(In which Sakura is patient with Shinji - the scraps of conversation reported here take place at varying intervals on different days.)
Shinji?
...
You don't have to answer if you're not ready; but remember, I'm just here to listen, 'kay?
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Shinji? I want to take the opportunity to say: thank you. I know that the day I was injured, what you did saved us all. I got better afterwards, but that was only even possible because you saved us, so thank you!
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Shinji?
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Shinji? Can you remember what happened? Are you able to tell me about it yet?
K-kaworu told me that the ruin of the world was m-m-my fault, so I, ... I ... I was going to m-make everything right again. Kaworu said I c-could. B-but ... then that happened. And Kaworu ... died. He was w-wrong; what he t-told me was a lie. How could he lie? He said we were friends! Everyone lies to me! Has it really been f-fourteen years? You've been l-living in this ruined world f-for fourteen years?
Yes, Shinji, we have. As you can see here, it's not all like the geofront; but it's bad enough.
But you didn't lie. You told me n-not to get in the Eva, and I did, and you were right, and it would have been better if I hadn't. And now you must be angry with me again; and T-touji will punch me again. I deserve to be punched - but it won't make the world better.
Shinji, can you tell me: why did you get in the Eva?
My father t-told me to. And Kaworu told me that we could change the world with the Eva, so I went with him, and we were going to pull the spears out, and Asuka was trying to stop us, and Kaworu was saying things, but I was getting confused so I did it anyway to make things better, and Kaworu died, and...
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Shinji, can you remember anything from before?
There was an angel. It was supposed to be a new Eva, but it was an angel, and it was consuming Asuka! I was there to stop it, but I knew that if I attacked with the plug still in Asuka might be killed! I didn't want to do anything that would kill or hurt Asuka. I refused to attack Asuka, but then my father made the Eva do it anyway! And I tried to stop it! I tried to get him to stop! And then the entry plug got crushed and I thought Asuka must have been killed. I couldn't save her! I wanted to save her, but my father made the Eva attack without considering her, and I couldn't stop it! That's why I never wanted to pilot again! The angel was killed, but the Eva had killed Asuka, I thought, though in fact she was alive, but perhaps the angel had also injured her, and I couldn't stop it!
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Could I have stopped it?
If I had attacked, could I have controlled the Eva and killed the angel without crushing the entry plug?
I could, couldn't I? You said it was okay when you got injured that time, because I killed the angel! I could have saved Asuka, or killed the angel while giving her less injuries! It's my fault what happened! Just like every time, it's my fault! I let my father do it! Oh Asuka! Asuka! I'M SORRY, ASUKA!
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Shinji? Can you talk again? Are you ready to tell me about Rei?
The next angel came. Mari couldn't stop it, and Rei couldn't stop it; and I was leaving, but Mari told me I had to choose between letting the angel destroy the world or getting back in the Eva to fight it. So I went to fight the angel, and the angel ate Unit-00 and Rei, but I was able to stop it. And then I went into the angel's core to rescue Rei. I found her, but she said she could only remain there; but I was able to bring her out, and I was so happy that I'd been able to save her. I was in ecstasy - but then I don't remember anything else, and I woke up surrounded by guards ... and you told me that fourteen years had passed.
Then Ritsuko told me that I had been in Unit-01 all that time, but Rei had not come out with me - but I know I saved her! And then Rei came and rescued me and took me to Nerv, so I knew they'd been lying. But then I found that she wasn't like Rei. She behaved differently, and didn't remember what had happened to her, but her name was still Rei Ayanami! And after Kaworu had shown me the state of the world, and told me it was my fault - though I have no idea why - Fuyutsuki told me that Rei was in Unit-01 and the other pilot was a clone. And now I'm confused and I don't know what to think, or who's who, or what I've done, or who to believe.
I don't even know now who actually knows anything anyway. What has happened to the world? What has happened to me? What has happened to Rei?
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Can I ask you for a favour?
What is it Shinji?
I'd like to be able to speak to the other pilot, the one who calls herself Rei Ayanami.
The by turns fragmented and manic style of Shinji's speech is deliberate, of course. There's also stuff that we know and he doesn't, which means that he might say things you don't quite expect. As in previous sections, it rewrote itself when I tried to commit it to paper, but I think pretty much everything I intended is there in some form. I don't know how long these conversations were spread over - perhaps a couple of weeks?