THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

  • 18 Apr 2024, 19:32
  • Welcome, Guest
Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Hail to the king? Anyone?  (Read 18143 times)

xTheFreeMason

  • Not quite a lurker
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8
  • I am a sexual being. Are you horrified?
Hail to the king? Anyone?
« on: 01 Jun 2011, 03:33 »

I sometimes feel that I'm the only person in the UK that's excited about Duke Nukem Forever. Surely you guys are? Badass one liners and copious sexual references are something that every QC fan likes, right?

Or maybe some of you played the original Duke Nukem games? In which case good for you. I wasn't born when the first one came out. Do you feel old now?
Logged
I am a cynical optimist. I see the best in everyone but expect the worst from them. I think that everything will be fine but secretly know that one day I'll wake up and everyone will be dead.

That... did not go where I expected it to go. Um...

Tiogyr

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 304
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #1 on: 01 Jun 2011, 06:26 »

It's difficult to get excited for a game that has been in development hell since 1997.
Logged

Blyss

  • 1-800-SCABIES
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 821
  • I got skillz with the plastic motherfucker. SKILLZ
    • Gamers like games
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #2 on: 01 Jun 2011, 06:29 »

I played the first one, and the following titles.  Not particularly excited for this one.  There are plenty of other titles out and coming out for me to part with my cash.
Logged
"Psychos?!  Did they look like psychos?  They were vampires!  Psychos DO NOT explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!"  Seth Gecko

My blog

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #3 on: 01 Jun 2011, 11:48 »

even if you weren't around for the first one you can go back to it with the magic of modern technology.

But yeah what the two above me said.
« Last Edit: 02 Jun 2011, 10:18 by JD »
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

ackblom12

  • Guest
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #4 on: 01 Jun 2011, 13:40 »

Fuck you guys this is going to be great.
Logged

Scandanavian War Machine

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,159
  • zzzzzzzz
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #5 on: 01 Jun 2011, 17:18 »

i'll believe it when i see it

i'm just bummed that Gearbox has been working on this and whatever their new game is, instead of Borderlands 2

because that's something to look forward to, i tell you what
Logged
Quote from: KvP
Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

est

  • this is a test
  • Admin emeritus
  • Older than Moses
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,157
  • V O L L E Y B A L L
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #6 on: 02 Jun 2011, 02:39 »

Not overly excited for this.
Logged

Blue Kitty

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,964
    • Twitter
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #7 on: 02 Jun 2011, 08:58 »

I just don't know. Even though Gearbox is making it I still can't muster up any ounce of caring for Duke Nukem.
Logged

Tom

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,037
  • 8==D(_(_(
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #8 on: 02 Jun 2011, 14:57 »

This is on my probably won't be stuffed to play list, right next to FFXIII-2 (apparently listening to user feedback =/= scrapping glorified rock paper scissors combat).
Logged

Tiogyr

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 304
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #9 on: 03 Jun 2011, 05:57 »

This is on my probably won't be stuffed to play list, right next to FFXIII-2 (apparently listening to user feedback =/= scrapping glorified rock paper scissors combat).

Oh yeah, was FFXIII the one that reduced combat to basically "Spam Attack To Win"?

EDIT for relevant thread content:

« Last Edit: 03 Jun 2011, 07:17 by Tiogyr »
Logged

Buttfranklin

  • Cthulhu f'tagn
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 532
  • bruce
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #10 on: 03 Jun 2011, 11:32 »

Downloading the demo!  I'll let you chummios know how it goes.
Logged
I tried to romance a lady photographer once. But it didn't work out because I could never understand about f-spots.

Ozymandias

  • Older than Moses
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,497
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #11 on: 03 Jun 2011, 12:04 »

Everyone in this thread but Steve sucks.
Logged
You are 9/11.
You are the terrorist.

Buttfranklin

  • Cthulhu f'tagn
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 532
  • bruce
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #12 on: 03 Jun 2011, 12:49 »

Well, I played the demo for the 360.

It went... Okay.

The graphics are nice, the chuckles are good, but the enemies are pretty boring and the weapons just feel clunky and ineffective.  The only weapons that seemed to pack any kick were the shrink ray and the shotgun.

The humor was nice, though!  At one point you have to knock down some planks to get into a mine and the Duke remark, "A crowbar would really come in handy right about now."  There were other good laughs, but the Half Life fan that I am liked that one.
Logged
I tried to romance a lady photographer once. But it didn't work out because I could never understand about f-spots.

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #13 on: 03 Jun 2011, 14:16 »

I remember picking up a PC Gamer in '97 that had a showcase of all the upcoming FPS games that were soon to battle it out in the marketplace. Frontrunners were SiN, Quake 2, and Daikatana. There was a 2-page spread for Duke Nukem Forever, with prelim screenshots and everything. A single page was given to Half-Life. Daikatana was deemed the most promising of the pack, given its lofty ambitions (sidekicks with their own personalities and preferences! Swordplay! Choices!)

I'm not 11 anymore, though. I'm 95% sure that Painkiller will have given me everything that this game offers, in a leaner, more fun package. Pass.
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

LTK

  • Methuselah's mentor
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,009
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #14 on: 03 Jun 2011, 16:10 »

I guess the problem with this game is that, when it got around to being released, its target audience had grown out of it.
Logged
Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #15 on: 03 Jun 2011, 21:58 »

Everyone in this thread but Steve sucks.
Including you?
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

satsugaikaze

  • Vagina Manifesto
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 678
  • I LOVE BELL PEPPERS.
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #16 on: 04 Jun 2011, 06:04 »

I gotta be honest here

Looking forward more to Serious Sam 3.

 :mrgreen:
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #17 on: 05 Jun 2011, 13:01 »

I've heard a lot of toxic stuff around the demo. Has anybody played it?
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

SilentJ

  • Beyoncé
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 736
  • You're talking shit. Explain yourself.
    • I say things sometimes.
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #18 on: 06 Jun 2011, 00:29 »

I played it Saturday night.

Oh man, I'm excited.  I love the visceral thrill of these games.  I know they're not going to be the best.  But god dammit they're going over the top with everything and I'm going to love it all.
Logged
i shotgunned a beer, made my facebook pic an american flag, and have been yelling "AMURIKA" all evening.

LeeC

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,031
  • Be excellent to each other, party on Dudes!
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #19 on: 06 Jun 2011, 11:12 »

I remember playing the old games, the trailers look over the top. Some how I have a feeling that if I get this game I will be hit in the head with a rolling pin by my girlfriend haha.


I have a feeling this will be one of those all hype releases, but hey you never know.
Logged
You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it. - M. Gustave

ackblom12

  • Guest
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #20 on: 06 Jun 2011, 11:17 »

Fuck you guys this is going to be great.
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #21 on: 06 Jun 2011, 11:28 »

One pretty good explanation for the ambivalence this is causing me that someone else expressed is that the Duke Nukem of the 90's was a fun character who was an amalgamation of a number of different references from the era, particularly the golden age of slightly sleazy beefcake action (Schwarzenegger, They Live, etc). It's been so long that the Duke Nukem of Forever doesn't really reference anything but Duke Nukem, and it's kinda lame.
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

TheEvilDog

  • Guest
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #22 on: 12 Jun 2011, 08:25 »

Its the video game version of Chinese Democracy.

I kinda want to play it, but at the same time part of me is screaming no. Loudly. Right into my ear. Via several megaphones and a surround sound system.
Logged

Buttfranklin

  • Cthulhu f'tagn
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 532
  • bruce
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #23 on: 12 Jun 2011, 21:48 »

I've heard a lot of toxic stuff around the demo. Has anybody played it?
I feel like my last post was just an echo in an empty chamber...  :cry:

But to recap:  the controls are clunky, the enemies are uninspired, the weapons are boring and feel weak, and overall it's just boring.
Logged
I tried to romance a lady photographer once. But it didn't work out because I could never understand about f-spots.

est

  • this is a test
  • Admin emeritus
  • Older than Moses
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,157
  • V O L L E Y B A L L
Logged

est

  • this is a test
  • Admin emeritus
  • Older than Moses
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,157
  • V O L L E Y B A L L
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #25 on: 13 Jun 2011, 21:43 »

Kuchera fights the good fight.
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #26 on: 13 Jun 2011, 22:28 »

DNF Duke Nukem is practically a marty stu character tailored specifically to Jim Sterling and even he hates this game.
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #27 on: 13 Jun 2011, 22:44 »

Hey wanna see some NSFW concept art?

Also here's a video of the thing that creeps the shit out of even hardcore dickheads like Jim Sterling. It is pretty fucked and you will regret watching it, almost as much as people will regret buying this game.

Man I remember when I thought Gearbox was cool
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #28 on: 14 Jun 2011, 00:35 »

I think Gearbox just glued together what 3D Realms had and polished it a little.
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #29 on: 14 Jun 2011, 00:43 »

I guess it's a good thing it's been nearly 15 years or else this whole boring maps and regenerating health bullshit would be upsetting. Still, the fact that the game is that tone deaf is pretty depressing. Even a dopey ass franchise like Duke deserves better than that.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

maxusy3k

  • FIGHT YOU
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 436
  • Lurker of Lovecraftian proportion
    • Obligatory Social Networking Page
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #30 on: 14 Jun 2011, 11:29 »

I wonder how quickly and how far Gearbox will work to distance themselves from this now.
Logged

LeeC

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,031
  • Be excellent to each other, party on Dudes!
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #31 on: 14 Jun 2011, 12:41 »

somehow I knew this would happen but damn.
Logged
You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it. - M. Gustave

Blue Kitty

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,964
    • Twitter
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #32 on: 14 Jun 2011, 12:43 »

Yeah, called it
Logged

LeeC

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,031
  • Be excellent to each other, party on Dudes!
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #33 on: 14 Jun 2011, 12:59 »

I kind of felt like this game development was the arc of the covenant.  Was a great thing but later lost by its creators.  Once it is found and opened by others it kills the franchise and no one would dare open it again.

Logged
You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it. - M. Gustave

est

  • this is a test
  • Admin emeritus
  • Older than Moses
  • *
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 4,157
  • V O L L E Y B A L L
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #34 on: 14 Jun 2011, 16:44 »

Another review, pretty much the same as the last:

http://www.giantbomb.com/duke-nukem-forever/61-20721/reviews/
Logged

KvP

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,599
  • COME DOWN NOW
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #35 on: 14 Jun 2011, 17:26 »

A little bit disorienting that Jim Sterling blasts the game's misogyny and Gerstmann just about handwaves it.
Logged
I review, sometimes.
Quote from: Andy
I love this vagina store!
Quote from: Andy
SNEAKY
I sneak that shit
And liek
OMG DICK JERK

Johnny C

  • Mentat
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 9,483
  • i wanna be yr slide dog
    • I AM A WHORE FOR MY OWN MUSIC
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #36 on: 14 Jun 2011, 21:33 »

weird. he says it's creepy, offensive, and sociopathic, but you're right about it seeming like handwaving. i got the feeling he was trying to say that it was so patently awful that it's obvious to anyone who plays it and thus seems barely even worthwhile to even point out? not that that's really an excuse.
Logged
[02:12] yuniorpocalypse: let's talk about girls
[02:12] Thug In Kitchen: nooo

Caleb

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,141
  • Dewey Decimal Vessel.
    • Blog
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #37 on: 15 Jun 2011, 07:40 »

It really seems like it could have been really easy to make this game.

Just like include the magic weapon backpack that lets you carry 10 different weapons and not have any regenerating health.

Or even just have an option not to have regen health.

Shit man.
Logged

Tiogyr

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 304
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #38 on: 15 Jun 2011, 08:12 »

Does anyone have that "Manly Men Doing Manly Things" comic where Captain Badass is having to talk Duke off a ledge, with Duke crying about how "nobody understands" him?
Logged

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #39 on: 15 Jun 2011, 08:16 »

Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #40 on: 15 Jun 2011, 08:58 »

Yeah, that comic definitely occurred to me as I kept reading reviews commenting on how Duke seems like a pathetic sociopath now more ever.
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Blue Kitty

  • WoW gold miner on break
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 6,964
    • Twitter
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #41 on: 15 Jun 2011, 09:08 »

For a comic called Manly Men Doing Manly Things, it really tugs at the heart strings
Logged

Caleb

  • Bling blang blong blung
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,141
  • Dewey Decimal Vessel.
    • Blog
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #42 on: 15 Jun 2011, 09:55 »

I don't get why they tried so hard to have little jokes in cut scenes and stuff.

I was watching a lets play of this game and it just doesn't seem like a Duke game at all.

It's like all the stupid humor and crap in the original game was something you could stop and look at if you wanted or you could simply just run through the levels killing aliens and exploding stuff.

The way that this game like STOPS all the action just to make lame jokes is stupid as hell.

And the level design from the stuff I saw was insanely linear.  Like it was fun in the original duke to almost get lost in the branching ways you could get through a level.

Now there is no reason to.

Physics puzzles???  Really?
« Last Edit: 15 Jun 2011, 09:57 by Caleb »
Logged

JD

  • coprophage
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 7,803
  • The Phallussar
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #43 on: 15 Jun 2011, 10:04 »

Where is Ackbloom? we need some sort of dissenting opinion in here
Logged
Quote from: Jimmy the Squid
Hey JD, I really like your penis, man.

Mein Tumblr

Tiogyr

  • Pneumatic ratchet pants
  • ***
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 304
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #44 on: 15 Jun 2011, 11:16 »

For a comic called Manly Men Doing Manly Things, it really tugs at the heart strings

This would have been a much better game, for sure.



Logged

snalin

  • Vulcan 3-D Chess Master
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 3,540
  • You may Baste me
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #45 on: 15 Jun 2011, 13:22 »

I tried the original dn3d the other day (too young to have played it the first time around), and it was pretty damn cool. Not a great game, really - I got lost something bad and I don't really have the patience for looking for more than 5 minutes for the way out before I look up a walkthrough, and there were some places where you were taking heavy damage without feeling that you would've done better if you were more skilled, but still a good game. Looking at TotalBiscuit's first impression video, this doesn't look great at all. For someone like me who didn't play the originals a lot, the jokes wouldn't make any sense, and there's a lot of... standing around. Which isn't great in any game.

It feels like they've tried to make the game in the style that was the shit just before cover based combat became what everybody started doing (like, uh, I guess Doom 3), but felt the need to build it around a gimmick character. I hope the new Serious same games don't suffer the same problem.
Logged
I am a cowboy / on a steel horse I ride
I am wanted / Dead or alive

LeeC

  • Nearly grown up
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 8,031
  • Be excellent to each other, party on Dudes!
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #46 on: 15 Jun 2011, 15:27 »

wow the meta score on steam gives it a 59/100.  that has to be one the lowest scored games ive seen on steam.  Especially that it was just launched with so much hype.

so question for those who have played it.

Is it bad like watching a bad movie when your bored and it entertains you?

or

is it bad like it should be burned and never allowed to see the light of day?
Logged
You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it. - M. Gustave

Alex C

  • comeback tour!
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 5,915
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #47 on: 15 Jun 2011, 16:02 »

Pretty obviously the latter. The forced to stand around thing is really, really awful and seems to highlight the worst excesses of the original game. The humor in Duke 3d was never particularly funny and was never very tasteful-- at best, Duke was just quoting Army of Darkness ad nauseum and at worst the infestation thing was pretty disgusting even if was presented as largely a flimsy excuse to riff off of Aliens. The impregnation thing never needed to be elaborated upon or made more explicit and just parking the player in front of it feels rather like a crazy person pulling you aside so they can show you the turd they just finished bronzing.
« Last Edit: 15 Jun 2011, 18:02 by Alex C »
Logged
the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

satsugaikaze

  • Vagina Manifesto
  • ****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 678
  • I LOVE BELL PEPPERS.
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #48 on: 15 Jun 2011, 19:04 »

<- Waiting for the parody series to deliver a better gameplay experience lol
Logged

J

  • Scrabble hacker
  • *****
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 1,391
  • Godkiller
    • My GlobalComicJam profile
Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #49 on: 16 Jun 2011, 01:09 »

duke nukem is a parody series
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up