Took me some time to collect my thoughts on what follows, and I've been busy. Sorry for the delay.
Well, you did sort of imply you thought Delilah was wrong for choosing not to see Marten anymore, when it's perfectly within her rights imo. But I'm sorry if I misread you on that and it's not what you meant.
By default, I tend to assume that if someone misreads me, it's because I've been unclear. So I'll start over in a more collected fashion.
First of all, I didn't make any statement about Delilah's answer to Marten. I looked up all of my posts on this thread just in case I forgot something, but no, I really didn't.
What I have strong feelings about is the way greywolfe chose to interpret Marten's reaction.
Thanks to Method of Madness, I'm now able to say something about Delilah, though, and it helped me pinpoint what irked me about greywolfe's position.
As a remainder, here is greywolfe's post that rubbed me all the wrong way at a time when I was hungover, sleep-deprived, cranky, and already irked by the way other posters jumped to conclusions like Frogger on floating logs (sorry for the obscure simile, kids, but I'm 38, so duh):
Jesus Christ. If anyone needs therapy, it's Marten.
It was a one-night stand, casual sex. You know, the thing that normal, healthy adults can do without having a debriefing session afterwards. Build a bridge and take a teaspoon of cement ffs.
And here's the post than enlightened me:
Still a little messed up, though, but it'd be messed up even if they hadn't had sex. Like if they got along, and hung out and just talked and then the next day Delilah just decided she never wanted to see him again, I'd find that a little messed up. Within her rights, sure, but messed up.
I half-disagree. To me, there's nothing messed up with the
substance of the answer in either case. People are entitled to manage their social connections however they want. Well, save for being abusive, but that's besides the point because no one here has been abusive.
I'm totally okay with Delilah's stating that she has no use for Marten in her life except as a vague acquaintance and that she doesn't give a shit if they never ever meet again. She's totally entitled to this stance, because it's her life.
However, there's something puzzling with the way she chose to phrase it, and thanks to the context shift you proposed, MoM, I can finally pinpoint why it puzzled me. If they had just spent the night chatting or exchanging jokes or playing Scrabble, her answer would have been very weird indeed (leaving aside the first name blunder). What's so special with sex that makes her answer any less weird?
As for Marten's reaction, it's totally understandable. He's been rejected. No matter what the circumstances, rejection is still a bummer. Those who pretend the contrary either lie (possibly primary to themselves), or should really reconsider why they bother to interact with other people to begin with - seriously, they could just stop altogether, that would make room for people who actually
care.
Rejection is something one
learns to cope with, and among the things that helps to cope with thing one isn't used to, are
friends. Since it's quite obvious by everything we know about him that Marten isn't used to rejection, there's nothing weird with his reaction. It's perfectly normal and healthy.
So yeah, I was definitely irked when greywolfe burned Marten for his perfectly understandable feelings. Feelings that, by the way, he's totally entitled to, just as Delilah was entitled to her answer.
Years of forced solitude because you can't act the same way, you can't communicate the same way gets old very quickly and you just want to be normal.
Being normal and getting along are two different things. Something that prevents you from getting along whereas you'd like to is called an illness.