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Author Topic: Hail to the king? Anyone?  (Read 18682 times)

Tom

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #50 on: 16 Jun 2011, 01:31 »

that was the joke
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Johnny C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #51 on: 16 Jun 2011, 14:22 »

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Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #52 on: 16 Jun 2011, 15:00 »

jesus
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Quote from: KvP
Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

Ozymandias

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #53 on: 16 Jun 2011, 15:05 »

Alright, yeah, I got as far as wallboob slapping. This shouldn't have been made.  :psyduck:
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Johnny C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #54 on: 16 Jun 2011, 17:19 »

the long stretches of total silence are so telling
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Blue Kitty

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #55 on: 16 Jun 2011, 19:44 »

Quote
Why did I agree to be here for this?
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JD

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #56 on: 16 Jun 2011, 22:06 »

I am going to be playing this soon and it is gonna be terrible but I don't care.
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KvP

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #57 on: 16 Jun 2011, 22:08 »

Did you all not see the thing, the thing that I posted earlier
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KvP

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #58 on: 16 Jun 2011, 22:15 »

This is Daikatana bad

Which is apropos as DNF is a Daikatana contemporary.
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KvP

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #59 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:02 »

It's not even the "humor", it's everything else. Somebody designed this, intentionally.

These levels are so sparse, this is worse than Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines
« Last Edit: 16 Jun 2011, 23:08 by KvP »
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Alex C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #60 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:21 »

honestly i'd feel a li'l more comfortable if you just decided to wipe your ass with that money instead
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JD

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #61 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:22 »

I'm not actually paying for it.
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Alex C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #62 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:23 »

i kinda figured, but still
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KvP

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #63 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:25 »

I've been able to watch this, mostly just because I've got Deus Ex minimized and the Liberty Island theme is a soothing counterbalance
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Alex C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #64 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:33 »

I just don't understand why this couldn't have been essentially a big budget Serious Sam with strippers and pig cops. There's enough of us sick of chest high walls that it probably wouldn't have had to be a very complicated game map wise.
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the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

Alex C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #65 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:35 »

I'm not saying that it would be a good game, mind, just maybe better than the one they released.
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the ship has Dr. Pepper but not Mr. Pibb; it's an absolute goddamned travesty

KvP

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #66 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:39 »

No Serious Sam and Painkiller were good because they were giddy throwbacks to the kind of game Duke was. DNF is completely lacking in everything that made old-school (or new school or any school) FPSes fun
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JD

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #67 on: 16 Jun 2011, 23:42 »

i kinda figured, but still
I'll draw some money on my toilet paper next time I get the chance.
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Blyss

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #68 on: 17 Jun 2011, 06:46 »

It almost looks like they spent more time on Duke smoking in the menu, than they did on the rest of the game.
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Johnny C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #69 on: 17 Jun 2011, 22:03 »

oh my god this game is so bad
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JD

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #70 on: 17 Jun 2011, 23:16 »

Okay yeah this game was a waste of money I did not spend
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Josefbugman

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #71 on: 18 Jun 2011, 02:00 »

So, why the big fuss?

I mean, who is this chap in the sungoggles?
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Oddly enough the "oh no boobs!" box in the background of todays comic is my usual reaction.

TheEvilDog

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #72 on: 18 Jun 2011, 06:08 »

Worst piece of shit I've played in a long time.
Okay yeah this game was a waste of money I did not spend
oh my god this game is so bad

So I take it the game is great. [/sarcasm]
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pwhodges

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #73 on: 18 Jun 2011, 09:18 »

The school report phrase is: "could do better", I guess.
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Josefbugman

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #74 on: 18 Jun 2011, 12:07 »

From what I heard it was more "does not play well with others".
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Oddly enough the "oh no boobs!" box in the background of todays comic is my usual reaction.

Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #75 on: 18 Jun 2011, 12:32 »

"Dear Mr. or Mrs. Nukem,

We had to remove your child Duke from class  today because he punched susie in the face, peed in the fish tank, burned down the chalk board, and now we don't even know where his teacher is. She's just gone.

Please come pick him up and never come back. We won't press charges if you just leave forever."
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Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

Gemmwah

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #76 on: 19 Jun 2011, 16:39 »

fuck you guys i love this game
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Tiogyr

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #77 on: 19 Jun 2011, 17:40 »

It's not even the "humor", it's everything else. Somebody designed this, intentionally.

These levels are so sparse, this is worse than Vampire The Masquerade: Bloodlines

Hey now, that game was actually able to be salvaged after ten years of bug fixes by the fanbase (as in, that one guy that actually went around fixing the game crashing/breaking bugs and publishing patches for people that were still playing). Nowhere near as much fun a vampire game series as we got with the Legacy of Kain (which said "fuck Earth settings, let's just go balls out and create an entirely separate fictional world to do this in").

This game, though? I don't think anyone is going to bother.
« Last Edit: 19 Jun 2011, 17:42 by Tiogyr »
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ackblom12

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #78 on: 19 Jun 2011, 17:58 »

Legacy of Kain was good for exactly one game, Bloodlines was actually a fantastic game outside of the bugs and sparseness as Jon mentioned. Easily one of the best RPGs ever made I'd say even before the major fan patching. Some of the fan patching is kind of questionable just due to flavor and balance reasons, but overall it is pretty excellent.
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Josefbugman

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #79 on: 20 Jun 2011, 01:30 »

Agreed on that score, VTMB is one of the few RPG's that I've wanted to play more than once.
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Oddly enough the "oh no boobs!" box in the background of todays comic is my usual reaction.

look out! Ninjas!

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #80 on: 20 Jun 2011, 02:35 »

yeah, up until about halfway through chinatown it's a worthy successor to Deus Ex
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Tiogyr

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #81 on: 20 Jun 2011, 08:14 »

Legacy of Kain was good for exactly one game

I'd say the ones I actually got around to playing were all pretty damn good, actually (the first Blood Omen, the Soul Reaver games were all fun and then there was Defiance, which was still fun even if there wasn't any real risk of losing the game at any point).
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Josefbugman

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #82 on: 20 Jun 2011, 12:27 »

It is one of my greatest regrets that I am unlikely to see another game that I enjoyed as much as Vampire...

I mean it actually managed to explain things in such so that I became interested in White Wolf.
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Oddly enough the "oh no boobs!" box in the background of todays comic is my usual reaction.

Felrender

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #83 on: 20 Jun 2011, 12:40 »

fuck you guys i love this game

enjoy being a horrible broken person who like terrible things
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Johnny C

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Tom

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #85 on: 20 Jun 2011, 14:44 »

Well, it's certainly no: "Me so horny. That sounds racist, but it's true."
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KvP

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #86 on: 20 Jun 2011, 14:51 »

More like Fail to the King
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Johnny C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #87 on: 20 Jun 2011, 15:43 »

try "i've got balls of fail" which is actually a line in the game
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Johnny C

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Johnny C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #89 on: 20 Jun 2011, 15:44 »

the one feature this game is actually missing is the ability to, at will, bring your pistol to your temple and fire, which would then erase the disk and purge all evidence from your hard drive
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Tom

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #90 on: 20 Jun 2011, 16:09 »

I wish ff xiii had that too
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Josefbugman

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #91 on: 20 Jun 2011, 16:10 »

A great deal of games could be improved by having a "suicide" button.
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Oddly enough the "oh no boobs!" box in the background of todays comic is my usual reaction.

Scandanavian War Machine

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #92 on: 20 Jun 2011, 16:50 »

the late, great mitch hedberg, after a joke that didn't work:

"that joke's gonna be awesome because i'm gonna take all the words out and add new ones. that joke will be fixed."

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Also I would like to point out that the combination of Sailor Moon and faux-Kerouac / Sonic Youth spelling is perhaps the purest distillation of what this forum is that we have yet been presented with.

TheEvilDog

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #93 on: 20 Jun 2011, 18:31 »

So I'm guessing that on a scale of one to ten, most people would rate DNF as "Throw it into the fire and let it be Hell's problem now."









Or maybe it should have stayed in development hell
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Johnny C

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #94 on: 20 Jun 2011, 21:21 »

what i'm saying is that it's ironic that a game that turned out like duke nukem forever has the gall to use the word "abortion" anywhere in it
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Blue Kitty

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #96 on: 23 Jun 2011, 14:04 »

Is Duke Nukem Forever more fun with another person?
i only got a minute and 14 seconds into that video before I laughed myself to death.  I feel like getting the game, get drunk and invite my friend over to play.
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Damnable Fiend

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Re: Hail to the king? Anyone?
« Reply #97 on: 23 Jun 2011, 17:48 »

Shadows of the Damned seems like what this game should have been, humour-wise.
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