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Author Topic: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning  (Read 26415 times)

Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #350 on: 10 Mar 2018, 15:43 »

I've discovered that I love telling people I kept my name after getting married. I thought it would be more frustrating dealing with the assumptions but confidently saying, "My name is [Name]." Keeps getting this slightly taken aback response, where people are clearly confused and/or disapproving but can't/won't say anything outright damning.
I don't usually like making people feel awkward or weird but there's something satisfying about being assertive about who I am.

I tend to get the same questions.

Why?
Why not? I like my name.

What name will your children have?
We're not having children. (Gets a bonus taken aback response)

How?
This is the most confusing. I just... Didn't change my name.

But what does your Partner think?
Not that it really matters because it's my name, but they completely support me.

I personally prefer the symbolism that we are two separate people who have chosen to be together. I can understand the idea of wanting to become one or symbolise being family, but I didn't feel the need to change my name to feel like we are family.

All that said it might be an issue when we're on holiday with my brother. That might lead to more confusing situations being with one person who has the same name but I'm married to the person with the different name. I guess it'll just be more chances to say, "Actually.... 8-)"
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #351 on: 11 Mar 2018, 20:34 »

Is that really a thing? People ask that?

I mean, sure most of the people I know changed their name, but it's not that uncommon not to. Possibly it's the Quebecois influence. I just can't imagine asking something like that.
Good on you for sticking to your guns.

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #352 on: 11 Mar 2018, 22:55 »

In 1969 my first wife would have kept her name if she'd liked it - but she disliked it, so she changed.  In 1992 we never even considered the possibility of my second wife changing her name.

It appears that the (UK) banks are finding difficulties as they attempt to make money-laundering harder.  One man who changed his name to his wife's had particular difficulties - and his employer even refused to honour the change.  Another woman had changed her name, but still used her old name professionally (a common thing, I'd suggest), but her bank said they were no longer prepared to accept payments in two names.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #353 on: 12 Mar 2018, 01:35 »

This is always somewhat puzzling for me, as changing your name when getting married, is very much the exception over here. As in, I can't think of even one person having done so.
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Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #354 on: 12 Mar 2018, 01:45 »

In the five marriages, including mine, that happened in my social circle in the past year, three the wife changed name, one both partners went for double-barrelled surname, and we're the only to keep our names.

I find a lot of people I've met tend to say they support keeping your name or both partners taking both surnames, but for some reason they have to change their name because the tradition applies to them. It's ultimately each person's choice, but tradition still has a strong influence.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #355 on: 12 Mar 2018, 01:54 »

I suppose there's that. The tradition here is to just keep your own name.

There has been some discussion on which name to pass on to children, though, and last year, the law was changed to allow the parents to choose which surname, or both, to give their children. If they can't agree on that, it defaults to the one that comes first in the alphabet. Most people stick to tradition, though, and go with the father's surname.
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LTK

Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #356 on: 24 Mar 2018, 12:15 »

I've already had to learn basic woodworking and metalworking since moving in here, and now I can add electrical engineering to the list, which was a little more of an iffy process since I was risking more  than a power tool accident, namely frying a 400 washing machine, the fuses, and maybe myself. The reason I couldn't simply plug it into a wall socket is that I'm supposed to install it in the bathroom, which has a special pullcord-connection for safety reasons, with the humidity and all. Of course, nobody told me this. When I ordered this thing I even paid extra for installation service, and when the guys came to haul it in they were like "cord's too short, can't connect this" and left. Paid them for nothing and still couldn't wash.

Following the advice of people on the internet, I decided not to simply power the washing machine with an extension cord from the nearest wall plug because that might have started a fire or something, and went about doing things the proper way. I first bought a few meters of cable, stripped the ends, and then noticed I had no idea how to connect bare wires to the part where the power cable connects to the washing machine. So I had to learn about terminals and crimping, which is hard when you sort of know what those things are but not the actual words for them. Bought a box of 100 terminals for the three I needed, and attached them.

Then it was just a matter of connecting the stripped wires on the other end to the pullcord-connection, which was much more difficult than it had to be, because I had to turn off the power so I wouldn't electrocute myself in the process. Fortunately that blood-loss-induced bout of stupidity from earlier didn't last, otherwise I might have forgotten to do that. But that did mean I had to connect three wires to a socket that was practically against the ceiling with no light except from that of my phone flashlight. It was a bit of a pain in the ass.

Nevertheless, I got it done, and before flipping the power back on I double-checked whether I connected the brown and blue wires properly, because one's supposed to go on the bit labeled L and the other on the N. Turns out I did mix this up and I connected them properly. I don't know what would have happened if I connected the phase wire to the neutral connector and powered it on, but I'm guessing something would have gone 'pop'.

TL;DR: I now have a washing machine and I didn't electrocute myself, hooray!
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #357 on: 24 Mar 2018, 13:24 »

Phase and neutral are largely interchangeable in AC power systems - that's how two pin plugs can be OK.  Mixing up phase or neutral with earth, on the other hand is a pop scenario (phase will give a bigger pop).
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"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

LTK

Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #358 on: 24 Mar 2018, 14:03 »

Oh of course, I hadn't even considered that. If someone asked me which way the plug should go into a socket I'd look at them like they were crazy, but if I'm faced with the same question when looking at a machine's insides and I have to connect a tiny clamp to a tiny metal lip, suddenly it starts to seem like a real conundrum. Fortunately the earth connector was down to the side somewhere and it was impossible to mix it up with the phase or neutral.
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I just got the image of a midwife and a woman giving birth swinging towards each other on a trapeze - when they meet, the midwife pulls the baby out. The knife juggler is standing on the floor and cuts the umbilical cord with a a knifethrow.

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #359 on: 24 Mar 2018, 15:03 »

Just came out to my sister because I am ramping up to coming out to my mum. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
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Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #360 on: 25 Mar 2018, 04:56 »

Hope it goes well.
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Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #361 on: 30 Mar 2018, 15:44 »

I have injured my dominant hand. I was lifting something heavy, lost my grip and it bent my ring finger backwards. No major or lasting damage thankfully but I was in A&E for just under two hours and they told me to keep it taped and iced fit a few days. So a very efficient hospital visit at least and it'll hopefully be mostly better before my flight Tuesday morning.
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Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #362 on: 11 Apr 2018, 11:02 »

Flying home today. It's been a great week. Never thought I'd be able to go to Wrestlemania, never mind four and getting to visit New Orleans twice. My brother came for this one and that added a lot to the excitement.

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #363 on: 11 Apr 2018, 21:31 »

Just came out to my sister because I am ramping up to coming out to my mum. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Best wishes and virtual support!
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #364 on: 24 May 2018, 01:32 »

A sad story, for me.

Some of you will recall that my son Nic is a concert pianist of considerable repute.  His talent became apparent with the remarkable development of his playing from start to the highest level of school exam (what we call "Grade 8" in the UK) in barely five years in his first boarding school.  His piano teacher for most of that time was obviously a major aid to this development.  However, only a couple of years later he was jailed briefly for inappropriate behaviour with minors; we, and Nic, had never seen any evidence of this, and provided character reference documents at his trial. 

We met him a few times over the next couple of decades, not least for birthday meals (his birthday is the same as Nic's); and on one occasion early in Nic's professional career he and Nic played the piano and harmonium together in a London performance of Rossini's Petite Messe Solennelle, of which I have a recording.

But now, after all this time, this:
http://www.bucksfreepress.co.uk/news/13360028.Swimming_pool_pervert_who_filmed_boys_changing_is_jailed/
We feel sadly let down; but his contribution to Nic's musical development remains as genuine now as it has always been.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #365 on: 30 Jul 2018, 15:49 »

So, on Saturday one of my great grandchildren had a fifth birthday party; it turned out to be the biggest family occasion for quite some years. Family members present were two great grandchildren, four grandchildren (and one boyfriend), two children (and spouses), ex-wife (and spouse), my wife and me.

I won't bore you with photos (lucky you!).
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"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #366 on: 12 Aug 2018, 01:23 »

I injured my back in a new way. Could take around two weeks to heal. I'm trying to learn from past errors and ask for help doing things and even time off work, but it's not easy. I know though if I don't a two week injury will become a four week injury or longer. I'm physically and emotionally drained and it's only been four days.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #367 on: 20 Aug 2018, 03:46 »

I just got a sales email from Tapatalk offering to move this forum onto their hosted platform (at a price, of course).  Before ignoring it, I noticed the following paragraph:
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Tapatalk Groups is an end-to-end, fully managed community platform. With your online community on Tapatalk Groups, you get services such as Social Sign On, Spam Prevention, Questionable Content Detection, Ability to accept Member Donations, Premium Membership Subscription, Automatic Newsletters, SEO and more, to help you to run a great, sustainable community.

"Questionable Content Detection"!  What can they mean...?
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"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #368 on: 24 Sep 2018, 15:33 »

I'm feeling really miserable today. Like existential hating myself and my life miserable, but also my tits look amazing today. I don't know what to do with this combination of feelings. I tried taking selfies and while my tits look great, everything else is just exuding sadness.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #369 on: 25 Sep 2018, 00:47 »

I'm feeling really miserable today. Like existential hating myself and my life miserable, but also my tits look amazing today. I don't know what to do with this combination of feelings. I tried taking selfies and while my tits look great, everything else is just exuding sadness.

Dunno whether to like this or not !!

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #370 on: 25 Sep 2018, 00:55 »

I'm feeling really miserable today. Like existential hating myself and my life miserable, but also my tits look amazing today. I don't know what to do with this combination of feelings. I tried taking selfies and while my tits look great, everything else is just exuding sadness.

At least your boobs look good. If my boobs looked good I'd have a problem, since i'm a guy.

Last night I had a serious bout of feeling lonely. It's not like I don't have friends or anything, it's just something different entirely. So I somehwat get the miserable part.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #371 on: 25 Sep 2018, 01:16 »

I'm feeling really miserable today. Like existential hating myself and my life miserable, but also my tits look amazing today. I don't know what to do with this combination of feelings. I tried taking selfies and while my tits look great, everything else is just exuding sadness.

At least your boobs look good. If my boobs looked good I'd have a problem, since i'm a guy.

Last night I had a serious bout of feeling lonely. It's not like I don't have friends or anything, it's just something different entirely. So I somehwat get the miserable part.

There's a Charlie Brown strip which talks about feeling lonely in a crowd of people.
It's one of those incredible foible's of the human mind.
I'm in a better place financially, career-wise, in my authour-ly pursuits, relationship-wise etc etc etc...

But Just yesterday I was telling my wife that I felt inexplicably fed-up... Not depressed, just... a bit meh.
I have NO reasons to feel in such a way... (Well... apparent inability to drop any weight, aside)
The brain's an amazing thing, huh?
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #372 on: 25 Sep 2018, 03:12 »

I'm Austrian. We Austrians, and probably especially the Viennese are known to be grumpy, complaining about anything. If you ask them how they are, there's always something wrong. You can tell whether they're actually good or not by what they're complaining about.

I think there's a "too good to be true" mechanism built into our brains. Makes us vigilant constantly. In case nature sends some predators or some other catastrophies our way. A mechanism that's making it worse for us, mostly, these days.
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Welu

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #373 on: 06 Oct 2018, 16:39 »

This has been a week but right now I want to focus on the positive that for at least this week and maybe next week, I have had the most money in my savings account in a long ass time. I have, at least till my car insurance gets paid, reached my goal for the first time this year. It was a relief to get my insurance reminder this year and be like, "Aw, this is shit." instead of, "Oh fuck, how am I going to do this?"
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #374 on: 19 Oct 2018, 12:16 »

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #375 on: 22 Oct 2018, 08:11 »

(click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: 05 Nov 2018, 02:44 by de_la_Nae »
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #376 on: 01 Nov 2018, 08:07 »

A couple of days ago I went to this concert

On the way back in the bus I was watching RahXephon on my phone.  As we approached Oxford, the two students sitting next to me hesitantly asked what I was watching.  When I told them they were duly surprised that I could know about anime, let alone one they themselves didn't know.  We went on to have a brief but intense chat which was quite fun.
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"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #377 on: 05 Nov 2018, 00:25 »

...When I told them they were duly surprised that I could know about anime, let alone one they themselves didn't know. 

Why...???

 :?
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #378 on: 05 Nov 2018, 02:27 »

Paul's old.  :angel: :angel: :evil: :angel:
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #379 on: 06 Nov 2018, 00:46 »

Paul's old.  :angel: :angel: :evil: :angel:

Ahhhh that old chestnut...
Hmmm... Last DeeCon (Dundee Comic Convention) I was at there were the usual people milling around in various costumes etc, and this twelve year old... (Okay, maybe about 19) thought it would be cute to explain to the old man what "CosPlay" was...

I listened to the condescension for about 30 seconds then said "Sweetheart, I was playing Frank 'n' Furter before you were born..."
I'm sure the look on her face was down to being slammed, and NOT the sudden image of this 55 year old dude in full basque and make-up !  :)
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #380 on: 06 Nov 2018, 15:28 »

Early morning (for me) tomorrow - taking our little boy-dog to the vet for the snip.  :cry: :evil:
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #381 on: 22 Nov 2018, 10:37 »

Watched the Macy's Parade on TV with my wife and daughter. I think My wife may be pregnant.

Context: when she was pregnant with my daughter she was so emotional that she ugly cried almost every 10 minutes when watching Moana.

Well the commercials caused several ugly cry moments which I started noting down a la the gay geese meme:

A commercial where a little girl wants to buy her mommy this expensive necklace from the jeweler but she has a tiny amount of money in her piggy bank so her dad sneakily buys it and puts the daughter's name on it in the from field. The mom opens the gift and thanks the little girl who smiles and gives her a big hug. Seeing her dad giving her a wink. My wife starts ugly crying. "That's so sweet" she managed to say between sobs.

Some time later during another commercial break: A kid is pulling a Paul Revere and is running through the whole neighborhood yelling for kids to come because "he's going to do it!" With many kids in tow, they enter this house where a special needs kid in his wheelchair game system beats a video game and everyone cheers for him and start doing a victory dance. My wife ugly cries again.
"Why are crying?" I asked.
she turns to me and sobbingly answered "He has friends!"

She almost lost it but kept composed during the Allstate thank you card to rescuers and firefighters but she kept it together.

About an hour later another commercial played. It was a woman getting a new perfume and meeting a guy. It cuts to them buying a Christmas tree in a lot and she's sneaking up to drop a snowball on his head while he's crouching and petting his golden retriever. Without turning around, he asks her if she found anything she liked yet and she just drops snowball to the ground because she got caught before she could do it. Then it cuts to him in their house with the dog and he's just sitting in the living room listening to music when she comes home quiet as a mouse trying to sneak by him and he says "welcome home." "How did you know it was me?" she asked and he just smiled. Then it cuts to her running out of the perfume and looking sad. Then it cuts to the man back at the store from the begging of the commercial wearing black sun-blocker glasses and his seeing eye dog buying more perfume and surprising her with it on Christmas day. My wife started bawling like a child. I asked her "Why are you crying?
"He was blind"

And finally near the end of the parade, there was a commercial I completely missed since I was looking at my phone and she just sobbed. I looked up and the commercial had already changed. I asked her what happened and she replied "Mom's on space station!" I laughed and asked her to explain. While sobbing she explained how the mom was on the space station and couldn't be there for the holidays for her kid so the kid sent her a snow globe and stuff to turn the space station into a snow globe.

So yeah, I think she may be pregnant or at the very least in a very emotional state.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #382 on: 22 Nov 2018, 15:06 »

One of my partners would cry at every single one of those.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #383 on: 23 Nov 2018, 00:54 »

Watched the Macy's Parade on TV with my wife and daughter. I think My wife may be pregnant.

Context: ....
(EXCUSE SNIPPAGE!)

So yeah, I think she may be pregnant or at the very least in a very emotional state.

Test her with this one...

(Aawwwwhh!)
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Covenant
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #384 on: 04 Dec 2018, 08:46 »

A decades-long friend called a little after midnight and said he's been on dialysis for three years, just got a donor, and could I drive him to the hospital for his checkin 7-3/4 hours after the phone call and feed his cats while he's in the hospital.

I agreed to feed the cats and started processing it all.

I feel a little bad consigning someone to Lyft for something like that but he's about 20 miles away from me.

(Yes, he does have other friends. Everyone else is out of town. It's not like you get to schedule things like this.)
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de_la_Nae

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #385 on: 04 Dec 2018, 18:56 »

(click to show/hide)
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #386 on: 04 Dec 2018, 19:18 »

I'm sorry about your dad, De_la_Nae. And the people you love, but can't support (for good reasons; that's not a criticism).
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #387 on: 05 Dec 2018, 10:21 »

My friend is back on email and reports wanting to piss all the time. I have a vague impression it didn't go perfectly but it's solid good news.

I will add having two good kidneys to my daily recitation of causes for gratitude.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #388 on: 05 Dec 2018, 11:15 »

WS: Thank you. It is... what it is.

IICIH: I don't have much experience, but I don't get the impression many kidney transplants go 'perfectly'. Here's hoping, though. much easier than the dialysis machine, if you can help it at all
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Humility and mercy, though, are not the same thing as irresponsibility.

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #389 on: 06 Dec 2018, 12:15 »

So far this week I have managed:

A refund of 130 for Duty and VAT incorrectly assessed on the return of a microphone I owned from repair in the USA;
A refund of about 1600 of overpaid income tax (they gave me an incorrect tax code at the start of the tax year);
Ordered a very rare second-hand CD I've been looking for for the past eight years;
Been sent a rip of another (even more rare) CD which I discovered that a person I once did a favour for had a copy of.

Quite a good week, I feel.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #390 on: 07 Dec 2018, 02:55 »

So far this week I have managed:

A refund of 130 for Duty and VAT incorrectly assessed on the return of a microphone I owned from repair in the USA;
A refund of about 1600 of overpaid income tax (they gave me an incorrect tax code at the start of the tax year);
Ordered a very rare second-hand CD I've been looking for for the past eight years;
Been sent a rip of another (even more rare) CD which I discovered that a person I once did a favour for had a copy of.

Quite a good week, I feel.

yeahyeahyeah..

but WHAT WERE THE CDs!!!!!????
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #391 on: 07 Dec 2018, 04:38 »

Thank you Joe, for voicing the question screaming inside me.
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #392 on: 07 Dec 2018, 05:44 »

On this page, MRCD 905 (ordered) and MMSCD 3 (ripped).

They are recordings of organs made using Ambisonics by a man who is now owner and MD of one of this country's oldest organ building businesses (Willis organs).
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"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )

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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #393 on: 10 Dec 2018, 01:23 »

On this page, MRCD 905 (ordered) and MMSCD 3 (ripped).

They are recordings of organs made using Ambisonics by a man who is now owner and MD of one of this country's oldest organ building businesses (Willis organs).

Wow - That's some specialist sounds right there!

Hang on... the owner of Willis Organs is called David...?
This is a 'Classical' Level troll, isn't it!!  :-D
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Re: Blog Thread 5: A New Beginning
« Reply #394 on: 10 Dec 2018, 02:00 »

Willis is not an uncommon name, so combinations come up...

My mother's maiden name was Willis (she was descended from the Dr Willis* who attended King George III); but more unusually, my paternal grandfather's first name was also Willis - so I have some old music copies inscribed "Willis Hodges".

* I have an original of that print.
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"Being human, having your health; that's what's important."  (from: Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi )
"As long as we're all living, and as long as we're all having fun, that should do it, right?"  (from: The Eccentric Family )
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