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[dr. nervioso]

I moved a lot as a kid, and as a result, I never really formed any solid friendships.  So I can't really relate to that. 

With the exception of my wife, I can't say as I have any "best friends". 

It took me a very long time to realize that this isn't entirely normal.  I was about forty. 



And I still don't have any friends that I'd call close. 







So maybe it's just me. 

EDIT Accidentally put my response in the middle of the quote
So Carl-E, this is my life. Except I had the realization about 2 years ago which kinda crippled my Junior and Senior years of high school

[Thrillho]

I'm actually finally getting my sleep pattern back into gear. Bed at midnight most nights the last few weeks. 'Tis good!

[Carl-E]

My older daughter got a promotion and raise at her customer service phone job yesterday. 

The next step up is into training / management.  And she's turning 23 on Tuesday. 


Woot!

[Barmymoo]

Sounds like things are going well for your family at the moment, Carl, I'm so glad!

I had an hour and a half nap this afternoon, I couldn't stay awake any longer - I made it through my noon tutoring class and then just gave up. Early night tonight and I'm aiming to get up and get to morning prayer at 8.30. It should be a good way to make sure that I'm getting up at the same time every day, and that hopefully will help me to sleep at night. But I can imagine it's going to be painful for a while.

[Akima]

I'm a bit compulsive about getting up in the morning. I find it easier to get up at the same time every day of the week, regardless of holidays etc. Like Carl, I pretty much can't sleep in, even when I've had a late-night call-out from work and not got back to bed until oh-dark-thirty.

When it comes to going to sleep, I strongly recommend meditation-breathing. Obviously, I am prejudiced here, because meditation is central to my daily practice, but other people to whom I've suggested the technique have found it quite effective in stilling the windmills of the mind.

[Zingoleb]

It isn't. Not in my experience, anyways. Pot knocks me the fuck out, though, so it's making me irritated that I can't smoke much of it; since my wallet's gone missing, I can't afford to buy any.

[Welu]

The other night I kept dreaming I had slept in because I was working early yesterday, which is a day I don't usually work. Then last night I kept dreaming about getting up and going to work because I usually work Sunday mornings but I wasn't working this morning. Next week I have a 7am start and I'm expecting to have another night dreaming about sleeping in late and I'm not looking forward to it. I also find if I wake up during the night or early in the morning, if I know the time I really struggle to get back to sleep.

I tend to start counting if I'm struggling to get to sleep. I usually lose track at some point and start day dreaming and conk out eventually.

[Pilchard123]

I've woken up in dreams repeatedly before now, usually only a little while before I've actually had to get up for real. It isn't fun.

[Carl-E]

Best trope ever! 


Unless you're living it, of course. 

[Bluesummers]

It's a bit harder to work out kick-its when I'm in the SF Bay Area and one's splitting time between Dubai and England and the other is moving to New Zealand. We have Facebook at least. Saving grace.

Wow...yeah, that's.........tough. Geez. Hooray for technology at least.

Other than that, apparently I overpaid my doctor's office and I'm getting $450 next week. Woo!

Yay, money!

[LTK]

When it comes to going to sleep, I strongly recommend meditation-breathing. Obviously, I am prejudiced here, because meditation is central to my daily practice, but other people to whom I've suggested the technique have found it quite effective in stilling the windmills of the mind.

It works wonders for me, although I've only a superficial knowledge of meditation, and the meditative focus is mostly self-taught. I haven't required it in a while, but recently I've been having trouble getting my brain to shut up for long enough to get to sleep, so I simply start to focus on breathing. It's the worst when I've had a particularly salient social event earlier that day that gets replayed over and over again. Otherwise, it's just a runaway train of thought that keeps me awake.

I think the reason why focusing on breathing works so well it's because it's regular. You can try to silence your thoughts and focus on getting to sleep, but that focus disappears when you relax and then your brain just starts rambling all over again. By clearing your mind with every exhale, you keep interrupting the runaway thoughts, so your mental agitation stops. It's very effective in getting me to fall asleep.

[Zingoleb]

You can silence your thoughts? Holy shit, that must be nice. Usually I have at least one or two voices just repeating the same thing over and over again, and it's fucking maddening.

[Carl-E]

I think that's actually the definition of maddening...

[Zingoleb]

You go a little mad, you get the voices, and the voices drive you a whole lot of mad.

[Barmymoo]

I think a big problem is that my radiator will never SHUT THE FUCK UP. Last night I plugged my ears with tissue for a while and just about managed to block out the noise by covering my head with my duvet but I couldn't sleep for worrying that the tissue would get stuck in my ear canal, so I had to take it out. I was kept awake for two hours and then woke up again at 2.30, and finally at 7.20. I've put in a maintenance request to have the fucker bled but what I really want is to have it removed. I would rather be cold and get some sleep.

[The Seldom Killer]

While I realise it isn't your responsibility, most radiator noises can be fixed with a radiator key that costs about £2.

[Zingoleb]

fucker

this is the second time I've seen you swear in recent memory. what a shocking change has come over our may...

[VonKleist]

While I realise it isn't your responsibility, most radiator noises can be fixed with a radiator key that costs about £2.

Yes, it might just be air in it. I de-aired mine and it went on forever. Like nearly a minute. It still blubbers a bit, though, but in an acceptable range.

[Papersatan]

I started making a skirt from this fabric I have owned for almost 8 years now.  I just realized the print is probably racist. Trying to decide what to do about it.

[BeoPuppy]

Racist print? How does that look?

[Papersatan]

It's an assortment of "Japan" related things: bamboo, cherry blossoms, peonies, pagodas, stylized waves, Japanese writing....

I think I could live with it if it were just the flowers.

[BeoPuppy]

Doesn't really sound rasict. Touristy perhaps, like the tullips and windmills and endless van Goghs we get here.

[Patrick]

Man. I realize I still have awesome friends and they're helping me through my bud's move a lot. But it's just harder than I expected it to be to have a friend as casually close as Greg move off. He's one of those people where every single stupid idiosyncrasy of ours under the sun is first nature, realtalk comes second, and love is taken for granted because how else could it even be? Brotherhood.

It's the second night of him being inaccessible, and I'm crying myself to sleep again. Fuck. I'm realizing now that I'm definitely capable of forming meaningful friendships despite my constant moves (and despite my belief otherwise), I'm also capable of forming the kind of friendships that are this level of symbiotic.

Ultimately I'm going to have to start thinking of this as an opportunity to reflect on what level of closeness is possible in a friendship, and that's going to be good for me; we could all use more faith in people. But for now I'm just gonna appreciate this one enough to really be shaken when it's separated this much. If that means bawling, fuck it.

[Barmymoo]

Haha I do swear - actually I swear more than I like; I think I probably edit my posts to remove swearing sometimes which is why you wouldn't realise! But seriously, I have been so annoyed by the noise. During the day it's less noticable, until it stops and I suddenly notice how blissfully quiet things are, but at night it's impossible and I get cranky when I'm tired!

However a helpful man from the maintenance team is on the case, and has identified which pump it is that is causing the noise. It's stopped a couple of times as he switched things on and off, but currently still happening... hopefully he can fix it. It's not just my room, it's several in this building which I guess makes it better but on the other hand means it's a bigger problem.

[Bluesummers]

Doesn't really sound rasict. Touristy perhaps, like the tullips and windmills and endless van Goghs we get here.

Indeed...it's the kind of "Touristy Bullshit" they sell at touristy traps. Obnoxious? Yes. Will point you out as an aging, easily pickpocketable foreigner? Yes. Racist? No.

Ultimately I'm going to have to start thinking of this as an opportunity to reflect on what level of closeness is possible in a friendship, and that's going to be good for me; we could all use more faith in people. But for now I'm just gonna appreciate this one enough to really be shaken when it's separated this much. If that means bawling, fuck it.

Crying it out sometimes sounds pointless, but it really does tend to help. It releases the flow of serotonin and dopamine to where they should be in your body, and improves stress levels. In short: it's a good thing.

[ackblom12]

Touristy things are quite regularly incredibly racist.

I would agree that it's racist, though maybe not incredibly so. It's the same kind of subtle everyday racism that clothing with various Native American symbols on it has.

[pwhodges]

Oh look, a concert today.  Now I know why he was playing the Debussy so much when I was with him over Christmas; and I heard him play the Birtwistle (which was written for him) just ten days ago.

[Redball]

I think a big problem is that my radiator will never SHUT THE FUCK UP. Last night I plugged my ears with tissue for a while and just about managed to block out the noise by covering my head with my duvet but I couldn't sleep for worrying that the tissue would get stuck in my ear canal, so I had to take it out. I was kept awake for two hours and then woke up again at 2.30, and finally at 7.20. I've put in a maintenance request to have the fucker bled but what I really want is to have it removed. I would rather be cold and get some sleep.

I admit I've thought it funny and appealing when a young woman not known for profanity utters some, unexpectedly. And you need soft foam earplugs. Not perfect for light sleepers, but better than tissue, no question of getting stuck and very inexpensive.

[pwhodges]

I would agree that it's racist, though maybe not incredibly so. It's the same kind of subtle everyday racism that clothing with various Native American symbols on it has.

Tourist reminders may give a very unbalanced view of the culture they are taken from, but is this necessarily racist?  That would imply that any incomplete account, which is therefore inherently unrepresentative, could be considered racist - and I think that widening the concept that far is a bad thing, because it serves to remove focus from the cases that matter more.

Perhaps one test is whether a Japanese person (in the case at issue) would be able to buy it without embarrassment.

[Bluesummers]

Indeed...I mean, if the shirt has Thomas Nast-style caricatures of Asians, with tiny slits for eyes, big teeth and no hair save for a long braid at the back, then it's racist...otherwise, it's just bad fashion sense.

Perhaps one test is whether a Japanese person (in the case at issue) would be able to buy it without embarrassment.

English-speaking people buy "Engrish" clothing all the time, because they think it's hilarious. Isn't this similar?

After all, marketing that language barrier into t-shirts is how Hot Topic gets half its revenue.

[ackblom12]

I think that narrowing it down to only the worst ignores the fact that racism is a very ingrained part of society, in many ways appearing in ways that you just don't notice in day to day activities.

[Redball]

Doesn't seem racist at all to me. It evokes the geography and the culture, and if it were touristy, it would be an expression of fondness for the visit to a fascinating place. Whether or not it's attractive and tasteful is another matter. It doesn't automatically sound tasteless.

[pwhodges]

I think that narrowing it down to only the worst ignores the fact that racism is a very ingrained part of society, in many ways appearing in ways that you just don't notice in day to day activities.

I agree in principle; but I think we may disagree markedly on where the boundary should lie.

[Redball]

Indeed...I mean, if the shirt has Thomas Nast-style caricatures of Asians, with tiny slits for eyes, big teeth and no hair save for a long braid at the back, then it's racist...otherwise, it's just bad fashion sense.

I had to go to http://www.etymonline.com to be sure "nasty" didn't come from Nast.

[jwhouk]

It is currently nine degrees below freezing here in the Great North Woods of Wisconsin.

That translates to -23 Celsius for our friends not in the States.

What it REALLY translates to is ####ing COLD.



(And despite the cold, I can still censor myself.)

[Barmymoo]

I hope that wasn't a dig at me, Houk...

I am considering getting some earplugs. I'm not sure where one buys earplugs, other than in large quantities on the internet.

This morning I went into town and bought a few things I needed, returned an adaptor which I'd bought for the airbed pump which didn't work (a slightly hairy moment when the guy at the shop said "Oh, it sounds like you've blown the fuse" or something, but actually when he tested it the adaptor worked fine so it was indeed the pump that didn't work, which I've already successfully returned), and then on a whim went into a shoe shop and bought some boot wax. My Docs were looking like they needed a bit of care and my brown boots which I've worn almost daily this winter have practically fallen to pieces from not being properly looked after so it was well past due. The brown boots have actually changed colour thanks to the wax, they were so dry and de-moistured. Sadly unlike the skin on my hands, moisturising the leather doesn't appear to have magical fixing qualities so I'll still need to buy some new ones but they should last a bit longer now.

Adulthood: when you notice that something needs attention and you deal with it.

[Lines]

May, I buy earplugs at drug stores. So whatever the UK equivalent to a CVS or Walgreens is, try there?

[Redball]

I was about to suggest the same.

And for me, an important path to adulthood was realizing that my car really needed oil changes often than every 12-15,000 miles. I was a little past 30 (age, not mileage) when I made this discovery. Nowadays, oil changes are somewhere between 4-6,000. But YMMV.

[nekowafer]

Adulthood for me: Doing things I don't want to do with only a few complaints.

[Bluesummers]

For me, adulthood is being happy about getting money every week, but then the happiness goes away along with my money, to pay off my debts.

But the silver lining is that I actually enjoy my job.

[BeoPuppy]

Adulthood = kid, for me.

At times.

[pwhodges]

I am considering getting some earplugs. I'm not sure where one buys earplugs, other than in large quantities on the internet.

In the UK, Boots or Superdrug, for a start.  You might also see if ear-plugs or ear-plugging compounds made for swimming would suit your usage (also from Boots, I think).  Shops that sell travel goods might well have earplugs for travellers, as well.

[Thrillho]

Man. I realize I still have awesome friends and they're helping me through my bud's move a lot. But it's just harder than I expected it to be to have a friend as casually close as Greg move off. He's one of those people where every single stupid idiosyncrasy of ours under the sun is first nature, realtalk comes second, and love is taken for granted because how else could it even be? Brotherhood.

It's the second night of him being inaccessible, and I'm crying myself to sleep again. Fuck. I'm realizing now that I'm definitely capable of forming meaningful friendships despite my constant moves (and despite my belief otherwise), I'm also capable of forming the kind of friendships that are this level of symbiotic.

Ultimately I'm going to have to start thinking of this as an opportunity to reflect on what level of closeness is possible in a friendship, and that's going to be good for me; we could all use more faith in people. But for now I'm just gonna appreciate this one enough to really be shaken when it's separated this much. If that means bawling, fuck it.

These are all positive, healthy feelings to have.

I had these same feelings when I left Preston to move to Abingdon. I left behind basically every real friend I'd ever made, and I still hardly see most of them. Unfortunately it drove me to some pretty dark places.

But treasure that friendship for what it was while it lasted. There's very little like it. And for a few glorious moments in the future you might see each other again and it'll be like nothing's changed at all.

[Barmymoo]

Thanks, Paul and Linds - it was rather dense of me not to think of that.

[Zingoleb]

English-speaking people buy "Engrish" clothing all the time, because they think it's hilarious.

I rather like Engrish stuff. I can see how it can be construed as racist, but I look at it on a level that's both simpler and more complex - how languages are translated, how languages that use certain phonemes can be harder to access in languages that don't use them, and systems for translating eastern languages into western languages (this last one most hilariously resulting from Gan4).

So I'm not sure if Engrish in and of itself is racist - it's kind of an expected language barrier that has some pretty hilarious, unintended outcomes, which can be said of, well, any language trying to be spoken/written by someone who isn't fluent in it. There was a discussion earlier (I think between Kat and Akima?) that touched on how in some Asian languages (I can't remember the exact specifics - sorry!) there's no 'L' - and so it easily becomes mixed up with 'R', which is why you see so many L->R mistranslations - like displays for Eric Crapton, or, y'know, "Engrish."

So part of my fascination with it is because it's funny but also because it shows how language barriers affect communication in a very real way. I'd like to think that's not racist, but as a, y'know, white person I'm not exactly the best judge of what is or is not racist.

[Thrillho]

I'm sure Japanese folk will buy badly translated Japanese shit from English people, or would if it existed. It's funny because it makes no sense. It's not like 'Haha Japanese people are idiots, look how badly they speak our language.' It's 'Haha, look how badly translated this is, regardless of source.'

I once liked one bit of Engrish so much - 'Your happy is my business' - that I got it put on a t-shirt. It's such a positive message!

[Welu]

My favourite one I've seen was a t-shirt my Da brought back from one of his work trips to China. "Go to the sky and reach a limit." My brothers and I loved the idea of choosing one limit and reaching it, then just stopping. Forget about any other goals, you only get to reach one.

I also feel the humour comes from the bad translation creating some silly nonsense regardless of source.

[Bluesummers]

I once liked one bit of Engrish so much - 'Your happy is my business' - that I got it put on a t-shirt. It's such a positive message!

That's an awesome creeper shirt, I do believe.

My favourite one I've seen was a t-shirt my Da brought back from one of his work trips to China. "Go to the sky and reach a limit." My brothers and I loved the idea of choosing one limit and reaching it, then just stopping. Forget about any other goals, you only get to reach one.

Mathematically hilarious.

I heard that several KFC restaurants that opened in China had to change their signage, because the slogan was mistranslated. The original was "KFC: Finger-lickin' Good!" but was translated into Szechuan for local management approval, then back into "English"...the final design read "KFC: Eat Your Fingers Off, It's Good!"

Yum.

[Zingoleb]

My particular favourite was the one with Perdue chickens in Mexico, where it got translated from "It takes a strong man to make a chicken tender," to "Se necesita un hombre potente para que un pollo sea afectuoso," which apparently means, more or less, "One needs a virile man in order to make a chicken affectionate."

[Bluesummers]

My particular favourite was the one with Perdue chickens in Mexico, where it got translated from "It takes a strong man to make a chicken tender," to "Se necesita un hombre potente para que un pollo sea afectuoso," which apparently means, more or less, "One needs a virile man in order to make a chicken affectionate."

Lol... It gives new meaning to the term "Cockfight".