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Author Topic: English is weird  (Read 304170 times)

GarandMarine

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #350 on: 29 Dec 2013, 16:31 »

It's terrifying that that sentence does indeed make total sense.
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

snalin

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #352 on: 29 Dec 2013, 20:03 »

James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher

... is probably a funnier example, although it requires context. It's basically the same as the faith example above, but using the words "had" and "had had" as the subjects of the sentence.
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snalin

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #353 on: 29 Dec 2013, 20:04 »

Also, even if you don't know Chinese, this is pretty cool.
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Akima

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #355 on: 29 Dec 2013, 21:09 »

Also, even if you don't know Chinese, this is pretty cool.
The joys of tonal language. ;)
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #356 on: 30 Dec 2013, 06:26 »

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Even better, you can leave the city out and still make a grammatical sentence of any length >=2 using only the word "buffalo". The trick is that anywhere you have "buffalo" the noun you can substitute "buffalo buffalo buffalo", meaning "bison who are intimidated by other bison". I don't remember who discovered this.

EDIT: Announcement on a train at a stop: "All doors will not open".
« Last Edit: 01 Jan 2014, 20:43 by Is it cold in here? »
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #357 on: 02 Jan 2014, 09:46 »

Is that no doors will open or at least one door will not?
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #358 on: 02 Jan 2014, 11:37 »

The latter.

EDIT: I've been forgetting to mention this for months:
Quote from: snalin
Quote
Steel roasting hood, forged from the melted turret of the Soviet T-50 tank that took Berlin during the second World War.

Not a T-50 that took part in the capture of Berlin, the T-50. As in the single tank that overcame the entirety of nazi Germany's last stand on it's own. And the turret of that tank is in this grill!

How any ESL speaker works out the use of definite articles is beyond me. It's normal in English to use it in near-opposite ways:
"The T-50 tank was produced by the thousands from (date) to (date) at the arms factory in (place)"
"The T-50 tank that broke down on that corner had serial number (number)"
« Last Edit: 13 Feb 2014, 10:44 by Is it cold in here? »
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #359 on: 18 May 2014, 15:14 »

If a dog park is where dogs can run free and play with one another, what is a car park?

If a place that raises cats is a cattery, why isn't a place that raises bats called a battery?
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #360 on: 18 May 2014, 15:40 »

Drive in a parkway, park in a driveway, etc.
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Akima

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #361 on: 19 May 2014, 03:04 »

How any ESL speaker works out the use of definite articles is beyond me.
The same way as you get to Carnegie Hall...
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #362 on: 19 May 2014, 03:10 »

... casting couch?
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #363 on: 19 May 2014, 04:28 »

I like to think before Google Maps decided to stop being fun, typing in "Carnegie Hall" would've resulted in the first four steps being

1. Practice
2. Practice
3. Practice
4. Turn onto (road)
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Loki

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #364 on: 19 May 2014, 12:55 »

How any ESL speaker works out the use of definite articles is beyond me.
The same way as you get to Carnegie Hall...
Okay, it seems I'm missing at least two cultural references here? :?
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #365 on: 19 May 2014, 12:56 »

I had no idea what the reference was but assumed the answer to both is "you ask someone".
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #366 on: 19 May 2014, 13:05 »

I like to think before Google Maps decided to stop being fun, typing in "Carnegie Hall" would've resulted in the first four steps being

1. Practice
2. Practice
3. Practice
4. Turn onto (road)
Had to check. It does not.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #367 on: 19 May 2014, 15:09 »

An old Henny Youngman joke.

"A guy came up to me and asked me how to get to Carnegie Hall. I told him, 'Practice, practice, practice.'"

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #368 on: 19 May 2014, 20:10 »

I like to think before Google Maps decided to stop being fun, typing in "Carnegie Hall" would've resulted in the first four steps being

1. Practice
2. Practice
3. Practice
4. Turn onto (road)
Had to check. It does not.
Like I said, before they decided to stop being fun. Back in the days where getting directions from New York to London would include "swim across the Atlantic Ocean".
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #369 on: 23 May 2014, 23:19 »

From the pointless thread, a paean to the pain of English pronunciation:
http://www.tickld.com/x/90-of-people-cant-pronounce-this-whole-poem
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Thrillho

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #371 on: 27 May 2014, 04:10 »

I honestly don't feel like we are under any obligation to use proper grammar on social media or everyday communication, but some of those are hilarious largely because of the shitty attitude of the people involved.

Pretty sure Arron's was meant to be satirical, though...
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Method of Madness

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #372 on: 27 May 2014, 04:43 »

Obligation? Maybe not, but is there any reason not to?
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Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Thrillho

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #373 on: 27 May 2014, 04:59 »

Some people can't spell. Expecting people who don't spell well, and have no need to in their day to day lives, to use flawless grammar and spelling on a network that is for socialising, not spellchecking, is just prickish and pedantic.

I don't do maths in my head particularly well, and every time people act like everyone should have perfect grammar all the time and victimise people for it, I hear my family's voices when I don't add things up immediately in my head or don't know my times tables off by heart (I have to work them out, I never memorised them).

Different people have different skills.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #374 on: 27 May 2014, 05:20 »

I do wonder how much of that is autocomplete fail, though.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #375 on: 27 May 2014, 05:24 »

I suppose, but surely some effort to be understood is expected? And a misspelling is different than using the wrong word entirely.

My problem with people who constantly complain about autocorrect is that they're fully admitting to never giving their message even a cursory glance before hitting send. Autocorrect doesn't mean not having to proofread.
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They call me Mr. Madness.

Quote from: Polonius
Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.
MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
Does anybody really know what time it is?
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻

Thrillho

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #376 on: 27 May 2014, 06:03 »

I suppose, but surely some effort to be understood is expected?

Who says other people can't understand them? Teenagers use slang relentlessly. I doubt most of our grandparents can understand half of what is said even on this forum. I didn't even know the significance of the words 'fedora' or 'problematic' until the last year.

Quote
And a misspelling is different than using the wrong word entirely.

Except to those with a smaller vocabulary, which could be due to ignorance, lack of education, or just lower intelligence, none of which are a sin.

Quote
My problem with people who constantly complain about autocorrect is that they're fully admitting to never giving their message even a cursory glance before hitting send. Autocorrect doesn't mean not having to proofread.

*shrug* sometimes you're in a hurry.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #377 on: 27 May 2014, 06:19 »

I had run out of steam for my tutoring topic (we're doing a virtual tour of the UK, town by town, and have been doing so for the last six months - I guess I got bored!) so today I got my student to read through that poem that 90% of English speakers apparently can't read. He did incredibly well; he only got 32 words wrong, and his attempts were completely logical. Bear in mind that this kid only started learning English at all four years ago!
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #378 on: 27 May 2014, 21:56 »

Shouldn't "declaim" and "reclaim" be opposites?
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #379 on: 28 May 2014, 02:38 »

We just had this conversation six months ago.

Shouldn't "denoting" be the opposite of "noting"?
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Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #380 on: 28 May 2014, 02:48 »

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #381 on: 28 May 2014, 09:20 »

What poem is that, May?
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #382 on: 28 May 2014, 09:26 »

This one, it was linked in the pointless thread and then here.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #383 on: 28 May 2014, 09:31 »

Oh, interesting. I consider myself pretty good with things and would probably mispronounce many of those words. I just don't hear them pronounced out loud so I'm not entirely sure how to pronounce them.

But I saw that link and thought of my ex (and friend) Chris, who pronounces pseudo as "suede-o" and says "for all intensive purposes".
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #384 on: 31 May 2014, 03:07 »

I do quite a lot if work with people who don't speak English as a first language, and the most common problem by far is that English spellings can vary randomly. "Guarantee" and "warranty" both essentially mean the same thing, come from the same root but look completely different in print. The "-ough" phoneme has multiple pronunciations, with no indicator of which applies in any given situation.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #386 on: 06 Jul 2014, 14:40 »

A dog who is "paper trained" is one which reliably eliminates on newspapers.

People brag about their dogs being "well trained".
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #387 on: 06 Jul 2014, 19:17 »

A person who is heartbroken has a broken heart. A dog that is housebroken has a broken... house?

English spelling vs. pronunciation is pretty random, but far less arbitrary than the pronunciation of Chinese characters so I'm not going to complain too much. On the other hand, the pronunciations given in this video clip just seem downright capricious:
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #388 on: 10 Jul 2014, 07:00 »

Ah, but those are all proper names, not really a linguistic issue - they've had centuries to be mangled by a quasi-literate populace talking with most of their teeth missing in backwoods accents that would stump the residents two towns over. 

And oddly enough, most have the first and last sounds intact, it's just the middles that winds up mangled/missing. 

One of my favorites he missed was "Saint John" pronounced "sin-gin"
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #389 on: 10 Jul 2014, 08:18 »

And oddly enough, most have the first and last sounds intact, it's just the middles that winds up mangled/missing.

The English town "Cirencester" is nowadays mainly pronounced as spelt; but my mother said it the same as "sister".
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #390 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:18 »

How do you pronounce Rochester and Worcester?
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #391 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:23 »

If I remember correctly it's Roster and Wescter.
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Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #392 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:28 »

Ro-che-ster
Wu-ster
^ as in "wood", not "woo"

Incidentally, in contrast with Cirencester (Si-ren-se-ster), Bicester (a town near Oxford) is pronounced just Bi-ster (Bi as in "biscuit", not "bicycle") with the same elision as Worcester.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #393 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:34 »

Rah-chest-er

(being from the one in NY. :)  )
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #394 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:34 »

I take great delight in pronouncing Worcestershire as "Worr-ces-ter-shire" at work, in my most yokel-ish voice and watching everyone cringe.
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #395 on: 10 Jul 2014, 14:37 »

Rah-chest-er

(being from the one in NY. :)  )
Raw chest hair?

(I can't be the first person to think of that.)
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Quote from: snalin
I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #396 on: 10 Jul 2014, 15:16 »

Whale oil beef hooked!
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Re: English is weird
« Reply #397 on: 10 Jul 2014, 15:18 »

Whale oil beef hooked!
That's Armchair Emperor clever!
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The nerdy comic I update sometimes: Cesium Comics

Unofficial character tag thingy for QC

Carl-E

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #398 on: 10 Jul 2014, 19:51 »

Rah-chest-er

Raw chest hair?



Yeah, boss? 


This gag is intended to make the 5 of us who get the reference right off the bat feel incredibly smug in our dotage...
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When people try to speak a gut reaction, they end up talking out their ass.

Redball

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Re: English is weird
« Reply #399 on: 11 Jul 2014, 11:23 »

I got it, although I better recall the pre-TV radio voice than the image.
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