Y'all can thank themacnut for me dropping out of lurker status and actually posting. I don't feel sorry for Dora, and it's actually fairly aggravating that she's getting all of this undeserved support. My ex ruined a perfectly good relationship based on similarly flimsy reasoning and insecurities, and it pissed me off just as much back then that she was reassured and coddled by our social circle while I got the boot. I may be tough, but kicking me when I'm down provokes me to break you, not "get over it."
Eventually, it resulted in our social circle splitting into halves in a very messy, extended breakdown. I understand a writer's desire and vulnerability through their characters, but Dora did something that shouldn't be minimized so...trivially.
Yes, how dare she break up with Marten rather than continuing a relationship that she felt she couldn't be secure in and she couldn't see through to the long-term without the fighting constantly happening. How dare she break up with Marten rather than making him go through her recovery with her, which could have resulted in a break-up anyway. How dare she spare him the stress. How dare she, that selfish bitch.
Am I getting the tone right?
Get your knickers out of their twist, Geoff. I don't see anything in my, cuzsis' or david's where we demonize her. Shall we dissect my post sentence by sentence?
I don't feel sorry for Dora
This sentence means I don't feel sympathy for the character in this instance. I did not call her a selfish bitch, nor did I particularly go out of my way to declare her a plague upon mankind. In fact, I didn't say anything about Dora, I simply said that I did not feel an emotion where I would want to give her a "break," as Americans put it.
it's actually fairly aggravating that she's getting all of this undeserved support.
Here we get into the emotional part. I find the support and sympathy she's getting by the metric ton to be aggravating, as I do not feel it is deserved. Why I feel it is undeserved, whatever her insecurities?
My ex ruined a perfectly good relationship based on similarly flimsy reasoning and insecurities, and it pissed me off just as much back then that she was reassured and coddled by our social circle while I got the boot.
Here I explain why I feel this support is undeserved. Flimsy reasoning and insecurities do NOT make for adequate excuses. Your trollish (or fanboyish?) response to mine communicates clearly that you consider it sufficient, but do cite however many times Marten became jealous, tested his girlfriend, or otherwise reacted in an extreme manner. Marten was so loyal that he felt awful about the Hanner boob incident, even though it wasn't his fault. Dora felt insecure about Faye. Alright, fine. She felt insecure because Marten previously liked Faye. Ok, fine. ...so what? Marten did not cheat on her, did not do anything with Faye. They went out of their way to make her see nothing was happening or would happen. She let an insecurity define her. Very unhealthy, very inexcusable. If it was such a major issue she did not have the mental strength to overcome (to be honest, I don't think many of our lovable QC crew are very mentally strong, so no slap against Dora), then she should have sought some help long ago.
I may be tough, but kicking me when I'm down provokes me to break you, not "get over it."
This is me exploring how people are treating Marty. Marty responds to tough love much more passive aggressively than I would. I'm not saying he'll explode, but it's not having the desired effect because it's too soon for one, and for another, it takes too much for him to get angry.
Eventually, it resulted in our social circle splitting into halves in a very messy, extended breakdown. I understand a writer's desire and vulnerability through their characters, but Dora did something that shouldn't be minimized so...trivially.
What happened in my instance? My social circle split up very messily, one half with me, the other with her. As a writer, I understand that many writers put bits of themselves in their characters, and react very negatively to personal criticism of that character, as they feel it's aimed at them. However, Dora did something that is her own fault. She's an adult and she has not really faced any consequences for her action, which never should have happened in the first place. She's getting coddled, while the break up, her fault, has had more negative consequences on Marten than her. Her role and fault have been trivialized, minimized, swept under the rug.
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Topic: WCDT January 3-7, 2011 (1831-1835) (Read 106624 times)