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* - BESIDES the Baristas, pervs.

12 (29.3%)

The Hammer of DOOM! (In which to make Banana Smoothies)

1 (2.4%)

Malaysian Battle Spatula

2 (4.9%)

The Broadsword of DOOM! (A cheap replica of Excalibur)

1 (2.4%)

The War Ladle!

0 (0%)

The Laptop of DOOM!

1 (2.4%)

The wi-fi hotspot!

1 (2.4%)

Marigold's spare DS (she left it there after she got a 3DS)

0 (0%)

Will's motorcycle keys!

0 (0%)

The Mouthwash of DOOM!

0 (0%)

The Emergency Bourbon!

4 (9.8%)

Freezer for the Emergency Haagen-Dazs!

0 (0%)

A ROBOT HAMSTER! (Hanners brought in a working prototype for fun)

1 (2.4%)

Daft Punk CD's!

2 (4.9%)

A spare Pizza Girl Costume - but it's NOT PENELOPE'S!

1 (2.4%)

A +20 Bag of Holding!

3 (7.3%)

Hammerspace!

6 (14.6%)

Space Ham!

1 (2.4%)

Waffles, of course.

0 (0%)

You mean there's something ELSE behind the counter????

3 (7.3%)

Of course there is - the FLOWER POT HATS!

2 (4.9%)

Total Members Voted: 41

[Mr_Rose]

And it's no longer an option because someone reported them to the OSHA inspectors. Turns out that 200dB is past the "ear bleeding" and significantly into the "bones turning to powder" range which, for some obscure reason, is considered hazardous. Weird.

[Method of Madness]

My favorite isn't so much a special, but if I recall, that their sizes are "Small", "Medium", "Large" and "What the fuck?"

[Is it cold in here?]

Quite literally, it turns out that 200 dB is enough to cause lung ruptures and death. WW I soldiers kept dying without obvious internal injuries when they were too close to an explosion.

[IanClark]

To answer the comic title, Marten would be Dilbert. The rest of them are interns. Although they don't exist in a world obviously and unsubtly written by a lazily and self-masturbatorily misanthropic writer, so really, none of then can be Dilbert. Although both Jeph and Scott Adams do both make it extremely obvious when they post in forums. The key difference is that Jeph accomplishes this by setting his username to "Jeph", and not by kissing his own ass so much that you know it has to be him.

Sorry, went off on a bit of a rant there. I saw colours in my head...

[techkid]

I voted for "Tequila Latte w/ worm", but the one I like most is the carrot-pickle-espresso monstrosity. Be damned if that didn't have me coughing my lungs up after reading it!

I'm re-reading the archives, see.

[Kugai]

Darn, I was going to go with a Conan The Librarian joke, but I think I'm too late


Death Metal Latte.   

Just for fun, it would be served by Lemmie   

[cvcharger]

Hanners made me smile for the first time today. <3
Also, why is Daft Punk @ 200 dB not an option? It's by far the best special.

You know, I probably would have picked that if it was on the list of specials, but oh well.

[Schmorgluck]

I couldn't post this earlier because of erratic internet access.
I've been reading through the archive of Unshelved in small chunks since the guest comic by Bill Barnes (I'm up to october 2010 right now). Am I the only one who thought Claire's exhilarated panegyric to libraries made her sound a bit like Tamara?

[helenmariet]

No, you're not the only one although I think she's definitely more of a cross between Tamara and their new volunteer/graduate/whoever-she-is.  Unshelved's RSS feed breaks every few months for me so I keep on forgetting to keep up with it and lose track of character names.

I like Emily.  She seems very serene compared to the rest of the cast.

[WAYF]

BLAM

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

[Schmorgluck]

I like Emily.  She seems very serene compared to the rest of the cast.

And quirky inside: I love it. She enjoys CoD for what it is.

[VonKleist]

Yay for asian intern

[Vurogj]

Yup, every strip I like her more.

[pwhodges]

Happiness is a smashed banana!

[VonKleist]

Ha!
I´mma check out my fruit basket.

[Lubricus]

Wow! That's an instant favourite for me - great strip! And like others have said, Emily gets better every day!

[Soulsynger]

How would one even drink that? Or do you eat it with a plastic lobster toy?

edit:
Favorite moment of the week
"Can I have that one?"
"No."

[Sidhekin]

Even Faye likes Emily.

[Welu]

Emily's expressions are great. I really like Faye in the background of Panel 1 and Hanners somewhat disturbed expression in the last panel. Maybe she's on clean-up duty.

[DSL]

Various impressions:

Emily seems genuinely happy with her smashed-banana "smoothie." ("Lumpie"?) Apparently expectations were created.

Hanners has the only "normal" reaction in today's strip.

That's an awfully small hammer by CoD standards.

[Jabberwocky]

Happiness is a smashed banana!

Asante sana.

[HiFranc]

Happiness is a smashed banana!

Here's some music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MYzkBiJn5Y&feature=player_embedded

{edit}For those of you who don't get the reference, here's part of an old British marketing campaign.  They can't do it now because it's since been made illegal to advertise tobacco products on TV.

[Danziker]

I concurr... Hanners had the only one "normal " expression in the strip...
Faye keep being the most huggable-cuddable sexy badass monster in CoD
Emily... pretty and sweet as a strawberry's cake in mama's home... ( I really like her... anyone has meet somebody like her?)
Claire... desesperately trying to fit...
 

[Is it cold in here?]

The tradition passes down from generation to generation.

[jwhouk]

I think this week's MOTW is automatically "Banana SMASH!"

[KOODustin]

Tall Asian intern is hot  I hope we see more of her.

[Soulsynger]

Happiness is a smashed banana!

Asante sana.

I laughed SO hard! *wipes a tear* ... *giggles* Thank you for that.

[Akima]

My favorite isn't so much a special, but if I recall, that their sizes are "Small", "Medium", "Large" and "What the fuck?"

Small, Medium, Large, and "Fuck you bladder". For me, the specials board has never improved on Specials: Were pretty good, for a ska band.

I like Emily.  She seems very serene compared to the rest of the cast.

Dharma with banana. I love Emily's expressions of disappointment and satisfaction.

[LTK]

I like Emily more with each and every comic.

[DSL]

Happiness is a smashed banana!

That ... plus Emily in the last panel ... really needs to be a T-shirt. And/Or an apron. And/Or a tote bag. And/Or a mousepad. And/Or ...

Jeph? TopatoCo?

Also ... what else do they keep behind that counter at CoD? The potential for speculation boggles the mind.

[Soulsynger]

[ ... ] Also ... what else do they keep behind that counter at CoD? [ ... ]

Replicator. Fresh outa Star Trek. Thats why.

[Omega Entity]

We know there's at least a broadsword, Emergency Whiskey, and mouthwash (Plan Omega - if I'm feeling ambitious I might do an archive trawl for links).

[DSL]

We know there's at least a broadsword, Emergency Whiskey, and mouthwash (Plan Omega - if I'm feeling ambitious I might do an archive trawl for links).

No! No! Speculate! Be like Soulsynger!

EDIT: It occurs to me The Site That Must Not Be Linked actually calls this "Hammerspace."

[pwhodges]

We know there's at least a broadsword, Emergency Whiskey, and mouthwash (Plan Omega - if I'm feeling ambitious I might do an archive trawl for links).

And a laptop computer (seen in 469, 479 and 732, and mentioned in 1242)

[Method of Madness]

Yay for asian intern

Tall Asian intern is hot  I hope we see more of her.

Really, guys?  We know their names now, you guys can use them. 

[larn]

In the time required for Hannelore to make one smoothie, Faye erased the board and wrote out new specials? Has this been happening throughout the whole comic and I've only now noticed?

[Throg]

Plus, Battle Spatula and War Ladle.

Funniest comic in a while, great pacing.  Jeph may have had plans for Claire, but Emily seems to becoming the new fan favorite. 

[Vurogj]

In the time required for Hannelore to make one smoothie, Faye erased the board and wrote out new specials? Has this been happening throughout the whole comic and I've only now noticed?

Are they new though? We only see the left side in 2209, and the right side in 2210, they could easily (and appear to me to) read :

Blood Latte
Scab Mocha
Bone Americano
Hot Dog Muffin

[DSL]

In the time required for Hannelore to make one smoothie, Faye erased the board and wrote out new specials? Has this been happening throughout the whole comic and I've only now noticed?

Are they new though? We only see the left side in 2209, and the right side in 2210, they could easily (and appear to me to) read :

Blood Latte
Scab Mocha
Bone Americano
Hot Dog Muffin

That's how I read it, too. Although the last panel of 2210 could be read on its own as "dog muffin," which takes things to a new level entirely.

[Schmorgluck]

[EDIT: It occurs to me The Site That Must Not Be Linked actually calls this "Hammerspace."

Talk about fridge brilliance.


 

[Soulsynger]

No! No! Speculate! Be like Soulsynger!

That hurts, mate. But you're right. Gotta dial down the crazy a notch.

... And I think the mighty War Ladle (yep, capped) left the house together with Sam.

[jwhouk]

Happiness is a smashed banana!

That ... plus Emily in the last panel ... really needs to be a T-shirt. And/Or an apron. And/Or a tote bag. And/Or a mousepad. And/Or ...

Jeph? TopatoCo?

Also ... what else do they keep behind that counter at CoD? The potential for speculation boggles the mind.

+20 Bag of Holding, of course.

[FunkyTuba]

I think we're burying the lead here, people.

Faye actually went out of her way to MAKE A CUSTOMER HAPPY!

I don't think this has happened ... unless you count Angus, of course

[Throg]

I think we're burying the lead here, people.

Faye actually went out of her way to MAKE A CUSTOMER HAPPY!

I don't think this has happened ... unless you count Angus, of course

Yes but the extra effort was an excuse to exhibit violent, extreme behavior. So it's a plus all around.

[Method of Madness]

Also, it allowed her to deny Claire the smoothie.

[jmucchiello]

Faye actually went out of her way to MAKE A CUSTOMER HAPPY!

Without being asked!!!

[jwhouk]

It's called "We have a Reputation to Uphold."

[jwhouk]

What's YOUR favorite Coffee of Doom Special?

Banana Smoothies!    8 (15.7%)
Death Metal Latte!    6 (11.8%)
Chili and Pop Rocks in a Mocha! (aka "Number 28")    2 (3.9%)
Electroclash Frappe!    0 (0%)
Red Bull and Peanut Butter!    1 (2%)
Cat Hair Latte and Litterbox Brownies!    1 (2%)
Specials... were pretty good for a Ska band    0 (0%)
Fresh F###in' Bagels    9 (17.6%)
Banana Mocha, Banana Brownies, Banana Bread...    4 (7.8%)
Yak Butter in Everything!    4 (7.8%)
Granola Mocha and Crunchy Chai!    0 (0%)
Tequila Latte w/worm    2 (3.9%)
Savory muffins and pizza water    0 (0%)
Bone marrow scones and latte!    0 (0%)
Spathe Ham! (Okay, okay, it's not a special.)    2 (3.9%)
Coffee. Just... coffee.    5 (9.8%)
Coffee that Faye's already drunk from the cup.    7 (13.7%)

Total Members Voted: 51

[Y]

Hot dog muffin sounds like an actual edible special. I bet it would even taste great.

[DSL]

No! No! Speculate! Be like Soulsynger!

That hurts, mate. But you're right. Gotta dial down the crazy a notch.

... And I think the mighty War Ladle (yep, capped) left the house together with Sam.

You don't understand. I wanted speculation! Dial up the crazy. It would be fun. Maybe even a poll.

See, like the transporter. Or a portal of some sort. Wil's motorcycle. Penelope's Pizza Girl costume (not confirming or denying anything. It's for Halloween.) Or that emo girl Dora keeps tied up so she can steal her clothes and dress like an indie librarian. Or Sara.

THE ROBOT HAMSTER!