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Author Topic: Moving on up - Moving advice thread  (Read 8874 times)

Welu

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Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« on: 18 Dec 2011, 17:22 »

I was thinking of putting this in the relationship advice thread but then wondered if this could become a general renters/buyers residential advice and story thread.

Backstory:
My boyfriend and I are hoping to move in together next summer (to avoid clashing with college but we might move sooner or later if we have to). We know we're expecting to pay £400 to £500 (US$620 to 775) pretty much wherever and whatever we move into. We're staying in our town which is biggish by Northern Ireland standards but tiny every where else, population: Less than 14,000.

We were looking at places and he doesn't really care where we go as long as it's walking distance, which in a town this small is pretty hard to not get. I want to be away from my parents as much as I can. I love them and will still see them, I just always thought the first time I moved would be farther than a half an hour walk away. I have reached the point of needing out in my own place though.

Right now, he is earning enough to pay rent and bills just about comfortably. He has a part-time job where he's being treated like it's a full-time job so stressful but a lot of hours. Also he does sort of own a house which he's currently renting out. His parents bought it for him and all the money he's getting from the renters is going right back to his parents to pay them back. Although they're not rushing him for it.
We've discussed moving into that house but then even though technically there's no rent, it mean he's not getting the rent money so he won't be able to pay his parents each month and pay bills.
I am not earning much. Part-time work and full-time student, I get £200/$310 on an average month. I can manage £400 if I take every cover asked but as everyone who's done part-time knows, that's not an easy way to live. However as long as I'm in education and not under my parents roof, I should be able to get student grants (loans I don't have to pay back) of up to a couple thousand. I also have a certificate in Level 2 accounting which even in this crappy job situation, does make it a lot easier to get a full-time job. A lot of small business around here means someone always needs a bookkeeper. Even my own dad was trying to get me to apply for his company and seeing if there was a way I could work it around college. Right now it's not possible but being a Daddy's Girl has it's advantages.  :laugh: So money is the big issue but it's not nearly as bad as it could be.

Actual questions:

Since this will be the first time I'm not at home, tell me everything. What type of contract should I be looking for? What kind of insurance do I need? How, if I can, get the best deals on rates? What kind of fights should I watch out for with my new living-buddy? What skills should I make sure I know before I move out? Is living above a Chinese take-out really that bad?  :psyduck: Whatever bit of knowledge I should know, enlighten me to it, please.

Maybe even just tell me the stories of the first time you lived away from home, whether they're good or horror stories. I want to know as much as I can.  :-D

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #1 on: 18 Dec 2011, 18:23 »

here are some of the things I learned the first time I moved into my own (w/ 3 roommates) place (in a US college town, so many situations may not apply):

When you first move in, document everything in the house, take pictures of dents, etc.. bring any and all problems or damage to the landlords attention, otherwise you will not get your deposit back.

get money for bills together at least three days ahead of time.

make a fair yardwork/housework schedule.

never leave food out, don't let your housemates leave cooked food sitting on the stove for days on end.

clean out the refrigerator every 4 months.

frozen food can help you eat fairly healthy on a food budget of $35/week. cooking and freezing food also does this.

to save money on heat, hang blankets over doors and windows.
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Lines

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #2 on: 18 Dec 2011, 19:57 »

Document ALL damage and pay very close attention to the contract. Some renters do their best to fuck you over, others are awesome. Just be careful! Look up reviews of rental agencies.

Planning meals for the entire week helps you save money, because then you know exactly what you need.

Make a budget and stick to it. If that means buying generics, cutting luxuries, etc. - do it.

Turn things off when you're not home - this helps a lot on your electric bill. Also unplug things you don't use all the time, because many electronics still use electricity even though they're not turned on.

If you live in an apartment building, don't be loud.

If you're looking at an apartment building, try to visit it when people are usually home, like in the evening. (If possible.) Then you'll get a sense of sound proofing in the building and also what your neighbors might be like. You might also have the opportunity to ask people what they think of the place.
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jwhouk

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #3 on: 18 Dec 2011, 21:29 »

When you put stuff in boxes, MARK WHAT'S INSIDE. And if you have to store something in an outdoors facility (garage, shed, barn, whatever), make sure it is on a pallet or something that is off the ground and not susceptible to getting wet.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #4 on: 19 Dec 2011, 03:31 »

This might be the right thread to ask a small question, then:

I moved in with some new housemates in September, and they're all really nice. The two guys I live with are tidy and clean up regularly. The girl who lives with us is SUPER nice, really friendly kind, compassionate...but she does leave a mess wherever she goes. I feel like a dick saying things to her about it and when I have done, she takes it very personally. She never means to leave a mess - I'm sure its all just a lapse of memory - but she does tend to stay with her boyfriend for a few days and we're then left with the mess in the kitchen/living room (she has a house rabbit too, and it does make a mess when she lets it run around in the living room)

I was just wondering if people have had experience with being extremely diplomatic to people about communal areas in the house. It would be so much easier to snap if she were a total bitch, but she isn't, she's fast becoming a really good friend of mine. I don't want her to think I prefer cleanliness over friendships, but there are lines to be drawn.
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Lines

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #5 on: 19 Dec 2011, 07:12 »

Tell her to clean up after she lets her rabbit out. Really, that should be common sense seeing as how they poo any- and everywhere. Just be nice about it, but the next time she lets the rabbit out go, "Hey, could you possibly clean up when *rabbit's name* goes back in his/her cage? I've noticed there's been rabbit poop around the apt after he/she runs around and it'd be really nice if you could clean it up."

Pets are the owner's responsibility. I made it clear to my roommates that if I brought my cat, I'd do all the feeding and cleaning (but he ended up staying with my mom), so when they got their kitten, I told them they had to take care of her. They'd asked if I wanted to split the costs with them for vet bills and whatnot, but since they were going to be keeping her, I wasn't about to pay for anything. I'd just feed her or cat-sit her if they were out late or out of town, which was fine because I like kitties. I think the only time I cleaned up after the cat was if I was home by myself and she threw up somewhere in the apartment. (She had a tendency to eat too much too fast and would hork it up at some point during the day.)
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Carl-E

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #6 on: 19 Dec 2011, 08:12 »

Re:  living above the Chinese restaurant.

It depends on how they handle the trash.  Even in sealed bins, the aroma will make its way up in your apartment somehow... if it's removed daily, it shouldn't be a problem.

But the smells of frying cabbage or kimchi first thing in the morning may not be as appetizing as they are later in the day.
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Welu

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #7 on: 19 Dec 2011, 15:24 »

Thanks for all the awesome advice, people. Documenting is a great tip I wouldn't have thought about.

TRVA123, I really like your list. I may write that out and stick it on the wall for safe sake.

Carl-E, cheers for saying. Part of the reason I ask is most of the flats in my town are above businesses and most of them are cafes or take-outs.

My main worry about potential arguments is food. My Mammy has made a big deal about teaching my brothers and I some yummy and cheap meals, a lot of which feature fish which my boyfriend hates. I do have a bunch of other non-fish meals, which can be frozen too though. Although I saw in the vegetarian thread some people talking about being a non-meat/meat eater living with a meat/non-meat eater and they can make it work.

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #8 on: 19 Dec 2011, 17:31 »

If it really gets down to it, you can cook separate meals. My roommates and I usually agreed on food, but there were times they wanted things that I straight up don't like, so I would just cook a small meal for myself. It's really not as big of a deal as you think it would be.
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Carl-E

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #9 on: 19 Dec 2011, 19:54 »

I worked away from home for a couple of years, had a small (1.5 room) apartment that I used 5 days/4 nights a week.  I got pretty good at cooking for one, it's not hard to scale it down. 

I also ate healthier and lost about 20 lbs. 


I gained it all back when I moved back home full time.  damn home cookin', why'd I have to marry a good cook? 
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ackblom12

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #10 on: 19 Dec 2011, 19:58 »

Kat helped add close to 100 lbs to my weight because she cooked. Of course this merely meant I got up to 250 lbs at my peak, buuuut ya know.
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Welu

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #11 on: 20 Dec 2011, 03:43 »

Scaling the meals down will definitely be the challenge. Five years since my brothers moved out and Da's usually away for work and my Mammy still cooks for five. :laugh:

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #12 on: 20 Dec 2011, 08:23 »

Leftovers!  I live off them...

Unfortunately, you won't be close enough to Mom to "borrow a meal" anymore. 



Oh, wait, that's the point...

:angel:
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Lupercal

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #13 on: 21 Dec 2011, 04:01 »

Yeah, its not so much that I cook for one, but cook for four and then have the next 3 days worth of meals sorted out.

As to fights happening Welu, well, just remember to let the little things slide. My girlfriend often stays with me for longish periods of time at Uni, and sometimes we end up having arguments over stupid things - she was too lax about certain things and I was pretty anal about where things were being left (GLASSES EVERYWHERE) etc, and its just best to discuss these things immediately so that you both understand.

So ridiculous that I can talk to my girlfriend about these things but not the housemate! Thanks for the advice on that. Its not just the rabbit, it is dishes and stuff too...and its all in the communal areas. I spoke to the other guys in the house and we're going to have a nice "house discussion" when we move back in around January.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #14 on: 21 Dec 2011, 07:29 »

Have guests over. It's the only way I ever get motivated enough to get everything done. Social pressure + deadline = results!
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #15 on: 21 Dec 2011, 07:58 »

And what usually follows after having guests over is that there's a pile of washing up to do that's n+1 times bigger than usual, n being the number of guests. So they'd best lend you a hand with that!

I don't have a whole lot of plates and glasses myself, so after a day or two of not washing up I simply run out of things to eat from. But if I do leave dirty dishes out, I always wash them before making dinner, and then leave what I used for cooking to be washed the following day.

People always tell me that you should never leave your dirty dishes out in the open because they'll attract fruit flies, but I haven't had that problem at all. The communal kitchen in my apartment has so many greasy surfaces that any fly coming in is inevitably going to die being stuck to something. It's become so much of an insect graveyard that I think the living insects are staying away out of sheer terror. That's not a pest control strategy I'd recommend, though.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #16 on: 21 Dec 2011, 15:16 »

We did have a little hive of those flies where a housemate had left a bag of onions on a high shelf out of sight and reach....yay, a bag of black sludge!

as for dish laziness - surely you run out of things to eat from? I mean, I've done the eat-from-the-saucepan before but its not that great. I also have stuff like mugs that I prefer to drink out of above the others (pretty lame, eh?) and so they are always ready to be used. But sometimes I just wash it out and re-use it, because I hate drying up with a passion.

Month's worth? How many of each thing do you have? I suggest donating some crockery to anyone you know who needs a new this or that.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #17 on: 21 Dec 2011, 16:17 »

I miss Suzie, my wife's brother's wife (so she's a sister-in-law, but it's pretty far off).  When they used to live a couple of hours away, they'd come over for holidays.  After the dinner, Suzie would start washing up... she was amazing.  She'd rope others into drying, we'd take shifts to keep up.  All the china, silver, crystal, would be all lined up and ready to be put away, the pans and serving dishes all done.  We'd have to make her come and have dessert.  She'd get everything cleaned, then she'd just stand there at the sink, wondering what to do next. 

Girl had problems, but damn, now that they live accross the country, I have to wash up... :-(
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Welu

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #18 on: 22 Dec 2011, 04:27 »

Leftovers!  I live off them...

Unfortunately, you won't be close enough to Mom to "borrow a meal" anymore. 



Oh, wait, that's the point...

:angel:

Well, sadly then entire town is in walking distance of itself but we have talked and she knows not to turn life into Everybody Loves Raymond. :laugh:

Whenever my brother's come home, Mammy always has several frozen meals ready for them to take back with them. They won't need to buy food for themselves for two weeks each usually after they visit. Our freezers are always full.

tuathal, my Mammy worked in a few hotels and loves her stall markets so we're the same for way more dishes and glasses than we need.

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #19 on: 22 Dec 2011, 08:25 »

I got it bulk at a second hand shop for five euros, they had old stock from a hotel.

Sell them with profit!
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I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #20 on: 23 Dec 2011, 09:16 »

Send them to me! In my room at home I have one bowl, one large spoon and one small, two forks, two knives and then four each of large and small plates and glasses. One thing I have to do while I'm here at my mum's is look for the rest of my goddamn crockery. Washing up every single time I want to eat drives me crazy.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #21 on: 23 Dec 2011, 15:15 »

Is living above a Chinese take-out really that bad?  :psyduck:
Why would it be? :angel:  Seriously, living over any take-away food joint, or even restaurant, greengrocer etc. depends very much on the management and staff. If they're good, there is no problem, otherwise the area round the back will be alive with cockroaches (or whatever your local pests may be) and some of them will find their way into your flat. Take a good sniff round the service area behind the place. Does it look clean and tidy or gungy? Kick a few boxes; what scuttles out from underneath? On the other hand, living in a seedy, roach-infested block of units is part of the student experience, and does wonders for your punk-rock cred...

Washing up every single time I want to eat drives me crazy.
I never understand this. After a meal, I always have to wash up the pans, chopper, cook's knives, and other tools I used to prepare the meal, and the crockery, chopsticks, cutlery etc. used to eat the food are only a small part of the total washup I would be doing anyway, so why leave them? Obviously the equation changes if you're cooking for a number of people, but then you recruit then to help with the washing up...
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #22 on: 23 Dec 2011, 15:57 »

Washing up every single time I want to eat drives me crazy.
I never understand this. After a meal, I always have to wash up the pans, chopper, cook's knives, and other tools I used to prepare the meal, and the crockery, chopsticks, cutlery etc. used to eat the food are only a small part of the total washup I would be doing anyway, so why leave them? Obviously the equation changes if you're cooking for a number of people, but then you recruit then to help with the washing up...
Yeah, same here. I've found that having to do the washing up on my own is far less of a bother than having to do it when you haven't cooked yourself. Maybe it's because it feels unfinished or lazy otherwise, or maybe it's just that when you live alone, leaving it out isn't going to cause someone else to eventually do it.  :laugh:
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I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #23 on: 24 Dec 2011, 08:05 »

But when I have breakfast, all I use is a bowl and a spoon. I pour the cereal from an airtight jar that only gets washed every few packets (it's always the same cereal) and I spoon the yoghurt out with the spoon I use to eat. If I then want to have soup for lunch, I have to wash the bowl and spoon before I eat as well as after, and if I have a dessert after my evening meal I have to wash the bowl and spoon AGAIN to use it. If I had more crockery, I would wash once a day - after the main meal when I'd actually used pans etc. Much more efficient.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #24 on: 24 Dec 2011, 13:28 »

On the bright side, you will never have dishes piling up.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #25 on: 24 Dec 2011, 21:52 »

The first place I ever lived was pretty crummy, I had a room that was about 6'x10' with paper thin walls and my roommate called her boyfriend in africa every night from about 9 pm to 4pm every night, loudly and in Swahili. She piled all the dishes in the sink and just washed one if she needed to cook something, but she would steal my dishes if they were available. I had to keep them in my room or in the freezer. We had a terrible ant problem, there was a writhing mass of a nest in the light socket above the door, which didn't work. The door didn't lock. (not that it would keep out the ants. If you were eating dinner and you set your cup down for ten minutes, it was covered in ants.) The apartment manager died of a heart attack. The owner who lived downstairs was really grumpy and moved to another island, which was bad because the drain clogged with all my roommate's weird hair products and we couldn't get to the pipes. The guy who lived there before me died of aids, I'm pretty sure the place was haunted. There was this weird toilet in a closet that was supposed to be a second bathroom, and my landlord kept calling and reminding us not to store anything in there because it's a bathroom. It wasn't. A mouse kept chewing a hole in my wall while I was trying to sleep. It was really loud. It ate my tupperware.

Anyways, I was complaining loudly to my boyfriend on the phone about how terrible my roommate is at washing dishes, and I didn't know she was home, but she really was and then I felt very bad but all the dishes got washed.

The moral of the story is you might be happier if you don't get the cheapest place you can find, and work something out with your roommate where you establish standards of everything being clean in a nice non-awkward and passive-aggressive way. I think it's easier if you're living with someone you're dating, because you can talk to them easier, but I lived with my boyfriend and I ended up doing almost all the washing up and cleaning and chores unless I specifically asked him to help, and now we're not seeing each other and I have my very own house with no ants at all.
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Welu

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #26 on: 25 Dec 2011, 17:03 »

Got a delightful Christmas present today that will help muchly with moving out. Very excited now even though I can't do anything for six months at least.


Duchess, that's some story. Not sure how I'd handle it but I guess when you're living there, you have to, to an extent. Did you live in that place or with that person long?

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #27 on: 25 Dec 2011, 18:15 »

For a year, and then I moved in with a Chinese family for six months and then to a dorm room with three other people that was supposed to be for two people and had two twin beds. One of them played warcraft all night and was really in to the gym and the roids and the protein powder so he was pretty testy and another talked about the show "Friends" most of the day and got really pissed if anyone said anything bad about Jennifer Aniston ever. Also someone kept putting a bag of tropical fish in the shared freezer. It was quite disturbing.  Before that I lived with lots of gay men and some drunk chicks. They had sex in showers a lot and liked to use the microwave to heat up hair wax. It was a thing. Fires occurred. I had forgotten why I was so picky about roommates until just now.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #28 on: 05 Jan 2012, 03:13 »

Dude that does not sound like picky! Or did the pickiness come afterwards?

One of my biggest ambitions is to never have to live with strangers again. I spent five weeks lodging in a room in a house with a teenage son and another student lodger, and although it was actually pretty nice, it just showed me that even in good circumstances I don't like not having my own place. I'd be prepared to live in a tiny tiny studio flat and never have any heating and have to scrub the place from top to bottom with bleach before moving in, to avoid having to pay a bit less to share a nicer place. I guess I'm not a people person.

I've been looking into my options when I graduate from here and go on to my next uni. It seems like if I'm careful with money, and I get the funding I am expecting to get, I will be able to rent a studio flat. Cannot wait.
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Zingoleb

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #29 on: 05 Jan 2012, 03:34 »

I wanna live alone, too. I get anxious around people if I have to be around them a lot, even if I like them, to the point where I end up avoiding eating or showering because I don't want to end up running into someone else on the way. Yes, that is very problematic.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #30 on: 05 Jan 2012, 04:13 »

I used to think I was weird for doing that in my first flat. I wouldn't really do that much outside of my room, whereas the other guys would all congregate in the kitchen, I'd do all that I could to avoid them - eat in my room, get up early, etc. I hated doing that...
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Zingoleb

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #31 on: 05 Jan 2012, 04:31 »

I just feel far more comfortable. I really need to get back into therapy, because my social anxieties are starting to creep up on me in a big way since I haven't had a regular therapist in 6+ months. I'm not a very good person about making or keeping appointments.  :| But it's actually starting to cripple me, because I'm finding it hard to talk to my roommates, especially when they openly judge me for what I eat/when I shower/how long I shower/how I react to people. I had a bit of a meltdown in the mall the other day because my landlady kept asking me to go with her, and I kept telling her no but finally told her alright just to shut her up and ending up having an anxiety attack about ten minutes in - had to ask her to leave because I couldn't stop crying. Logically I knew I was safe and no one cared, but I just felt like everyone was staring at me, and it was too uncomfortable for me to handle*.

The whole ride home, the only thing she said was, "I don't know how you're going to get a job if that's how you are around people." Oh, yes, thank you for rubbing my insecurities in my face. That makes me feel awesome. (If you can't tell, I'm a little bitter about this all; tl;dr is that I just wanna live aloen)

*The exception to this rule is when I'm performing. I enjoy being in front of people playing music, and I've gone up in front of thousands and done and I'll do it again. Not sure where the difference lies.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #32 on: 05 Jan 2012, 07:12 »

Ok, I'm going to start by saying I AM SO SORRY that this post is a thousand miles long. I just couldn't stop myself. Please forgive me!


The girl who lives with us is SUPER nice, really friendly kind, compassionate...but she does leave a mess wherever she goes. I feel like a dick saying things to her about it and when I have done, she takes it very personally.

You might want to start a system in your apartment with small baskets in the common area- one for each roommate. If someone leaves something lying around, another roommate can put it in that person's basket. Then, the baskets eventually make their way to that person's room. Plus, it's less annoying to you because it's confined to a small-ish space instead of strewn about everywhere. It's a gentler way of dealing with her crap since you're not just pointing the finger at her, you're saying "anyone can forget to put something away every once in a while". Though...that will only work for her possessions. If you put rabbit poo in there, you're sure to piss her off.  :-P

The whole ride home, the only thing she said was, "I don't know how you're going to get a job if that's how you are around people." Oh, yes, thank you for rubbing my insecurities in my face. That makes me feel awesome. (If you can't tell, I'm a little bitter about this all; tl;dr is that I just wanna live aloen)

This makes me so mad. She has no right to judge you based on an obvious mental health issue. She has no clue what you're dealing with and it is ridiculously insensitive for her to assume you can just magically fix yourself. Panic attacks are serious things that are incredibly difficult to deal with. The hardest part for me is always "Why are you crying??" because I don't always know why it's happening, it just is! You have every right to be bitter towards someone as disrespectful as that. Mental illness still has such a stigma attached to it and I hate it so much. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. If I knew her, I'd tell her off for you. Don't mess with someone who has wonky brain chemistry!! It's not nice!! (Oh, and you can always work in an office....I interact with an average of 2-3 people a day)

Document ALL damage and pay very close attention to the contract. Some renters do their best to fuck you over, others are awesome. Just be careful! Look up reviews of rental agencies.

This, a thousand times...

When I was moving out of my last apartment (which was a run-down, ancient building and had mice chewing through the ceiling tiles from the attic to eat everything in sight), the landlord tried to tell my fiancee and I that we were the ones who caused all the damage, even though the previous landlord (who owned the building for 2 out of the 3 years we lived there) was working on renovating the building and had gotten to every apartment but ours. Everything was in dire need of repair: the shower caulk was peeling off, one of the stove burners was not functioning (and the stove was horrifying. i never made anything inside of it....just on top), a few of the windows didn't open, the radiator covers were rusting and bent, the paint was cracking on a few of the walls. I moved in with my then-boyfriend because i was desperately trying to leave my parent's house and didn't care where i ended up (i had moved out at 17 to live in nyc and things just didn't pan out. i moved back in when i was 21, but just couldn't do it any longer. i think i stayed with them for 6 months). We talked about moving out of the run-down place, but stayed because the original landlord kept saying he was going to move us into one of the newly renovated spaces for the same amount of rent, but he never did. Then he gave us a week's notice that he sold the building, after we had already renewed our lease. Long story short, we were blamed for everything that was wrong because our first landlord never documented a proper inspection. The new guy docked $500 of our $950 security deposit (including $50 for a missing refrigerator drawer that never existed in the first place). So, we sued him for it because none of it was our fault. We documented all the times we had to call him to fix stuff and he never came, the rodent infestation, etc. We contacted the previous landlord to see if they would come to court with us. They agreed to do so, we told them the court date and they told us to call them back in a few days to iron out any paperwork we needed and tie up any loose ends. Then they started avoiding us. We called every few days to see what was up before they called my fiancee and told him that they couldn't come, 3 days before the court date. The new landlord then decided that he was pursuing a counter-suit because he "should have taken all of our deposit but was just being nice". We never made it in front of the judge because we were called back to talk with a "mediator". After 3 hours of arguing til we were all blue in the face, he agreed to drop his suit if we dropped ours. Neither of us had much proof of the initial condition of the place, so it ended up being a "he said/she said" thing.

Moral of the story: document EVERYTHING. Take an inventory of all the "removable" items in the apartment when you get there and photograph them. Photograph all damage, even if it's just scratches on the floor. Some properties are rented by nice, decent people. Some are not. It is impossible to tell initially because they will be as nice to you as humanly possible because they want your money. Be nice to them back, don't let them know that you know that they might be a jerk. Just cover your ass.

Also- if something breaks, call them right away. The longer you wait, the worse it will get. Stay on them if it takes them a while to fix it- if they never do, and it's still broken when you move out, you are responsible for paying for it.


I've been living on my own for a little under 10 years now and it blows my mind how much i've learned. A few other things to remember:

-Always talk about anything that bothers you with your significant other as soon as you can. Don't harp on every small issue, but if something really bothers you, don't let it fester. You will end up resenting them because all you can think about are the little things that annoy you that you "graciously overlook" for the sake of your relationship. Don't do that. You're not helping your relationship by letting problems slide, you are hurting it. Some things are worth talking over, some things are not. The only way to find out what those things are is to live with your boyfriend for a while. If something is merely a tad bit annoying, try and let it go initially. If it is truly one of your pet peeves, speak up.

-Make a list of responsibilities that each of you has to live up to. My fiancee and I have a chore schedule, we each do specific things and we each pay specific bills. We try to make things as even as possible, but we're realistic in the sense that if one person is overwhelmed, they know they can ask for help. We also "traded" chores that we hate doing. I have guinea pigs, whom I adore....but I HATE cleaning their cage. He has to iron his shirts for work and the last time he used the iron he almost threw it out the window. Now he cleans the cage and I iron shirts.

-Never let leftovers sit in your fridge for more than a week. No one should have to witness the horrors that can come from neglected edibles.

-Monitor your bank account online if your financial institution gives you the option. I started out doing it sporadically a few years ago and now I check it once a day. Really helps cut down on overdraft fees because you don't think you have more than you really do.

-Avoid credit cards like the plague. I took out 3 of them when I was 17, maxed them out, missed a huge number of payments and flushed my credit score down the toilet. I've spent the last 4 years trying to plunge it out.

-If you have to pay for laundry, do it once a week. It's a lot easier to deal with $10 weekly than it is to wait until you have no clothing left and have to shell out $50 to wash a giant clothing mountain.

-Use coupons when you grocery shop. Last year alone, I saved over $5,000 in groceries just by using coupons. If something you use is super cheap, stock up on it if it's a nonperishable. If you can buy 1 bottle of shampoo for $5, or 10 bottles of shampoo for $5....what would you rather do? Of course, don't buy more than you can store. You don't want your belongings to take over your entire living space and start suffocating you.

-Before you move, go through your stuff and throw out anything that you know you don't need/don't want/are keeping just because your Great Aunt Mildred bought it for you when you were 12 and you feel bad throwing it away. She won't mind. The less you have to move with, the happier you'll be.

-Invest in some under-the-bed storage boxes. Most affordable apartments aren't necessarily the biggest ones out there. You will learn to cherish every square inch (centimeter?).

-Keep all of your bills in a central location and pay them as soon as you can. I get paid biweekly and the first paycheck of the month goes to student loans, credit card payments, any other big expenses. The second paycheck pays the rent. It goes this way every month so I know I will never miss anything or end up short. (I have another horrifying roommate story that taught me this lesson, but I think I'll save it for another post. It makes the crazy landlord story sound like a day at the beach and this post is already way too long).

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #33 on: 05 Jan 2012, 07:34 »

Oh man you guys I am avoiding revision by looking at houses that won't even be on the market in five years but anyway I'm still looking and if I was already employed as a newly-qualified midwife I'd be able to get a mortgage and I'd be able to buy a two or three bedroom house all on my ownsome! I mean, the housing market crash was bad and all but WHY DID IT HAPPEN JUST A FEW YEARS TOO EARLY TO BE USEFUL TO ME?
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #34 on: 05 Jan 2012, 09:24 »

Moral of the story: document EVERYTHING. Take an inventory of all the "removable" items in the apartment when you get there and photograph them. Photograph all damage, even if it's just scratches on the floor. Some properties are rented by nice, decent people. Some are not. It is impossible to tell initially because they will be as nice to you as humanly possible because they want your money. Be nice to them back, don't let them know that you know that they might be a jerk. Just cover your ass.

The same advice applies for landlords, of course; and I do indeed photograph the whole property before a let.

Quote
Also- if something breaks, call them right away. The longer you wait, the worse it will get.

This.  Please.  A delay can turn something that can be fixed in five minutes with a screwdriver into something that needs repair or replacement for a couple of hundred <currency unit of your choice>.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #35 on: 05 Jan 2012, 10:19 »

Update: We've inquired to look at two places. One is a house quite close to where he already lives and the other is a block of flats near my college. Excited but nervous.

You guys have given a lot of great advice and the stories are helpful and entertaining, even if they weren't for you at the time.

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #36 on: 05 Jan 2012, 10:49 »

Yay! Good for you  :-)

Learning experiences inevitably lead to the most entertaining stories, which is really lucky for me because my life is full of said "learning experiences" haha
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #37 on: 05 Jan 2012, 13:20 »


-Avoid credit cards like the plague. I took out 3 of them when I was 17, maxed them out, missed a huge number of payments and flushed my credit score down the toilet. I've spent the last 4 years trying to plunge it out.


Nah. Just pay off your credit card every month. I get a certain % back for all my credit purchases. At the end of every year I have a few hundred dollars to treat myself for doing absolutely nothing except using my credit card instead of my debit card to make purchases.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #38 on: 05 Jan 2012, 13:28 »

lucky you!

It definitely varies by person...in my experience, I think that because I just moved out for the first time, credit cards were new and exciting. Until I realized how scary it was to get your bill in the mail and see that you can't afford to make the minimum payment.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #39 on: 05 Jan 2012, 13:31 »

I'm actually considering getting a credit card, partly for that reason and also partly so that I have a good credit rating when I apply for a mortgage. I have only ever had one unauthorised overdraft, of £1.35, and the fees were waived after I wrote to complain at how outrageous they were (£35 for being less than £2 overdrawn for two days!), but equally I've never successfully paid off credit on time because I've never had it.

I can't believe you even got given three credit cards when you were 17! Is that legal? I don't think it is here. Because seventeen year olds are liable to spend more than they can afford and then not be able to pay back the minimum payment! I'm so glad I didn't have a credit card when I was 17. I went mad with my debit card when I got that, but thankfully I couldn't spend any money I didn't have on it.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #40 on: 05 Jan 2012, 19:01 »

That is shockingly generous to me. My husband's bank (BoA :() recently settled a lawsuit that they were pick & choosing the order to apply charges to your account, in order to send you into overdraft sooner and collect more fees. So if you had $300 and make charges of $5, $10, $8, and $320, they would apply the $320 charge first and then you'd be in overdraft for the other three, even though you weren't at the time. And the overdraft charges are $35 each.
Plus if you make more than 6 withdrawals from a savings account in a month, more than three times in 12 months, the bank has to turn your savings account into a checking account. We were Not Amused when that happened, especially because the warning notices apparently come in the same postcard format that they use for the overdraft notices that arrive a week and a half later so I just throw them out.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #41 on: 05 Jan 2012, 20:46 »

That last bit is apparantly part of the patriot act.  I just reopened an old savings account and was told the same limits.  I don't know how that's supposed to protect us - probably by preventing people from setting up an account just to distribute funds or something. 

Weird. 
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #42 on: 06 Jan 2012, 03:20 »

I can't believe you even got given three credit cards when you were 17! Is that legal? I don't think it is here. Because seventeen year olds are liable to spend more than they can afford and then not be able to pay back the minimum payment! I'm so glad I didn't have a credit card when I was 17. I went mad with my debit card when I got that, but thankfully I couldn't spend any money I didn't have on it.

When I was 17 I went to my bank asking to get a debit card and they told me, "We don't usually give under 18 debit cards but you can apply for a credit card if you want."

I told them I wanted apply for a debit card and had to wait something like 5 weeks to be turned down.

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #43 on: 06 Jan 2012, 06:49 »

That's outrageous, so obviously just a ploy to make sure they get lots of money out of people. Why would they not give a debit card but would give a credit card other than to deliberately get people into debt?
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #44 on: 06 Jan 2012, 07:09 »

A good intermediate option is to get a secured credit card with YOUR bank (there are a lot of 3rd party banks that offer secured credit cards to "bad risk" customers, but they are designed to screw you over 5 ways from Sunday). You deposit an amount that acts as your limit on the card, and the deposit will even earn a little interest. This way you get the credit card security and regulations and can build a credit history, but you know you won't get into real debt using it. This assumes you have that much money to put into it in the first place, though. I did this years ago with a $1000 deposit, which eventually grew to $1400 with the interest, then eventually the bank just graduated that to a standard credit card and I was able to cash out the deposit behind it.

It's the only credit card I've ever had, and right now it has a $7000 limit. I had always paid it off monthly, but going back to school and only having a part-time job have combined forces to get me to actually use about half of it on a balance now, but I should be able to pay that off fairly quickly once I do get better employment here soonish.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #45 on: 06 Jan 2012, 08:22 »

A good intermediate option is to get a secured credit card with YOUR bank (there are a lot of 3rd party banks that offer secured credit cards to "bad risk" customers, but they are designed to screw you over 5 ways from Sunday). You deposit an amount that acts as your limit on the card, and the deposit will even earn a little interest. This way you get the credit card security and regulations and can build a credit history, but you know you won't get into real debt using it. This assumes you have that much money to put into it in the first place, though. I did this years ago with a $1000 deposit, which eventually grew to $1400 with the interest, then eventually the bank just graduated that to a standard credit card and I was able to cash out the deposit behind it.

It's the only credit card I've ever had, and right now it has a $7000 limit. I had always paid it off monthly, but going back to school and only having a part-time job have combined forces to get me to actually use about half of it on a balance now, but I should be able to pay that off fairly quickly once I do get better employment here soonish.

Coincidentally, a secured card is a good way to repair your credit too.


That is shockingly generous to me. My husband's bank (BoA :() recently settled a lawsuit that they were pick & choosing the order to apply charges to your account, in order to send you into overdraft sooner and collect more fees. So if you had $300 and make charges of $5, $10, $8, and $320, they would apply the $320 charge first and then you'd be in overdraft for the other three, even though you weren't at the time. And the overdraft charges are $35 each.
Plus if you make more than 6 withdrawals from a savings account in a month, more than three times in 12 months, the bank has to turn your savings account into a checking account. We were Not Amused when that happened, especially because the warning notices apparently come in the same postcard format that they use for the overdraft notices that arrive a week and a half later so I just throw them out.

OMG. I have Bank of America too and I've dealt with the EXACT same thing. I am so glad someone stepped up to them. Here's hoping we actually get some of our moolah back. I keep checking the website constantly for the elusive "Effective Date". We'll probably each get like, $10. haha
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #46 on: 06 Jan 2012, 08:45 »

I am working on moving all of my money (from B of A) to a credit union.  It is part of my solstice resolutions package.
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #47 on: 20 Jan 2012, 04:14 »

Talking to friends and family about moving out has got them telling me their stories about buying homes so general questions for people:

When did you first buy a house?
What age do you do think you personally would do it if you haven't?
Is renting a "big fat waste of time"? (Boyfriend's mother's opinion.)

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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #48 on: 20 Jan 2012, 05:25 »

I completely think that renting is a bad idea IF you are in a position to buy instead, but so few people are! You have to have a deposit, and a job that pays enough and is secure enough for you to get a mortgage, and you have to know that you'll be staying in the same town for at least a few years or it is not worth it.

I'm hoping to be in that situation in the next five years. I already have the deposit nestled away earning interest (I hope) and in five years I will (please please please) be a newly qualified midwife. That's the plan anyway...
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Re: Moving on up - Moving advice thread
« Reply #49 on: 20 Jan 2012, 05:54 »

Good luck to you! :)

... you have to know that you'll be staying in the same town for at least a few years or it is not worth it.

This is the bit that bugs me. I love my town and my friends are all in this area and as long as I live at home, I sort of feel like I could go anywhere. I'd feel very tied down which is what I'm trying to escape by moving out.
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