I can't help noticing the people who excuse Faye's actions are male (and therefore not victims in that way of the real life Fayes) and older (forgotten what it feels like).
I'm a teenage girl
And I've been a victim, of people with some qualities similar to Faye's, but not of Fayes. I also get how much it sucks that the quiet person in the media is always just portrayed as 'the quiet person', since you mentioned Marigold.
If I met Faye in real life (this is so weird) she would make me feel anxious because I wouldn't know how to handle her and I would feel like her treatment of me was because I wasn't 'cool enough'. But after a while it would develop into,"That's just Faye" and I wouldn't take it personally. The thing that I think is different about her is she's not a 'pretty girl' nor is she that arrogant 'smart girl' who tries to make people feel stupid. No malice, nothing directed at specific people, no hidden agendas. Sometimes I say tactless things without thinking. I'm not physically violent, but I have tendency to shoot nasty looks when I'm annoyed. I actually can't control this stuff! When I try to explain, I get the "BUT STILL, you should have paid more attention." I think you don't excuse Faye's behaviour because you don't realise you are a lot more socially apt than she is in that way. You already know how to be nice (and it is totes a skill that you learn and it doesn't always make you a more moral person) and it comes easily to you. Unlike others who struggle to control their feelings and see Faye as an exaggerated version of their problem. I hope nobody like you has ever been a victim of mine.
(I'm sorry! I meant for that to only be two lines! If this means nothing to you, fan, then you don't have to respond.)
If Dora was so insecure about Marten's ex-nothing, how is she going to cope with an ex-wife?
Well, as one who has both an ex-nothing and an ex-wife, I can say they are very different (and not varying degrees of the same), and I'm not sure which would be more difficult to deal with for a potential girlfriend. On the one hand an ex-nothing represents something that still has possibility, even if neither party wishes to pursue that possibility. An ex-wife on the other hand represents someone you pledged your entire life to, and then it didn't work out. While it's very easy for that flame to rekindle, it's much more likely that due to the long drawn out process that is divorce, your rational mind will overtake your impulsive thoughts, and nothing is likely to happen.
I can see how it would be intimidating though to know that there's someone else out there that your potential SO cared enough about to commit to marriage. That might mess with my head a little.
Ex-nothing can be so-o-o-ooo much worse than ex-something! And it's the worst that it gets sort of dismissed as a non-problem because two people never banged. It's probably the only thing I can really relate to Dora with. When people (at least, immature people) are crushing on someone their vision of the relationship is perfect. There are no fights, any differences in opinion are just the palatable ones, the potential SO is supportive about everything etc. But with relationships, reality comes in and ruins everything. I dated a guy who was still very close with an ex-nothing.
Steve sums up the problem in a way that sounds more sane than if Dora would've said it. It was like, every time I had a fight with that guy or I messed up, I would think,"Ugh, I bet this never happened in the pretend relationship he had in his head with X!" and that's what I felt I was competing with. With a real ex, you know they had their own problems and it ended because of a realistic reason. I either just made a lot of sense, or exposed myself as a total wacko.
I don't know, though, the way Dora's brain works. But hopefully Jim isn't living with his ex-wife.
Author
Topic: Should Dora go out with Jim? (Read 53474 times)