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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 224973 times)

chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #650 on: 14 Mar 2015, 06:58 »

I'm having trouble with this topic so my approach is to just flap about and wing it until something takes off.

Aww, don't worry, it's not like anyone's gonna start mockingbird you! It'll be owl right!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #651 on: 14 Mar 2015, 10:06 »

From @SwiftOnSecurity (an infosec twitter account that's a parody of Taylor Swift at the same time): https://twitter.com/swiftonsecurity/status/576657787553509376

Quote
Why did Google Car switch from MD5 to SHA512?

They wanted to reduce collisions.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #652 on: 14 Mar 2015, 14:01 »

Is that something to crow about?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #653 on: 14 Mar 2015, 18:44 »

Is that something to crow about?

Don't be robin people of the pleasure of punning, now
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #654 on: 14 Mar 2015, 19:09 »

There's no worries about that.  People will just do moa
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #655 on: 14 Mar 2015, 19:47 »

I was going to make a Larry Bird pun, but I wondered if that'd be a cardinal sin.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #656 on: 14 Mar 2015, 19:52 »

I was going to make a Larry Bird pun, but I wondered if that'd be a cardinal sin.

If changing the subject of a string of puns were an offense, I'd have been kicked off this thread several times. Seagull, kiwi can handle it.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #657 on: 14 Mar 2015, 19:54 »

Quit raven, you tit.
I can hardly swallow these puns.
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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #658 on: 14 Mar 2015, 20:17 »

Quit raven, you tit.
I can hardly swallow these puns.

Sorry, can't hear your meanness over the sound of my own hummingbird. Auk away while you can, I've been taking birding trips to the coast with my dad since I was a toddler. Don't make me start waxwing poetic on how many types of birds exist; things could get hawkward. (Please don't, in fact, auk away, I'm having fun)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #659 on: 14 Mar 2015, 20:29 »

Wren will it end?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #660 on: 14 Mar 2015, 20:33 »

Wren will it end?

 I could stop at anyŚ Oh wait, like PELICAN!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #661 on: 14 Mar 2015, 20:48 »

I'm not storking you, but owl follow you henywhere.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #662 on: 14 Mar 2015, 20:53 »

I'm not storking you, but owl follow you henywhere.

Glad to hear you're not CHICKEN!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #663 on: 14 Mar 2015, 21:07 »

That's a fowl call.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #664 on: 14 Mar 2015, 21:20 »

Don't play the henpecked husband here. Heron the forums, everything within human decency is fair game!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #665 on: 14 Mar 2015, 21:21 »

For real though, don't be too unpheasant.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #666 on: 14 Mar 2015, 21:55 »

(wonders if the chicks dig puns)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #667 on: 14 Mar 2015, 23:35 »

As long as it's all for a lark and you don't act like a cock.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #668 on: 15 Mar 2015, 03:18 »

Yeah, don't get all emu-tional about it, you might egret it.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #669 on: 15 Mar 2015, 04:51 »

You could try puffin your chest out.
But just remember that toucan play at that game.
Their might be some competition from another cockatoo.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #670 on: 15 Mar 2015, 04:56 »

By the way, just as an aside, here's an over dose of puns with an Australian theme (so most of them will be meaningless to non Australians.)
It's also from the early 80s so the humour is a bit ... Different.


Edit: it's been censored too so some really good puns aren't audible. :(
« Last Edit: 15 Mar 2015, 05:02 by looktall »
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #671 on: 15 Mar 2015, 12:38 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #672 on: 15 Mar 2015, 13:28 »

You could try puffin your chest out.
But just remember that toucan play at that game.
Their might be some competition from another cockatoo.

This is good advice. Parrot it everytime you feel unsure. You could also try holding your breath until you turn purple martin. That gets people concerned about you, and the more people looking after you, the better. You'll pouledeau* through

*kind of duck found in louisiana
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #673 on: 15 Mar 2015, 13:36 »

As long as you pullet together.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #674 on: 15 Mar 2015, 14:04 »

I can never do that. I'm to chicken.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #675 on: 15 Mar 2015, 14:38 »

I can never do that. I'm to chicken.

Aww, did some Ruddy Turnstone tease you too much? Let me at 'im, I'll Snipe that sonuvabitch!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #676 on: 15 Mar 2015, 18:56 »

I think he's on the other side of the road.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #677 on: 15 Mar 2015, 20:15 »

You think that matters? I'l Scaup* that motherhugger

*another duck found in Louisiana. Care to guess which specific coast my dad liked to visit?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #678 on: 15 Mar 2015, 20:44 »

chaospersonified seems to be a bit of a quackpot.

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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #679 on: 15 Mar 2015, 20:50 »

chaospersonified seems to be a bit of a quackpot.

I am simply a pun enthusiast, you Yellow-billed Loon, what variety of slate-colored junco is this nonsense! I know birds, motherhugger; my own father is in the louisiana state university records of ornithology as the first to see a certain hummingbird this far east!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #680 on: 15 Mar 2015, 20:59 »

In amother note, I shiuld stop posting here so much*. The puns are overflowing to regular life, and they're even worse. Like, I'll be talking smart- something about the political climate or about the location of purple martins given the time of year, and then BOOM, puns. Really makes me feel like an American Coot.

*i will never stop making pubs
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #681 on: 15 Mar 2015, 21:10 »

a poorly timed pun can make someone appear to be a right goose.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #682 on: 15 Mar 2015, 21:59 »


*i will never stop making pubs


Drinks all round then

Mine's a Guinniss.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #683 on: 15 Mar 2015, 23:14 »

ooh. puns about booze, might as well throw some philosophy into the mix as well.

Quote
Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Schopenhauer and Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.

There's nothing Nietzsche couldn't teach ya'
'Bout the raising of the wrist.
SOCRATES, HIMSELF, WAS PERMANENTLY PISSED...

John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle,
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And Rene Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink, therefore I am"
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed;
A lovely little thinker but a bugger when he's pissed!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #684 on: 16 Mar 2015, 05:38 »

Don't keep these things bottled up, right? If the people around you don't appreciate your terrible puns, make them beer!

As for the typo, I suppose it's only right that I can blame it on the alcohol.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #685 on: 16 Mar 2015, 05:45 »

From an article I was reading:

Quote
"Friday is payday. Saturday is play day. Sunday is pray day. We're trying to make Monday the 'all health breaks loose' day," said Sid Lerner, a former advertising executive who founded the Monday Campaigns.
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chaospersonified

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #686 on: 16 Mar 2015, 08:55 »

Sonnet, let me explain the difference between a pun and a poem. Stanza on your own two feet, yo.

They were clever poems, I'll give them that. That's my honest opinion, it's not just a line
« Last Edit: 16 Mar 2015, 09:12 by chaospersonified »
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #687 on: 16 Mar 2015, 10:19 »

Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #688 on: 16 Mar 2015, 10:42 »

Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?

I'll warn you now, keep Shakespeare off the shelf; he's kinda reckless with the spear. He'll probably knock the whole thing oeuvre
« Last Edit: 16 Mar 2015, 11:40 by chaospersonified »
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #689 on: 16 Mar 2015, 11:45 »

Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?
Be careful when reading books about undercooked meat. They're E-collated.

The NFL had an electronic football game a few months ago, and to distinguish it from next year's game they're putting letters after the name. It was the E-Bowl A.

a poorly timed pun can make someone appear to be a right goose.
Just so long as you didn't look up when they flu over.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #690 on: 16 Mar 2015, 12:26 »

Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?
Be careful when reading books about undercooked meat. They're E-collated.

The NFL had an electronic football game a few months ago, and to distinguish it from next year's game they're putting letters after the name. It was the E-Bowl A.

a poorly timed pun can make someone appear to be a right goose.
Just so long as you didn't look up when they flu over.
Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?

I'll warn you now, keep Shakespeare off the shelf; he's kinda reckless with the spear. He'll probably knock the whole thing oeuvre

A plague on both your houses.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #691 on: 16 Mar 2015, 12:29 »

Would a bookshelf of poetry be a folio outbreak?
Be careful when reading books about undercooked meat. They're E-collated.

The NFL had an electronic football game a few months ago, and to distinguish it from next year's game they're putting letters after the name. It was the E-Bowl A.

a poorly timed pun can make someone appear to be a right goose.
Just so long as you didn't look up when they flu over.

Medical puns now, okay. Stroke of luck, I've got a few. Some pretty hearty ones, even.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #692 on: 16 Mar 2015, 13:48 »

Now you're just trying to doctor the Thread.
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James The Kugai 

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #693 on: 16 Mar 2015, 13:51 »

Now you're just trying to doctor the Thread.

Is the treatment working?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #694 on: 16 Mar 2015, 13:52 »

The puns have their cold grippe on this thread.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #695 on: 16 Mar 2015, 13:55 »

The puns have their cold grippe on this thread.

Just have some patients
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #696 on: 16 Mar 2015, 13:57 »

Shall we set up some Wards?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #697 on: 16 Mar 2015, 13:58 »

Perhaps we should ping Guy Fieri to this thread to examine for conjunctivitis.  :roll:
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #698 on: 16 Mar 2015, 13:58 »

Shall we set up some Wards?

If you think it would help nurse the situation
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #699 on: 16 Mar 2015, 15:18 »

Good to see these puns are coming in a nice orderly fashion.
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