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[celticgeek]

Wil:  I also own several capes.
Bar owner:  You're hired.  Wear a cape tonight for work.

[MillionDollar Belt Sander]

WIL:   Wait, hired?
Bar Owner:   Yesss, it's the little hatssss you sseee... yes... the hatssss...

[Skewbrow]

Wil: "... beer, lager, ale. What a tangled web we weave for sale."
Bar owner: "Poetry on tap is fine here, welcome even. But no luscious fruit similes when dealing with female customers."

[Border Reiver]

Wil:  "So, these taps all lead to the same keg?"

Bar owner:  "Meh, most of our clients can't tell Old Milwaukee from Fin du Monde.  It's cheaper this way and that also means someone's going to need a raise."

[Sidhekin]

Wil: Butts?
B.O.: Butts.

[cesium133]

Wil: Er, sorry, I'm not particularly inspired to ode you.
Bar Owner: I'll add five dollars to your paycheck for every five-dollar adjective you use.

Well she is now, of course, but Penelope Gaines was actually the original PG, long before we met Marten and Pintsize. But she was never the girl we know as Penelope, who is in fact a depowered clone of the original PG; created after an accident with a radioactive pizza oven and a lump of Calzonite left PG's uniform fused to her skin and impossible to remove, making her secret identity impossible to maintain. Our Penelope was decanted with a full set of memories of the civilian life of PG and so she truly believes she is Penelope Gaines and has no idea that she has anything to do with Pizza Girl, beyond a vague resemblance. Of course, since the original PG was killed and Hannelore took over, she really is just Penelope.

Hmm... putting this all together, perhaps Sara left Coffee of Doom to become Pizza Girl, then as Pizza Girl was eaten by an allosaurus. A new Pizza Girl took over in her place, whose clone became Penelope Gaines. The new Pizza Girl was killed, and then Hannelore took over. Eventually, Hannelore will be killed by her clone, and then another blonde girl will take over as Pizza Girl (perhaps Dora will stop dyeing her hair again and take over), thus continuing the line of succession of Pizza Girl.

[DSL]

WIL: "You know, some of the people who work here have unusual names. For example, Who's tending the bar, What's waiting on tables and I Don't Know is ... "
BAR OWNER: "You're fired."

[Is it cold in here?]

Wil: "I say, have you any Grey Poupon?"
Bartender: "Right there, shelf behind you."

[WAYF]

Wil: I'm a four-time Champion of the Awkward Zone. And yourself?

Bartender: Ooh, you're good kid. Real good. But have you ever defeated the Awkward Zone in a church?

[Thrudd]

Wil: ....millionaire.  I own a mansion and a yacht.
Bartender: Again!

[DSL]

WIL: "C'mon Professor. Go, Go!"
BARTENDER FATE: "Relax. This time I'm going to win it my way. Push the button, Max!"

[PintsizeForPresident]

WIL (EJACULATING): I say Holmes, I think I solved it! Miss Scarlett killed Hef in the Jacuzzi with the Candlestick.
BARTENDER: My dear Watson, have you been playing Adult Cluedo in the Mansion again?

[WAYF]

Thank goodness that IICIH's signature is nearby, so that I can fully appreciate the joke there.

[PintsizeForPresident]

Thank goodness that IICIH's signature is nearby, so that I can fully appreciate the joke there.

I learned from the British quiz show QI that Watson had a tendency to ejaculate (meaning "to exclaim"), but apparently that isn't as commonly known amongst English speakers as I assumed. Without that particular reference my entry may seem particularly bizarre.

[iduguphergrave]

And the FIFTH panel of the week. You guys are awesome 

[pwhodges]

I learned from the British quiz show QI that Watson had a tendency to ejaculate (meaning "to exclaim"), but apparently that isn't as commonly known amongst English speakers as I assumed.

It's not been a current usage in my lifetime, so, no.

Of course, from my childhood I was obviously familiar with it from books (Conan Doyle's, indeed, among others).

[celticgeek]

Hanners:  That drawing on the blackboard scares me.

Dora:  Even more than Faye does, right now?

[cesium133]

Hanners: I accidentally replaced Faye with a broken robot from my dad's lab.
Dora: As long as it can make a latte, it's close enough.

[DSL]

HANNERS: "I was staring at my two fingertips together and all of a sudden it looked like there was a third finger just floating in the air between them."
DORA: "Oh god, you didn't show Faye, did you? She breaks more easily than you'd think ..."

[Border Reiver]

Hanners:  "Dora, can you please stop that?"

Dora:  "Faye you know the rules - No boyfriends behind the counter.  And put some pants on."

[Carl-E]

Dora: "What did you do to her?" 
Hanners: "It...it's just a little virus I isolated..."

Faye: "BRAAAAIIIINNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSS............

[Is it cold in here?]

Dora: "Sorry, Hannelore. As the new person, you're taking over cleaning the customer bathroom from Faye, unless you pass the test of putting your fingers together."
Hannelore: "But I'm trying really hard!"

[DSL]

DORA: "Don't look at it, Hanners! Don't look at it!"
HANNERS: "I'm trying not to!"
FAYE: "It's beauuutifuuuu(face melts)"

[FunkyTuba]

Hanners:  "Dora, can you please stop that?"

Dora:  "Faye you know the rules - No boyfriends behind the counter.  And put some pants on."

Win.

[FunkyTuba]

Hanners: I accidentally replaced Faye with a broken robot from my dad's lab.
Dora: As long as it can make a latte, it's close enough.

Hanners: Maybe I shouldn't have made it look up sketchy yaoi sites for me and Marigold before going on shift.
Dora: Hopefully the corrupted registry files won't infect the espresso machine.

[WAYF]

Thank goodness that IICIH's signature is nearby, so that I can fully appreciate the joke there.

I learned from the British quiz show QI that Watson had a tendency to ejaculate (meaning "to exclaim"), but apparently that isn't as commonly known amongst English speakers as I assumed. Without that particular reference my entry may seem particularly bizarre.

To be clear, I know both meanings, and I'm sure many frustrated English teachers have taught their students the same thing if they needed to, but the word does have certain connotations...

I'd love to enter with an actual caption, but Border's caption is so good that I now look at the picture and I can't see them saying anything else. I almost forgot what the original line was.

[iduguphergrave]

Hanners:  "Dora, can you please stop that?"

Dora:  "Faye you know the rules - No boyfriends behind the counter.  And put some pants on."

Win.

Dang Angus got some skillz!

[MillionDollar Belt Sander]

Hanners:  "Dora, can you please stop that?"

Dora:  "Faye you know the rules - No boyfriends behind the counter.  And put some pants on."

Win.

Agreed.   

[DrBear]

HANNERS: So now we're both ... blonde?
DORA: But look at Faye - she's the one having more fun

(note to young people - it comes from a 60s hair coloring ad. look it up)

[Loki]

Hanners:  "Dora, can you please stop that?"

Dora:  "Faye you know the rules - No boyfriends behind the counter.  And put some pants on."

Win.

Dang Angus got some skillz!

Must be using the alphabet trick.

[Skewbrow]

Hanners:  "Dora, can you please stop that?"

Dora:  "Faye you know the rules - No boyfriends behind the counter.  And put some pants on."

Win.

Dang Angus got some skillz!

Must be using the alphabet trick.

Since Faye is not too fond of the alphabet trick, I doubt Angus could render her catatonic with that alone.

Anyway, conceding this round to Border Reiver.