I still think she's just anxious and uncertain about the bar. She told Marten it's fine, she might think it's fine, but now the doubt set's in. The "what if's" and different scenarios start playing in her head. smell of her favorite beer, someone sipping whiskey and it looks good. Also think she might have said it so no one tried to change plans around for her sake. Everyone want's to go out and have a good time, who am I to stop them from what they want to do and have them change their plans just because of me?
If that's what's happening here I can relate. Hate crowds, hate large places. I've been in the Security/Safety field for the past 20 years and sadly my job has conditioned me and I just can't seem to turn off my work mode anymore. Need to know exits, need to be in a spot where I can see who's coming and going. Too many people and I can't keep track of the faces? Suddenly 8-12 people behind me when I last looked and saw 4? Unease and anxiety set's in. Certain noises, certain phrases, heck even someone coming in and acting odd, all put me on edge to the point it's visible and noticeable in my demeanor. Once I've lost that sense of Situational Awareness and knowing who's coming and going that feeling of anxiousness and.. Well honestly, a sense of failure to perform at the thing I've been doing for a career for so long begins to set in. I try not to be defined by my job but when it becomes a part of your everyday and a part of your image to people you know and trust, it becomes a part of your sense of self.
Makes it difficult when the friends want to go somewhere, restaurants, large bars, trips into the City... They know about my issue with things, they still invite me, and I still acquiesce. I mean, I do like doing things, like spending time with my friends and I generally have a good time as long as it's not too bad of a situation. They want me there and have invited me so who am I to tell them to change their plans and consider me more than everyone else in the group? Although, I admit it was much easier back when I was a smoker. I got too overwhelmed or out of my comfort zone I could usually escape outside for a breather lol.
They all no the hard no situations though. Not going anywhere near any tree lighting events, ball drops, or grand openings of whatever. And no bakery grand openings... That one needs explanation though. Friend of mine took us on a walking tour of his new neighborhood. Nice enough place, not a place you'd want to be walking alone after 11:00pm but nice and pleasant during the day and early evening. Rounded a block and saw a small line, nothing major, grand opening of a new bakery and I'm a sucker for a good cinnamon roll, which they had on display and looked amazing. Agreed to stop and grab something. They get in line and wait for me to do my thing which is something I have to do for most new places i've never been too (I have a habit of walking the exterior of buildings and noting, exits, windows, paths of egress) then when I go in I scan the inside of the building best I can and can usually generate a mental floor plan and image of what is where and where things are and how to get out of said place.
I get in line with them and 10 minutes or so go by as we get into the store. 2 things have happened since then. Line is packed behind us and 2 guys are arguing about cutting in line a little further back. Don't know if it was the two arguing guys or not, we were inside the store and I lost sight of them outside on line, but next thing I know all I'm hearing is a series of rapid pops and the front window of the bakery has shattered and everyone is screaming. Due to the number of people, way too many panicking people pushing/shoving/ trying to squeeze out the front door and no one is going anywhere. Grabbed my two friends by the hand, walked them through the employee door, out the back of the loading dock of the bakery, down two alley's and popped out onto the main road a block away and about 20 feet from the car. We still go back, cinnammon roll was totally worth it when I finally got one, but it's an ongoing joke whenever someone see's a "grand opening" for a bakery or an ad online to ask me if I'd like to take the lead and keep them safe while they go.
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Topic: WCDT Strips 3986-3990 (22nd - 26th April, 2019) (Read 32081 times)