I don't take offense at all, I feel the same way. When I sing with/for the choir, I do try to blend in and sound like everyone else because that's the nature of a choir, particularly one in the Anglican choral tradition. But when I sing my own stuff, usually folk music, I use the technique I've been taught to sing in my own way, just better - I have more control over the sound, I have better breath control and I can project more. Surely there must be singing teachers somewhere near you? I'm not saying you have to have lessons, by any means, just that if you want to learn how to be more in control of the sound you produce, it's useful to have some tips.