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6 (14.3%)

He - he didn't say anything WEIRD, did he? (Everything he says is kind of weird.)

0 (0%)

Wait, you're HANNELORE ELLICOTT-CHATHAM?!

0 (0%)

Don't make me do this! I don't want to but I will!

1 (2.4%)

Aren't your parents, like, billionaires? Why are you working in a coffee shop in Northampton?

0 (0%)

This is all a simulation designed to teach me how to interact with people in the real world.

2 (4.8%)

ASK ME HOW TO DRAW A KITTY!

8 (19%)

If that's true then whoever programmed it is a ####.

2 (4.8%)

Is there an infinite guitars cheat and if so can you activate it for me?

2 (4.8%)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

0 (0%)

WE'RE NOT TWINS!

2 (4.8%)

I'm not creepy, she's creepy! I'm not creepy, he's creepy!

2 (4.8%)

No, sorry, you two are kinda creepy. (Pick a number between 1 and 256!)

3 (7.1%)

I don't even CARE about your stupid dad! My dad's not stupid! He's really smart!

0 (0%)

I'm not a FAN. Why don't you like him?

0 (0%)

I don't even KNOW him! I don't know Sir Patrick Stewart but I like  HIM.

1 (2.4%)

Sorry, but I've met her dad and he's pretty cool. SEE?

0 (0%)

I'm sorry about my brother.

0 (0%)

Do you REALLY spank your bottom when you...

9 (21.4%)

I WAS EXAGGERATING

4 (9.5%)

Total Members Voted: 39

[Mr_Rose]

The one in the shaft heading upwards, talking to Gold Leader.
Also, I can confirm there is a rightmost edge, beyond which lies the unknown deeps.

[Is it cold in here?]

The question(s) is/are [delete as appropriate]...

Is that hose always connected? If so, why? Do that many creeps come in that they need large quantities of high pressure water available at a moment's notice?

Pre-post edit:
Which X-Wing? There's two.

Some possible explanations are
o The hose is actually hooked to a coffee machine and is used for the greediest customers
o It's just a cartoon and things happen for no other reason than being funny
o They leave the hose connected so Dora can make her employees do wet T-shirt contests
o It's used on customers who don't tip
o It's not actually connected all the time but Hannelore's genetically engineered reaction speed allow her to get it out of the closet and hook it up before anyone else can blink.

[cesium133]

http://echochamber.me/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=91362 is the discussion thread for today's XKCD comic

Judging by the squared measurements [14 N, 48 E, 25 S, 33 W] (at 2048 x 2048px per square), the whole would be 165888 x 79782px.

The most intruiging part is, ALL OF THAT would only be a miniscule representation of our world...

Edit: To create all of that in GIMP takes memory space of 124.8GB. Anyone got a spare datacentre?

Rendered at 600 dpi, it would be 276.5x133 inches.

As for the memory issues, I have access to a supercomputer that could fit that into the memory of 8 nodes (16 GB per node). Is there a distributed computing version of GIMP? 

[iduguphergrave]

I think the hose is my new favorite character.

[bhtooefr]

IIRC, last time the hose was brought out, it was shown as not connected.

So, it's just being used as a flail.

[DSL]

Perhaps the hose is connected, this time.
If so, IDUHG, this would be character evolution.

[cesariojpn]

o They leave the hose connected so Dora can make her employees do wet T-shirt contests

Hey, no fair putting out shipping bait like that!!

[Is it cold in here?]

Coffee of Doom sexual harassment policy.

[ChaosWolf]

Coffee of Doom sexual harassment policy.

Our Harassment Policy: Is Non-Existent.

[jmucchiello]

http://clickanddrag.azurewebsites.net/

Not mine and I don't think it's the whole thing, but...

There are better websites than that one. Try this: http://dump.ventero.de/xkcd1110/

My favorite part is the two sperm whales plummeting from orbit. I think the only "failure" is that the image doesn't wrap around so you could scroll left forever.

OT: So Claire guessed Hannelore's last name using the "how many Hannelores can there be?" algorithm, I'm guessing?

[Mr_Rose]

Marten's description contains two vital bits of info:
• the barista's name is Hannelore
• Clinton is a fanboy of her father
If we assume that Clinton is enough of a fanboy to talk the ears off of anyone foolish enough to stand still for it on his favourite subject and that Claire is actually his kin in some degree and therefore somewhat socially obliged to listen when he drones on at parties, it stands to reason that she'd be somewhat familiar with the details. Though her association time was suspiciously short to jump directly from "daughter of stupid Clinton's stupid crush" to screaming Hanners' full name out without some small degree of pre-established connection… perhaps meeting Clinton so unexpectedly was enough to stimulate the right synapses? Otherwise it might seem, to those without the relevant background, that Claire herself is potentially as obsessed as Clinton.

Of course it could turn out that she actually is a fangirl, just not of Hanners' dad…

[Akima]

Is that hose always connected? If so, why? Do that many creeps come in that they need large quantities of high pressure water available at a moment's notice?

Maybe they hose off the pavement (sidewalk) outside the shop each morning, like many cafés in Sydney? A mundane explanation? That's just crazy-talk! Obviously Dora has had the CoD fitted out like an abattoir, so that the staff can just hose the place down after the kung-fu monks have fled over the rooftops taking their wounded with them? The hose ought really to have one of those on-off nozzles though.

[Is it cold in here?]

What would a Beatrice fan girl be like?

[Mr_Rose]

The thing about fanpeople is that you can never really be sure just exactly what they're fans of. In the sense that, should you objectively compare a collection of fans' descriptions of their object both with each other and an accurate depiction of said object, you will find wide variances from each other and from reality.

So any given fan of anything, could be "like" whatever it is they think they're worshiping rather than what everyone else thinks they are…

[DSL]

That applies to everything, not just fandom -- from the whole basis of the movie "Rashomon" to any police report with more than one witness -- or news story derived therefrom.

I would ask, however, that you stipulate there's a difference (mainly in degree) between "fanboy/girl" and just plain "fan."

[jwhouk]

You would think that, in the kitchen part of the shop (or at least wherever she has the cleaning stuff) she had a floor drain installed. In which case, she could have a faucet with a hose adapter thread on it to allow for hosing down the floor by the drains (in case of an espresso machine explosion, perhaps?).

[Mr_Rose]

That applies to everything, not just fandom -- from the whole basis of the movie "Rashomon" to any police report with more than one witness -- or news story derived therefrom.

I would ask, however, that you stipulate there's a difference (mainly in degree) between "fanboy/girl" and just plain "fan."

Oh naturally there's a difference. And I've always found it to be that fanboys/girls exaggerate their object's achievements and diminish their faults in direct proportion to their fanaticism.

So a B E-C fangirl might well have latched on to the fact that she's become a powerful business leader and also a mother and ignore that she got there by questionably legal means and almost aloof her mothering was by proxy. Actually meeting Hanners could well cause apoplexy in such a person…

[DSL]

... but never mind all that. What happened to the banana smooshie?

[Ph2]

... but never mind all that. What happened to the banana smooshie?

It went the way of the dinosaur.

Wormholes.

[Toe]

So basically, Claire isn't a clone of Clinton, she's a clone of E. Honda.

[Sorflakne]

Or, even further afield; 

Today's xkcd.  Click and Drag! 


I haven't reached the "end" in any direction yet...

Did you find the X-Wing yet?

No, but I [think I] found the Nautilus.

Edit:  Found Wedge Antilles's X-wing!!

Edit2:  Found a Saturn 1b in the AS 202 configuration on the launchpad.

[Kugai]

Hannelore - Armed and Dangerous

[Method of Madness]

Actually, there's a guy who's my .. fourth cousin?  Our great-grandfathers were brothers. 

That'd make you third cousins.

[snubnose]

Drat.

Noooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooomic.

Drat.

On other news, the hose is of course available because of the rule of cool.

[cesariojpn]

Drat.

Noooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooomic.

Drat.

He invoked Godwin's law.....thats a sure sign.

[Pilchard123]

I see no Godwin...

On other news, the hose is of course available because of the rule of cool.

I'm glad I've finished my assignment.

[idontunderstand]

While we wait... what's this John Campbell thing Jeph is talking about on twitter?

[Vurogj]

While we wait... what's this John Campbell thing Jeph is talking about on twitter?

John Campbell posted an update to his Pictures for Sad Children book 2 Kickstarter claiming he's been faking his depression the whole time. tumblr did not get the joke.

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/73258510/sad-pictures-for-children/posts/311890

Edit : Added link

[idontunderstand]

Hmm. Very thoughtful. I have to admit I don't quite get it. Is he saying that depression is solely a cultural phenomenon? I really can relate to what he is saying about artists projection an image of being depressed though.

EDIT: Oh shit this is bigger than I thought... What the hell? This is one weird joke, if it is a joke.

[Madmartigan]

Oh, Claire.  You're digging yourself a grave honey.

Ah, Hanners.  Love you.  Use the hose already!

Wonder if Sir Patrick Stewart is another of Hanner's crushes like firemen were.

[LordVaughn]

i can see where Claire is going with the argument. what seems to be her problem is that she sees almost everything as a logical thing. for example, being outright flabbergasted that her fellow interns were only at the library for reasons not entirely necessary to education. This isnt necessarily a bad thing, but delving into logic far too often around those not aligned to logical things, or aligned to a different form of logic, she will find herself in plenty of situations like this.

[jwhouk]

Friday's comic is going to be verrrrryyyyy innnnnteressssstink.

[Skewbrow]

... or just a back story: "How Clinton lost his hand."

[Daniel Patrick Moynihan]

I think this is another case of Hannelore getting someone's tone all wrong and then not paying attention to what they're saying.  And another case of Claire expressing herself poorly then quadrupling down on the poor expression.
Or Hanners is tumblr, Claire is John Campbell, and Marten is Jeph being amused at the altercation.

[Carl-E]

Hanners would make an excellent prosecuting attorney. 


And Claire's a lousy defendant. 




Now, is Clinton your brother, or what? 

[Border Reiver]

I'm not even sure I'd want Claire to be giving affidavit evidence.

As a big plus, it is enjoyable seeing Hanners playing this up so well.  She is playing, isn't she?

[Near Lurker]

And now Claire learns who Marten's mother is...

[DSL]

... As a big plus, it is enjoyable seeing Hanners playing this up so well.  She is playing, isn't she?

I think that's why I like this character so much. We're never quite sure, are we?

[Mr_Rose]

And now Claire learns who Marten's mother is...

Now there's a meeting I want to see. Assuming they haven't met already…

[WAYF]

i can see where Claire is going with the argument. what seems to be her problem is that she sees almost everything as a logical thing. for example, being outright flabbergasted that her fellow interns were only at the library for reasons not entirely necessary to education. This isnt necessarily a bad thing, but delving into logic far too often around those not aligned to logical things, or aligned to a different form of logic, she will find herself in plenty of situations like this.

To quote Terry Pratchett, "humans have always preferred common sense to logic" (-Interesting Times). Your analysis of Claire's character is essentially the reason why, I think.
Also, speaking as somebody who is studying logic at university, logic sucks.

And anyway, Hannerdad IS pretty cool whichever way you look at him. I mean, the guy has a space station and an army (of cancer-fighting nanomachines) at his disposal, he is basically THE mad scientist!

[Blackjoker]

I think Martens expression is a sign that he's enjoying seeing reality attack someone other than him with rather extreme irrationality

[Dr. ROFLPWN]

Hmm. Very thoughtful. I have to admit I don't quite get it. Is he saying that depression is solely a cultural phenomenon? I really can relate to what he is saying about artists projection an image of being depressed though.

EDIT: Oh shit this is bigger than I thought... What the hell? This is one weird joke, if it is a joke.

Okay I'm going to jump on this because I have been watching Tumblr flail around being godawful shithead morons all night and I want the QCF to know the score:

-John Campbell has depression. As in, clinical depression. He is not faking depression.
-People who fake clinical depression do not fucking exist. The idea that people who have this crippling mental condition are "fakers" or just need to learn how to be "self-loving" is ridiculous and offensive.
-He is posing as someone who is faking depression for profit in order to criticize the idea that artists who are depressed are "just faking it". It is satirical of the terrible attitude people have about mental illness!
-Jeph, likely because he has mental conditions of his own, found the satire to be very funny.
-People on Tumblr, many of them not mentally disabled and in fact just seeking to promote what the Tumblr hive mind has told them activism and social justice is, took the satirical posing as a sincere statement. They acted very badly in response.
-Jeph attempted to engage them in discussion.
-You do not do that with Tumblr, because it's Tumblr.

EDITED in case some Tumblrites find me here and I have to deal with them

[idontunderstand]

Thanks for jumping on it! I was really wondering what the hell was going on there. I found Campbell's post really puzzling because I thought it was so tasteless there was no way it could be real, but then it was so well written I couldn't tell for sure..

[Mothykins]

Hmm. Very thoughtful. I have to admit I don't quite get it. Is he saying that depression is solely a cultural phenomenon? I really can relate to what he is saying about artists projection an image of being depressed though.

EDIT: Oh shit this is bigger than I thought... What the hell? This is one weird joke, if it is a joke.

Okay I'm going to jump on this because I have been watching Tumblr flail around being godawful shithead morons all night and I want the QCF to know the score:

-John Campbell has depression. As in, clinical depression. He is not faking depression.
-People who fake clinical depression do not fucking exist. The idea that people who have this crippling mental condition are "fakers" or just need to learn how to be "self-loving" is ridiculous and offensive.
-He is posing as someone who is faking depression for profit in order to criticize the idea that artists who are depressed are "just faking it". It is satirical of the terrible attitude people have about mental illness!
-Jeph, likely because he has mental conditions of his own, found the satire to be very funny.
-People on Tumblr, many of them not mentally disabled and in fact just seeking to promote what the Tumblr hive mind has told them activism and social justice is, took the satirical posing as a sincere statement. They acted very badly in response.
-Jeph attempted to engage them in discussion.
-You do not do that with Tumblr, because it's Tumblr.

EDITED in case some Tumblrites find me here and I have to deal with them

I've found that satire, like sarcasm, doesn't translate well to the internet. Many people just don't pick up on it.

[Pilchard123]

Poe's law wins again.

[Is it cold in here?]

I am very glad Jeph has a sense of humor about it. Humor has a partial protective effect against emotional death spirals.

[Akima]

I've found that satire, like sarcasm, doesn't translate well to the internet. Many people just don't pick up on it.

It's not the internet. It's been a problem since at least the time of Jonathan Swift's A Modest Proposal. The internet just increases the audience of stupid people, and distributes their stupidity more widely.

And Claire? "Stupid" is not a good word to apply to someone's parent to their face. You should have worked this out by now. Marten is so enjoying this. I think there is a touch of "Welcome to my world!".

[Tova]

I think the problem with this John Campbell post, for me at least, is that it makes no sense whatsoever unless you have been immersed in all the discussion and context that led up to it (as obviously he has, probably Jeph, and probably his fan base as well; but perhaps not the tumblr people who are bitching about it).

I mean, I can see that it is satire, but I am totally unfamiliar with whatever it is that is satirising. Hence - bafflement.

And yes, Marten is enjoying this. To me, that grin is saying "sorry - you're on your own, I'm enjoying this too much to help!"

[Sorflakne]

Man, Clinton is going to flip when he learns they recenty went to space and hung out with Hanners's dad.

[Asterus]

Marten's probably thinking "In the words of Roy Greenhilt, 'It's like I'm watching my life, but from the outside'"