Topic: Selfies at funerals (Read 9196 times)

~~mustang6172~~ · « **on:** 29 Oct 2013, 20:16 »

This is an actual thing. http://selfiesatfunerals.tumblr.com/

At what point do we agree the Internet has caused more harm than good?

Method of Madness · « **Reply #1 on:** 29 Oct 2013, 20:44 »

I'm the kind of guy that selfies at a funeral, can't understand what I mean? You soon will.

RedWolf4 · « **Reply #2 on:** 29 Oct 2013, 20:53 »

I see what you did there, you bastard. . .

Method of Madness · « **Reply #3 on:** 29 Oct 2013, 20:56 »

Quote from: RedWolf4 on 29 Oct 2013, 20:53

you magnificent bastard. . .

Fixed that for ya

Thrillho · « **Reply #4 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 05:49 »

Good name for a band.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #5 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 06:07 »

Seflies At Funerals?

Or "You Magnificent Bastard"?

Doesn't top my band "Supernova Star Forge"

ev4n · « **Reply #6 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 06:41 »

I think Gareth was saying "good name for a band" is a good name for a band? Or maybe he wishes he had said that.

Thrillho · « **Reply #7 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 09:20 »

Quote from: ev4n on 30 Oct 2013, 06:41

I think Gareth was saying "good name for a band" is a good name for a band? Or maybe he wishes he had said that.

All three of those suggested are good names for a band.

My brother wanted to start a band called Self-Titled Album, with a self-titled album and lead single.

That was Self-Titled Album with Self-Titled Album, the first single from their self-titled album, Self-Titled Album.

Method of Madness · « **Reply #8 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 09:35 »

See, I would've called the lead single "Lead Single". And never say it out loud, because when I have my first non-online interview months later, I'll pronounce it like the element, and everyone will realize they've been pronouncing it wrong.

lepetitfromage · « **Reply #9 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 11:48 »

I think one of the worst things about the whole website is that there are people who think it's acceptable to go to a funeral dressed in some of those outfits.

But I guess when we're critiquing "Selfies at Funerals" it's a given that all respect has flown out the window.

Kugai · « **Reply #10 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 12:50 »

LookingIn · « **Reply #11 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 14:48 »

Quote from: lepetitfromage on 30 Oct 2013, 11:48

I think one of the worst things about the whole website is that there are people who think it's acceptable to go to a funeral dressed in some of those outfits.

But I guess when we're critiquing "Selfies at Funerals" it's a given that all respect has flown out the window.

The 20-somethings I can understand but the teenagers on there baffle me- bad parents! Short, skintight miniskirts not acceptible for a funeral!

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #12 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 15:18 »

"But Moooooooooom, I can't go to Gamgam's funeral unless I look totes sexy, what if we bump into like, Thad?"

Lines · « **Reply #13 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 15:32 »

I hate "selfies" and I hate all of those people.

"ERMERGERD IM SO HAWT OH YEAH GRANDPA DIED SAD FACE!"

Welu · « **Reply #14 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 16:21 »

Disclaimer: My family may just be odd, to explain the next point.
I can understand family photos around a funeral, because they're one of the few occasions that will bring a lot of family that don't usually see each other into one place. Plus wakes do usually reach a point where happy memories of the person is discussed and the mood lightens a little. Although preferably they would be taken back at people's homes after the wake and funeral has ended.

Selfies with silly faces? Plus the one where the deceased is in the room? Wut. I have no idea how people think that's appropriate.

Quote from: LookingIn on 30 Oct 2013, 14:48

The 20-somethings I can understand but the teenagers on there baffle me- bad parents! Short, skintight miniskirts not acceptible for a funeral!

Since most of the funerals seem to be for grandparents, you could maybe understand the child of the person who died having their mind occupied.

bainidhe_dub · « **Reply #15 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 16:43 »

My grandma died when I was in 8th grade. At the funeral, I wore a too-short black skirt and a purple velvet t-shirt and suntan-color stockings, and probably open-toe black sandals with the chunky heel. In March. In Pennsylvania. Giving a little consideration that it was, I believe, 1999, those were the most appropriate clothes I had.

Welu · « **Reply #16 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 17:07 »

It's hard to know what's appropriate for funeral wear, because what's appropriate can change depending on how close you were to the person. It's possible these are their first funerals. Without any guidance other than knowing they should dress nice, it's easy to see why they go for similar things they might wear to a party or when they dress up for other occasions. That said I'm still surprised at the bright colours, although they probably have limited choice.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #17 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 19:58 »

This is one nice thing about being a dude. When you hit your middle teens buy a cheap suit. That should hold you over for a few years, when you hit 18, buy another, slightly nicer, cheap black suit. That'll hold you till you're ready to start job hunting, then you get a good black suit. Ideally that suit should last for almost all formal occasions till they bury you in it.

Metope · « **Reply #18 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 20:06 »

I actually had it easier than my brothers clothing-wise, since they kept growing out of everything, and even cheap suits are expensive to replace as often as they needed new ones. For me no one cared if the dress that hit me right below the knee at 14 reached me above the knee at 15. Too short trousers are pretty visible.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #19 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 20:13 »

Yeah growth spurts dependent there. Though Good Will helps. I had three or four Italian suits for a while there. $25 a pop and another $15 to get'em tailored up.

Metope · « **Reply #20 on:** 30 Oct 2013, 20:24 »

Sudden realisation that when I get home for Christmas, my 15 year old brother will finally be taller than me

Actually, when I was 15 I made my own ball gown, it was beautiful and I was really proud. I wore it for the Christmas ball at school, but when I was going to wear it the following year, my body had suddenly hit adult mode and it didn't fit anymore. If I had only waited one year with making it, it would have probably still fit.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #21 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 02:21 »

All these people are children. I don't know about you guys but I'm never surprised when children do something ill advised and stupid. Hopefully these kids will look back on these moments and cringe at how awful they were. Also these look like the kind of kids who don't own much black or muted clothes. So they best they can do is look "nice" or their best approximation of that.

But the whole selfie thing, I can kind of understand. I mean people have always been narcissistic shit bags. That's why art galleries are filled with self portraits. It's why rich people throughout time have commissioned artists to paint portraits of them, sitting for hours so they could have a flattering picture of themselves. Now anyone with a phone can do it in a second.

lepetitfromage · « **Reply #22 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 07:40 »

I can understand it....it's just painful to observe. I can't believe for a second that some of these kids don't have one black outfit. Or a pair of tights!

I wore crazy shit when I was a kid- alllllllll the time. (In fact, one of my favorite outfits included a pair of gold satin leopard print pants with roses on them, red patent leather wedges and a velvet bucket hat)

But it was ingrained from a young age that you wear black at a funeral- no questions asked. As I got older, I understood that other dark colors were acceptable, but yeah. You're not there to be the focus of attention.

Metope · « **Reply #23 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 07:50 »

A friend of mine's father passed away when she was 14, one of her friends at the time wore a mini skirt and a revealing fishnet-type black top to the funeral... She knew it was inappropriate and did it anyway, at 14+ you really should know better.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #24 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 07:57 »

14 year olds aren't necessarily paragons of consideration. I am always well prepared for funerals as all my clothes are black anyway.

Thrillho · « **Reply #25 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 08:42 »

Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 31 Oct 2013, 02:21

All these people are children. I don't know about you guys but I'm never surprised when children do something ill advised and stupid. Hopefully these kids will look back on these moments and cringe at how awful they were. Also these look like the kind of kids who don't own much black or muted clothes. So they best they can do is look "nice" or their best approximation of that.

I'm with you on that.

Barmymoo · « **Reply #26 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 11:00 »

I've only been to one funeral (my godmother's - although my grandmother and great aunt both died in the last 14 months, I wasn't able to go to either of their funerals due to distance) and we were instructed not to wear black. I wore a bright red blouse but was too worried about the fact that I'd always believed you HAD to wear black to take my coat off. I wish I had now, because wearing bright colours was a request from my godmother.

Lines · « **Reply #27 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 14:01 »

Quote from: Jimmy the Squid on 31 Oct 2013, 02:21

That's why art galleries are filled with self portraits.

Portraits, yes. Self-portraits...not always. Mostly self-portraits are because 1) you are and always will be your cheapest model and 2) it's the easiest way to practice portraits.

Also I've noticed nowadays you don't have to wear black clothes to a funeral. Some people don't even wear muted clothes. But I think most people are capable of dressing themselves and/or their children in appropriate manner for such situations. I don't really have a problem with how those people were dressing though, I have problems with stupid blatant narcissism during a time that is about the death of a loved one. Maybe it's just the difference between me and the younger generation but I don't think everything needs to go online and not everything needs to be photographed. And if I were a parent with a teen, I'd just take their freaking phone away for one day. They can survive without the internets or data for a few hours.

Metope · « **Reply #28 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 14:07 »

See what I find really weird about this subject as a generational thing, is that my personal experience is so different. I would never take photos at funerals because it wouldn't really cross my mind, but earlier this year when my grandfather fell ill and ended up in a coma, my mother and aunts started taking pictures of him in the hospital bed. I thought it was really weird and uncomfortable to take photos of a very vulnerable person in no state to object, and the nurse actually said 'you're not really supposed to take pictures in here, when he wakes up he might not feel comfortable with it', and then they got really upset about themselves and the fact that they hadn't considered grandpa's opinion, it hadn't even occurred to them. When grandpa died later, mom was taking photos of everything at the funeral too, although I guess that's understandable since it's nice to have memories from the event.

Lines · « **Reply #29 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 14:20 »

See, I don't want to remember the events by photos, but by emotions. Also I don't even look in open caskets because I don't want the last image stuck in my head of them being dead. I did that with a great uncle and then my grandpa and I'm never doing it again. It's just a body, I don't need to remember the body, I need to remember the person. Family photos at the get together afterwards is one thing, but at the actual funeral...ugh. Why.

I mean, there's that old custom of taking pictures of the dead (they look like they're sleeping), but they creep me out. Dead things in general creep me out, but the human desire to preserve bodies seems so unnatural to me. Give me a viking funeral over a contemporary one any day.

Metope · « **Reply #30 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 14:24 »

Yeah that's how I feel too. Also open caskets aren't a thing over here, which I am very thankful for. I don't think she took any photos during the actual funeral inside the chapel, but she definitely took photos of all the flower arrangements on the site of the grave, plus all the guests standing there. Of course, Jens wasn't able to attend the funeral, so I think she took the photos partially so that he could see what it was like too.

Regarding different types of funerals, I came across a website that advertised biodegradable boxes for cremated ashes, and the box also contains the seed of a tree (don't remember which type), so when the tree starts growing you'll have that instead of a grave stone. I think that's what I want to happen to me, seems much nicer than rotting in an expensive, wooden box.

Jimmy the Squid · « **Reply #31 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 14:32 »

I had a client who had attempted suicide and her two teenage daughters had taken photos of her in her hospital bed while she was in an induced coma and put them up on facebook. I think with the availability of having a camera wherever you go and the simplicity of sharing everything about your life (and a lack of awareness of the consequences of that) a lot of children just don't think about it any more, if they ever did. But because they just had this technology made available to them, without having to figure out how to use it or even understand it they're just not responsible with it.

Metope · « **Reply #32 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 14:38 »

Wow. Yeah my mom and aunts would never have put those photos online, so that's different. Technology really is developing too fast for society to keep up, it's probably not easy for kids to see where the line is crossed when uploading stuff to fb. In theory you should always ask for permission before uploading a photo of someone, but in real life that's pretty hard to follow and sometimes not really necessary, and sometimes it's hard to judge the situation. Maybe they should teach online privacy ethics in school or something?

Lines · « **Reply #33 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 14:46 »

Quote from: Metope on 31 Oct 2013, 14:24

Regarding different types of funerals, I came across a website that advertised biodegradable boxes for cremated ashes, and the box also contains the seed of a tree (don't remember which type), so when the tree starts growing you'll have that instead of a grave stone. I think that's what I want to happen to me, seems much nicer than rotting in an expensive, wooden box.

Considering I always wanted to be cremated and then have my ashes buried under a tree*, I think this sounds fantastic.

*I decided this as a child...don't remember when exactly, but sometime around the time I understood what happened to dead people.

pwhodges · « **Reply #34 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 17:02 »

I don't care what happens to my body; burn it and let the ashes blow away for all I care - but if doing something else makes someone happy, well I won't be around to object.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #35 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 17:44 »

Listen to this song, follow it's instructions.

Method of Madness · « **Reply #36 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 17:49 »

Quote from: pwhodges on 31 Oct 2013, 17:02

I don't care what happens to my body; burn it and let the ashes blow away for all I care - but if doing something else makes someone happy, well I won't be around to object.

This is my exact philosophy on the matter.

Lines · « **Reply #37 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 18:06 »

A few people I know want their body donated to science. One in particular wants to be a classroom skeleton. Much cooler than slowly rotting in a box.

RedWolf4 · « **Reply #38 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 18:25 »

That would actually be pretty cool. I think I'd stipulate that I'd have to have my own desk and clothes and chair to occupy when not in use. And a name tag.

LookingIn · « **Reply #39 on:** 31 Oct 2013, 20:39 »

Quote from: RedWolf4 on 31 Oct 2013, 18:25

That would actually be pretty cool. I think I'd stipulate that I'd have to have my own desk and clothes and chair to occupy when not in use. And a name tag.

Something like what is done for Jeremy Bentham?

Barmymoo · « **Reply #40 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 02:34 »

I'm registered as a donor for basically everything, but assuming I'm not of any use in that way (if I die of illness I probably wouldn't be), I think I'd rather be buried in a biodegradable coffin so that I'm useful to the earth. On the other hand the idea of bones under the ground really creeps me out so emotionally I'd prefer to be cremated - I think I'll leave it up to my family to decide!

pwhodges · « **Reply #41 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 03:29 »

By now, using me for donor organs would be like going to the scrapyard for spare parts.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #42 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 03:37 »

A perfectly viable option for many replacements? Or a "Pull it out yourself" kind of deal?

Metope · « **Reply #43 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 04:05 »

I want to be cremated for sure, There are too many people on the earth to keep burying them in big coffins. I'd like to say I don't care what happens to me after I die, but I really don't want to be a waste of space.

Thrillho · « **Reply #44 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 04:13 »

Quote from: Metope on 01 Nov 2013, 04:05

I want to be cremated for sure, There are too many people on the earth to keep burying them in big coffins. I'd like to say I don't care what happens to me after I die, but I really don't want to be a waste of space.

Graves get emptied after 80 years or so.

Metope · « **Reply #45 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 04:24 »

80 years is a long time to be a waste of space.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #46 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 04:31 »

It ensures the survivors of the dead are dead or close to it themselves.

Metope · « **Reply #47 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 04:33 »

Well yeah, it's nice to have something to go to, but does it have to be a space as big, or bigger than the person used to be when they were alive? A small spot for the urn is enough space imo.

pwhodges · « **Reply #48 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 04:45 »

Quote from: GarandMarine on 01 Nov 2013, 03:37

A perfectly viable option for many replacements? Or a "Pull it out yourself" kind of deal?

The chance of finding a part that's less worn than the part being replaced (even if not actually broken) is getting pretty remote.

~~GarandMarine~~ · « **Reply #49 on:** 01 Nov 2013, 04:52 »

For real though I have a specific request for my funeral, I'd like to be set adrift and cremated Norse style. Barring that cremate my Irish ass, take 1/3 of me, stick me in a capsule and send me extra solar, dump another 1/3 of me out at around 30,000ft and stick the rest in an urn under a tree near a cliff by the sea so people have a place to visit if any one feels like bothering. Though with such prime real estate, I'm sure I'll get plenty of visitors.

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Author Topic: Selfies at funerals (Read 9196 times)