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This is the best, most accurate poll in history

Polls are just a construct of the liberal hive mind

In Soviet Northampton, polls take you!

Internet polls are unscientific anyway

Purple Monkey Spathe Ham and Waffles with Spider Coffee

Maybe next week someone else should do the poll

Polls have been wrong before, you know. Look at Brexit. Look at America. The media lies to us, WAKE UP SHEOPLE

[dexeron]

The eels could be anywhere.

The eels are everywhere.

[BenRG]

^^ http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/NightmareFuel ^^

 

[Stoutfellow]

Come now, surely the place to look for eels is in your hovercraft.

[osaka]

They're all on Momo's old chassis actually.

[Neko_Ali]

Come now, surely the place to look for eels is in your hovercraft.

I will not buy this record, it is scratched.

[Zebediah]

I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.

[JimC]

Another on the "Animals that can't be trusted" list...

[Kugai]

The Eels are not what they seem

[Detachable Felix]

I will not buy this tobacconist, it is scratched.

But, would you like to come back to my place, bouncy bouncy?

[Thrudd]

Come now, surely the place to look for eels is in your hovercraft.

Nope. Mine is full of wild rice.
Two things to note to wannabe pilots. Hovercraft don't do sharp turns. Wild rice is a lousy choice of stopping medium, plus they sting.

[cesium133]

New comic.

If this were a Damn You Willis comic, I'd assume this is exactly when Faye was about to step into CoD.

[TheEvilDog]

And that's how accidents happen!

I don't mean drunken shenanigans, I mean Hanners distracting Dora from her swordhairdressing.

[Phaedrus_schmaedrus]

If there was ever a comic that made me want to get in on the Patreon special, this is it. I really hope this isn't just a gag after what happened with Faye.

[Method of Madness]

I haven't checked tomorrow's yet, but you'd still have had to wait a day after seeing this. You should still be a patron though

[Zebediah]

"Behind the box with the flare gun"? Why do they have a flare gun in a coffee shop?

Yeah, I know, why do they have a sword in a coffee shop? But this makes even less sense than the sword.

[cesium133]

Well, if Dora ever needs to brun down the coffee shop in a hurry.

(Brun was a typo that I decided to keep...  )

[neurocase]

The conclusion that Dora and Emily are now doing more or less precisely what Faye did (that Dora fired her for) must be too simple. There has to be some formula I'm missing as to why this shouldn't be interpreted as, oh, I don't know, massively hypocritical? Right? Guys?

[Near Lurker]

They're doing it overtly, with permission, as Faye had done before without incident.  The Emergency Bourbon's there for a reason, after all.  Faye was fired for sneaking in whiskey after being told no.

[Tova]

It's days like these when being a Patreon honestly is a bit of a mixed blessing.

The conclusion that Dora and Emily are now doing more or less precisely what Faye did (that Dora fired her for) must be too simple. There has to be some formula I'm missing as to why this shouldn't be interpreted as, oh, I don't know, massively hypocritical? Right? Guys?

I don't think you're missing anything, no.

[TheEvilDog]

The conclusion that Dora and Emily are now doing more or less precisely what Faye did (that Dora fired her for) must be too simple. There has to be some formula I'm missing as to why this shouldn't be interpreted as, oh, I don't know, massively hypocritical? Right? Guys?

Bear in mind that Faye had come into work hungover, she lied to Dora about her drinking, she was caught by Dora actually sneaking a drink on the job. Its that Faye was storing alcohol around the business, which would be incredibly dangerous were Coffee of Doom to be inspected. Faye and her drinking were a liability to Dora's livelihood and to customer safety. All that pretty early in the morning.

I mean, the fact that emergency bourbon even exists in the Coffee of Doom doesn't make it hypocritical for them to drink at work, they've all done it at one stage or another, but never to the extent that Faye got to when she was fired. Faye is a seasoned drinker, she's an alcoholic and one bottle isn't going to have the same effect on her that half a bottle has had on Emily and Dora.

This is a callback to some of the wackier hijinks that occurred at CoD before Dorapocalypse and Fayemageddon.

[Neko_Ali]

It's a little bit hypocritical, but not much. Remember that it wasn't Faye having a drink at work. It was Faye being drunk all the time at work, including after being given a warning about it. Plus, what we are seeing here is a perfect example of why you don't want a drunk employee around. They do stupid things like hair swordstyling.

[lawoot]

What is it with Emily and drunken haircuts?

[TheEvilDog]

What is it with Emily and drunken haircuts?

A gag that Jeph has decided to run with?

[Case]

"I'm a leaf on the wind ... wa-OUCH!"

(click to show/hide)

[BenRG]

I'm sure that there must be a good explanation for this. Most importantly because I refuse to believe that Dora could get that drunk in just ten minutes by any normal kind of behaviour. More importantly, why did they drink at all? Something tells me that something happened in those ten minutes that meant drinking and drinking a lot was the only way to react to in a way that ensures retained sanity!

I can only assume a most unnatural horror was visited upon Dora and Emily's souls! Did May and Pintsize come in and announce that they were engaged or something?

[Akima]

I blame Disney's Mulan for any impulse to cut hair with a sword. I doubt it would work well.

[Storel]

If that sword is as dull as most commercially sold swords, it won't cut anything but butter.


...Although I wouldn't put it past either Dora or Faye to have spent some time sharpening it at some point.

[BenRG]

I think that Faye actually forged that sword. Additionally, given that we've seen Dora drive it into the surface of the counter without much effort, I suspect that it is fully combat-sharpness.

I know that Massachusetts' gun laws are pretty strict but what laws govern edged weapons?

[Storel]

"Assault with a deadly weapon" covers just about anything.

Edit:

I think that Faye actually forged that sword. Additionally, given that we've seen Dora drive it into the surface of the counter without much effort, I suspect that it is fully combat-sharpness.

All that shows is that it was sharp at one time. If it's made of stainless steel, it won't have stayed sharp for very long, as anyone who's ever had a stainless steel pocketknife (Boy Scout knife, Swiss Army knife, etc.) can verify. And if it's carbon steel, which is more likely if Faye made it herself, then it'll hold an edge longer but need a lot more rust-prevention care than it's probably gotten while lying around on a shelf under the counter.

Still, a rusty but sharp sword will probably do more damage than an unrusted but dull blade, assuming it hasn't rusted all the way through. Plus, anyone it hits will need to get a tetanus booster shot, too! 

[Masterpiece]

Kinda mad at Dora for being a hypocrite right now, but since Faye is in a better place, I'm not sorry for her. As always, Dora is as sensitive to the situation as a drunk Hulk.

This post was sent from inside my phone!

[brasca]

Kinda mad at Dora for being a hypocrite right now, but since Faye is in a better place, I'm not sorry for her. As always, Dora is as sensitive to the situation as a drunk Hulk.

This post was sent from inside my phone!

I expect that there will be some people calling Dora out on the board and most likely Hannelore in the strip, but as previous posters have stated Faye did it repeatedly even after getting warned so that's the biggest difference.   

[themacnut]

That last panel, right there, is an excellent example of why it's a good idea to stay sober. Drunk people think the dumbest and most dangerous ideas are fun to try. IRL someone could lose their scalp or maybe even their entire head this way. Emily will only end up with a bad haircut of course.

On the other hand, other people's drunk shenanigans are fun to watch. Bonus points if you can film said shenanigans and post them up on YouTube or DailyMotion for the world's entertainment.

[oddtail]

Drunk people think the dumbest and most dangerous ideas are fun to try.

In my experience, smart people do not have really stupid ideas when they get drunk. And if they do, they don't act on them.

Yes, alcohol lowers inhibitions and impairs critical thinking, but it does not turn you into a completely different person. People often use being drunk as an *excuse* to do stuff they'd want to do anyway. Because they're drunk, so they can blame the alcohol for whatever they do. At least, from what I've seen.

Or, as I've seen it put more shortly, "you're never as drunk as you think you are".

[Pilchard123]

Or possibly "...as drunk as you want others to thing you are".

[Tova]

Kinda mad at Dora for being a hypocrite right now, but since Faye is in a better place, I'm not sorry for her. As always, Dora is as sensitive to the situation as a drunk Hulk.

This post was sent from inside my phone!

I expect that there will be some people calling Dora out on the board and most likely Hannelore in the strip, but as previous posters have stated Faye did it repeatedly even after getting warned so that's the biggest difference.

OTOH, Dora really should know better. It's reasonable to expect her to set an example. Can't expect others to do what you are not willing to do.

BTW there is a comic where Faye(?) is shown honing the sword's edge. I have neither the archive-fu nor the time to find it now, though.

[Atherea]

BTW there is a comic where Faye(?) is shown honing the sword's edge. I have neither the archive-fu nor the time to find it now, though.

http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1773

[Kugai]

This could start a whole new trend in Hairstyling.

[TheEvilDog]

This could start a whole new trend in Hairstyling.

Only if people want something a little off the top. Permanently.

[DonInKansas]

This could start a whole new trend in Hairstyling.

[Tova]

BTW there is a comic where Faye(?) is shown honing the sword's edge. I have neither the archive-fu nor the time to find it now, though.

http://www.questionablecontent.net/view.php?comic=1773

I knew someone would come through, thanks.

[Blood-Tree]

This could start a whole new trend in Hairstyling.

Only if people want something a little off the top. Permanently.

It's a slice of life webcomic.

[celticgeek]

No, no!  I want to see drunken car fights!

[brasca]

I knew Hannelore would call Dora out on this, but even though she agrees I don't think this will lead to Faye getting her job back. 

[Method of Madness]

I don't think Faye wants it back.

[Oenone]

I knew Hannelore would call Dora out on this, but even though she agrees I don't think this will lead to Faye getting her job back.

Nor should it -- Faye and the shop are better when it's a place she goes, not a place she works.

[Is it cold in here?]

I want to read about Faye moving forward in life instead.

[Tova]

Pretty sure absolutely no one thought that.

[thedevilissix]

Kinda mad at Dora for being a hypocrite right now, but since Faye is in a better place, I'm not sorry for her. As always, Dora is as sensitive to the situation as a drunk Hulk.

This post was sent from inside my phone!

I expect that there will be some people calling Dora out on the board and most likely Hannelore in the strip, but as previous posters have stated Faye did it repeatedly even after getting warned so that's the biggest difference.

OTOH, Dora really should know better. It's reasonable to expect her to set an example. Can't expect others to do what you are not willing to do.

Agreed. Also as much I hate to be a killjoy, there are workplaces that'll fire an employee if they see them drunk just the once.
The comic today handled things beautifully, I thought. (Brasca: looks like you called it )

[Gyrre]

The Eels are not what they seem

They can often be spotted near Susan's House with Peach Blossoms as they seek the Daisies of the Galaxy while Climbing to The Moon. If you ask them nicely, they might offer you some Novacaine for the soul.

[BenRG]

I still want to know why Dora suddenly decided she wanted to be drunk. Emily I can let slide because, frankly, trying to establish cause-and-effect to her behaviour just gives me a migraine. However, Dora isn't a problem drinker based on what I have seen previously, nor is she prone to whimsy so something must have happened to trigger this. I'm still blaming Pintsize; then again, I tend to blame Pintsize for lots of things.

I'm thinking that they need to cut off Emily. Basically, as alcohol lowers inhibitions, it tends to make her behaviour even more fantastically dangerous and innocently self-destructive! Sword-fighting cars may be the least of the things she secretly wishes to do!


[edit]
Fix'd typo