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Author Topic: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?  (Read 19663 times)

Tova

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #100 on: 06 Oct 2021, 21:38 »

”Fashion rests upon folly. Art rests upon law. Fashion is ephemeral. Art is eternal. Indeed what is a fashion really? A fashion is merely a form of ugliness so absolutely unbearable that we have to alter it every six months! It is quite clear that were it beautiful and rational we would not alter anything that combined those two rare qualities. And wherever dress has been so, it has remained unchanged in law and principle for many hundred years."

‘The Philosophy of Dress’, New York Tribune, April 19th, 1885, 9. Excerpt.
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Gyrre

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #101 on: 08 Dec 2021, 12:18 »

Yea, I am very skilled at reading nonverbal communication, but it isn't an exact science with a one-for-one translation. It is largely instinctual and educated guess work based on experience and subconscious awareness. [Snip]
[Yes, I'm late to this conversation.]
Not having had the best of childhoods[1] I was forced to learn body language growing up. The text I oranged is one of the reasons a lot of my body language is deliberate and exaggerated to a degree. I hate being misunderstood and  I'm told I have difficulty modulating tone in my delivery by some people. When it comes to facial expressions, it's my eyebrows and mouth that will tell you my intent as that's what I exaggerate. I'm not entirely certain when I started exaggerating my body language, but I know I started doing so more when I started working at the factory I'm at now.[2] Between that and my dry erase board, it makes communicating with my two deaf coworkers and my many ESL coworkers a fair bit easier.[3]

For a examples: When I roll my eyes and I want to the person to know it's a purposeful motion, I'll follow the motion with my head in a small but noticeable arc. Disappointment is indicated with a visible and somewhat animated shoulder and head slump. That sort of thing. Think of a mime or other stage clown performing emotions in a routine/skit.

[1]I'd rather not get into it. Suffice it to say court-ordered family therapy.
[2] I may be 5'5" (165cm) but I weigh 222 lbs (100.7 kg) and have to wear a US men's 3XL labcoat for my shoulders alone. So that tends to spook some folks when I'm walking quickly in their direction.
[3] Not sure if my no-visible-teeth smile is considered abberant or not.

EDIT: Yes, fashion is absolutely B.S. Standardize size, make pockets functional.
EDIT 2: [completing above thought] As long as it's not ratty, covers your nethers, doesn't 'clash', and you like wearing it, it shouldn't matter.
« Last Edit: 08 Dec 2021, 13:07 by Gyrre »
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #102 on: 13 Feb 2022, 09:42 »

Can't remember if I mentioned this already. From childhood I've been baffled that one of them will answer a question in a way that doesn't even relate to the subject of the question and everyone doesn't even notice.
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Morituri

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #103 on: 13 Feb 2022, 11:50 »

There's apparently a knack to that.  I've tried answering what someone means instead of what they say, but I screw it up almost every time.  The problem is when I try to answer what they mean I tend to answer what they reveal about themselves instead.

Folks tended to get upset.  So I quit.

But I have learned a lot of 'set bits' and phrases that people use, and memorized what those bits mean.  So I can confidently answer those.
« Last Edit: 13 Feb 2022, 12:01 by Morituri »
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Sorflakne

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #104 on: 17 Feb 2022, 19:33 »

Can't remember if I mentioned this already. From childhood I've been baffled that one of them will answer a question in a way that doesn't even relate to the subject of the question and everyone doesn't even notice.

I've noticed at previous jobs that there's a lot of talking past one another on business stuff, plans, strategy, etc at meetings or other discussions, both between other people I'm observing and me talking to someone.  Half the time I'm like, did you even comprehend the question I asked or statement made, because you're speaking like you didn't, and still didn't get what I was actually saying after I repeated it or tried saying it a different way.  Just one of the many reasons I find meetings pointless and don't like talking to higher ups on non-hot or emergency items.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #105 on: 18 Feb 2022, 10:28 »

According to the Gervais principle, it's because you're literally speaking different languages. If people are talking like they don't even understand what you're saying, that's a sign that the conversation isn't about optimizing your business strategy or whatever you think it is; it's optimizing for status in the social and professional hierarchy. Depending on your place in that hierarchy (regardless of whether you realize where your place is) it might be more advantageous for them to gloss over or dismiss whatever you said.

Now, I don't have enough workplace experience to know whether this is common or true. I hope it's not true. But I can see very easily that it could be.
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Gyrre

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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #106 on: 01 Mar 2022, 20:31 »

According to the Gervais principle, it's because you're literally speaking different languages. If people are talking like they don't even understand what you're saying, that's a sign that the conversation isn't about optimizing your business strategy or whatever you think it is; it's optimizing for status in the social and professional hierarchy. Depending on your place in that hierarchy (regardless of whether you realize where your place is) it might be more advantageous for them to gloss over or dismiss whatever you said.

Now, I don't have enough workplace experience to know whether this is common or true. I hope it's not true. But I can see very easily that it could be.

So it really may just boil down to 'ego'. Geeze.

I know it often does with coworkers eho believe themselves more important and useful than they actually are.
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Re: What's the most baffling thing about neurotypical people?
« Reply #107 on: 06 Mar 2022, 20:07 »

If you mean non-ADD people, just carrying along after they've been startled. I can do that that maybe 3-4 times a day.
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