That said, I don't think this sort of weird zen feeling when relationships are budding is common. I mean, not only because I haven't felt it, but because no one I know has ever described it to me when discussing their feelings for someone. Usually it's the crazy passion side - the feeling out of control - that people discuss, not feeling profoundly centered. That comes later, once you've built an attachment to someone and feel secure.
I'm pretty sure Marten is surprised by the whole thing too. Because he said he was surprised. I don't know what's really going on with him. It's important to remember that he and Claire are just a thing. They've defined neither the purpose nor intensity of their relationship. They both seem to be aware of that.
We don't know that Marten was Zen (which literally {not figuratively}) means "Nothing." (Say it twice for emphasis.) A zen response is one that shows the nothing. Marten was cool, calm, confident in himself. He was very happy with how things were going, and they were going well enough that he didn't have the whatever to worry about it.
Claire is fairly histrionic for a reasonably calm type. I suspect she was less freaked out than she sometimes appeared.
Marten, for the most part, has been treating Claire the way he always has. Everything about their dynamic has had Marten being a little paternal towards her. Maybe because she puts him in the position of answering a lot of questions.
First Faye.
Then Dora.
Then Marten.
All of the core cast have now gotten together with someone who was super into them before they were completely aware of it. So far they have each taken their own path with it.
This would be remarkable if we were seeing a totally different Marten here, but we know he's capable of being laid back in uncomfortable situations, and we know how he's related to Claire for the past two months. He likes Claire, maybe a lot. But he's also sure she likes him. Certain of it. He (Correctly) figures that having spend as much together as they have, he's unlikely to do anything to turn her off.
All of the twitterpating in early relationships really comes from the lack of knowledge. Do they? Don't they? Will they? Won't they? The inability to answer these questions is how strong infatuation forms. If you think about X a lot, you tell the brain that X is important. Important things should be thought about, so the brain creates a reward cycle where thing about X feels good so you think about X.
Actually relationships are a little more complex than "Thinking about X feels good."
Think about favorite Toto songs for a minute.
Okay, now that you've had a minute I'm going to use them to show the basic factor that seems to underlie a positive relationship, a factor we haven't seen yet with Marten and Claire.
It's called the bid for a attention, but the people who think it's a big deal. Say SO1 says, "Hey! That bird is amazing!" How does SO2 react?
The statement about the bird is a bid for attention. It's almost certainly not planned as such. It's planned as "HOLY SHIT! THIS BIRD IS FUCKING AMAZING, I SHOULD SHARE THIS WITH OTHER HUMANS."
The general factor that determines relations success seems to be how often bids are rewarded. If most bids are rejected or ignored, the relationship tends to fall apart.
This is a rejected bid. Jeph was using a different kind of foreshadowing here, but it works anyway. We don't yet know how Marten is processing or what Jeph has in mind for an end game, if he has anything in mind.
The likely reason accepting bids seems to correlate to relationship longevity is that it is proxy for how much you care. Maybe you don't care about birds. They do. So you give a few moments to acknowledge that. Fuck Toto. But hey, it was important enough to ask, so maybe I should just explain that I'm not a fan and find out why he asked?
Of course the bidding has to go both ways and so does the acceptance. You can love--intently--a person without really caring about them. It seems like a paradox, but tell me honestly that you don't see that all the time. I do. It makes me sad. Caring seems to be the strongest predictor of long terms success.
Marten showed a lot of care. As in careful. Maybe that means something. Maybe it doesn't. It's too early to tell. The ship may have sailed but it's just a builder's trial. We won't know if it's deemed seaworthy until it it stops being a thing and the (gender)friend words star being used.
Poll
11 (10.4%)
Author
Topic: WCDT: 2840-2844 (24 - 28 November 2014) Weekly Comic Discussion Thread (Read 57259 times)