit in town it's called
the Carlos Santana Game and it's what a motherfucker plays to prove how hard, how raw, how goddamn
real he fucking is. or she. motherfuckers transcend traditional gender norms y'all
if you don't know about santana's 18th record – a cumulation of all things santana, really – then you're about to get fucked up the ass by the rock hard dick of knowledge.
guitar heaven is santana's covers record, a crapload of tracks that santana has deemed historically significant and worthy of santanization. santana – perhaps the sole true guitar hero of our time, as evidenced by his role in the
guitar hero series of games by harmonix & red octane – decided to lay down a searing collection of these songs rendered in his own idiosyncratic and dare i say
fucking brilliant style, recruiting a slew of high-calibre guest stars (and i mean stars) to live up to the legacies of the vocalists in the way that santana and his immaculate crew of studio musicians live up to the legacies of the musicians behind those vocalists.
don't believe me?
listen for yourself, shitstains.
I BET YOU ARE NOW WONDERING: "AT WHAT POINT DOES THIS BECOME A GAME, AS OPPOSED TO THE NIGHTMARE HELL I AM CURRENTLY LIVING BY CLICKING ON THAT YOUTUBE LINK"well you are lucky that point is
right fucking now.
the game is simple. you simply hypothesize a song that santana would cover, with an artist that would be in santana's manager's rolodex – or maybe that santana himself would like! obviously this leaves a bunch of artists out. if you suggest that he'd cover a neutral milk hotel song you're maybe retarded. ditto with recruiting like m. ward or something. don't make that joke, it's not fucking funny and like pales in comparison to the actual real life joke of Santana ft. Nas - "Back In Black (AC/DC)."
but it also opens possibilities. turn on the local dadrock station. now turn on the local hard rock station. congratulations, you've listened to, respectively, a potential cover song and a potential singer. maybe turn on a pop station and take a risk. face it – as funny as you might think mf doom might be attached to it, "fight for your right to party" wouldn't be a santana cover unless you could get ke$ha involved.
santana is an eclectic dude, I GUESS, but he's also like painfully unaware of anything subcultural – if it's not something millions of people have heard, and not something with the potential for a rippin' guitar solo, he's not interested, dig? so you can play around a bit but you've got to kind of set your sights on something he might actually do. that's what makes the game funny, you know? the best ones are ones you can actually hear in your mind.
okay i've got cranky and distracted here's the format for the game.
POST ONE OF THESE THINGS:
Santana ft. _________ - "Song You've Chosen"
Santana ft. Artist You've Chosen - "____________"
where the Whatever You've Chosen is chosen by you, the poster. the fun comes in the blank – the blank is what other posters will fill in. then the poster who did the filling in posts a new thing and it begins all over like the circle of life or the rock cycle or some shit. is this clear? no. maybe this will clarify for you.
POSTER ONE:
Santana ft. Tyler Connolly – "______"
POSTER TWO:
Santana ft. Tyler Connolly – "Smokin' In The Boys Room"
Santana ft. ________ – "I Heard It Through The Grapevine"
do you get it okay i'm going to start now now now now now now now now now now now now
Santana ft. Alicia Keys - "_____________"
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Topic: As Promised Here Is The Carlos Santana Game (Read 57376 times)