Topic: QC Captions Vol. 92 (Read 27167 times)

iduguphergrave · « **on:** 09 Dec 2012, 10:32 »

Good morning, Questionables! (did we ever reach a consensus on what QC fans should call themselves? I thought we did but now I'm not sure) FIRST PANEL:

Enjoy!

DSL · « **Reply #1 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 11:02 »

MATCHMAKERPC: "Oh, that reminds me ... your new companion's name is 'Pintsize.'"
MARTEN: "..."

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #2 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 11:48 »

Matchmaker: "Thank you for your understanding of the need to shower after talking to Pintsize."
Marten: "Yeah, but did you see that furry threesome he found?"

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #3 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 12:04 »

MATCHMAKER: "So THAT'S how you keep it a secret while wearing such tight jeans..."
MARTIN: "Yup, articulation seams. "

Pilchard123 · « **Reply #4 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 13:38 »

MATCHMAKER: That's...impressive.

MARTEN: It's the turgidity.

PintsizeForPresident · « **Reply #5 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 13:55 »

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 09 Dec 2012, 12:04

MATCHMAKER: "So THAT'S how you keep it a secret while wearing such tight jeans..."
MARTIN: "Yup, articulation seams. "

"It's roughly the size of my forearm and fist, and about as dextrous."

PintsizeForPresident · « **Reply #6 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 14:01 »

MARTEN: That was by far the most satisfying DNA extraction technique ever performed on me.
SALESLADYPC: Yeah, I hear that a lot. Please come back in nine months to meet your new AI buddy.

riccostar · « **Reply #7 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 16:01 »

MATCHMAKERPC: I have to admit beforehand, these aren't natural.
Marten: That's okay, neither is th-- shoot...

WAYF · « **Reply #8 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 17:42 »

Marten: So, what do you think?

Pintsize: You're right! Actually BEING a hot chick is so much better!

(Aaarrgh

)

Bluesummers · « **Reply #9 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 21:51 »

Quote from: PintsizeForPresident on 09 Dec 2012, 13:55

"It's roughly the size of my forearm and fist, and about as dextrous."

Bow-chicka-uh-oh... >.< I remember that one...

Quote from: WAYF on 09 Dec 2012, 17:42

Marten: So, what do you think?

Pintsize: You're right! Actually BEING a hot chick is so much better!

That...takes the pre-emptive cake. Alright, who can top this? XD

Sorflakne · « **Reply #10 on:** 09 Dec 2012, 22:55 »

Matchmaker: You've been with a RealDoll? I've never had the pleasure of one...they're creepy.
Marten: They're not so bad once you get past the Uncanny Valley.

Skewbrow · « **Reply #11 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 02:52 »

LadyBot: (buttoning up) "I would like to continue with you, Mr Reed, but this concludes the testing and calibration of your new robotic enhancement..."
Marten: "The pleasure was all mine."
LadyBot: "... At this point I am legally obliged to disclose to you that some of our past customers have reported certain rare and unquantifiable side effects. There is an unproven theory that the combination of a laid back personality and our product will cause your body to produce pheromones that young women with a selected range of psychological problems find particularly irresistible. It's explained in detail in the small print. I need you to sign a waiver?
Marten: "Eh? You're saying that chicks will go crazy near me. I fail to see the problem. Where do I sign?"

Quote from: WAYF on 09 Dec 2012, 17:42

Marten: So, what do you think?

Pintsize: You're right! Actually BEING a hot chick is so much better!

(Aaarrgh )

OMG. That's a win right there.

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #12 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 04:13 »

MATCHMAKER: So you learned that trick from watching hours and hours of porn?
MARTIN: Damn right.
MATCHMAKER: Have I the PERFECT companion for you!

MillionDollar Belt Sander · « **Reply #13 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 04:18 »

Quote from: Skewbrow on 10 Dec 2012, 02:52

"
LadyBot: "... At this point I am legally obliged to disclose to you that some of our past customers have reported certain rare and unquantifiable side effects. There is an unproven theory that the combination of a laid back personality and our product will cause your body to produce pheromones that young women with a selected range of psychological problems find particularly irresistible. It's explained in detail in the small print. I need you to sign a waiver?
Marten: "Eh? You're saying that chicks will go crazy near me. I fail to see the problem. Where do I sign?"

No. THIS is the winner, right here.

Border Reiver · « **Reply #14 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 05:13 »

Ladybot: "I should probably tell you this will be our last meeting. Tomorrow, I'm downloading into the new Sony KawaiiPC HPC-4100x in a few days. Maybe I'll see you again.

Marten: "Maybe."

Thrudd · « **Reply #15 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 10:01 »

Ladybot (unbuttoning): "Are you sure it will all fit?"

Marten: "I think so."

Squints at Ladybot

Marten: "Your shoulders are about as narrow as mine. Size 6 right?"

Carl-E · « **Reply #16 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 10:06 »

OK, that right there? That's creative brilliance.

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #17 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 12:38 »

Marten: Do you read Oglaf? Cause there's this one fantasy I got from it that I'm totally hung up on...
Ladybot: Say no more! GORDON! GET IN HERE!

~~cesariojpn~~ · « **Reply #18 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 12:50 »

LadyBot: Just a question Mr. Reed. Who is "Veronica?"
Marten: Oh, just someone I know. You kinda remind me of her.

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #19 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 16:42 »

DSL · « **Reply #20 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 17:01 »

Quote from: Thrudd on 10 Dec 2012, 10:01

Ladybot (unbuttoning): "Are you sure it will all fit?"

Marten: "I think so."

Squints at Ladybot

Marten: "Your shoulders are about as narrow as mine. Size 6 right?"

What Carl-E said, to which I will add: WIN.

WAYF · « **Reply #21 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 21:07 »

Quote from: MillionDollar Belt Sander on 10 Dec 2012, 04:18

Quote from: Skewbrow on 10 Dec 2012, 02:52
LadyBot: (buttoning up) "I would like to continue with you, Mr Reed, but this concludes the testing and calibration of your new robotic enhancement..."
Marten: "The pleasure was all mine."
LadyBot: "... At this point I am legally obliged to disclose to you that some of our past customers have reported certain rare and unquantifiable side effects. There is an unproven theory that the combination of a laid back personality and our product will cause your body to produce pheromones that young women with a selected range of psychological problems find particularly irresistible. It's explained in detail in the small print. I need you to sign a waiver?
Marten: "Eh? You're saying that chicks will go crazy near me. I fail to see the problem. Where do I sign?"

Quote from: WAYF on 09 Dec 2012, 17:42
Marten: So, what do you think?

Pintsize: You're right! Actually BEING a hot chick is so much better!

(Aaarrgh )
OMG. That's a win right there.
[re: Skewbrow's caption] No. THIS is the winner, right here.

While I am quite... "proud" of my own caption, I have to agree, that is brilliant Skewbrow.

Akima · « **Reply #22 on:** 10 Dec 2012, 22:15 »

Quote from: Thrudd on 10 Dec 2012, 10:01

Marten: "Your shoulders are about as narrow as mine. Size 6 right?"

But are her wig and spectacles detachable? Come to think of it, why is she wearing spectacles?

ChaosWolf · « **Reply #23 on:** 11 Dec 2012, 00:13 »

Quote from: Akima on 10 Dec 2012, 22:15

Quote from: Thrudd on 10 Dec 2012, 10:01
Marten: "Your shoulders are about as narrow as mine. Size 6 right?"
But are her wig and spectacles detachable? Come to think of it, why is she wearing spectacles?

Same reason she's wearing any clothing and has a feminine physique rather than a bare featureless chassis.

It disturbs humans less.

Akima · « **Reply #24 on:** 11 Dec 2012, 00:16 »

Are you disturbed by people who don't wear glasses?

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #25 on:** 11 Dec 2012, 01:17 »

Glasses are an appropriate part of a uniform that signals clinical detachment. They go with the tight bun.

People without glasses don't necessarily disturb me, but I've had consistently better experiences with people who do wear glasses.

Matchmaker: "Those shorts look comfortable! Does the same company make bras?"
Marten: "Ohh, yeah, they have a see-through number that's just right for you!"

Soulsynger · « **Reply #26 on:** 11 Dec 2012, 05:08 »

MATCHMAKER: "Are we undressing or dressing?"
MARTEN: "I'm not here to get philosophical."

Quote from: Thrudd on 10 Dec 2012, 10:01

Ladybot (unbuttoning): "Are you sure it will all fit?"
Marten: "I think so."
Squints at Ladybot
Marten: "Your shoulders are about as narrow as mine. Size 6 right?"

I feel stupid for not really getting how this is funny... oO
(Is it a quote or something?)

Carl-E · « **Reply #27 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 01:47 »

It's a takeoff on a trope of switching clothes / identities. At least, that's how I saw it...

iduguphergrave · « **Reply #28 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 09:44 »

That was pretty epic

NEW PANEL:

cump

celticgeek · « **Reply #29 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 09:48 »

Gordon: The little hats.....
Marten: Yesssssss.

cesium133 · « **Reply #30 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 10:14 »

Gordon: I'm just gonna lean over a bit here, so I can fuck you in the ear...
Marten: Please don't tell me you're the AI I'm getting matched up with.

K1dmor · « **Reply #31 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 10:34 »

Gordon: "Hmm, difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?"
Marten: "Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin."

PintsizeForPresident · « **Reply #32 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 10:45 »

GORDON: Bow to your God, human!
MARTEN: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

jmucchiello · « **Reply #33 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 11:29 »

Quote from: K1dmor on 12 Dec 2012, 10:34

Gordon: "Hmm, difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?"
Marten: "Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin."

Win

Skewbrow · « **Reply #34 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 11:43 »

Quote from: K1dmor on 12 Dec 2012, 10:34

Gordon: "Hmm, difficult. Very difficult. Plenty of courage, I see. Not a bad mind, either. There's talent, oh yes. And a thirst to prove yourself. But where to put you?"
Marten: "Not Slytherin. Not Slytherin."

Nice! And you saved (at least some of) us the trouble of searching a suitable Sorting Hat line. But I'm still tempted to continue that dialogue...

Gordon: "Wrong answer!.... Wrong answer? OMG...." (pair of tentacles swells, turns purple, and falls off)

or alternatively just go with something different such as

Gordon: "Dandruff and sweat into my silk gland again. Hello, yeast infection. Thank you very much. For your sake I hope the biometrics won't be thrown off."
Marten: "?"
LadyBot (off-screen): "Gordon, this job is your CALLING."

FunkyTuba · « **Reply #35 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 11:46 »

ok fine... one more hit on this theme then I'll shut up:

Quote from: FunkyTuba on 10 Dec 2012, 12:38

Quote from: iduguphergrave on 09 Dec 2012, 10:32

Marten: Do you read Oglaf? Cause there's this one fantasy I got from it that I'm totally hung up on...
Ladybot: Say no more! GORDON! GET IN HERE!

Marten: That's not quite what I meant...

Is it cold in here? · « **Reply #36 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 12:11 »

Gordon: "I want to taste your fluids!"
Marten: "Move down two feet. They are conveniently outside my body now."

Skewbrow · « **Reply #37 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 12:57 »

A nice combo of call back and "classy"

Pilchard123 · « **Reply #38 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 13:45 »

Gordon: Why don't you like me?
Marten: It's your enormity!

Why no, I don't think I'll stop any time soon.

DSL · « **Reply #39 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 14:25 »

GORDON: "Got him! And that was my last quarter, too."
MARTEN: "The claaaaawwwwwwwwwww ... "

WAYF · « **Reply #40 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 14:56 »

Quote from: Pilchard123 on 12 Dec 2012, 13:45

Why no, I don't think I'll stop any time soon.

Dear god what have I doonnnneee.

Marten: TWUERGUFRGARETRSGHNEFSHBE!!!

Dr. Corrine: I don't understand! No matter what form I take, I always scare my patients! I mean, very first thing I tried was a nice, friendly Tapir, and Hannelore freaked right out and ran away screaming! What am I supposed to do?!

Soulsynger · « **Reply #41 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 15:20 »

Gordon: "Am I doing this wrong?"
Marten: "Doing what wrong?"
Matchmaker off-panel: "For the last time, Gordon, you're neither a headcrap nor a facehugger!"

(Yeah, I got nothing... my first thought was the talking hat thing from Harry Potter but someone already did that. Oo)

K1dmor · « **Reply #42 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 20:07 »

Gordon: "Are you shaking? Do you want me to raise the room temperature or something?"
Marten: "Why did i have to play Metroid today...?"

Carl-E · « **Reply #43 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 22:02 »

Gordon: "So, you want it spiky like before?"

Marten: "Yes, please, but not so much off the top this time?"

K1dmor · « **Reply #44 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 22:42 »

Gordon: "Wow...Do you see that articulation seams? Why aren't you looking at them?"
Marten: "I'm trying to convince myselft that that's your ninth leg poking me..."

DSL · « **Reply #45 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 23:07 »

GORDON: "I'm not going to be a Sorting Spiderbot forever, you know. I have this idea for an installation art piece ... "
MARTEN: "I will have given at the hair salon. Eventually."

DrBear · « **Reply #46 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 23:11 »

Gordon: Doctor, I have this growth on my butt...
Marten: (softly) that joke is sooooooooo old...

Soulsynger · « **Reply #47 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 23:15 »

Creeeeeeepy DSL is creepy.

Gordon: "I've ... seen things you people wouldn't believe. Hm... attack ships on fire off the shoulder of orion. I watched sea beams ... glitter in the dark near the Terhauser Gate. ... all those... moments will be lost ... in time. Like... tears ... in the rain. *long pause, heartfelt music* Time ... to die."

*Marten flies away*

Quote from: DrBear on 12 Dec 2012, 23:11

Gordon: Doctor, I have this growth on my butt...
Marten: (softly) that joke is sooooooooo old...

Bwahahaha... now THAT is in keeping with this forums attitude!

~~cesariojpn~~ · « **Reply #48 on:** 12 Dec 2012, 23:16 »

Quote from: iduguphergrave on 10 Dec 2012, 16:42

Well I would've gone with a Dora crossdressing/genderbending joke, but given as of late.....

Akima · « **Reply #49 on:** 13 Dec 2012, 00:13 »

Quote from: Soulsynger on 12 Dec 2012, 23:15

Gordon: "I've ... seen things you people wouldn't believe. Hm... attack ships on fire off the shoulder of orion. I watched sea beams ... glitter in the dark near the Terhauser Gate. ... all those... moments will be lost ... in time. Like... tears ... in the rain. *long pause, heartfelt music* Time ... to die."

That suggestion is just batty.

THESE FORUMS NOW CLOSED (read only)

Author Topic: QC Captions Vol. 92 (Read 27167 times)