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Author Topic: politically incorrect jokes  (Read 16897 times)

Zingoleb

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politically incorrect jokes
« on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:11 »

abraham lincoln was never president
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #1 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:18 »

winston churchill was actually incredibly underweight, but appeared large because of all the snakes he hid under his coat. when threatened by a political opponent he'd rip his coat off and rain snakes upon them
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #2 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:22 »

jfk was actually a timelord and has been every single president since
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Pilchard123

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #3 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:27 »


I like the second one though.
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #4 on: 27 Jan 2013, 13:46 »

dr. evil was actually closely patterned after mahatma gandhi's alter ego
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Carl-E

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #5 on: 27 Jan 2013, 14:04 »

FDR could walk fine, he was going for the sympathy vote. 
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ackblom12

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #6 on: 27 Jan 2013, 14:08 »

Why did the politicians cross the road?

To turn themselves in to law enforcement for embezzling of funds and misleading the public.
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #7 on: 27 Jan 2013, 14:15 »

mitt romney actually mailed in his vote for vermin supreme
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #8 on: 27 Jan 2013, 15:04 »

Scott Walker is actually a decent human being who cares for people.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #9 on: 27 Jan 2013, 15:52 »

The NRA Board is actually a bunch peace loving Hippies.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #10 on: 27 Jan 2013, 16:36 »

FOX is a reliable and unbiased source of news presented by a diverse and qualified team of individuals.
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #11 on: 27 Jan 2013, 18:19 »

Sarah Palin really is a caring, devoted wife who enjoys occasional caribou hunts.
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #12 on: 27 Jan 2013, 18:27 »

(can this thread maybe not just turn into sarcastic snipes at politicians you don't like?)
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #13 on: 27 Jan 2013, 19:31 »

FDR could walk fine, he was going for the sympathy vote.

well, up to a point anyway. double irony.

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #14 on: 27 Jan 2013, 19:32 »

Rush Limbaugh doesn't actually believe anything he says, he just sells what sells.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #15 on: 27 Jan 2013, 20:34 »

William Howard Taft was famous for swinging naked from chandeliers at state functions.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #16 on: 27 Jan 2013, 20:39 »

Scott Brown only farts on Tuesdays, and has an impressive collection of Scott Baio vinyls.

(I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do here, except make up things about politicians.  So that's what I do?)
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #17 on: 28 Jan 2013, 00:40 »

If I've figured out Unicorn's rules for the thread, it has to involve politicians, be incorrect, and be funny. Am I right?

KISS played at George W. Bush's Bar Mitzvah.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #18 on: 28 Jan 2013, 03:56 »

George W. Bush's Bar Mitzvah was just a front to sell City Wok to China.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #19 on: 28 Jan 2013, 05:15 »

jfk was actually a timelord and has been every single president since

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K7y2xPucnAo&list=UUurvu3r_s-yq-6f9WRs4TKA&index=14

j-j-j-j-jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay ef kaaaay
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Carl-E

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #20 on: 28 Jan 2013, 05:20 »

Obama had a white-house showing of Lincoln.  He invited several other politicians. 


Not a single republican showed up...



Unfortunately, that one's true. 
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Pilchard123

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #21 on: 28 Jan 2013, 10:35 »

So is the game here to think of the best incorrect political joke, or is it to work out what the game is?
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #22 on: 28 Jan 2013, 10:46 »

After losing to Sub Zero in Mortal Kombat, Baraka changed his name to Barack and attended law school, eventually becoming president of the United States
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #23 on: 28 Jan 2013, 12:53 »

After years of trying to raise Atlantis from the ocean, Margaret Thatcher's plans to revive the British Empire once again were thwarted once she realised she was trying to annex Norway.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #24 on: 28 Jan 2013, 13:48 »

Margaret Thatcher is pursuing a second career as a country western singer.
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #25 on: 28 Jan 2013, 14:30 »

Gerald Ford actually played football - and was pretty good at it, too.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #26 on: 28 Jan 2013, 14:47 »

That's neither political nor incorrect. 



Not sure if it's a joke, though...
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #27 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:14 »

I was wondering if someone would get it. (In reality, he was drafted by an NFL team - which one I don't recall)
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Patrick

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #28 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:18 »

Bill Clinton's penis has not been anywhere that might be considered scandalous in politics
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #29 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:31 »

George Washington had like, thirty goddamn dicks
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #30 on: 28 Jan 2013, 17:50 »

The whole cherry pie thing? George thought it unwarranted.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #31 on: 28 Jan 2013, 19:13 »

Martin van Buren was the original Marlboro Man.
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Bluesummers

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #32 on: 28 Jan 2013, 19:34 »

Theodore Roosevelt was actually an oil tycoon, and his plans to lay waste to the great northwest were thwarted when a photographer sold his "hunting" photos to an environmentalist ad agency.
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Kugai

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #33 on: 28 Jan 2013, 21:06 »

Stevie Wonder has perfect 20/20 vision
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James The Kugai 

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #34 on: 28 Jan 2013, 22:04 »

Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis were accomplished break dancers.
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #35 on: 29 Jan 2013, 04:50 »

Stonewall Jackson was actually the name of a landscaping company based in Marietta, Georgia.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #36 on: 29 Jan 2013, 09:31 »

Vladimir Putin is an accomplished Judo and Karate master, and even wrote a book about the sport.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #37 on: 29 Jan 2013, 10:10 »

Vladimir Putin is a flatulist.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #38 on: 29 Jan 2013, 10:23 »

Vladimir Putin invented Poutine on a diplomatic visit to Canada, naming it after a bastardised French spelling of his name.

(Guess where I stole that joke from?)
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #39 on: 29 Jan 2013, 11:34 »

Immanuel Kant plagiarized his work from the deep philosophical analyses done by Sarah Palin.
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Pilchard123

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #40 on: 29 Jan 2013, 11:57 »

You Kant be serious.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #41 on: 29 Jan 2013, 12:32 »

That's not remotely Hum(e)-orous.

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #42 on: 29 Jan 2013, 12:40 »

Kim Jong Il is actually a rapper.
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #43 on: 29 Jan 2013, 12:41 »

That's not remotely Hum(e)-orous.

Locke the doors! Here we go again.
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Zingoleb

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #44 on: 29 Jan 2013, 13:10 »

genghis khan made cracking puns a crime to which the only recourse is death and i swear to god i will carry out his legacy
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #45 on: 29 Jan 2013, 13:48 »

Kim Jong Il is actually a rapper.

...named PSY.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #46 on: 29 Jan 2013, 14:21 »

Locke the doors! Here we go again.

Lucky I know A. lockSmith
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jwhouk

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #47 on: 29 Jan 2013, 18:09 »

Sir Francis Bacon actually preferred chicken.
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"Character is what you are in the Dark." - D.L. Moody
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CrowFairy

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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #48 on: 29 Jan 2013, 19:26 »

William McKinley only wanted Hawaii so he could have those drinks in coconuts whenever he wanted.

Teddy Roosevelt made the Panama Canal by himself with his bare hands.

Incidental fact about myself and Teddy Roosevelt:
(click to show/hide)
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Re: politically incorrect jokes
« Reply #49 on: 29 Jan 2013, 19:55 »

Newt Gingrich's next two weddings will be Betazoid style.
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