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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 224989 times)

Method of Madness

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1450 on: 12 Nov 2015, 17:37 »



:clairedoge:
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1451 on: 13 Nov 2015, 00:05 »

I wonder if I should apply for a moderator position at an Indian restaurant.

My wife points out that an Indian restaurant is a chaat room.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1452 on: 13 Nov 2015, 03:29 »

I'll be having naan of that.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1453 on: 13 Nov 2015, 12:01 »

You'll have to curry favour with the owner  :mrgreen:
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1454 on: 13 Nov 2015, 14:28 »

Just be careful of food poisoning. You wouldn't want to be stuck vin da loo.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1455 on: 13 Nov 2015, 17:29 »

You might need keema therapy for that.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1456 on: 15 Nov 2015, 21:50 »

Not an idli solution, seems like overkill for getting stuck in the ladoo.
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A "buttload" is an actual measurement, next time someone tells you that they need a buttload of something, tell them 126 gallons might be a bit too much.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1457 on: 16 Nov 2015, 05:23 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1458 on: 16 Nov 2015, 11:21 »

It only works when you add Bacon.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1459 on: 16 Nov 2015, 15:33 »

That's true with pretty much everything, including bacon.
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MR ARCHIVE-FU MADNESS
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Neko_Ali

Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1460 on: 16 Nov 2015, 16:09 »

mmm. Bacon wrapped bacon, fried in bacon grease, topped with crumbled bacon topping and bacon dressing...

I'll have the double bypass please, doctor.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1461 on: 16 Nov 2015, 19:33 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1462 on: 26 Nov 2015, 12:53 »

From a friend of mine:

Quote
I can't wait to get my portion of officially nuked turkey from russia
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1463 on: 27 Nov 2015, 14:17 »

Working on a farm is fun until the cows come home, but I'd be lying if I said it grows on you.

Today, I made trenches and buried branches to help support a tractor at a later date. I dug it, wouldn't ditch the chance to do it again, but I don't know if it'll stick around too long.

I will be paid, but I'm not making fat stacks, exactly, though hay was involved.

We're growing blueberries there, if anyone wants to use that, or anything else I said here, as a jumping-off point for more punnery.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1464 on: 28 Nov 2015, 10:49 »

So basically you're just fielding some farm puns
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1465 on: 28 Nov 2015, 10:58 »

So basically you're just fielding some farm puns

And waiting to see what grows, yes.
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Neko_Ali

Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1466 on: 28 Nov 2015, 13:27 »

I know that you were sowing the seeds hoping for some farm puns, but would it go against the grain if someone posted other puns? Some just find them way to corny.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1467 on: 28 Nov 2015, 15:59 »

I know that you were sowing the seeds hoping for some farm puns, but would it go against the grain if someone posted other puns? Some just find them way to corny.

I was sowing seeds for any and all agricultural puns, really, no need to separate the wheat from the chaff here. I mentioned what specifically we were planting, because fruit puns are just juicy.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1468 on: 29 Nov 2015, 02:33 »

Hmm... Hard to till whether this board will sink so loam as to yield you some at puns.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1469 on: 29 Nov 2015, 14:17 »

You could always combine things for a rich harvest
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1470 on: 29 Nov 2015, 20:48 »

Such as? I'm talking veggies, you're talking combinations, together we're talking soup, and I'm all for it. I'm no chicken. There's gotta be some soup puns sloshing around in this old noodle, good enough to bowl you over.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1471 on: 29 Nov 2015, 22:44 »

Borscht!!!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1472 on: 30 Nov 2015, 04:30 »

Meh... That laksa certain something.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1473 on: 30 Nov 2015, 07:16 »

Borscht!!!

I'm trying to find the pun here. It's like you couldn't think of one so you were just like '...what's a kind of soup? BORSCHT!!!'

Perhaps you were russian? Or are you just feeling beet?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1474 on: 30 Nov 2015, 07:37 »

I suppose soup based puns was a bit specific. It's barley bouillon enough to float anyway. I roux the day I tried to go there. Miso sorry to get us into this stew, and also that I spoke brief Jar-Jar Binks for the sake of a weak pun. Ramen hot water now, I think, and I'm struggling to think of a new pun riff. Pho-ck.

It... It seems that CHEESE soups are a thing, would that brie cheddar?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1475 on: 30 Nov 2015, 09:35 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1476 on: 30 Nov 2015, 12:38 »

I suppose soup based puns was a bit specific. It's barley bouillon enough to float anyway. I roux the day I tried to go there. Miso sorry to get us into this stew, and also that I spoke brief Jar-Jar Binks for the sake of a weak pun. Ramen hot water now, I think, and I'm struggling to think of a new pun riff. Pho-ck.

It... It seems that CHEESE soups are a thing, would that brie cheddar?

Edam, that would be Tasty
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1477 on: 30 Nov 2015, 20:04 »

I suppose soup based puns was a bit specific. It's barley bouillon enough to float anyway. I roux the day I tried to go there. Miso sorry to get us into this stew, and also that I spoke brief Jar-Jar Binks for the sake of a weak pun. Ramen hot water now, I think, and I'm struggling to think of a new pun riff. Pho-ck.

It... It seems that CHEESE soups are a thing, would that brie cheddar?

Edam, that would be Tasty

Gouda. I can put in the work, try and Kraft a Single pun, but I'm happier just making up many.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1478 on: 01 Dec 2015, 13:24 »

While some of us have the capacity to Bries through them given the right circumstances.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1479 on: 01 Dec 2015, 16:17 »

"I'm getting tired of all these puns."

*goes and watches TV*

"Eh, nothing good on except reruns of The Muensters."
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1480 on: 02 Dec 2015, 11:55 »

That's Vintage television!
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1481 on: 02 Dec 2015, 13:06 »

Maybe we should leave these puns about hardened dairy products provolone? I'm trying to think of more, coming up with Colby Jack squat. I Camembert this failure, it eats away at my spirit.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1482 on: 02 Dec 2015, 14:42 »

We could make iT ALBOT muppets maybe? like kermit the froG OR GONZO, LAtino king prawn PEPE, BERT or maybe BABYBEL bear?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1483 on: 02 Dec 2015, 19:12 »

There's a Wisconsin joke somewhere in there, but I'd rather not badger anyone about it.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1484 on: 02 Dec 2015, 19:50 »

There's a Wisconsin joke somewhere in there, but I'd rather not badger anyone about it.

Oh honey, badger on, nobody gives a fuck.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1485 on: 03 Dec 2015, 12:36 »

Yeah, Gopher broke
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1486 on: 03 Dec 2015, 17:18 »

Don't (Saint) Croix me, Kiwi Breath...
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1487 on: 04 Dec 2015, 12:56 »

Did you hear about the French monk who swallowed a crucifix?
(click to show/hide)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1488 on: 05 Dec 2015, 11:55 »

We all have our Croix to bear
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1489 on: 05 Dec 2015, 12:01 »

Don't (Saint) Croix me, Kiwi Breath...
Steven's* got a good Point. We shouldn't be Racine to make Wisconsin puns.

Oh, look it's Eau Claire:  :cry: :claireface:

*Yeah, well don't call me Shirley.
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Method of Madness

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1490 on: 06 Dec 2015, 15:20 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1491 on: 07 Dec 2015, 20:39 »

How did the Australians get to Arrakis?

They started a spice program.

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1492 on: 07 Dec 2015, 22:59 »

That is a wildly innacurate representation of pur accent, maate.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1493 on: 07 Dec 2015, 23:18 »

Now we're just getting catty
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1494 on: 14 Dec 2015, 15:11 »

Now we're just getting catty

You ain't kitten.

We can't well kick-start the thread from a typo, though, petty as it would be, so I'm going to try and tell a tale I heard from a friend I made recently.


See, I took a theatre appreciation course, and I auditioned for a part in A Christmas Carol, because auditions gave +5 to your final grade and getting cast gave +50. I got cast, so I aced the shit out of the course, and also found out that a) I fucking love theatre, and b) there's some fascinating folk in little theatre!

The professor of the class for example, Layne. Layne's not got a degree in teaching, he only got the job because of his past experience as an actor, meaning they weren't about to pass up the offer from a former Broadway performer.

He's a pretty cool guy, full of stories about his time in New York, about the people he met. In addition to the actors, he met a bunch of the orchestra folk, and the shenanigans they could get up to while the actors were on-stage, or, most memorably, during long symphonic performances.

The story starts with his roommate at the time, played the double bass, not in the New York Philharmonic, but in a less-well-known, less-well-paying equivalent. The production was of Beethoven's ninth, and the thing about the bass part of that particular piece, is that there's about 20 minutes, right near the end, where they don't do a dang thing, they're meant to just sit there and look pretty, which they would have done was it the Philharmonic. However, the pay wasn't that good, they weren't doing that, so one night, they hit a timer so they knew when to get back and sneaked away. They ducked out of the performance venue, into an alley where they'd set aside a cooler for this exact purpose.

They had a drink, then another, and then a few more.

The buzzer went off, they had to rush back inside, but they'd had a bit much to drink!

Layne's roommate grins at his fellow player's panic, slurs at them, "Don't worry, I bought us some time! I made a knot out of the sheet music!"

This did not make things any better.

It was the bottom of the Ninth, the score was tied, and the bassists were loaded.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1495 on: 14 Dec 2015, 15:15 »

That turned from truth to pun only with after I invented a roommate. I am prepared to pun about theatre, performing arts, musicals and drama alike. Don't play, come at me, I'm not blocking anyone from stepping to me.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1496 on: 15 Dec 2015, 03:18 »

(wonders if chaospersonified has an encore post lined up)
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1497 on: 15 Dec 2015, 13:44 »

How did the Australians get to Arrakis? They started a spice program.
It was started by bogans, clearly.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1498 on: 15 Dec 2015, 21:14 »

(wonders if chaospersonified has an encore post lined up)

See, normally I would, but I'm just not sure this is the platform. Punning is best and most prolific when created as part of a dialogue, so why would I want to just go solo?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1499 on: 17 Dec 2015, 15:29 »

Breaking News: Cow sets fire to a cannabis field.

Not to be blunt, or make light of the situation, but the steaks have never been higher.
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