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Author Topic: Random Puns  (Read 346971 times)

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1900 on: 24 Aug 2019, 09:51 »

What do you call someone who studies looped Egyptian crosses?
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LTK

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1901 on: 24 Aug 2019, 10:12 »

An ankheologist?
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I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1902 on: 01 Sep 2019, 15:17 »

What do you call the press secretary for a bicycle club?

The spokesperson.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1903 on: 01 Sep 2019, 16:41 »

Okay, that one deserves one  :claireface:
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1904 on: 01 Sep 2019, 19:40 »

I disagree, it was awful and he should pedal his wares elsewhere.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1905 on: 03 Sep 2019, 03:52 »

Come on, let's not derail this thread...
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1906 on: 03 Sep 2019, 05:07 »

I think it would be recumbent to not continue on this course.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1907 on: 03 Sep 2019, 05:45 »

In tandem with our responsibility to not continue with this course, we should consider that nobody would pay a penny or a farthing to listen to these puns.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1908 on: 03 Sep 2019, 06:47 »

And so the vicious cycle continues. . . .
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1909 on: 03 Sep 2019, 17:36 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1910 on: 03 Sep 2019, 17:54 »

You all are just freewheeling with these puns. Put a fork in it, seriously.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1911 on: 03 Sep 2019, 20:39 »

Sorry, you're just saddled with us
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1912 on: 04 Sep 2019, 02:13 »

I think we need to change gears a bit, these are all just starting to chain together.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1913 on: 04 Sep 2019, 11:42 »

I don't see the link, there.
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cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1914 on: 04 Sep 2019, 12:07 »

This is going downhill from here, unless you do something inchainous
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1915 on: 04 Sep 2019, 12:56 »

You all think you're a bunch of dynamos, pumping yourselves up like this, don't you.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1916 on: 04 Sep 2019, 20:06 »

You’re just recycling jokes now.

This is a bit meta.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1917 on: 04 Sep 2019, 20:27 »

How shocking, I don't think I can absorb all this at once, I'm in such suspension.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1918 on: 04 Sep 2019, 20:28 »

Now, let's not go off the handlebars...
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1919 on: 04 Sep 2019, 22:34 »

Q: What do you call the motors that drive power looms?

A: Warp engines.
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cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1920 on: 05 Sep 2019, 07:06 »

would cubed beef be cow-a-dice?
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1921 on: 06 Sep 2019, 02:37 »

Not to mince words with you, but yes.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1922 on: 06 Sep 2019, 05:59 »

What kind of animal do you get sausage from?
Groundhog.
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RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1923 on: 06 Sep 2019, 07:03 »

Way to raise the steaks.
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TheEvilDog

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1924 on: 06 Sep 2019, 09:09 »

These meat puns aren't very cleaver.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1925 on: 06 Sep 2019, 17:19 »

I'll admit, they're a bit lean on the imagination. No need to shank us about it though mate.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1926 on: 06 Sep 2019, 17:23 »

This bloody thread.  :roll:
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Yet the lies of Melkor, the mighty and the accursed, Morgoth Bauglir, the Power of Terror and of Hate, sowed in the hearts of Elves and Men are a seed that does not die and cannot be destroyed; and ever and anon it sprouts anew, and will bear dark fruit even unto the latest days. (Silmarillion 255)

TheEvilDog

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1927 on: 06 Sep 2019, 17:24 »

You know, I'm sure I have another meat pun, but I'm certain I'd butcher it.
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TheEvilDog

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1928 on: 06 Sep 2019, 17:25 »

This bloody thread.  :roll:

Hey, a good meat pun is a rare medium well done.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1929 on: 06 Sep 2019, 18:03 »

Fuck, ok, you win. No bones about it.
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cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1930 on: 07 Sep 2019, 09:04 »

This bloody thread.  :roll:

Hey, a good meat pun is a rare medium well done.

this reminds me of a bad joke:
Quote
Confucius says:
It's good for girl to meet boy in park.
but it's better for boy to park meat in girl.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1931 on: 08 Sep 2019, 23:47 »

Noseguard is a dangerous anagram.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1932 on: 22 Sep 2019, 16:20 »

Considering how many NPCs and locations I've stolen from Discworld for the first major city that my players encounter, even my own ideas have taken a turn for the pune:
The bar that the city guard in the slums drinks at is called "The Bent Copper", the local purveyor of stolen goods runs a shop called "The Good Neighbour", and the advice columnist in the local paper (UK forumites will get this one immediately) is a priestess of the goddess of pain.
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1933 on: 30 Sep 2019, 08:16 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1934 on: 07 Oct 2019, 12:24 »

I think a great name for a minor or peewee hockey team is the "Chilly Dogs"

A play on words of Chili Dogs and being cold (chilly)
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You see, there are still faint glimmers of civilization left in this barbaric slaughterhouse that was once known as humanity. Indeed that's what we provide in our own modest, humble, insignificant... oh, fuck it. - M. Gustave

LeeC

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1935 on: 15 Oct 2019, 11:00 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1936 on: 22 Oct 2019, 07:21 »

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1937 on: 28 Dec 2019, 07:25 »

Quote from: Tumblr user mistressdratha:
“you get a potion and the alchemist tells you ‘this potion will cure you’ and you're like 'hell yeah health potion’ and you drink it and turn into salami”
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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1938 on: 30 Jan 2020, 11:05 »

I went to the zoo and they had an empty cage that only contained a baguette. It was bread in captivity.
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RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1939 on: 01 Feb 2020, 03:14 »

Don't have to be so rye about it mate.
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cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1940 on: 01 Feb 2020, 03:20 »

Don't have to be so rye about it mate.

I don't get that one.
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RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1941 on: 01 Feb 2020, 03:55 »

Wry.
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Is it cold in here?

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1942 on: 01 Feb 2020, 10:43 »

I'm sure it felt kneaded.
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RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1943 on: 01 Feb 2020, 21:40 »

You can always expect someone to rise to the occasion.
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cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1944 on: 02 Feb 2020, 06:20 »

Wry.

Thank you.
I guess this is one of the moments where my non-native-speaker-ness shows
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RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1945 on: 02 Feb 2020, 21:27 »

Eh, it's not really a word in common usage these days either I think, so it's not like you'd have heard it regularly enough to make the leap probably.
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Pilchard123

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1946 on: 05 Feb 2020, 12:51 »

I went to a zoo and they only had one animal. It was a Shih Tzu.
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RedWolf4

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1947 on: 05 Feb 2020, 14:31 »

That's ruff buddy.
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hedgie

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1948 on: 05 Feb 2020, 14:56 »

I went to a zoo and they only had one animal. It was a Shih Tzu.

OT, but I've always wanted to breed Shih Tzus and Cocker Spaniels and sell the results as "shit-cocks".
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cybersmurf

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Re: Random Puns
« Reply #1949 on: 06 Feb 2020, 13:55 »

I went to a zoo and they only had one animal. It was a Shih Tzu.

OT, but I've always wanted to breed Shih Tzus and Cocker Spaniels and sell the results as "shit-cocks".

Sounds dirty. I mean, with legs as short as theirs, and the fur length, you'll have to clean them all the time.
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