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Author Topic: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians  (Read 14582 times)

Ballard

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Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« on: 11 Jan 2011, 12:25 »

This is bigger than the Pointless Thread. This is bigger than you, bitch. This is Epic Meal Time.

Synopsis: A bunch of Canadians get gloriously, belligerently wasted and then cook the most offensive, excessive, over-the-top food imaginable. It's a beautiful world that has this show in it.

The Worst Pizza Ever!
(the best pizza ever)

The Greasiest Sandwich Ever

The Death of the Double Down
what's the Double Down? the manliest burger on the fast food menu, or nothing but a little BITCH?

Massive Meat Log
three different types of animals.. and cheese

TurBaconEpic
(a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a bird in a pig)

Breakfast of Booze

Fast Food Sushi

Meatball Deathstar

Slaughterhouse Christmas Special
gingerbread house made of meat

The Black Legend - Epic Dessert Time

Epic Eggroll

Chili Four Loko

New episodes every week!
« Last Edit: 11 Jan 2011, 12:33 by Ballard »
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Tom

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Re: Epic Meal Time
« Reply #1 on: 11 Jan 2011, 12:30 »

I'm going to be sick.
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Re: Epic Meal Time
« Reply #2 on: 11 Jan 2011, 12:33 »

getting drunk off pancakes is a new life aspiration for me.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #3 on: 11 Jan 2011, 12:46 »

Attention: My appraisal of yr personality will be judged solely on how you react to this thread. Tread wisely.
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It's a roasted cocoa bean, commonly found in vaginas.

greenMonkey

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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #4 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:03 »

My older sister showed me this a couple weeks ago.  I think this may be one of the best things I've ever seen on the internet.

BACON
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scarred

Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #5 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:20 »

i stopped watching after like 30 seconds because the douchebag annoyed the piss out of me

then i remembered about http://www.thisiswhyyourefat.com/ and wondered why i bothered clicking any of those links in the first place
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #6 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:24 »

man dovey i didnt know posting in this thread had repercussions, way to warn a dude before he posts.
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Avec

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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #7 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:26 »

The pork holy grail, filled with 4 Loko. Yes.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #8 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:27 »

Don't worry, I don't think that had negative repercussions.

I'd like this more if they were more about the meat than the ridiculous amounts of fat. I am always up for new ways to hit my protein intake for the day, but all that fat kind of puts me off.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #9 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:34 »

My husband, my sister's boyfriend, and I spent an unsociable amount of time watching these at my Grandma's house at Christmas. My favorite (and the first one we watched) is the bird/bird/bird/pig Thanksgiving epic. I think the best part is the bacon strips - and bacon strips - and bacon strips - and bacon strips. The worst thing is the inch-thick slab of turpiggen monstrosity served by hand. But I'm also a fan of the Breakfast House to Keep the Haters Out.
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Ballard

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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #10 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:35 »

i'd rather read food blogs than watch these stupid bros act way too intense about everything
Taking out the Michael Bay score would help

The cheesy epic music raises it to the perfect level of douchey kitsch, and the bro thing is clearly tongue in cheek. There are dozens of moments where you can tell they're just fucking around with the Chuggo act.

Literally the only valid reasons to dislike this is are if you're vegetarian, vegan, or serious about a healthy lifestyle.
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Ballard

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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #11 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:36 »

then i remembered about http://www.thisiswhyyourefat.com/ and wondered why i bothered clicking any of those links in the first place

That was good but this is superior.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #12 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:42 »

Kinda hope that they do get noticeably fatter as they continue to make these videos
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #13 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:44 »

I'm vegetarian. This kind of fits into the I-would-rather-see-someone-else-do-this phenomenon. I guess you could easily group it with Jackass and all the other "Don't try this at home" television programs.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #14 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:49 »

I'm carnivorous and this show makes me hungry.

Nah, Dovey, that would be sad. I don't wanna see this dude have a fucking coronary for his troubles.

I'm sure they're pretty careful about consuming 90,000 calorie meals. Like, generally the eating portion of the show is a few novelty shots of one person devouring everything so I reckon they don't actually consume everything in equal portions on a weekly basis. That would be disastrous.
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Ballard

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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #15 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:51 »

I'd just like to add:

I fried some fucking bacon and I put it in a pie; aw c'mon fuck a guy.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #16 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:53 »

Gene, you are not a carnivore. Don't be stupid.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #17 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:54 »

This thread actually makes me a bit sad that I am a vegetarian because bacon chocolate chip waffles with Baileys bacon whipped cream sounds like the best breakfast ever.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #18 on: 11 Jan 2011, 13:55 »

This just looks like my regular meal times.
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Ballard

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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #19 on: 11 Jan 2011, 14:03 »

Gene, you are not a carnivore. Don't be stupid.

Whoops I meant omnivore.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #20 on: 11 Jan 2011, 14:05 »

I really don't understand how you can say you're not good at being a student Ryan because from all evidence extant on this forum you are definitely doing it up right.

OK so I wanted to hold off on putting my opinion here so people wouldn't be self-conscious about my judgment and just try to please me lolololololololol

But I think I'd really hate this if it weren't for the charming Canadianess of it all. Sole saving grace. (the guy is actually pretty funny too. "Next Week We Eat a Library" "All this Sauce"). I got tired of thisiswhyyou'refat pretty quickly, especially when it became apparent people were making literally inedible slop piles for the sole purpose of sending them in to thisiswhyyou'refat, and maybe I'll get tired of this too. But for now, thumbs up.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #21 on: 11 Jan 2011, 14:06 »

bacon. bacon. Bacon. BACON. BACON. BACON. BACON. BACON. BACON.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #22 on: 11 Jan 2011, 14:12 »

That's exactly it, Dovey. This isn't just a novelty gross-out thing. In spite of the ridiculous act, these guys actually know how to cook really well and make delicious food which is challenging to prepare given the size of the dishes and which I want to eat. I'm excited to see what they come up with every week.

This Is Why You're Fat just turned into endless garbage plate recipes.
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Re: Epic Meal Time
« Reply #23 on: 11 Jan 2011, 14:27 »

getting drunk off pancakes is a new life aspiration for me.

Brandy syrup is pretty much the nicest thing. A 350 mL and 2 cups of sugar (simmer on medium-low heat until the tiny bubbles become large burbles) is all you need.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #24 on: 11 Jan 2011, 15:03 »

This is actually pretty funny! I think the best part is that they actually seem to be pretty good at cooking.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #25 on: 11 Jan 2011, 15:14 »

The bird-bird-bird-bird-bird-bird-pig thing got me thinking:

What's the world record for most birds/animals stuffed inside one another, then cooked and eaten?

There's bound to be someone who has done like...an ostrich-emu-flamingo-eagle-hawk-falcon-turkey-duck-hen-quail-sparrow thing, right?
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #26 on: 11 Jan 2011, 15:28 »

Turkeys are bigger than falcons and hawks. Hawks and falcons wouldn't have much meat on them. Dove would be more likely than sparrow. Goose should be in there somewhere, I bet you could fit a snow goose inside a Canada goose. The problem would be all the bones, especially on the smaller birds. All of the meat on a dove is about the size of two quarters of a small apple. Other than that it is a lot of tiny bones you really don't want to swallow.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #27 on: 11 Jan 2011, 15:28 »

Love the eggroll. Would eat that eggroll for sure.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #28 on: 11 Jan 2011, 15:46 »

You debone all the birds before you stuff them.

Shane, I'm pretty sure that record was set by some ancient pagan festival. Can't be too sure which. The Babylonians, Greeks, and Romans were all big fans of absurd Frankenstein meat creations.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #30 on: 11 Jan 2011, 15:52 »

I like this:

Quote
One version of an extravagant telescoping of stuffed and cooked animals has an olive as the innermost ingredient. Only the olive is eaten, the rest is discarded.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #31 on: 11 Jan 2011, 15:52 »

Turkeys are bigger than falcons and hawks. Hawks and falcons wouldn't have much meat on them. Dove would be more likely than sparrow. Goose should be in there somewhere, I bet you could fit a snow goose inside a Canada goose. The problem would be all the bones, especially on the smaller birds. All of the meat on a dove is about the size of two quarters of a small apple. Other than that it is a lot of tiny bones you really don't want to swallow.

Holy SHIT Kaleb, it was a hypothetical situation of bird stuffing.  :psyduck:
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #33 on: 11 Jan 2011, 16:01 »

I feel like everything in this thread I would need a bib for.
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Ozymandias

Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #35 on: 11 Jan 2011, 17:30 »

Man.

That Double Kill.

Looks so delicious.

Fuck.

FUCK IT.

I'm gonna make something like that. The wife is gonna go to the spa sometime this month for a weekend.

And that weekend my spa is meat.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #36 on: 11 Jan 2011, 18:13 »

Veeeeeegan meal time

That was awesome.
That looked like compost. Pretty sure it tasted about as good, too.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #37 on: 11 Jan 2011, 18:45 »

Veeeeeegan meal time
I loved the hilarious ethnic slurs aimed at Chinese and Vietnamese people. Just shows you can be a vegan and a racist prick.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #38 on: 11 Jan 2011, 18:47 »

garlic > bacon.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #39 on: 11 Jan 2011, 18:49 »

Veeeeeegan meal time
I loved the hilarious ethnic slurs aimed at Chinese and Vietnamese people. Just shows you can be a vegan and a racist prick.
Wait, what? I missed something. I could see the Vietnamese part (although, being American, I took it to be a joke about the Vietnam war and having to do terrible things). Where was the ethnic slur against chinese people?

edit: Wait, you mean the part about male chickens? The comment aimed at the Chinese government? Tell me something, how do you fit through doors with that chip on your shoulder?
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #40 on: 11 Jan 2011, 18:53 »

I was thinking more along the lines that this is an obvious parody of a show with super strong (even if they themselves are parodying it) bro culture funnies.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #41 on: 11 Jan 2011, 18:59 »

Also, vegans are strident.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #42 on: 11 Jan 2011, 18:59 »

I'll just stick with Man v. Food, thanks.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #43 on: 11 Jan 2011, 19:10 »

Oh, believe me. A lot of the videos in the OP, it will be man vs food in a few hours.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #44 on: 11 Jan 2011, 19:52 »

Wait, what? I missed something. I could see the Vietnamese part (although, being American, I took it to be a joke about the Vietnam war and having to do terrible things). Where was the ethnic slur against chinese people?
edit: Wait, you mean the part about male chickens? The comment aimed at the Chinese government? Tell me something, how do you fit through doors with that chip on your shoulder?
The video made no reference to the Chinese government at all, but simply "China", the land where I was born*. Since nobody makes jokes about mere geographical expressions, I read the remark as aimed at Chinese people. I read the Vietnam remark as no more than a standard white-person gibe about East Asian dietary habits (the Vietnam War never occurred to me). Basically the guy was simply using Asian countries as metaphors for something bad. And you have a problem with my attitude? Try maintaining a sense of humour when you face a lifetime of "funny" remarks like that about your national origin, or native culture. Make like a turducken, and get stuffed!

*But no, I don't kill babies, chickens, bunnies, or even eat meat.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #45 on: 11 Jan 2011, 20:00 »

Is there a way to say "I think you're being a little over sensitive" without sounding like a marginalizing white dude?
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #46 on: 11 Jan 2011, 20:05 »

No. There is also no polite way to call some-one tone deaf.

Akima, it was pretty obviously meta-humour satirising the attitudes and oratorical mannerisms of strident vegans and bros.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #47 on: 11 Jan 2011, 20:07 »

I understand that there is a lot of racism in Australia, that doesn't even have the decency to be recognized as a problem by the general populace (unlike in the US). On the other hand, that's no excuse for you making racism accusations and then getting defensive when people point out what you missed. And that is a really shitty argument. You know as well as I do that people refer to China instead of "The People's Republic of China" (or the Republic of China, depending on where you stand on that matter), America instead of "The United States of America", or Australia instead of "The Commonwealth of Australia." When someone makes reference to killing babies and China, maybe you should get off of your high horse and remember that the PRC currently has a law that leads to illegal babies being killed, and that it isn't racist to point out how fucked up that is.
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #48 on: 11 Jan 2011, 20:59 »

Why the hell are we talking about this instead of this?
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Re: Epic Meal Time - Not Safe For Vegetarians
« Reply #49 on: 11 Jan 2011, 21:03 »

Is this really going to be the thread where we condescend toward one of the very few actual minority members of the (lower) forum for being sensitive toward potentially racist comments?

Because I was pretty happy with the insane meat fiesta of the first post.
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